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The Citizen, 2005-09-29, Page 5THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 29, 2005. PAGE 5. Other Views The art of the headline So what did you think of that head­ line? Well, don’t blame me, I didn’t write it. I don't even know who did. Some ink- stained Gollum-like creature who toils in the bowels of the newspaper, I imagine. We’ve never met and probably never will. All I know about the Headline Writer is that each week I submit my column with an enchantingly clever, deftly nuanced headline that perfectly sums up the topic I’m addressing in a handful of artfully chosen words... And he. she or it changes it. Sometimes the new headline is shorter than mine, or longer. But what really curls my snowshoes is - it’s usually better than my headline. It pains me to admit it, but headline writers are the unsung Gretzkys of the newspaper world. They are the playmakers. The setter­ uppers. Let’s face it - if the headline writer doesn’t grab you. what would ever cause you to peruse my poor prose? Which is not to say that every headline is a wrist shot through the five-hole. Some of them are downright bad. Or painfully obvious, such as the headline that informed readers: PLANE TOO CLOSE TO GROUND. CRASH PROBE TOLD. Or the one that cleverly announced: COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURES. But newspaper headlines can also be as deft as haiku and as clever as Leonard Cohen. How about this one. which appeared in The New York Times over an article about timekeepers at an all-male track meet? Over a Opposition not exactly powerless Ontario Progressive Conservative opposition leader John Tory is lamenting he does not have enough power in his job, but he is not exactly a 90- pound weakling. Tory said in an interview marking his first year as leader he has little leverage to change the policies of Liberal Premier Dalton McGuinty. He also said he has limited clout even in his own party and can get it to follow him only by persuasion or showing a good example in leadership. There is some truth in both his concerns, because he cannot out-vote the Liberals in the legislature, where they have a majority. He cannot even force Liberal ministers to give proper answers to questions there. Most of the time they respond merely that they are much smarter than the Conservatives they replaced, and the rules allow them to answer any way they want. Opposition leaders rarely get as much space in news media as premiers, because what premiers say affects residents, and they cannot spend public money on advertisements that promote their - parties, unlike many past premiers. Tory, in dealing with his own party, also lacks powers to make any who dissent toe the line, particularly because he has no positions he can give or withhold in cabinet or a senate, or on provincial boards and commissions. All opposition leaders have had to face this limitation and a Liberal MPP once thumbed his nose at his leader in opposition by telling a public meeting “leaders come and leaders go.” No-one in his party is challenging Tory anyway. But some opposition parties have helped force governments to change their policies and. while governments mostly dig their own graves, push them in. Arthur Black photograph of several officials earnestly peering at their stopwatches: THESE ARE THE SOULS THAT TIME MENS’TRIES Or this New York Times headline, which legendarily ran over a story about the actress Gloria Swanson. Apparently the New York premiere of a new Swanson film had to be postponed from Sunday to the following Monday due to a flash flood which had crippled the New York bus and subway systems. The headline writers crisp summation: SIC TRANSIT, GLORIA MUNDI Would that headlines were always even half that subtle. Alas, with the sublime we often get the ridiculous - and the unintentionally hilarious. A California daily headline once informed readers: PANDA MATING FAILS; VETERINARIAN TAKES OVER While a newspaper in Saskatchewan ran a story under a banner that read: RED TAPE HOLDS UP BRIDGE Occasionally headlines appear that should be accompanied by an ‘X’rating: ANTIQUE STRIPPER TO DEMONSTRATE WARES AT STORE Eric Dowd From Queen’s Park McGuinty as opposition leader played a part in prompting a Conservative government to stop ministers spending on personal use as if they were Conrad Black on vacation and gave it a last shove by focusing on its record of weakening services and urging “choose change.” Mike Harris, the last Conservative premier to win an election, led the smallest party in the legislature, but accused the then New Democrat government of overspending so often he became known as its main critic, which he emphasized by calling himself “The Taxfighter,” a bit hokey. Harris helped force the NDP to retreat from some promises, including one to provide public auto insurance, and while in opposition promoted a package of promises to cut taxes and government so in an election in 1995, he vaulted over the two other parties into government. A growing number disagree with his policies, but this was an opposition party that really showed it could influence events. The NDP earlier in opposition painstakingly built up policies on every issue, in heated debates in steamy conventions over many years, to capitalize when the two traditionally bigger parties lost the confidence of voters simultaneously in 1990. The Liberals under premier David Peterson called an election a year early on bogus grounds and were not believed by voters, who And: ASTRONAUT TAKES BLAME FOR GAS IN SPACECRAFT But you know whoever wrote this headline is no longer in the newspaper business: IS THERE A RING OF DEBRIS AROUND URANUS? Personally. I prefer