HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Exeter Advocate, 1890-10-30, Page 33
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England's sovereign* In Verse.
21ortNe4 .Ifinga,
W1111am the tkelq wenn long net n,
William, hie SOU, barrow y au aow wee elate.
Flonry the firm; WASto scholar bright
Htepben as Ewa ryithout any xigbi
w ,
Pdantagovq.
Henry the Socerul; Planta. genet's' eoion,
Richard the 1 net, t vitae as brave as a lion.
John, thdugh rt t'yrati , the oharter'eigned,
Henry the Third lied a ,veaklymind,
Edward the First eenqueredCambrfa'sdales,
Edward the setuttri w,os born Priuee of Wales,
1]dwerdthe 'TItiril41114bled France izrite pride,'
Richard the deo:s i in prison died,
Ilauye of Lau aster.
Henry the, Fourth for himself took the 'Drown.
Henry the Fifth pulled the French King down.
Henry the Sixth lost Me father's gates.
Homo of Tialot.
Edward of 'York laid hold of the retne,
Edward the Filth was killed with his brother.
Richard the Third soon made way for another.
Henry the Seven1,11 ase frugal of means,
Henry the Fig},tth hada groat many Queens,
lidward the Sixth refortnation began
Cruel Queen Mary prevented the plan.
Wise and pie:Weeci were Elizabeth's aims;
Stuart Lino"
England and t;ootlaod were joined by King
James,
Charles found the pesple a gruel corrector.
Oliver Cromwell wcs est lodLord Protector.
Charles the See:AM was hid iu au oak.
,Tames the Second cook popery's yoke.
William and Mary were offered the throne,
Annie succeeded, and roigued alone.
Hanovoricin 7 hefts.
.George the Feet froth Hanover Dame,
George the Second kept up the name.
.George the Third was loved in the land.
-George the Fourth was polite and grand.
'William the Fourth lied no heir of his own,
-80 Queen Victoria a:tceuded the throne.
Jilin Was Satisfied.
.VBuffalo Notes
Everytbing pleased our neighbor Jim
When it rained
110 never complained,
.,Bat said wet weather suited Lem,
" There ie nc v, e tau couch rain for me,
And this is semi'tluisg ate," said be.
When earth was dry at a powder mill,
IiI did not sigh
bt c ,.use it wan dry,
ant said it he eau ,t have his will
It would be his chief supreme delight
a To live whore the cuu shone day and night.
When winter came with its snow and ice,
He slid noseoo1dl
Because it was cold,
LBnt said : " New this is real nice ;
If ever from home I'tu forced to go,
1'11 move up North with the Esquimau."
A cyclone whirled along its track ;
And did him harm—
It broke hie arm,
And stripped the coat from off his bank ;
" And 1 would give another limb,
To see such a blow again," said Jim.
And when at Icugth his years were told,
And hie body bent
And his strength all spent,
And Jim wal vory weak and old ;
" I long have wanted to know," he said,
" How it feels te die," and Jim was dead.
'The angel of death had summoned him
To heaven, or—well,
• I cannot tell;
But I knew that the climate suited Jim ;
And cold or hot, it mattered not—
It was to him the long -sought spot.
The Baby.
Buffalo News :
Ono little head of yellow hair,
Two little checks eo round and fair,
Two little lips with fragrant sighs,
One little nose and two blue eyes.
Two little hancla as soft as a peach,
Two little feet with five toes each,
Two little smiles and two little tears,
Two little legs and two little ears,
Two little elbows and two little knees,
One little grunt and one little sneeze,
One little heart, but no little sins,
Plenty of skirt and lots of pins,
One little cloak and plenty of frocks,
One little hood and two little socks,
Ono little stomach that's never full,
A big disposition to haul and to pull,
One little mouth of the rose's tint,
One little bottle et peppermint,
Plenty to oat and lots to wear—
And yet this baby is cross as a bear.
i'Tow to Advertise.
Printers' Ink : The Detroit Journal has
joined the pr000ssion of newepapers which
are trying to edaoate their patrons in the
art of advertising, and thus indirectly
advance their own interest. Every day it
prints at the head3, of its editorial page a
few pithy sentences, of which the following
is an example
WHY A FAILURE?
Tho prime object of all advertising is to
&ttract attention to the thing advertised.
