HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Exeter Advocate, 1890-11-6, Page 6A New version..
,Peek
Father, detar, father, come home with me now,
The clock on the mantel strikes 1;
•Sour Burgundy's chilled and your eanvas-backs
burnt,
And your terrapin's sadly o'erdone;
Our mother has gone to a dinner yo swell
And has likewise attended a dance;
{She .has tinted and waltzed with au Austrian
count,
As well as an buoy from France.
Colne hornet Come home
Please tither, dear father, come home!
Father, deer lather, oome home with me now,
Tho eloott ou the mantel strikes 3;
Your beautiful room and your easy down bed
Are loaf cine !inpatient for yon.
You have got ev'ry luxury fortune can send,
Tuoluthu; s. porcelain tub;
And yet you've unwillingto turn to your home,
And leave your eternaold e1ub.
Father, dear tattier, oome home with mo now.
Trite Meek on the mantel strikes 3;
And J.NOli :ler will presently oome from the ball,
And yen both can take supper with me,.
We will t-nrpt your coy fanny with canvas -back
duck.
And tickle your taste with champagne;
And It you can't make yourself wholly at home,
,Why, strike for your club once again.
Come Thome t Come home t
tic) %vhere you will, there is no club like
Florae,
ION BY AN ENGLISHMAN
,kv
�rQ � STORY.
" Buy tell me," I said, " what is the
meaning en this anonymous message ?"
I pulled it oat of my pocket, and gave it to
him to read.
" means, no doubt, what it says,"
leashed leaymond.
Why should it be sent to me 2"
" My dear boy, you are simply impossible.
Haw ani 1 to tell you why an anonymous
letter is sent you ? If I could tell you the
reason of such a letter, the name of the
writer, and his address in town, I suppoee
the letter would no longer be an anony
mons p^odnction. For goodness' sake, b
mote n atonable 1"
Then) was no use in asking him any
more questions ; and it is useless to recall
all he eaid, during this walk, about Diane
anis her behavior in these trying °irmam-
atenoes.
One thing, however, struck me. Ray-
mond, who is not a man to exaggerate or to
idealize, new loud in his praise of Diane.
" 1 could never have believed," be onoe
said, " that she would have grown into so
beautiful a girl ; and if your mutual love
has dine .his, I can but encourage love in
the future."
Auei'her time during our walk he asked,
in a Id "d of helf-dreamy way,
" Where the deuce has ehe got that de-
oisiaz of oharaoter which she exhibits ?
Would you believe it, the told my wife last
night that no power on earth will make
her say ' yes' when she is asked the usual
question at the marriage ceremony? "
" When as that ceremony to take place 2"
I asked.
" I believe," said Raymond, " that it is
fixed for to -morrow week—I mean the civil
marriage—and that the religions ceremony
will take place on the following day."
" Hes the trousseau been ordered ? " I
asked, with a painful bone gnawing at my
throat and well•nigh strangling me.
" Certainly, and Diane has taken an
extranedinere interest in it—so much so, in
fact, thea her mother declares the girl to
have on other idea in her head than to
gateer together, if not the richest, at least
the meat beaatifnl corbeille de manage ever
seen."
It e'ruck me all of a sadden, and the
idea -b cost rhe bone back in a most effioaoi-
ons meaner, that she was taking an interest
in her tronssean on my account, and I
forthw eh determined to order my own
weddet g cont and presents for my bride.
Rip pond added brightness to this
though t by remarking slyly, "One of Diane's
peoulitnritiee ia th at she has absolutely
and decidedly refused to have any initials
embroidered on her things, and all are to
be marked with her name, Diane, only."
She knows," I exclaimed to Raymond,
", that that is the only name I Dare for."
" Va to nromener," said Raymond, " I
am sick of von and Diane ; and as I am
near home I will leave yon, nnlese you
have settled with Madame de Chantalis to
disturb my peaceful evening by more love.
talk."
He said ail this so good-aatnrally that I
could not take offence ; but I wished him
good -by, thanking him for the valuable in-
formation Be had communicated to me.
Four dive went by, and owing to some
unueaal preesare of work I had seen no-
body, nor, heard from any one, when
towards evening a Iittle note was handed to
me. It contained these words :
" Moeday next, 11 o'clock, at the Mairie
of the VII. Arrondissement. Be there—D."
To describe my feelings on reoeiving this
is to attempt the impossibe. I had believed
in a crisis, but in one which would take
place before any necessity bad arisen to go
so far as the manor's presence.
