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The Exeter Advocate, 1890-1-16, Page 3Growing Old Together. You, do not love me, dear, so muela; As you (lid long ago, When you use4 to praise my rosy oheeli, And forehead white aS MOW. You do pot zrnsla to kiss that cheek With all your Old -tame bre-- Perhaps, indeed, it as not zaow The ehook that you, admire. t Yeti de so t fdld me in your arms As oaten as of yore ; Your baud once dallied with my ourkett- It dal les there no more. And if I did not know my hair Was far plst girlhood's day, well could read it in our glance, That tells me I am gray. 'Yet deem not, love, that I upbraid; 13y your neglect appalled— 'or I—I loved you bet ter when You were not wholly bold; And were you as demonstrative As when you first did woo— phould cleoise sueh idiocy In an aged gent lake you. —Mrs. Y000tenvicz, in Christmas PM*. The spelling Class. •Stand hp. ye spellers, noW and spell; Spell phenakisteseope,and knoll: Or take amps simple word, as chilly, Or gauger, or the garden lily. To spell such words as syllogIsm, And lachrymose and synchronism, Azad Pentateuch aed saccharine, Apocrypha and celandine, Lactiferous and oecity, Jejune and homeopathy,' 12ara1yeis and chloroform Rhinoceros and pachyd rm. Metampsychosio, gherkins, badque, Is eertainly uo easy task. Kaleidoscope and Tennessee, Reanschatka and dispensary, Diphthong awl erysipelas, And etiquette and sassafras. Infallible and.ptyttlism, Allopathy and rheumatism, And cataclysm and beleaguer, Twelfth, eighteouth,rendesvous, intriguer, And hosts' of other Words ail found On English and on classic ground. Thus Behring t,traits and Michatelmaa, Thermopylm, Cordilleras, Suite, hemorrhage, jalap, Havana, Cinquefoil and ipecacuanha, And Rappahannock, Shenaudosh, And Schuylkill, and a thousand more Are words some prime good spellers miss In dictionary lands like this. Nor need one think himself a scroyle If some of these his efforts foil, Nor deem himself undone forever To miss the name of either river, • The Dnieper, Seine or Guadalquiver. The Atelanoboly Mule. Oh, mule ! Thou sad, neglected beast, Abused by num throughout thy days. No kiud tier loving deeds thou seest, But hardships follow all thy ways. Thou hast unjustly been accused Of kicking people jut for fun; But ha.dst thou not been =eh abused Thou wouldst not cruel things have done. Thy heart with kindliness iq rife; Though thou host very seldem heard In ell thr dreary, toilsome lite A,friendly, complimouVry word. But I to you will be a friend; No wrong shall meet you from my hand; Your graces shall my tongue commend ; Not mine t.) cudgel or (Hammond. And so upon your battered hide I lay a hand of wrong bereft— • The poet's friends are notified To call and get what little's left. AN Avain, EiLATTGETER. Ons Thousand Chicago People gilled at the “Oilrogs3 Crossinirs Binh** tOe Last Pour Teats (Chicago Nows,) In the yellowdeafed been in the coronerai offiee in which the names of aubjeate for inquestare put down as feat as they are reported were iecorded seven fatelitins at railroad orossinga thia morning. The fatelities did not all 000ur thee moreing but represented the work of tne &AMY loomootive during, the 'met terty.eight home. The list began with J 1). Revell, his Wife and latent onild, killed at Wilraette Cluistmaa eve. 'The next was an unknown women-cruelaed to death at 23rd street by a. Wabash engine. A Man aims° nettle Widi not given was reported killed at Western Springs. The information was telephoned to the coroner by the Chicago, Burlington ea Qainoy Rail- road company. The body of jellies Fisober, struck by a Milwaukee dr St. Paul tritin December 24th, awaited an inquest at the county hospital, where the victim died yesterday. Dr. Gandey, of 1593 Milwaukee avenue, • killed at Kedzie avenue this morning, com. pleted the list, Dr. Gandey was driving across the St. Paul tracks, when an engine bore down upon him, running into and instantly Inning him. He kayo a wife. Dr. Geodesy was about 38 years Of age. Chief Deputy Knopf Says the number of viotims of the railways gime last new year's is not less than 250,and there is till nearly aweek to farther inoreaae the liet. "Just think ot it," continued Deputy Knopf, who is also a State representative, "250 