No matter how valuable the thing itself, or
how interesting the annonnmement, if
attention is not secured the insertion is a
teilare.
Not only meet attention be secured, but
it mast be the attention of those who deal
in the wares advertised. No matter how
many people see the announcement, if
dealers in or purohaeers of that particular
kind of goods do not see the insertion, it le
a failure',
Edison's pop.
This is the story A pretty type -writer
girl sat at her machine playing a wind like
waltz over the keys, when a quiet, serious
man in a suit of overelle stepped up and
motioned her to stop. The small white
hands went down, tbo soft brown eyee were
raised, and to their enquiring look he
naked Will you be my wife? I haven't
any time for courtship and that kind of
stuff. If you want to get married, say so,
and I'll treat you well." A wave of soarlet
pleased over the lovely brunette faoe, the
eyes dropped and a very sweet voice said :
" I would like to think it over." " How
long?" "This evening." She thought about
it, thought affirmatively, and to -day she is
Mrs. Thomas Edison.
Willing to be a substitute.
In a city school vicarious punishment is
permitted, a big boy taking the whipping of
a small boy. The other day a lad was to
be pnniehed and the teacher asked if there
was a substitute. There was, but he ex-
pressed his willingness only on condition
that the teacher's "snake" vyoald take it
along with hon. The boys tittered over
the lad's blunt expression. By " soaks '
he meant those who were suspected to be
the teacher's favorites and who were never
called upon to endure hardness --Kingston
Whig.
]run Among the Clouds.
New York Herald : "I'm no coward,"
paid the Earth,
"No but you have two great foam,"
,observed the Sun, hotly.
•" And they ?"
The hemis beres."
" p
You vo forgotten the atmosphere," put
tin the Moon. And the Comet wagged his
ail with joy.
Ask the Spectator.
Judge Young mother --What ought e
'baby's food to be, Dr. Chargem
Elootor-Nothing but the milk from one
cow.
Young mother,—rind I believe you said
the mother onght to take four or five fresh
egge every day,
Do0t0r
—Yes.
niothee •Well dootor, should they
Young V
1)0 eggs'. from one hen ?
COMMITTED TO EARTH;
°losing Oeremoniee of Mrs, Booth's
Interment•
1 GREAT TIME IN LONDON.
All da longSalvationists from various
parte of GreaBritain and the Continent
p � u.
came pouring into London. All the early
morning trains ware loaded with them,
einging, shouting and praying in publio,
after the manner of their organization. At
2 o'clock thie afternoon, 20,000 of them
were swarming about Olympia, which,
next to the immense maohinery hall et the
Paris exhibition, ie believed to contain the
largest area under a single roof.
Though the funeral service did not begin
till 6 the doors were thrown open at 4, and
by 5.30 15,000 people, meetly women, were
seated in the immense auditorium. Every-
thing inside was pretty mnoh as during the
time of Bernnm's °irons. The mammoth
glace roof was decorated with gaudy
streamers, and the galleries were 'adorned
with huge Japanese fans and umbrellas in
gorgeous colors.
TILE SCENE AT OLYl1PIA.
Catchpenny booths, refreshment bars,
inappropriate placards and numerous other
things which detracted from the solemnity
of the occasion were allowed to remain till
within two minutes of 6 o'olook, The plane
had the appearance of a country fair. Men
and women strolled about hawking tea and
coffee, buns, sandwiches and whiskey,
which were greedily purchased by the
hungry and thirsty people. Hundreds of
boys went about the building trying to sell
portraits of the dead woman, copies of her
writing, innumerable tracts, copies of the
War Cry, till the place was a perfect pande-
monium. A braes band of 600 pieties played
tune atter tune, scarcely pausing for rest,
till the din was deafening.
But promptly at the minute of 6 all this
changed as if by magic. The doors were
shut up, the refreshment bars were closed,
the hawkers wore suppressed and 15,000
Salvationists fixed their eyes on a weak -
looking little man with a baton, who
mounted the dais just in front of the
colossal brass bend. He lifted hie baton
and instantly every voice was hushed.
At thie point the wonderful discipline of
the Salvation Army began to be apparent.
The man who direoted the ceremonies
never spoke a work except to five men who
were near him. These men hauled up huge
painted signs which were worked on
pulleys and which told the people hundreds
of yards away, quite out of resole of the
human voice, when to sing end when to
bow in silent prayer, when to rise and when
to kneel. Everybody present had a copy
of the Bongs and words of the liturgy, and
everything moved like olock-work.