Y had fended that at the last moment
either Diana's parents world have had pity
on their daughter's misery, that the count
world have respected her undisguised
loathing to this arranged marriage, that
Diane herself world have thrown herself at
her father's feet and implored his mercy,
or would have begged the count to ewe
her young years and relieve her misery ;
but apparently all these considerations
were absurd—indeed, they neverhad been
thought of.
" Monday next, 11 o'clock, at the
mayoralty. Be there." Diane herself, in
her own handwriting, though she merely
initialled the note and did not sign it—
Diane, my Diane—invited me to be
present at ber wedding with my rival.
I read again. There was no mistake,
Lest I should forget the exact district of
Paris where the girl lived who constituted
my life, my hope, my soul, my faith, my
creed, my everything, she had marked it
down. There it was written, "Seventh
District, at 11. o'clock"; and in letters as
clear and en distinct as if they were printed,
the delivered her command, "Be there."
I required no more. I world go. She
bad bidden me ; it was henceforth a
duty. Perhaps she might want help ; no
one but myself should give it to her ;
perhaps she wished me to witness her
unwillingness, her powerlessness, her
sacrifice to duty: Did I not know it ? No,
I coald not go. Maybe she wanted me to
have the chance of forbidding the benne.
I world rise in my chair on the following
Sunday and throw my glove, to be picked
up by the eeoator-oount.
Perhaps she wished me toprove myself
her pday
chain ion on the of er saoriioe.
.
Yee, I would.
I took a sheet of
a er;pinned upon it the
P P
little blue favor which I had eo long
treasured, and wrote these words :
" The blue is as bright as it was when 1
received it. Pleaee .return it if a storm is
mpending. I want to protect my pro.
perty."
Bynine in the morning it was returned
g
With these words :
"Ii fast oombattrs a none deux main -
tenant,"
I fully understood the message, and re.
turned an answer by post, fatly directed to
Diane, and written in the boldest Ohara°,
lets :
"MitDeurateo,--Rely upon ire. I shall
be by your side on Monday, and we shell
wiu the day."
She answered .it by a messenger ---a valet
of her own father'e, Baying;
Wait till X give the eignal ; do not pre
oipitate things, My signal will eurpriee eo
many that it will be unmistakable; but it
inay strain all the courage I possess, and at
that supreme moment I may be undble to
do more, I therefore look to your strong
arm, your strong will, and our stronger
love to help your wife that is to be.
" DIANE."
As a man prepares by fasting and prayer
to deserve a life sternal hereafter, so did I
trom the moment I received tbo above.
note devote myself to solitude and thought,
as a preparation to the ceremony of Mon-
day, to which Diane alone had bidden me
to which I looked for the signal which
world free her and free me, and throw us
into each other's arms.
Monday Dame ; and long before the
cloak had struck ten, arrayed in my beet
olothee, wearing the 'blue favor given by
Diane during that ootillon which had
played such a part in our lives, with a
oonnteneuoe as stolid, as firm, as resolved
as was he will within, sweetie refleoted it•
self in i,.y features, I eongen admission at
the Mairie.
At ten, and not before, I was allowed to
go into the hell ; but it was not before
halt -past ten that I was permitted to
enter the room wherein Mademoiselle de
Breteuille's marriage was about to be
solemnized in accordance with the require-
ments of the French civil law.
There was a square table, with pen, ink,
and paper. There were two ohaire for the
engaged couple in front of the table, and
two others for the mayor and hie clerk, or
adjoint, on the other side.
There were a few other chairs in the
body of the room for near relatives and o.d
people ; bat I oared nos for a seat, and took
up my position next to the wall on the side
which the lady world occupy during the
ceremony.
Presently the people came trooping in,
and all in gay humor, bandying their
remarks at one another, and, perceiving
me, whispering to each other that which I
oared not to hear, but which, I felt cer-
tain, referred to my sad disappointment
and my well•known admiration for la
mariee.
The noise increased as the company in-
creased, and now many pressed near me,
and talked and compassionated with me.
To all remarks I preserved a stolid
silence, but edged myself forward, eo as to
keep well in sight of Diane.
A few minutes later the mayor, wearing
his scarf, and hie clerk, entered the room,
bowed to the audience, and aeked whether
the marriage ceremony could be proceeded
with 2
"They are coming ! " shouted the people
in the audience ; and, making room for
them, there marohed forward a procession,
in the first two persons of which it was
composed I alone took interest.
The Marquise de Bretenille led his
daughter to the table. Hie step was uncer-
tain ; hers was perfectly steady. His eyes
wandered ; hers were fixed- Hie counten-
ance indicated trouble ; hers was as oalm
and as placid as if nothing in the world was
more common then to be led as a lamb to
the slaughter.