people killed in Mileage by the rail- roads in one year and 1,000 in four years! I tell you, it is a disgrace end a ehame. That is altogether too many lives to be sitorificed. Last year there were 200 peo- ple killed by the oars, and there is an in- crease of fifty for this year thue far." "What is the reason for this large num- ber of aocedents ?" " Why the trains are run too fast The ordivance is violated every day by the rail- roads ; in fact, there is eoarpely an attempt to conceal the fact that the speed ot twenty and twenty-five miles an hour is kept up right along inaide the oity limits by some roads." LOSING A DAY. ,Why the Globe Trotter Gets Mixed up Following the sun. A fair lady writes; Can't you explain shout gaining and losing a day when you go • round the world? Jules Verne,muddled me ell up and every one that tries to explain it makes my head go found, too." Certainly, ma'am only you must fix your mind on one thing at a time and not let it go a -wander- ing like the little pigs that wouldnit stand still long enongh to be counted. Well, then, there is no day lost or gained. What you will loae or gain if you go round the world (besides some pleasant company - wherefore, don't) is a date, not a day. In travelling westward, each date, commonly called a day, hides the fact that for ee,oh degree of longitude passed over you had added four minutes to the 24 hours. If at noon, when by custom you change your date, you find yonhave traversed 15 degrees, then yonr " day" has contained 25 hours • instead of 24. In going to the eastward, the conditiode would be reversed, and your date called a" day "would contain but 23 hours. Bat if you and your friend should stand back to back at New York, and start- • beg at the same instant walk straight round the world, eaoh walking exactly three miles an hour and never, stopping for anything, you would both meet and pass half way in exactly 3 500 henna, and you would again meet in New York in exaotly 7,009 hours. • State the time in hours and you will grasp it immediately. -New York Tribune. Thoughts. Enjoy what you ave;hhope for what you Let ne make no vows, but let; tut aot as we had.--Rochepedre. Our earthly blessings are but shadows of • blessings. -Dr. Pulsford. The more honest a man is the leas he effects the air of a saint.-Lavater. We are never as happy, nor as unhappy, as we fa noy.-La Rochefoucauld. To love is to admire witla the heart; to admire is to love with the mind. -T. Gautier. A philosopher is a fool who torments , himself during life, to be spoken of when deed.-D'ellembert. That lumpiness may enter into the soul we must first sweep it clean of all imegin- • ary evils.--Fontenelle. There is in us more of the appearance of sense and of virtue than of the reality.- . Marguerite de Valois. • From Paris to Peru, frorn Japan to Rome, the most foolish animal, in my estimation, is man. -Boileau. Promises retain men better than ser- • vices. For them, hope is a chain, and gratitude a thread. -se. Petit•Senn. "Have yon a remedy ?" "1 have what I believe to be one. In the Legislature last summer I introduced& Bill compelling all railroads to put gates un at every (messing. It got nowhere near being voted on, because the railroads had their agents down there and they 'fixed' the senators and representatives. The censo. quenoe was that the Bill was lost in the shuffle. With gates at every crossing I believe that trains could inn at 25 and 30 miles an hour with little or no riek to the people." ,.. Mayor Cregler was shocked when informed by an Evening News reporter that the deaths of seven ,people killed by the raelroade were reported this morning. " This running of trains inside the city limits," he said, " is a most diffiatilt prob. lem to solve, and doubtless it will take a great deal of experimenting before some practical plan is arrived at that will insure the maximum of safety to everybody. It is all very well to talk about compelling the railroads to run slowly, but tile raoment we put a check on the speed the people actually come en mane to protest against the loss of time they are compelled to undergo. We had a meeting of a special connoil committee and the railroads here some time ago and the question was dis- cussed in all its phases. The