The conductor had simply to lift his
baton and the vast audience was either
hushed in silence or singing in wonderful
unison. Everybody sang and the vast
volume of sound seemed as though it would
life the roof off. After several prayers and
hymns the faneral procession entered the
building, In the front rank of the proces-
sion were the officers of the Salvation Army
from various parts of Great Britain. These
were followed by men and women bearing.
Salvation Army fleas of all nations, the
Stars and Stripee, the Union Jack, the
German and French Trioolore and the
Cresoent from the Orient. Almost every
nation where the Salvation Army has
gained foothold was represented by men
and women in costumes charaoterietio of
their locality. , These people were pic-
turesquely grouped on a raised platform
around the band.
THE COFFIN BORNE IN.
There was a pause of a few moments and
then a plain oak coffin came in eight, borne
by twelve men dressed in red jerseys. All
the Salvation women in the building
sobbed and shrieked. Many of them were
carried out in a dead faint to the ante-
rooms. Mrs. Booth had ineisted that her
coffin should be as plain as her Salve•
tion Army bonnet. It could have been
bought for $7. Immediately following
the coffin was Gan. Booth, who walked
with tottering steps, his face buried in his
hands. Over his shoulders was drooped
the Salvation Army flag which hung over
11Srs. Booth's bed when she died.
After the coffin had been placed in a
position where the thousands "of eyes could
look upon it and Gen. Booth and the mem-
bore of hie family had taken their planes
on the platform, the services proceeded.
Hymns were sung and prayers said in per-
fect unison, all prearranged by the woman
who was lying there in her coffin, and all
guided by the men who worked the printed
signs on the pulleys.
General Booth and bis children clustered
around the coffin, and they sang the iden-
tical hymn which they sang around Mrs.
Booth's death -bed. This song was the
signal for thousands of sobbing women to
rush for the coffin, and to prostrate them-
selves in the sawdust. Thera was no sham
about it. It was all hysteria devotion to
the little woman who was literally the
mother of their army.
After the building was cleared the coffin
was removed and prepared for the inter-
ment tomorrow. This will afford an
equally marvellous spectacle.
A count by the doorkeepers shows that
24,000 people found Beate in the Olympia
last night, while 4,000 more were admitted
to find standing room as best they could.
This is our times the number that West•
minister Abbey will hold, and three times
as many as can be placed within hear-
ing at St. Panne Cathedral.
The long prooeseion which followed the
coffin was made up of men and women of
the working olase. The throng in the
streets was enormous. Time and again
the crowd outside the Army's headquarters
made a determined rush, but the police
gallantly held their own. The police were
reinforced, the fog drew denser, and above
all resounded the crash of Salvation Army
bands. Banners were but dimly discerned.
As the head of the column _ emerged
through the fog _ and approaohed the
headquarters of the Army a tremendous
cheer, was raised. Then ensued
a fearfnl crash, in which it was long doubt-
ful whether the police would be able to
keep control over the crowd whioh behaved
in the roughest manner possible. The
victory was decided in their favor by the
arrival of a small body of mounted polies.
All efforts to keep clear a space in front of
the hearse were, however, futile. In the
straggle which followed this attempt of the
police to keep.a pathway clear several
persons were inured, and the ambulanoe'
was celled into requisition.
For nearly an hour Salvation Army
officers, men and women in the well-known
dress, filed past their headquarters, headed
by their district bands, playing selections
from Salvation hymnology. A hymn was
covered and then the coffin, with a
red pall, on which rested the deceased
woman's bonnet badge, was borne on the
shoulders of the ohief of ioars to the hearse,
reverently deposited there, amid a cry of
" hats off I" from the crowd. This request
was at once complied with amid reepeottnl
silence. Then a loud cheer greeted the
General as, bareheaded, he took his place
alone in the ohief mourner's carriage.