As they approached the table they both
caught sight of me. Diane bowed to me,
and gave me once more that divine smile
which led me a captive at her feet, and
plunged my whole frame, body and soul,
into one long worship of her beauty, good-
ness, and being. The marquis frowned and
looked away.
Another man saw me too, and frowned
likewise. M. de Manpert, on taking his
seat on the other aide of Mademoiselle de
Bretenille, had me in full view, and
relished not the eight. As if the air had
become suddenly charged with eleotrioity,
everyone kept looking at the anxious faces
of myself, M. de Manpert, and the marquis.
Although rumor had not been very busy
respecting us, still snmoient report bad
spread as to this marriage being hateful to
the bride for the concern which our conn-
tenanoes exhibited not to give it consist-
ency ; and a kind of silence, such as
precedes a storm, fell upon the noisy and
brilliant company.
The unusual sight, too, of a cotillion
ribbon at my button -hole attracted Mien -
Won, and made people wonder what
possessed me to wear such a bauble on
such an occasion.
It was therefore with breathless atten-
tion that the large gathering of the friends
of both families listened to the mayor's
statements as to what constituted legal
impedimenta to a marriage, and with
almost painful expectation they waited the
answers which were now to be given to the
mayor's questions.
" Monsieur," asked the mayor—a very
gentlemanlike man of some 50 years of
age, with a long, well -combed beard, and a
countenance suited to his official position,
" are yon the person desirous to be
married 2 "
It seemed so absurd a question, seeing
that M. de Manpert was etanding before
him for the purpose, that I could not
refrain a sickly smile that forced itself to
my face, end which M. de Manpert noted
almost at the same time he acquiesced in
reply to the official question.
"Then," proceeded the mayor, in a
eententione manner, reading from a paper
he held in hia hands, and having previously
adjusted an eye -glass, "you, Count Charles
Emmanuel de Manpert, do you take this
lady, Diane Marie Ghielaine de Bretenille,
for your wife 2 "
" I do," replied the count, with a bow to
Diane.
" And yon," oontinned the mayor, still
reading in the mane unconcerned fashion,
" Diane Merle Ghielaine de Bretenille, do
you, with the consent of your parents, duly
certified and freely given -do yon take
Connt Charles Emmanuel de Maupert for
your husband 2 "
My whole soul went out to the girl, who
in that solemn moment had it in her power.
by one single word from her own lips to
seal her own fate and mine ; and with a
terrible sickness of heart that foreboded an
equally terrible oriels I marked her lovely,
pale faoe, from which all rays of sunshine.
had faded, and I was about to otter a yell
of despair, when from under her veil I
noticed a little blue bow, jest like the one I
wore, sewn beneath the folds of the bodice
of her white dress, hid almost from view,
peeping at that moment at me as if to say,
What manner of faith have you in mo ?
Am I not trno to you ? Am I not here to
show' yon how staunch I can be 2 Wait for
the signal and .tee.
All this was felt, thought of, seen, • and
eppreoieted in the apace of a second ; for
in another second a clear voice, like that of
a silver bell, went forth pare and true
into the hall, and taking that assemblage to
witness, sounded in my ears like the
message of an angel, as the words, "Non,
Monsieur le Maire," strnok the whole
audience dnmb with amazement.
Before the atonishment of all present
had had time to translate itself into words,
the mayor continuing his oiiieiel duties
with the slightest possible Semblance of
sarpriee visible on hie face, asked the noble
girl the motives of her refusal.
In the same Mauled tones came the
reply, Beoanse it is the drab time that 1
have had au opportunity of replying to a
distinot question because neither ray
parents nor this gentleman here," inclining
her head towarde. M. de Maupert, "have
oondeaeended to ask it of me ; and because"
--.her voice began to taller, her strength
Wee evidently failing—" beoeuee "—I rpah,
ed to her side, and ;supporting ber beauti,.
fun form—"because,' she concluded, her
eyes lifted up to mine, " this id the, man f
my choice."
1 kissed her lips before the whole of the
startled audience. I took her up in my
arms with a giant's strength to a chair
away from the cursed seat she had been
made to sit upon before ; I knelt by her
side while the mayor rushed off for re-
storatives, and by the side of my epeeohlese
love I stood guard, as a man, defiantly pro•
teoting the life of his life.
Then, as if for the first time the signific-
ance of the soenoe enacted before them had
jest struck them, there was a rush to the
door of frightened ladies and discreet
friends, one and all anxious to quit a place
where their stereotyped notione of pro.
priety, involving, for aught they oared, the
ruin of a young life, had received s0 great
e shook, and hurrying to fill the world of
gossip with the details of the painful
tragedy they had just witnessed.
