HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2005-12-22, Page 5THE CmZBt, THURSDAY, DECEMBER 22,2005. PAGE 5.
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Enough to drive you to
£ £ ood evening, Madame, welcome
■ 'W',° Ep*c Restaurant. Can I offer
you something to drink? I have a
splendid French Badoit, world renowned for
its Hower)' bouquet and hints of the High
Sierra, but if you don’t care for Artesian I can
offer you a premium Glacial. I personally
recommend the Gleneagles Natural. A
transparently well-rounded libation imported
from the heather-clad Ochil Hills of Scotland.
It's a triumph of icy gusto with an
astonishingly clean finish.”
"What's that? You just want water with your
meal?
"Madame.. .I'm the water sommelier. Water
is what I've been telling you about.”
Sounds like a dopey spinoff from a Monty
Python skit, but it’s true. There is an Epic
restaurant - in Toronto’s Fairmont Royal York
hotel - and it does have a water sommelier.
He’s David Smuck.
What’s more he can offer you everything
from Welsh Ty Nant through Hawaii’s Kona
Nigari to Austria’s Gerolsteiner and Italy’s
Pellegrino.
And it is all bottled water. Not to mention
big business. Forty-five point eight billion
dollars big. internationally.
People are lining up to pay for the privilege
of drinking the world’s most common liquid
with an avidity not seen since the 17th Century
Dutch Tulip Bulb Craze.
After Americans, Canucks are the thirstiest
per capita guzzlers of bottled water in the
world. By the year 2000 each of us was
chugalugging more than 30 litres a year.
Pretty impressive, considering that even the
mainstream stuff - Dasani, Polaris, Evian -
retails for more than the price of gasoline.
What's really Pythonesque is that most of us
Gasping on the issue of smoking
Ontario’s latest maneuverings on
smoking should make residents gasp,
but they are barely noticing.
It is not often a premier, in this case Liberal
Dalton McGuinty, provides the toughest law in
North America to protect his province against
smoking, then flies off happily promoting
exports of the tobacco it grows, that causes the
problem, to China.
This took Ontario politics to its lowest in the
42 years this reporter has covered the
legislature.
Politicians, and this includes the opposition
parties who have failed to protest, cannot be
more callous than to say they will protect their
friends and neighbors against illness and
death, but foist them on others - after all, they
are only Chinese.
Smoking kills more than 16,000 Ontarians a
yeai and the Liberals’ campaign against it,
which was launched with fanfare and pride,
will include a ban on lighting up in all
enclosed public places, including restaurants
and bars, starting May 31.
Health Minister George Smitherman has
said it will make Ontario a healthier place to
live and work.
Tobacco-growers in the province are having
difficulty slaying in business, particularly
because of increasing restrictions on smoking,
and governments are helping them slowly
sw itch to other crops.
McGuinty led a trade mission to China to
increase trade in November and it included
representatives ot the growers, hoping to
expand sales in what they called an emerging
and important market.
McGuinty explained they asked to accom
pany him and do what they could to promote
their product and his spokesman said the premier
was not going to pick and choose who went.
Fairly short stories mentioning that
- not counting those poor sods in places like
Afghanistan and Kashechewan — have an
unlimited supply of the stuff on tap in our
kitchens.
Ah, but it’s not the same, you say. Tap water
has chlorine and stuff in it, whereas bottled
water is pristine and virginal, inveigled from
glaciers or deep mountain springs.
Bunk.
Tests have shown that bottled water can
contain as many or more contaminants as tap
water, and in blind taste tests hardly anybody
can tell the difference anyway.
As for the glacier ancestry, here’s a tip: Coca
Cola - which owns and sells the Dasani brand
- gets its water from Brampton, smack in the
urban heartland of Ontario.
And, pointing at the snowy mountain crag
depicted on the label of Nestle Pure Life water,
public health inspector Marilyn Lee says:
“This water is from Guelph, Ontario. Have
you ever seen a glacier in Guelph? It’s
misrepresentation...It’s good water, but I live
in Guelph.,.It’s probably the same water from
my tap.”
And perhaps not even as safe as tap water.
“Bottled water could have more bacteria,
because it is disinfected with ozone instead of
chlorine,” says Lee. “The ozone bubbles
through so there’s no residue in the bottom of
the bottle. The chlorine (in tap water) is
Eric
Dowd
From
Queen's Park
McGuinty was taking tobacco growers
appeared in two Toronto newspapers and one
interviewed a group opposed to smoking,
which warned this would increase health
problems in China. But the issue has received
nowhere near the interest its dangers warrant.
There have since been some comments on
the trade mission and smoking. McGuinty
reported it had been exciting and a major step
toward increasing trade with China and
Economic Development and Trade Minister
Joe Cordiano called it a real success.
Health Promotion Minister Jim Watson
announced the province will spend an
additional $1.2 million to help public health
units promote anti-smoking campaigns here.
Progressive Conservative MPP Toby Barrett
from a tobacco-growing area said many
Ontario tobacco farmers are on the verge of
bankruptcy and pleaded for more government
funds to help them switch crops.
The Conservative, who is concerned the
Liberals are putting too many restrictions on
smokers, also asked for more opportunity for
critics to make submissions.
New Democrat leader Howard Hampton,
whose party normally leads fights for
underdogs and rights abroad, seemed about to
raise concern at McGuinty’s promoting
tobacco in China when he mentioned the
premier “flew to China to flog Ontario’s
tobacco.” But it turned out he merely wanted
drink
always there.”