Gen. Booth looked wan and haggard, but
stood up and acknowledged the ealutee of
the onlookers. He was followed by the
female members of the family, who were
all respootfully greeted, but the appearange
on a fair-haired individual clad in the flow-
ing robes and turban of an Arab sheik
bestriding a restive horse was too mnoh
for a London orowd, and the pseudo
Oriental was made the recipient of con-
siderable chaff. At the spent ple of an
utterly impossible Salvation
Highlander all
ambli noe of gravity
inns thrown to the
winds, and roars of laughter followed hard
upon the wake of the hearse. More bandit,
more Salvationists, and then a strong body
of police brought up the rear of this re-
markable funeral pageant.
At the cemetery the fog was so dense
that only a few people gathered around
the grave could see or hear the ceremony.
Gen; Booth continued to make a few fare-
well remarks without breaking down. The
body was lowered into the grave and this
altogether remarkable funeral service was
over.
AN EASY 11IAN TO HANG.
He Cheered up the Sheriff and Saved
Time on the Gallows.
AMorris, Ill., despatoh sap;: James Max.
wen was hanged at 10.47 this morning for.
the murder of Charles Deaker in June last.
He died apparently the most unoonoerned
man in the town of Morris. The murder
WW1 the result of Maxwell and a negro
being discovered about midnight on June
15th by Decker in the lattor's house for the
purpose of robbery. Decker was killed by
blows from a hatchet. Last night when
the sheriff showed some evidences of trope
dation at the task before him, Maxwell
said :
"Brace up, old man. Yon are much
more troubled about this than I em."
He slept well and ate breakfast w?th
apparent relish this morning. His
spiritual advisers received a severe shook
this morning when they went in to admin.
ister the last words of consola-
tion to him. An enterprising re-
porter had been before them, in the
guise of a minister, with the idea of getting
an interview. When the newspaper man
began to question him as to his spiritual
welfare Maxwell threw off the religions
mask which he had hitherto worn and
drove bis visitor from bine with a string of
curses of the most profane sort.
When the sheriff began to read the death
warrent in a trembling voice Maxwell inter-
rupted with :
' Stop that gab, Shroeder, and let us
get through this thing as soon as possi-
ble."
His wish was complied with and he was
at once conducted to the gallows. A brie
prayer was offered, the prisoner's arms and
lege were pinioned and the noose adjusted.
The sheriff asked Maxwell it he had any.
thing to say. His reply was a complaint
that the sheriff had put a window in the
shanty in which the execution took place
so that the crowd odeside could see him.
The sheriff then oat the cord and the body
fell. In six minutes Maxwell was pro-
nounced dead.
Just before leaving his cell Maxwell
handed the sheriff a big knife, telling him
that he might have killed himself a half-
dozen times if he had wanted to.
Scottish News Notes.
The attendance since the opening of
Edinburgh Exhibition now exceeds two
millions.
Mr. Stormonth Darling is, it is said, to
take as his judicial title Lord Sednathie,
from his father's estate in Fifeshire.
At a meeting of Glasgow Presbytery on
the let inst., a letter °vas read from Rev.
Dr. Hately Waddell, of the Trades Hall,
resigning bis charge, owing to advanoing
years.
The Duke of Cambridge on the 2nd inst.
reviewed the troops garrisoned in Edin-
burgh district in splendid weather. He
also visited the exhibition in the afternoon,
and the Forth Bridge.
An Irish laborer, named James Kane,
was on the night of the let inst., stabbed to
the heart in Hunter's Close, Grassmerket,
Edinburgh, by an Italian, whose name is
supposed to be Gaiseppe Calacicoo.
On Friday Earl Rosebery was presented
with the freedom of the oity of Glasgow.
The aontemplated festivities on the oc-
casion had to be curtailed owing to the
serious illness of Lady Roseberry, from
typhoid fever.
The Qaeen of Roumania has been visit-
ing Queen Victoria at Balmoral, and has
returned to London quite enchanted both
with the Queen and her Highland home.
On returning to Roumania she intends
writing a poem about her visit to
Balmoral.
Cable to Australia.
It is a stupendous project, that of a enb.
ocean cable from Vancouver to Sydney,
8;900 miles, with intermediate land stations
at convenient islande. It is less stupend-
ous, however, than the original Atlantic
cable, and mach more aertain to be an
accomplished fact. One importance such
o cable would have to Great Britain is that
it would render her independent lines
through Europe, in an emergency affsoting
her Indian and Australian dependencies.
The cost of the amble is placed at $9,000,000,
and a Government guarantee of $270,000
per annum at a 3 per cent. rate on the cost
is asked for.