But what oared I for gossip or oritioism.
at that moment 2 My darling was sate
from profanation of other hands, and I be-
lieve I should have struck dead, with the
fury of a maniac, the first person that at-
temped to approach my charge.
In a short time the wearied eyes opened,
and seemed to look for something. My
arm was round her in a moment, and be-
fore her stunned and petrified parents my
Diane put her slight arms round my neck
for protection, and we embraoed with all
the might that four weeks of pent-up love
could pour into one happy moment of glori-
fied bliss.
Those who looked down upon us in that
hour of our triumph and ecstaoy realized
then, if they never did before, how power.
less are the cold calculations of humanity
and its meaningless projects for the happi•
ness of youth against the power of love,
that, once acknowledged by two ardent
young natures, brooks no obstacle, knows
no barrier, and overturns in its sweeping
current the firmest bulwarks raised against
y eocial codes or national prejndioes.
CHAPTER VIl.
The events of the last few hours were of
too great importance to allow any delay in
bringing them to a settlement and whereas
the dignity of a senator had apparently
been 'enough for the count to find a ready
excuse why he should not be the cause of a
scandal, or a play a part in an affair of love,
into which he well knew he not been will-
ingly dragged, and he had on that account
quitted the room, it was left for the old
marquis to express hie opinion of our con-
dnat, and to determine the line of notion he
himself wished tie to adopt.
It must, however, be aoknowledged that
the Count de Manpert, on retiring from the
scene of action, left word that he was only
behaving se he deemed at present the obese
of disoretion and dignity required of him,
but that he would wait in an antechamber
any call on him which might be made by
either the marquis, the marquise, or the
young lady herself.
As to Diane and myself, we were eo rapt
in the enjoyment of the moment, so happy
in the fast that we were there together,
breathing one breath, speaking one thought,
and defying the world in our strong young
love, that we could not speak.
We looked at one another, and the out.
pouringe of our souls went to eaoh other in
that look. So intense was it, that it was
almost alarming to the on -lookers, who foe'
Boole time were riveted to the spot, where
they stood silent and dazed, like ourselves,
in a dream.
I was the first to break the spell ; and
taking my arm away from the frail trea-
sure that I hod been holding next my
heart with each infinite tenderness and
pride, I went up to the marquise, and
taking her unwilling hand she hod no
power to keep back, I kissed it reverently ;
then going to the old marquis, whose tears
stood thickly in hie eyes, I said, " Mon-
sieur, here is your daughter. I ask her of
yon, and I will give up my profession to live
with her and yon, if yon consent to it."
He did not answer, but looked at
Diane. The tears welled in her beautiful
tired eyee. She gave him a little eloquent
smile, but when ehe tried to speak she
could not.
I ren to her, fearing she was going to
faint again; bat she revived on my being
near her, and gave my hand so meaning a
pressure that, keeping it looked in mine
own, I raised it to my lips, and looked at
her father.
He could stand it no longer, and bent
down to embrace his child.
I stood by, looking on.
Diane, without saying a word, oanght
hold of her father's hand, and, gently lead-
ing it, put it into mine.
We shook hands silently, bat the ohange
had been wrought that we hoped for.
Regaining bis voioe, the marquis asked
for the Comte de Maupert, and on his
doming in, the marquis addressed him :
" Monsieur le Comte, I owe yon a repara-
tion of honor for the insult which has
been publicly offered to yon by my own
flesh and blood. I am at your orders,
where and when yon may please to
appoint."
I listened, stupefied. This had never
entered into my reckoning. I only noted
with satisfaction that Diane had not taken
in the meaning of this speech ; but the
count' at once replied, with a courage that
did him honor :
"Monsieur le Margnie, if such be your
wish I am, of course, at your commands;;
lent we are too old acquaintances for yon to
misunderstand me when I here declare
that I am unwilling to repay rn blood the
debt of gratitude I owe for an honor to my-
self yon had considered me deserving of,
and which it is not your fault, or that of
Madame la Marquise, that I ehonld not
now enjoy."
There was a pause ; but as it was
evidently for the count to speak, and he
felt it, he went on :
" Mademoiselle, your daughter, has only
said the troth, and in that ehe has not die•
graced herself or your name. She has
indeed, acted with a courage so rare
among young persona of her age in the
France of the present day that I can only
regret, and bitterly regret, that I should
not have perceived, until ,it was too late,
the whole extent of my loss,
t' It is perfectly true that she was never
asked whether she willingly accepted my
courtship. She showed me plainly that it
was not one of her choice ; but she was so
well brought np, so reaolately obedient to
the will of her parents, that she did not
oblige me to eek a question whioh I grime -
how feared might receive the answer it has
publicly got this day, . which perhaps on
that very account I did not put to her.
