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Home My WebLink AboutThe Citizen, 2005-09-01, Page 10PAGE 10. THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 1, 2005. Bullying an early form of violent behaviour II you're like most people, you had to deal with a bully at some time during your childhood. Memories of that experience may still be as \i\id as though it all happened yesterday. One in IO school children is regularly harassed or attacked by bullies. The experience is often dismissed as just a part of childhood. Bullying behavior may seem rather insignificant compared to kids bringing guns to school and getting involved with drugs. Bullying is often dismissed as part of growing up. But it’s actually an early form of aggressive, violent behavior. Statistics show that one in four children who bully will have a criminal record before the age of 30. Bullies often cause serious problems that school staff, families, and neighbours ignore. Teasing at bus stops, taking another child’s lunch money, insults and threats, kicking or shoving - it’s all fair gamef to a bully. Some bullies are outgoing, aggressive, active, and expressive. They get their way by brute force or openly harassing someone. This type of bully rejects rules and regulations and needs to rebel to achieve a feeling of superiority and security. Other bullies are more reserved and manipulative and may not want to be recognized as harassers or tormentors. They try to control by smooth-talking saying the right thing at the right time, and lying. This type of bully gets his or her power discreetly through cunning, manipulation, and deception. As different as these two types may seem, all bullies have some characteristics in common. They: • Are concerned with their own pleasure • want power over others • are willing to use and abuse other people to get what they want • feel pain inside, perhaps because of their own shortcomings • find it difficult to see things from someone else’s perspective Bullied children lose self-esteem. They feel alone. Their grades may suffer. Fears and anxieties about bullies can cause some children to avoid school, carry a weapon for protection, or even commit more violent activity; even good children may turn to violence to protect themselves or to seek revenge. Although anyone can be the target of bullying behavior, the victim is often singled out because of his or her psychological traits more than his or her physical traits. A typical victim is likely to be shy, sensitive, and perhaps anxious or insecure. Some children are picked on for physical reasons such as being overweight or physically small, having a disability, or belonging to a different race or religious faith. What can we do to stop bullying? There’s a great deal a parent can do: • Provide opportunities for children to talk about bullying, perhaps when watching TV together, reading aloud, playing a game, or going to the park or a movie. • Watch for symptoms that your child may be a bullying victim, such as withdrawal, a drop in grades, torn clothes, unexplained bruises, not wanting to go to school, needing extra money or supplies, taking toys or other possessions to school regularly losing them. • Take your child’s complaints of bullying seriously. Children are often afraid or ashamed to tell anyone that they have been bullied, so believe your child's complaints. • Tell the school or organization immediately if you think that your child is being bullied. Alerted caregivers can carefully monitor your children’s actions and take other steps to ensure your child’s safety. • Work with other parents to ensure that the children in your neighbourhood are supervised closely on their way to and from school. • Listen. Encourage your child to talk about school, social events, and the walk or ride to and from school. Listen to his or her conversations with other children. This could be your first clue to whether your child is a victim, a bully, or neither. • Don’t bully your children yourself, physically or verbally. Use non-physical, consistently enforced discipline measures as opposed to ridiculing, yelling at, or ignoring your children when they misbehave. • Teach