They All Do It.
Life : Aunt Kate (severely)—Penelope, I
saw Tom Barry kiss you last evening. Yon
should not let him do so until you are
engaged, at least.
Penelope—Oh, he says that all the girls
let him.
McKinley on the Brain.
Indianapolis Journal : Wickwire --I hear
yon have sworn of.
Mudge—Yep. It was beginning to effect
my mind. Every time I got a little full I
wanted to disown the tariff,
It Might
Brockville Recorder : Here in Brookville
there are a great many children roaming
the streets who ought to be attending
sohool. Would the appointment of a truant
officer remedy the evil ?
A Strong Dose.
Boohester Herald r Druggist—I yon
take this preparation of mine, you wil
never use any other. Customer—Ie it se
fetal se that ?
Never Gave it Away.
Dralcc's Magazine : " Give me a ginger
snap, please I" asked a little boy of a
baker.
,s
"
ted the latter. I
sir,"replied never
No, p
give a snap away."
There has been a decrease in losses from
fire in the United States and Oaneedo; for
the nine menthe ended September 30th of
$1
708 705 as compered with the
firstt
nine months in 1889. The fire losses, for
the month of September were e6,948,700.
$ QLERIJAL SCOUNDREL
Sentenced to Jflve Year- for Abduoting and
Debauching a Toting
A New York 'deepatoh says : Albert F.
Vedder, formerly pastor of a prosperous
Presbyterian Church at West Milton,
Saratoga county, was arraigned in the
General Sessions, to be eentenoed for
abducting Mary Miliane, aged 15, of 254
West Thirtieth street. Vedder is of mid.
dle age. His brown hair and mouetaohe
are ourlod, and yesterday nis rou d, rosy
faoe was well shaven. Hie eyes are large
and dark and his voice is sonorous, He
was dressed faehionabl and wore a earl
colored satin scarf, with an oddly shaped
jewelled pin shining amid its folds.
Vedder et the time of the abduction was
a dentist at 745 Sixth avenue. He adver-
tised for a girl to keep his office clean. He
asked Mary MoKene when he employed
her how old ehe was, and she said that
she was 15, and would be sixteen in March,
whereas the fact was, according to the
records of St. Patrick's Roman Catholio
Cathedral, where she was baptized, she
was 14 and would be 15 in March. In
July, when Vedder believed that Mary
Mo$ane was over 16, and therefore no
longer under the protection of the law, he
induced her to remain in hie office over
night.
Vedder began to read a letter to the
court explaining a previous charge of a
somewhat similar ohmmeter againet him,
and telling how he had built ap the ohnroh
of which he was pastor.
" That is about all that I have the
patience to listen to of this hypocritical
twaddle," interposed the recorder. " The
sworn evidence in this case shows that that
child was stainless until she went into your
employ, and you should not have the hardi•
hood, when you did not even dare to take
the stand in your own behalf, to attempt to
assail her now. And you confessed that
yon had wronged her to her mother, to the
police officer who arrested you, and to the
officers of the Society for the Prevention of
Cruelty to Children, and you offered to
make any atonement` in money that you
could. You also told Mra. MoKane that you
could not marry her daughter because you
were already married and had children, but
yon did not tell her that while yon were
enjoying this large and laorative businese,
and keeping young girls in your office to
protect you from blackmail, you were
allowing your wife, of whom I have heard
the very beet reports, to work as an ordin.
ary mill hand for wretched wages in the
northern part of this State to support her-
self and her children. I have only to say
to you that you are one of a most con-
temptible class of scoundrels. You are the
kind of a fraud and hypocrite that I detest
moat—the sanctimonious fraud' end hypo-
crite. This is your second shameful outrage
upon young womanhood, and you deserve
no clemency whatever. I sentence you to
State prison et hard labor for the term of
five years, the extreme penalty under the
law."
BOOTH'S GREAT SCHEME.
He Wants X1,000,000 to Set About Re-
generating the World.