So how come every second person you see is
lugging a canteen of bottled water when they
could be satisfying their hydration needs at the
local water fountain?
In a word: marketing. The same folks who
convinced us that we craved a beer like
Labatt’s Lite (Labatt’s Lite? Is there some beer
aesthete out there for whom the taste of
Labatt’s regular is too robust?) have conned us
into shelling out a fistful of loonies for what
comes out of our taps for free.
It’s a con job with a long term price.
Eduardo Souza of the Council of Canadians
says: “The more bottled water we drink, the
more we undermine public confidence in the
ability of municipalities to serve water.”
Not that you necessarily want to give
government a blank cheque when it comes to
liquids. Last year, then-U.S. Secretary of State
Katherine Harris strong-armed Florida state
officials to adopt a ‘miracle’ liquid called
Celestial Drops, which she claimed could cure
a canker disease menacing Florida’s citrus
crops.
Celestial Drops came with a bafflegab
pedigree worthy of the priciest item on Epic’s
water menu. It was promoted as having
“improved fractal design, infinite levels of
order, high energy and low entropy”.
And how did Celestial Drops come by these
lofty credentials? Well, it ‘absorbed’ them - by
being stored in a holy room with sacred
Hebrew texts.
Florida scientists ran an analysis and
determined that Celestial Drops was actually
— you guessed it - tap water.
The late, great P.T. Barnum observed
“there’s a sucker born every minute.”
I think we’re picking up the pace.
McGuinty to fly to General Motors and other
company headquarters to protest job cuts.
A letter in a Toronto newspaper said it was
disgusting McGuinty helped Ontario growers
market their tobacco in China, when he should
promote healthy lifestyles wherever he goes.
The legislature has now adjourned for
Christmas without any MPP in any party
Criticizing a government which supposedly is
against smoking, promoting tobacco sales
overseas. None is now likely to.
Smitherman, who normally is a formidable
battler for his causes, had no word of protest
and neither did the health promotion minister,
who confines his job to promoting health
among Ontarians. And Liberals would not
want to cause any turbulence over their
premier’s flight to China..
Most of the Conservatives, including leader
John Tory, voted for the new smoking law, but
half a dozen voted against and said it is harsh
on smokers, bar-owners and tobacco-growers,
and their party is unlikely to alienate such a
wide group of voters.
The NDP also has a history of being big on
causes, but sometimes backing off when it
could cost votes. These politicians should
carry warnings they are hazardous to another
country’s health.
Final Thought
When I had youth I had no money; now I
have the money I have no time; and when I
get the time, if I ever do, I shall have no
health to enjoy life. I suppose it’s the
discipline I need; out it’s rather hard to love
the things I do, and see them go by because
duty chains me to my galley. If I ever come
into port with all sails set, that will be my
reward perhaps - Louisa May Alcott
Bonnie
Gropp
The short of it
Where are the angels?
Well, that was somewhat
disappointing. We asked for arfgels
and one might assume there were
none.
Angels come in a variety of shapes and sizes.
Their gestures may be grand, such as on
television shows like Extreme Home Makeover
or Three Wishes, or small like giving you a hug
when you need it most. But the impact is
always the same. Angels make us feel good.
For this special Christmas issue of The
Citizen we felt it might be nice for our readers
to share personal experiences of when a simple
act, kind gesture or the right words made a life
just a little better. Unfortunately, only one
person was apparently affected enough by
someone’s deed to send in a submission.
At least that was the initial thought. At first I
felt it was just one more commentary on a
world that has become so cynical, selfish
and/or busy that they either don’t notice or
don’t care. But then I began to think about that.
It suddenly occurred that maybe we’re more
blessed than I thought. Maybe, I wondered,
kindnesses happen with such regularity that it’s
impossible to name just one.
Looking to my work colleagues and to
myself for stories of the ‘angels among us’
(lead by example I guess), I started to see that
despite the way things may occasionally seem
to be, people are still pretty dam decent. And
the ones who came to mind didn’t necessarily
do anything that was a big deal to them, but
they sure did manage to brighten someone
else’s day.
This may have been another reason why
people didn’t respond to our request — the
idea that we are looking for the grand gesture,
that act that is so bold, so incredible you
simply have to notice. Bu in fact, it is often the
tiniest gesture that can carry the biggest
impact.
Just in my life and off the top of my head
there have been the neighbours who cared for
me as family when my husband was out of
town. There is the friend who always knows
the right thing to say when it needs to be said
and more importantly when it doesn’t. There is
the acquaintance who fetched a heater for me
when he saw me shivering in the office one
day. There is the stranger who saw tears and
offered a handkerchief.
And of course, there’s always my family.
Hearing one of their voices on the phone can
dispose of even the worst garbage from a rotten
day. My husband’s humour has saved me
countless times while my children and their
children give to me in ways they can’t even
imagine.
One day several summers ago in response to
my frustrated “I need a miracle”, my grandson
Mitchell said that he would be my miracle. No,
it really doesn’t have to be the grand gesture
that does it for somebody. His naivety that day
lifted my spirits in a way that nothing else ever
eould.
If there is a time of year for ‘good’ news
stories it’s Christmas. It would obviously
therefore have been nice to include dozens of
warm-fuzzy inducing anecdotes in this issue.
But, if I’m right in my assumption that
people didn’t think they were big enough to
warrant the space it’s really too bad. No act of
kindness is too small for notice.
So, maybe we didn’t get the chance to
acknowledge them publicly, but take time this
holiday season and think of the people who
have warmed your heart.