children ways to resolve arguments without violent words or actions. Teach children self protection skills - how to walk confidently, stay alert to what’s going on around them, and to stand up for themselves verbally. • Help children learn, the social skills they need to make friends. A confident, resourceful child who has friends is less likely to be bullied or to bully others. • Praise your child’s kindness toward others. Let your child know that kindness is valued. • Recognize that bullies may be acting out feelings of insecurity, ‘PCeo&e fat fat (wtdAifo Sunday, September 4 Morning Worship Service - 10 a.m. Evening Worship Service - 7:30 p.m. BLYTH CHRISTIAN REFORMED CHURCH anger, or loneliness. If your child is a bully, help get to the root of the problem. Seek out specific strategies you -can use at home from a teacher, school counselor, or child psychogist. Beat the temptation. J&smokersHELPLiNE riMArMAki e/'v'ic-rv TOLL-FREE 1-877-513-5333 Obituaries MARION COOK Marion Christina (Garrett) Cook of Blyth passed away suddenly at Clinton Public Hospital on Sunday, Aug. 28, 2005. She was in her 78th year. She was the beloved wife of Russell Cook of Blyth. Marion was the loving mother of Eleanor and Randy Babcock of RR1, Clinton, Linda and Keith Loder of Blyth, Wayne Cook and his companion Julie of Hanover, David and Fran Cook of Blyth, Joanne and Peter DeJong of Caley, Alta., Les and Jackie Cook of Blyth and Merrilyn and Rick McBurney of Blyth. She will be sadly missed by 18 grandchildren and 12 great grandchildren. Marion was the dear sister of Doreen Emmerson of London. One sister Mae Rilling, and four brothers, Earl, Doug, Leonard and Murray Garrett predeceased her. Friends were received at the Church of God, 184 Blyth Road E., Blyth on Tuesday from 6 - 9 p.m., and at the Auburn Missionary Church on Wednesday, Aug. 31 from 1 p.m. The funeral service was at 2 p.m. Wednesday Cremation has taken place. Donations to the Marion Cook Memorial Fund, care of Church of God, Blyth would be appreciated as expressions of sympathy. Funeral arrangements were entrusted to Falconer Funeral Homes Ltd., Clinton. Sept. 4 - Matt. 10:5ff "Jes1 Folks' -- Finding Bridges ? to Cross" y J L-Xr Check out ( our Streaming Video! i 1 Christ-centred, Bible-believing, Fellowship-friendly, Growth-geared 10:30 am Blyth Public School Pastor: Ernest Dow - 523-4848 http://getlivingwater.org Donation-based 'X PASTORAL COUNSELLING • Marriage • Family \ • Budgeting Pastor John Kuperus Hwy. 4, Blyth 523-9233 Wheelchair accessible HURON CHAPEL EVANGELICAL MELVILLE PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH BRUSSELS Sunday, S.e.pte.m&e.’i 4 11:OO am - Sunday Morning Worship 9:30 am - Sunday Belgrave Service Wheelchair accessible Nursery care available Rev. Cathrine Campbell - 887-9831 THE ANGLICAN CHURCH OF CANADA cpw to cmtc SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 4 Trinity, Blyth 9:30 a.m. St. John's, Brussels 11:15a.m. The Rev. Tom Wilson, B.A., MDiv. 887-9273 BRUSSELS - ETHEL PASTORAL CHARGE UNITED CHURCH OF CANADA Church Office 887-6259 E-mail - bepc@wightman.ca Sunday, September 4 Ethel United Church 9:30 a.m. Worship Service Sunday School starts September 4 Brussels United Church 11:00 a.m. Worship Service Sunday School starts September 11 Celebrating our Christian Faith together in worship MISSIONARY CHURCH SINGASON^OF Sunday Tuesday 2 Wednesday Auburn - 526-1131 PASTOR DAVE WOOD 9:30 a.m. 10:30 a.m. 7:30 p.m. 7:15 p.m. 6:30 p.m. 7:00 p.m. - Family Bible Hour Morning Worship Service - Evening Worship Service - Jr. & Sr. Youth Bible Study Olympians (starts Sept. 14th) - Adult Bible Study . , „ "The Church is not a o* K t Building, 5 People Touching 3 > People" Sunday 9:15 a.m. - Prayer Meeting 11:00 a.m. - Worship Service Phone 523-4875 308 Blyth Rd. E. ~ Pastor Les Cook 523-4590 Blyth United Church Corner of Dinsley & Mill Street Sunday, September 4 Worship Service 11:00 a.m. Minister: Rev. Robin McGauley ;4tt 'Wdcjmu, Office: 523-4224 Blyth United Church is a welcoming community of faith. We celebrate God's presence through worship and study, and through responding to the needs and gifts of each other. Sanctuary