A London cable eaye : Another topic of
disonesion is General Booth's book on
" Darkest England and the Way Ont,"
which appeared to -day. The work con-
tains 300 pages, devoted to the prodigious
echeme of relief from poverty, ignorance
and vice, in which the author contends is
submerged a tenth of the population. He
proposes to found a city colony for the
hungry and homeless of the metropolis,
who will be given work in labor yards and
factories, chopping wood, making mate,
sewing seeks, etc. In this connection will
be a household salvage brigade, which will
oolleot enough broken victuals, old clothes,
newspapers, etc., to support the refugees
and the rectories of the city colony. The
second feature is the farm colony, recruited
from the city colony, where the members
will again use the London salvage basis of
support. Immense piggeries will be estab•
tithed, led by retain matter. The pigswill
supply brush and b000nfaotories,bonebutton
works, grease and soap works, oto. There
will be second-hand clothes and boot
establishments, employing an army of
tailors and cobblers. Each man will build
hie own house or shanty. There will be no
public -houses. Finally, the General pro-
poses to found a foreign colony, recruited
from the other two. A tract of land will
be taken in South Africa, and the best
workers on the farm colony will be sent
there ; but they will be obliged to repay
the cost of transportation by their future
labor. General Booth wants £1,000,000 to
put his scheme in operation, and appeals
to the charitable to help him.
The Daily News, commenting on the
grand echeme for the regeneration of the
world proposed by Gen. Booth, confesses
that nothing men bo done for the eon's of
the millions until something is done for
their bodies. This scheme, it says, is one
of the most remarkable productions of the
age, and deserves to be allowed a fair trial.
The Chronicle says : " We are forced to
the conclusion that, as far as the lapsed
masses are concerned, the Gospel of
Christianity has lost in our day its power
and &term. When we consider her vast
resources Booth's project puts the State
Church in a very disagreeable position.
Gen. Booth, commander-in-chief of the
Salvation Army, speaking of the proposals
set forth in his book for the alleviation of
the physical d:stress of the masses before
close attention is paid to their moral and
spiritual wants, says be requires £1,000,000
to carry out the soheme.
The Times, commenting on Gen. Booth's
proposition, says : " The world may be
excused for feeling shy of hie proposals to
regenerate society. More serious than many
other objections to the plan is the one that
Gen. Booth himself appears to be the tor-
toise upon which the great system is to be
poised."
Wearing Shoes Alternately.
It is true economy for every person to
have several pairs of shoes, and to wear
them alternately. In the first place, by so
doing, oorna,and other soreness of the
members may bo to a considerable degree
avoided. These come from continuous
friotion or pressure at a certain point, and,
as no two pair of shoes " bear " on the
feet quite alike, the ohenge breaks up the
continuity and obviates • or prevents the
unpleasant result. Itis also better for the
shoes themeelvee, says Good Housekeeping.
Do not wear them in ordinary weather, if
the beet oervioe is desired, more than three
or four daye, or a week at most, before
giving them a chance to become thoroughly
dry. Many, if not most, feet emit sufficient
moietare to affect the shoe, giving it the
sticky, nnpleaeant feeling which is so
familiar, but to which we not often give re
second thought. Contrast this feeling with
that of a shoe which has been standing
unused for a week or a month, and notice
u.
how grdtofni the feeling of thorough dry-
nem
r y -nese rntbe last named. Perhaps the reader
never thought of that before.
The Alderman.
Boston ton HertaHertat If yon see anybody more
polite and affable than notal nowadays oak
t he's running aha for. He ie se oily
of yore.
TPJB r. '$I'3LFI G)OSm3'
,S kTOIf1i11 Lffi 71'iCleUT,
Ther. wan a young mac of groat weight
Who lingo: ed too bong at the goigbt ;
The paint, all around, was fresh, and ho found.
His clothes Ina terrible steigbt.
—R' ---How closely you •
resealble your
(tinter 1 Sbe—So everybody saps. He,
onthneiastioally—And what a hand tome
girl else is 1
The very wide tremens the dude joys to wear
Occasion observingfolk dread
Since 10 a high wind there are those who declare
They'll be blown o'er the poor fellow'e head.
--Minister—YOU ought to whip your boy
for fishing on the Sabbath. Deacon—I in-
tend to, sir; bub T thought I'd let him clean
them first.
—Q ueen Victeria'afortune was increased
to the extent of nearly $500,000 last year
throneli she " Crown's share of estates
that have reverted,
—About 200 letters are miel,vid or mis -
carried every day neasuee of the identity of
thenamethe " I • ,
of .tate of Was z1n t n an d
o
6
the national capital.