" Under these circumstances, it remains
for me es' a man of years, whose honorable
intentions where above suspicion, to release
you from any obligation ander which you
might feel yourself towards me,and to
beg that if my name be ever mentioned in
your family it may not be with !Seething
and distane, but with pity and respect.
Adieu,"
i" Noble man 1" I exoleimed ; nmol in my
impetuouaiby I was about to wring him by
the handein a transport ofgeneroueadmir.
ation, when he looked at me with a haughti-
nese that thrilled 08 well AB ohooked any
forward movement on my part, and paid,
"I have not the honor of your acquaint•
enoe, and it is fortunate for you, inaamuoh
as, had I that privilege, I would certainly
melteun uea otof it,""
the
Stquick, I said, addressing
the marquis, "Pray, air, inform *hie gen-
tleoian that I am at his servioe, seeing that
hie visit to my rooms on an errand which
concerned himself only wee an aoquaiut-
anoe thrust upon me, which X never
desired."
" AS rodm,
please," replied the want, and
t s all in turn
left the bowing o u , and
a
receiving our own bows in answer,
„" Come to my arms, my child," paid the
old marquis, "and receive my apology for
having ignored the real oharaoter of my
own daughter." He embraoed hor over and
over again, and sent her aoross to her
mother, who had been apeeohtess all the
while, and was sobbing as if she would
never cease.
" Mon enfant," said the marquis to me,
" we are not accustomed to Scenes like this
in our country ; bat to novel scenes novel
measures must be adapted. What are your
wishes now 2"
" Sir, I have not asked Mademoiselle
Diane in so many words to marry me," I
<said, attempting a smile ; "bat T think our
hearts have spoken. That generous count
has deft us free, and, obeying the custom of
France, I respectfully ask your permission
to woo and win the hand of the girl I love "
" I shall reply," eaid the margais, " as
they do in England. What does my
daughter say 2 "
For an answer, Diane, who had heard
the conversation, left her mother, and
running up to me, oried, "Oai, oui 1" in so
childish a manner that the marquis re-
marked,
" I think this time there is no fear of the
ceremony being interfered with, or of the
mayor stopping proceedings. Go, both of
you, and ask the blessing and eanotion of
la marquise."
She was too much moved to say any-
thing, but acquiesced silently in all her
husband's wishes and those of her daugh-
ter.
It was evident that Diane's gentleness
oome from her mother, and her spirit
from her father.
" We cannot remain here forever," at
last remarked the marquis ; "let ns go
home ; and as my girl came here as a
fiancee, she moat not return otherwise
Take her arm and aid her to the carriage."
I did so, through a line of friends who
had stayed behind to hear the denouement
or end of this affair, maybe to carry gossip
abroad—some, perhaps, to grieve or rejoice
for and with us ; and such is the power of
snooess, that when they saw Diane and
myself walking down the steps of the
Mairie, happiness and smiles beaming on our
countenances, they raised a load " Five les
nouveaux maries 1" forgetful that we were
Rot yet nan and wife.
(To be Continued)
The Reporter's Enterprise.
Nebraska State Journal: A gentleman
was complaining bitterly of the look of
enterprise shown by the local papers in
printing the news. " The reporters never
eeem to get onto anything nowadays," he
growled. " I don't suppose that any of
them heard a word about the slugging that
a prominent capitalist gave a leading
banker at the Windsor Hotel last Sunday. "
A newspaper men in the employ of the
Nebr aka State Tournal in hearing gave
arra ar roe that he was in fall possession of
the faote:
" Then why didn't your print the story 2"
demanded the stern oritio.
," Do yon believe that such things should
be printed 7"
Why, of course !" with a scornful
snort. " Of comae 1 That ie what the
papers are for. I wouldn't suppress any-
thing if I was running a paper."
The newspaper man took out his note-
book and made an entry of the name of the
critic.
" What's that for 2" demanded the gen-
tlemen.
" To pall on yon the next time you get
into trouble like yon did islet March and
oome around and want the papers to hush
it up. See 7"
A dark brown silence fell on the group.
In a moment the critic lifted his voice.
" As soon as yon erase my name," eaid
he, " I will move an adjournment to the
oigar stand."
The Live Man Advertises.
