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The Citizen, 2005-09-22, Page 5THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 22, 2005. PAGE 5. Other Views Now that’s > yiglislt was good enough for Jesus Christ and it’s good enough for the m children of Texas. - Texas Governor Miriam Ferguson. 1924 Ah, brute stupidity. Ari unreckoned-with force on the planet on which we live. Speaking of stupidity, hold your heads high, Canucks, for we have out-performed the entire civilized world in the only category that really matters. Who cares if the Yanks win the World Series, the Brits take home the World Cup, the Aussies trounce us at swimming, the Italians whip us on the ski slopes and the New Zealand All Blacks win the international whatever-it- is-those rugger-hooligans-play-for? We Canucks can stand tall and proud atop the only podium that really resonates in the global village. We have the World’s Dumbest Government. It’s official. We beat put some tough contenders — Government of Iran, Government of North Korea and perennial front-runner, the United Nations — but we took the top spot at the Just For Laughs Comedy Festival in Montreal this past summer. Some would argue that a country which routinely elects to public office representatives like Stockwell Day, Carolyn Parrish and Paul Martin has an unnatural advantage in the Stupidity Sweepstakes, but this country’s commitment to intrinsic imbecility and bedrock brain-deadness goes much deeper than the front lines of politics. A handful of moronic moves and idiotic incentives culled from this week’s news proves my point. Item one: a recent incident on a city bus in downtown Victoria, B.C. The driver glances in his rear view mirror to see a rider brandishing a handgun. Prudently, Jews appear to have lost influence The biggest losers in Ontario’s debate over Muslim sharia law oddly have been Jews, who appear to have lost some of their traditional clout in politics. Premier Dalton McGuinty had no option but to deny government approval to residents who choose to be judged in civil and family disputes by the Muslim law, after hearing ample evidence this can be unfair to women. The Liberal premier also had no alternative than to add it would be inconsistent to refuse Muslims this support while approving other religious groups arbitrating disputes under their laws, which had been permitted since New Democrats passed a law making it available in 1991. The most frequent users of this law have been Jews who try such issues in rabbinical courts and also faced criticisms their faith­ based tribunals favour men. The province cannot prevent such informal arbitration by religious groups and some have said they will continue it, but their findings no longer will be binding in law. Organizations representing Jews have been quick to protest. The Canadian Jewish Congress, which judging by those who speak for it is led by men. expressed disappointment and said it is important Jews retain a right to choose arbitration by rabbinical courts. Jews demonstrated against McGuinty, a rare occurrence, outside a human rights dinner he attended given by B’nai Brith. (Premiers seem to spend almost as much time attending dinners given by Jewish organizations as in the legislature.) Jews also said they are considering a constitutional challenge and were shocked the premier decided without consulting them. Jews would expect to be consulted because a dumb idea he calls the cops. The police broach the gun- toting rider, who confesses that yes. he is carrying a handgun but it’s okay because it’s only a replica and it’s just to frighten the seagujls. Frighten the seagulls? Which seagulls would that be, sir? The seagulls that were 'harassing' his pet pigeon. Now 1 know seagulls are among the smarter cookies of the bird world, but I very much doubt that your average seagull - or even your top-of-the-line, college-graduate Mensa- member seagull - could tell a .38 Smith and Wesson from a carpet slipper. Dumb idea, sir. Item two: elephants in Saskatchewan. A team of scientists is suggesting that our middlemost province should become a haven for herds of wild elephants presently endangered by encroaching human settlements in other parts of the world. And not just elephants, but cheetahs, lions and camels too - all running wild and free from Moose Jaw to McCusker Creek. It’s a process known as 'rewilding' - basically, relocating animals to foreign but less threatening habitats. “Will you risk the extinction of the world’s megafauna should economic, political and climate change prove catastrophic for those populations remaining in Africa and Asia?” Eric Dowd From Queen’s Park they traditionally have been very much listened to. They have had a huge influence for their comparatively small numbers, only a total 190,795 out of the province’s total population of 11,285,550. Jews are among the most talented, educated and public-spirited Ontarians and at high levels in business, the arts, academics and media. They are strongly represented in McGuinty’s cabinet with two senior ministers, Monte Kwinter, a steady, respected elder statesman, in community safety, and David Caplan, responsible for renewing infrastructure. Attorney General Michael Bryant, most tipped by news media to succeed McGuinty as leader, has a large concentration of Jews in his riding and is highly attentive to their causes. Ontario premiers rarely have been attracted by events overseas, but virtually all premiers in recent decades have visited Israel at least once, pressed by Ontario’s Jewish groups to see first hand the nation they helped build. Progressive Conservative William Davis went several times, a school there was named after him and he once said 1 am a Jerusalemite’ to show his attachment. MPPs have expressed support for Israel many times in the legislature, but only one. asks a scientific spokesman with just a whiff of tut-tut in his voice. Well, I've got a question for you. Mister Spokesman. Can you say the word 'winter'? Imagine the mindset of an