—" Don't salaam, Theodore," wrote an
author in his novel, end the cruel oom-
poeitor made it appear thaely in cold type,
" Don't slam the door."
—The best advertising medium need not
necessarily have the Largest cumulation.
The persons who will patronize yon are the
ones that you want to reach.—Western
Banner.
The summer girt has disappeared,
The autumn girl is here ;
And when the tee gets on the streets
The fall girl will appear,
—The names of all the White Star
steamere end with " io," those of the
Cunarders with " ia," those of the German
mostly with " land," and those of Dutch
always with " dam."
I loved her through the summer time,
Through autumn sere and yellow,
In winter sang her grace in rbyme—
In spring—oh woeful,einful mune—
She wed another fellow.
They Learned Something.
Three men stood together on Monroe
avenue yesterday. All were sweating and
mopping. It was hot -awful hot.
" I've got to have a glue of beer to cool
off on," remarked one. " You fellows have
some ?"
' You bet," promptly replied one.
" Excuse me," said the other, who was a
doctor. " Now, then, let mo show you some-
thing. You, Tom, let me feel your pulse.
Now, you, Henry. Now, then, Tom, get
your beer."
All three entered a saloon. While Tom
was drinking his beer the doctor seated
Henry in a chair and gave him a fan. At
the end of five minutes Tom joined them,
saying :
"A•h-b, but that touches the spot 1 I
feel cooler."
"Do yon?" quern -ft the doctor. " Your
pulse hee increased just eight beats to the
minute, while Henry's eareasedsix,making
a difference of fourteen in his fever. Wait
a bit.
It wasn't over three minutes before
Henry laid down the fan, feeling cool
enough, while Tom palled out his handker-
chief and said:
" For heaven's sake, let na get out of this
or I shall roast 1 I'm wet all over."
"There's the case I want to make out,"
said the dootor. "You are far warmer
than before, and will be for an hoar to
Dome. Our friend here has last his thirst
and is cool enongh for a foot rape."—De-
troit Free Press.
Birdcall and His Autobiography.
With lees than a month to live John
Reginald Birohall is spending the greater
part of his time in writing an autobiography.
He calculates it will take about a hundred
printed pages, book form, and estimates
the manuscript to be worth 32,000. Several
papers are negotiating for the work, but it
is not probable that any publisher would be
foolish enough to pay 32,000 for it. The
proceeds will be left to his widow. The
New York Police Gazette, World, Sun,
Toronto Mail, and other papers are nego.
tinting with the prisoner for the history of
his life, but no bargain has been closed as
yet.
Birchen continues to receive a very heavy
mail. About forty copies of " The Lord's
Dealings with the convict Daniel Mann,"
(who was hanged in Kingston penitentiary
several years ago) have been sent him with
many marked passages A lady in Parkhill
has sent him a book entitled " A Life in a
Look," with the request that Birohall shall
write her after he has read it. Other relig-
ious matter is received almost every mail,
but the prisoner does not take much interest
in this kind of literature. He prefers to
read English sporting papers.—Woodstock
Standard.
Single Lengths Would Do.
Buffalo News: Clerk—Anything else,
Madame. 1 can show you some great bar-
gains in Hammocks, put down to half price
on account of the lateness of the season.
They are fine goods, double length, and will
oome handy next summer, you know. '
Experienced Matron—Oh, the ordinary
kind will do for my daughter next sum-
mer. She's to be married Christmas.
Couldn't Find Her.
Elmira Gazette : City Engineer W.
Arthur McKinney purchased a 10 -cent
cigar yesterday, and when he had smoked
it about half way down he discovered a
full•fledged hair pin. Then he smoked the
whole thing to see if ho conl:ln't find the
girl, but Intik was against hint.
OCTOBER.
October is an arrant knave,
A coward, cringing, treaohcroue slave ;
A boasting Falstaff, weak in knees ;
Fair weather friend in days of ease
In days of want foul weather foe,
Jest where he ie you never know.
His solemn oaths are rudely broken,
Like dicers' oaths, as soon as spoken ;
The proof whereof is quickly told—
He's always blowing hot and cold.
At the dinner of the Iron and Steel
Institute of Great Britain, in New York on
Thursday, General Sherman thus wound
np a speech : " As to the remark by the
Chairman in hie opening epeeoh in regard
to our coming to your nseiatanoe in time of
peril, if such an Occasion should arise, I
think I may say that if there should be a
sbindy' going on, we might take inhaled in
it." (Applause.