Harrisburg (Pa.) Call : Nothing delights
wide-awake, energetic advertisers so much
as to get into a locality where those in
business are too penurious or indifferent
to make use of the newspapers, and when
they do, there are both profit and amuse.
ment in store for them. There is no safe-
guard like a local newspaper. Nothing can
do more to keep up a town and help
business ; and merchants, above all, should
give them the preference. Yet frequently
the only return the papers get for their
enterprise is depreciation from those whom
they have benefited both directly and in-
direotly. Aa long all this is the ease news-
papers' will be prone to welcome newcomers
in the field, even it their visits are brief.
The Fashion in Verse.
New York Herald':
Now everypoot points his pen to make a ladder
Verse,
And sings in steps hie phantasy of blies,
But I beg that you'll excuse me if I ask in accents
terse,
What's
the
mat-
ter
with
a
this?
like
plan
W111 the Aldermen Attend to This ?
lkfuncey's Weekly : Philanthropist —
Don't yon pity the poor men who have
to work with picks and shovels on the
street ?
Cynio—I do, indeed. I am thinking of
circulating a petition in their behalf and
then presenting it to the Mayor.
Phlenthropiat-What do you wish to
have granted to them ?
Cynio—I will petition that all the curb,
atones be cushioned for their benefit.
A Colloquy,
" You're always fall of news," said the
Letter to the Box.
I'm clad yon dropped in," replied the
Box; " I'll keep you posited."
" What nnoleanil. - people theyseem to
be out West," said Tdre DeLito of Boston'
" ero is acase of a man starting in to
Olean out a town, and they actually shot
him."
The laying of the foundationsfor the new
Victoria College building will probably be
commenced his fall.
Amy—You have a good heart, Jack, but
you have't much of a head. Jack—Oh,
you ehonld have seen it when I got np this
morning .
track --And did Miss Sweetfgnres smile
neon your snit ? dim -Smile 1 She did
more—ehe laughed at it
Tliiisl5S.
The Main Fait of Them Lies Under the
Ground.
Yes, says Dr. Holmes in the Atlantic, a
tree is an underground creature with its
tail, in the air. All its intelligence is in ite
roots, Think what sagacity it shows in its
searoh after food and. drink. Somehow or
other the rootlets, whiah are its tentaoles,.
filed out that there is a brook at a moderate
distanoe from the trunk of the tree, and
they make for it with all their might.
They find every crack in the rocks where
there are a few grains of the nourishing
substance they ogre for, and insinuate
tbemaelvee into its deepest recesses. When
spring and summer come they let their
tails grow, and delight in whisking thern.
about in the wind, or lotting them be
whisked about by it ; for these tails are poor
passive things with very little will of their
own, and bend in whatever direction the
wins chooses to make them.
The leaves make a deal of noise whisper -
bag. I have sometimes thought I could
nnderetend them as they talked with each
other, and that they seemed to think they
made the wind as they wagged forward and
bank. Remember what I say. The next
time you see a tree waving in the wind
recollect that it is the tail of a great under•
ground, many armed, polypus like creature
which is as proud of its caudal appendage,
eepeoially in summer -time, as a peacock is
of his gorgeous expanse of plumage. Do
you think there is anything so very odd
about the idea 2 Onoo get it well into your
heads, and yon will find it renders the land.
scope wonderfully interesting. There are
as many kinds of tree -tails as there are
tails to doge and other quadrupeds. Study
them as Daddy Gilpin stndiea them in his
" Forest Scenery," but don't forget that
they are only the appendage of the under-
ground vegetable polypus, the trite organ-
ism to which they belong.
One of !Navy.
" Say," called out the ebarp•featured
woman, " do yon warrant these musk.
melons to be ripe ?"
" We do, madam," said the groper.
" Well, I went to get one."
" In a moment, ma'am. Just as soon as
I tie np this—"
" I'm in a hurry. If yon can't wait on
me just say eo and I'll go to some other
store."
" Excuse me just a moment," the grocer
Said to the customer he had been waiting
on. " Now, ma'am, I'll be happy to —"
" Yon say you warrant them ?"
" Yee."
" How much is this one 7"
" Forty cents."
" My `'land 1 I can get 'em like that
over here at Hamilton's for 25."
" I think not, ma'am. Bat we have
them all prices from 40 Dents down to 5-"
" Take 20 Dente for this one ?"
" Couldn't do it, ma'am."
" How would you sell three like this 2"
" They world cost yon half a dollar."
" Sure they're ripe ?"
" If they're not they won't cost yon any-
thing."
" Well, they oughtn't to. You make profit
enough on 'em anyhow."
" I make about 60 cents on the entire lot,
ma'am. Did yon say you would take those
three ? '
" No, I didn't. I don't believe they're
ripe."