African lion prowling a wheat field outside Estevan in a January blizzard with the mercury flickering around minus 40? Not pretty. And the thought of innocent elephant herds confronting their first full-blown curling bonspiel without the proper acculturation? The SPCA would be all over you like hungry cheetahs on a buttered wildebeest. Besides, contrary to what these laboratory­ bound boffins seem to believe, Saskatchewan is not a border-to-border open veldt of empty waving grasses. Actual humans live in Saskatchewan. Humans who might object to lions skulking past their hot tubs and elephants pooping on their petunias. Dumb idea, fellas. Dumb enough to rate its very own category at the World Stupidity Awards. Speaking of which, did I mention the winner of the Stupidest Statement of the Year category? Not ex-prime minister Jean Chretien (“Da proof is da proof and when you have da good proof, it’s proven.” Not would-be prime minister Stephen Harper (“Don't touch me!" — to a gaggle of school kids at a kindergarten photo-op.) Not even the prime minister himself. (“Let me be very, very, very clear about that. As prime minister 1 am very, very, very concerned.”) It was the old master, George W. Bush talking about terrorists. (“They never stop thinking of new ways to harm our people, and neither do we.”) Cheer up, prime minister. There’s always next year. New Democrat Peter Kormos, has expressed support for Arabs, calling for Jews to withdraw from occupied lands and the establishment of an independent Palestinian state Ontario Jews’ biggest ambition for decades was to secure provincial funding for their religious schools similar to that given public and Roman Catholic schools. They obtained a form of this when Tory premier Mike Harris before retiring in 2002 changed the law so parents who sent their children to private including religious schools received credits they could deduct from their income tax. Kwinter and Bryant recognized the enthusiasm for this among Jews and praised the Tories’ law and created something of a rift among the Liberals in opposition. But since the Liberals under McGuinty won government in 2003 they have abolished the tax credits for parents who send children to private, including Jewish, schools. The big question, as opposition to sharia grew, was how McGuinty could reject it while allowing Jews to continue using their religious laws to arbitrate and of course he couldn’t. But he has now taken away a second right wanted by Jews and they are not growing as fast as other groups and must feel they have been shoved to the back of the bus. Final Thought An open mind is all very well, but it ought not to be so open that there's no keeping anything in or out. - Samuel Butler Bonnie Gropp The short of it I give! To paraphrase Shakespeare a rose by any other name is still a rose and thus could only be a pain to me. I have stared defeat in the face. 1 have admitted failure and have given up. Yet, while 1 may have lost, it’s not exactly like my nemesis came out on top. The beauty of the rose is cherished by anyone who enjoys the colours of summer around their home. 1 planted several quite a few years ago. They were given high profile in a bed along our walkway and initially we enjoyed bountiful blooms, rich hues and of course the heady fragrance. It was a nice way to start the day enroute to my car and was an nice greeting to visitors at our home. Understanding the intricacies of the rose, the many rules to be followed to keep them healthy and flowering profusely. I thought seeing how lovely they were those first summers that 1 had finally earned the rank of green thumb. I was puffed out and proud. Then friend became foe. At first it was a few small black spots, which soon despite my careful efforts, spread further and further. With the bushes’ close proximity to a highly- travelled area of our property, I hated the.idea of dusting. But as blighted leaves fell I knew- there was no choice. However, when I discovered that chemical control is never a one-time blast, my aversion won over my desire for healthy-looking roses. Each consecutive summer brought new challenges and thorny problems. Coping with and trying to find the ’deal solution to bugs, fungus and few blooms kept me busy. While it’s probable that some of these woes were caused by the decreasing sunlight on that side of the house thanks to my husband’s personal tree planting campaign, one thing was quite clear. The lovely rose, adored by so many for its variety of colour and rich fragrance, was fast becoming less than popular with me. I had poured over books, clipped articles from magazines, consulted with others who seemed to grow beautiful lush roses with little effort, and checked websites dedicated to the romance of the rose. And simply got more confused. Where one woman with roses of renown claimed she never did a thing to them, never worried, they just grew, another let me know how diligent 1 must be about everything from fertilizer and spraying to pruning. Don’t like chemicals? Use dishsoap and water. Fungus? Keep the leaves dry. Definitely prune some roses, but not others. My head was awhirl and none of the advice worked. The only thing that was clear was that this was one venture into horticulture that had become a little too high maintenance for me. Finally, this yeai, as I walked past sickly sticks bearing some chewed leaves and insipid blooms I had had it. The rose is not my friend. And if 1 have learned one thing in life it’s that I’ve got no time for things that make me feel inferior. With shears, shovel and great satisfaction I cut, dug and pulled, ridding these objects of such frustration from my life. Even when a thorn pierced my hand it didn’t deter me from my goal. As a warrior in battle I tossed one aside then moved to the next. While I may have had to admit defeat, I would at least expunge this scourge from my life. And, I must say, staring at the empty holes where once a rose had bloomed brought me almost as much pleasure as the flowers ever did.