the intentionally clever headlines over the accidentally hilarious ones. And no newspaper does it better than Variety, the bible of the entertainment industry. Over a story about how rural audiences were not attracted to Hollywood movies with rural themes, the Variety headliner wrote: STIX NIX HIX PIX As Jimmy Durante might say, “It don’t get suc-cincter then that!” And just for the record, The New York Times is not always at the top of the heap when it comes to headlines. As a matter of fact on one glorious occasion, The Times got its journalistic clock cleaned by the tiny upstart New York Daily News. The news story broke in 1975 when then- U.S. President Gerald Ford announced that Washington would not be bailing New York City out of its financial crisis. The New York Times weighed down its front page story with a headline almost as long as the item: FORD. CASTIGATING CITY, ASSERTS HE’D VETO FUND GUARANTEE; OFFERS BANKRUPTCY BILL. The Daily News headline writer said the same thing in six syllables: FORD TO CITY: DROP DEAD Now THAT’S a headline. had kicked out the Conservatives only five years earlier because they had become arrogant, refusing to debate on TV and diverting public money to friends, and were in no rush to bring them back. The NDP by contrast seemed serious about issues and was not offending voters and they turned to it for the first time. Peterson as opposition leader in 1985 gave his party a large boost to power when he hit on the idea of promising to allow Canadian beers and wines to be sold in small grocery stores. Much of the media lapped this up and pictured Peterson as a young, modern, urban leader, poised to make dramatic change, although he oddly never even passed the promised law when he became premier. Opposition parties do not have all the powers of governments, but they are not exactly helpless. Tory has worked in party backrooms long enough to know this - he just likes being seen as an underdog. Letters Policy The Citizen welcomes letters to the editor. Letters must be signed and should include a daytime telephone number for the purpose of verification only. Letters that are not signed will not be printed. Submissions may be edited for length, clarity and content, using fair comment as our guideline. The Citizen reserves the right to refuse any letter on the basis of unfair bias, prejudice or inaccurate information. As well, letters can only be printed as space allows. Please keep your letters brief and concise. Bonnie Gropp The short of it Not winter yet Il doesn't matter how much sunslrine. nor what the temperature, there’s no escaping the reality that fall is definitely in the air. For those of us who cherish the heat and sunshine, it’s been an incredible summer, one that stretched right into the first week of fall. It’s been a gift that seems to just keep coming. Yet, behind the still comforting heat of the September sun is a subtle cooling, a foreshadowing nip that surprises you as it blows in on a gentle breeze. I sigh wandering onto the deck in the late afternoon to find the sun already tucked low in the sky behind the trees. When supper is finished and order has been made of the disorder in my kitchen, twilight has arrived, limiting quality time outdoors. Driving to work each day, I extend a silent prayer to the chlorophyll in every green leaf to hang on just a little longer. 1 used to love the fall. Il’s my birthday season, it’s arrival a reminder of my good fortune to be here yet another year. When I waS young fall brought the local fair, a much anticipated rural ritual. The early darkness, with still somewhat pleasant temperatures, allowed new excitement for us neighbourhood youngsters with night games of chase before bedtime. Meeting my future husband gave me another autumn birthday to celebrate. As did babies two, three and four, then our grandson. Throw in Thanksgiving and the fall has been a big time for family in our household. However, while its colours are incredible and its return to normalcy after a summer of play even a little welcome, let’s be truthful here. It’s all just a picturesque sojourn before winter’s harsh realitv. And while I know there are those who iove winter, and I’m thrilled for them — really, 1 can’t put too fine a point on iny feelings here. I abhor it, loathe it, detest it, I can’t find one redeeming thing it has to offer. I crave the sunlight and can’t find it. My bones beg for warmth and never feel it. After years of driving treacherous roads through a milky-white, blinding haze, knowing loved ones are travelling those same kinds of roads, I am tired of the stress and worry. The worst of it has been that knowing winter’s arrival is imminent, my enjoyment of autumn's first blush has been diminished over time. However, with the wonderful gift of this past summer behind me I have reached a decision that I’m not going to let that happen anymore. Oh, 1 will continue to moan and groan and whine about winter. Count on it. There are just some things that will never change. But 1 am going to reclaim some of my former joy in this season. I am going to grab as many moments outside as I can to enjoy the brilliant colours. I will make a point of playing in the leaves and of being awed by an autumn twilight. I will gaze at a starry night unbroken by leafy branches and recognize that this too is pretty good. I bid farewell to birds and their music, but also to mosquitoes and wasps. 1 have my family occasions to anticipate and special outings with friends who have become so much a part of life. I will enjoy this season for all its beauty and for the memories it will eventually create. Perhaps it will help if 1 stop thinking of autumn as the end of summer, but rather as not winter yet.