' I aesare you, ma'am, they are all ripe."
(To the other customer) • " I'll be there in
just a moment." (To the sharp -featured
woman) : " I'll let yon have the three for
45 cents. That's exactly cost."
" M'm 1" mused the woman. " Yon'say
yon warrant them 2"
" We do."
" Won't take 45 cents for these four, I
reckon 2"
" Couldn't possibly do it, ma'am. That's
less than cost."
" Wouldn't sell these five for 10 cents
apiece?"
" Would be glad to oblige you, but I
couldn't let them go at that."
" nt take this 5•oent one. Here's
a 85 bill. It's the least I've got Give me
the change as quick as you can."
Yet people wonder why gropers have a
bald spot on top of the head and contrilente
so little to the support of foreign missions.
—Pittsburg Dispatch.
Get Shoes After Noon.
The best time to get fitted to shoes ie in
the latter part of the day. The feet then
are at their moximnm of size and sensitive -
nese. Activity measurably enlarges them.
When the muscles are in play the flow of
blood in the arteries is int/reseed and the
joints also ; consequently they are more
tender. Even gravity affects the venous
circulation, so that etanding on the feet
alone tends to enlarge these members. It
is gravity that produces varicose veins in
the legs and feet of persona of relaxing
fibre who are required to be mach in the
erect position. Hence when healthy per-
sons lie down at night their feet, being
relieved from the weight of the body,
resume their normal size. Try on the new
'shoes with moderately thick stookinge, too,
and yon then have a margin of room by
putting on thinner ones when the feet are
ill at ease. For tender feet fit them late in
the day with the aid of heavy stockings,
and the next morning, glad in thinner
stockings, those feet will rest in the neve,
almost as comfortably as they would in
old, shoes.—Herald of health.
He Admired System.
Boston Transcript : First City Father—
Here'e a fine-looking street.
Second City Father—You're right there.
What's best to be done with it ?
" Let's have it dug np for a sewer."
" Bat wouldn't it be proper to pave it
first ?"
"Of course. I supposed yon understood
that. Then, after it is paved and a Bower
put in we'll have it repaved."
"All in readiness to be dug np again for
the gas -pipe. I see yon nnderetend the
principles of municipal eaonomy. And
after we have had it repaved a second time,
then what 2"
" Well then, it will be in order for widen-
ing. There'd nothing I admire so much se
system in the care and improvement of our
roadways."
Frightful to Contemplate.
Every time a cow moves her tail to
switch a fly she exerts a force of three
ponnde. In the course of the summer a
single cow wastes 5,000,000 ponnde of
energy. The cows of America throw away
power enough to move every piece of
machinery in the world. This is exclusive
of kicking milkmaids off the stools.—Detroit
Free Press.
---After Mies RRnby Lips had been kissed
in the American way by a swarm of her
feminine acgcaintancee when she got back
here from London she spoke of it to a con-
fidential friend with a demure face. "I
like," she eaid, " the oaoulatory habits of
English women, who when they kiss eaoh
other, do it on the oheek, or on both cheeks,
not on the gates ajar." -•-New York Sun.
The Tam O'Shantor of velvet with an
eagle's quill on the side is 'worn with the
tartan costumer,
1PE()ULIAR INF.ATUATIOI4'.,
Dtii'ereut Methods of Fallowing the Irdtuts—
tion "°Loge One Another,'
Do Alen ever fall in love with each other?
Women do. Not long ago a young woman
in New Jersey was married to a youthful,.
laborer on her father's farm. Sometime
afterward it was discovered that the hus-
band was a female;. the young wife refused,
however, though earnestly entreated by
her friends, to dive np hor chosen coneort-
The strangest part oe the discovery was the
fact that the bride knew her husband wast
a woman before she was led to the altar.
It men do not exhibit this strangeinfatu-
ation for one of their own sex, they at least
oftentimes give evidence of the fact that
they love one another. There are many'
instances on record where one man has
given his life foranother. 'There are many
more instances where men have given life
to another.
It is a proud possession—the knowledge
that one has saved a precious human life..
Meriden, Conn., is the home of such a
happy man. John H. Preston, of that city.
July 11th, 1890, writes; "Five years ago
I war taken•very siok, I had several of the
best doctors, and one and all called it a
complication of diseases. I was sick four
years, taking presoriptions presoribed by
these same dootors, and I truthfully state l
never expected to get any better. At this
time, I commenced to have the most
terrible pains in my back. One day an old
friend of mine, Mr. R. T. Cook of the firer
of Curtis & Cook, advised me to try War-
ner' Safe Cure, as he had been troubled the
same way and it had effected a cure for
him. I bought six bottlee, took the medi-
cine as directed, and am to.daya well man.