GRI1lrl)Y BU? WEEK.,
A >t)ig (coop of Swindlers Made—Some
tiapadien Applicants.
*New York despatob gays : The Booiety
for the Suppreesion of Vice sa000eded on
Saturday in breaking np one of the meet
dangerous gangs of "green gods" men that
ever operated in this city. Two of the
prinoipale, who gave their name as Sam
Ward and Isaac Rosenthal, were arrested
and paraphernalia of their trade that
nearly filled an express waggon was taken
from their rooms in West Fifty-ninth
street to pollee headquarters. This included
a r000rd of the gang's pest and prospective
victims, and a handle
of telegrams from,
men in the 'United States and Canada who
wished to be initiated into the mysteries of
the business.
This record and the telegrams not only
give a clear insight into the operations of
the oriminals, butfernish damaging evi-
dence against persons in nearly every
State of the Union. Tho most eonvinoing
proofs of the guilt of the two men were
found. Ward, whose real name is sup-
posed to be Galerein, and Rosenthal, are
declared by Anthony Comstock, who con-
ducted the sucoessfal investigation, to be
members of the "McNally gang," whioh
has been operating in this city for years.
Originally the gang consisted of five mem-
bers. James W. and Walter McNally were
its moving spirits. Their work was unusu-
ally saooeesful, and although many at.
tempts were made to capture them, they
continued to work under the very nose of
the police. The MaNallys were lost eight
of some time ago, but the green goods basi-
nese went along just the same. The man
who completed the trio has been shadowed,
but so for he has managed to elude deter!.
tion. Mr. Comstock thinks he will be oap-
tared soon.
The record book of the McNally gang,
which Mr. Comstock now possesses, makes
some wonderful disclosures. The tele-
grams found " are mostly from persons in
Quebec). Here are three sample Canadian
despatches:
I,
Lente WEEDON, Que., Oct. —;
No money to start; only good security on
good farm note. JEAN BTS. BELLmIFE.
Ir.
EGANIYILLE, Ont., Oct. ri.
Give me particulars and I will give you bust
nese. LOINS SELLAR, Cloister& Poet -office,
LEC.
Bneerrono, Ont., Oct. 29e
I would like to enter into your business if me
accept me. Tee. STrRIs, Oshwekin, Ont.
The circulars found indicated that the
gang did not limit their business to
America. The reoords contain an amusing
item, whioh would indioate that a Ger-
man " crossed the water" to bo taken in by
Ward & Co.
Ward and Rosenthal will be tried under
Section 527 of the Penal Code, which thor-
oughly covers " green goods" oases. If
found guilty they may be imprisoned for
not less than one year nor more than five
years, and fined not less than $100 nor
more than $2,000.
How the Jovial Knowledge Came.
Youngly—Haw did you come to know'
that you were in love with me, dearie ?
Debutante (blushingly)—I felt that 1 was
an awful fool.
MaltingHi Understand.
She—Will you please close the door, Mr.
Stayer ?
He—Why, it is closed.
Slee—Yea, but I meant from the other
side.
" Is your brother still pursuing the
law?" " He was till last spring." " And
now ? " " The law is after him."
An instance of just retribution is found
in the ease of the man who invented the
pigs-in-olover puzzle. He has been sent to
an insane asylum in St. Louis.
Robert Buchanan's new play le called
"The Sixth Commandment,'' and while
the plot is Russian it ie said to introduce
neither sleighs, reindeer, nihilism nor far
coats.
Last May, it will be remembered,
Charles Selden, a wealthy colored man,
presented himself at; Robinson's Floating
Palace, Evansville, I11,, and asked the price
of a first-class seat. " One hundred dol-
lars," was the reply. He paid the price,
but at the end of the first ant returned to
the box.office and demanded his money,
bat was refused. He then sued the man-
agers for damages, under the Civil Rights
Bill, and a few days ago the case was de-
cided against him.
MINIM
D 0 N L. 44. 90.
fi7
N e;; ?1l:S.'lJ nee P T I ON
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CONSUMPTION,
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,a , ttet1.;v'asfmtruts,�•e,,awr_,.aue"_„aiaftain
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