I am sure no one ever had a worse case of
kidney and liver trouble than I had. Before
this I wee always against proprietary
medicines, but not now., oh, no.
Friendship expresses itself in very
peculiar ways sometimes; but the true:
friend is the friend in need.
Men Are Liars.
Detroit Free Press : The other night,
after the thunder shower, Jones dropped in
on a neighbor and found a dozen people
assembled.
o Well, well, you look cheerful after stuck
e olose call," growled Jones aa he removed
his hat.
" What close call 7"
" Why, lightning strnok the barn in the
alley not a hundred feet away-"
" Oh, dear," said one of the women, " but
I knew it. One of my arms has been numb
ever since."
" And it affected my foot," eaid an-
other.
" And it set my heart to palpitating."
" And my elbow ball felt queer ever
since:"
Every one in the room remembered ter
have been shocked, and every one wac
thankful over the narrow escape.
By and by a boy, who had been thinking
deeply, gushed out:
" Why, there is no barn in the alley f"
Amid the deepest silence everybody re-
membered this Not, and the boy climbed
it with :
" And how could there be, when there ia
no alley 7"
Jones had lied, but so hod ail the others.
Not to be Caught.
New York Sun: A man about 55 years
old, accompanied by hie eon, a boy of 14,
was waiting for a train in the Grand
Central depot the other day, when a mart
on the same benoh, who had been reading
a paper, folded it np and asked :
" Has the McKinley Bill affected yore
neighborhood any 2"
" The what ?"
" The McKinley Bill. How does it
strike you 2"
The old man didn't knowanything about
the bill and he was fishing around for a
reply, when the boy called out :
" Father, you keep still. He wants you
to say it etrikee you good or bad, and then
he'll call you a liar and offer to fight both
of ne 1"
Didn't Like the Text.
London Society Tones: A very good.
story is now going the rounds of the prime
about a certain oantakerons old clergyman
who had so much difficulty with hie flock
that finally he resigned. On his last ,
Sunday he preached a farewell sermon,
choosing for his text the words, " I go to
prepare a place for you, so that where E
am ye may be also." There was not a
word in the sermon to which any one could
object; but the text made the oongregatioa
furious, for it was well known that he had
applied for end obtained the Chaplainoy of
a large penitentiary.
He was a Lily, He Was.
" tell yon, Bill," said tramp number
one," yon are a daisy."
" No, Tim." returned Bill, " I'm a lily,
for I toil not, neither do I spin, nor was
ever Solomon in all hie glory clad as your
see me now. I'm a lily, Tim, a lily."
" No," she said, " not another One."
"Just one more," he pleaded. "Impossible,"
she said firmly. " That is—well—the rise
in tariff has not affected the stook now on
hand, I enppose."
THE FALL ENGAGEMENT. _.
The wife who wears a sealskin sacque
Will softly now her lord attaegne,
And coax and tease
And melt and freeze
Until she conquers him, alacque.
For when ebo starts on her campaign
She makes her purpose very plaign,
And ne'er relents
Till ho consents,
And then she sweetly smiles agaign.
Chicago Post
The Japanese Government is having cone
strained at the yards of the Mesere. James
and George Thomson, Clydebank, Scotland,
a moat efficient cruiser, to be known as the
Chiyoda.
TnE heresy scandal in the Honeywood
district of the Methodist Church is exoitin
a good deal of interest. Rev. James
Thompson, the minister in question, is said
to be a genial fellow, a hard worker and a
popular preacher. Mr. Thompson frankly
admite the charges and offers no defence,
unless it be that he believes his views are
soripturel, and thinks some of them are in
harmony with the teaobings of the Meth•-
odist Church. The text of the sermon that
caused the trouble eves Romans ii. 7 : " To
them that by patient continuance in wen
-
doing seek for glory and honor and immor-
tality, eternal life." The heretical chargee
are based on the following statements
made in the sermon : " First, that man
was only conditionally immortal, and that
by the fall Adam lost immortality, and
consequently all the race as his ohildren
ere without it ; second, that God alone
possessed immortality; third, that even.
Christ himself had been created somewhere
in the remote past, he knew, not how far
back ; fourth, that immortality might be
obtained by seeking for it by patient con-
tinaanoe in well -doing,"
—Twine within the year has Jay Goold
refused to serve on a jury, and each time
he has been fined 8100. The World says
that next year, owing to the high tariff,
Mr. Gould will try to get along with One
retool,