railroads • urged that they should be allowed to ran faster than the time allowed them under the old ordinance, which prescribes 10 miles an hour, because at that rateschool-boys, tramps, and any one else could jump on trains and steal rides and risk their lives, while at a faster rate they could not get on. I suggested that the oity be sutedivided, and that trains be allowed to run fast in thinly settled districts and be required to go slower in the more densely populated divisions. The matter was compromised by inserting a safety -gate clause in the ordinanne and fixing a rate of speed accord- ing to the distance from the centre of the oity. I believe that will help settle the question of so many deaths by the rail- roads, and I hope it will." " Have you nothing further to suggest toward stopping the frightful slaughter ? " "To my thinking," replied the mayor, "the only satisfamory solution of the mat. ter will be the introduction of elevated roads." Commiseiorer Purdy was quite surprised to hear that there had been so many semi. dents at the street comings recently. " That's quite an extraordinary num- ber," he said, " and I am at a loss to account for them all. I can't lay the blame to an insufficienoyof gate protection, for as fast as our attention has been callea to the need of a gate at ouch and such a creasing we have had the order pensed in the council and notified the company to pat ikup. None of them has been obstrep. erous or stubborn about it. We hold the whip hand in such matters, as you will see by the ordinanoe. There is .no general ordinance compelling gates to be put up at • all oroseings, but orders are passed from time to time" Row She tumbled. • A. little girl of tender years, who had been intending one of the public kinder- . gartene, fell from a ladder. Her mother caught hoe up from the ground in terror, - exclaiming, "Oh, darling, how 'did you fall 2" " Vertical," replied the child with. out a second's beeitation. A 9117,01aItt COOKY' SIOUNE. lite BottorIndlets is Vine os nineteen and a +Gomm on the Crowd. s verybody, in ()Wend knew Police Judge Laidlew ned been mu 9. howliug racket. The Plasm had recounted the otory of that wild debauch at the White House, end people woudered what the outcome would be. The +spree was fittingly coaoluded'yes. teeday by the arrest of Judge Laidiew and the imposition of. a fine of $50. The smu�. ing part of the affair is that the Judge ordered hie own arrest, &tea himself end alae Paid the fine. attendance in the Oakland Police Court There was rather more than the usual yeaterdey, and a ripple of excitement ran around tlae room when the Judge's voice was heard pronouncing the works " Mr. Bailiff, you will plane Alexender Leidlaw under arrest for violating an ordinance. Mr. 'addle* is released on his own recog- nizance," continued Judge Laidlaw. Ur, Clerk, you will enter.that name upon your docket, and he pleads guilty." Judge Laidlaw adjuated his glasses, took a roll • of menuseript from hiS pooket, slipped off the little elastic band, opened out the roll, and read as follows: "Mr. Clerk, you will please enter upon the doeket of this Court a charge of violat- ing an ordinance of the city of Oakland +spinet Alexander Laidlaw. To this charge I plead guilty, and before passing sentence I have thia to say -that I feel it my duty to make some statement of the facts con- cerning this cue. The oherges and allege. Urine as printed in the press ef this city are, to a certain extent, true. A number, however, are incorrect and untrue. That • I was drunk or, to use the langaege of the ordinence, 4 ander the influence cif intoxis eating bet:writ,' is true. That there was no palliation nor extenuation then, nor' is there now, for this offence, is also true. That the entire occurrenee is lamentable, sincerely and sadly regretted I can honestly state, and I do BO state I, who have at Isere day after day, week after week, and month after month, dispensing justice with an honesty of purpose, sense of justice, and every other motive of right that oan possi- bly actuate an honest men, cannot pass by this greatest offence of my, life. • Is it right ? Is it just? Is it honorable ? Is it honest to myself, or to the people of this oity, to permit myself to go unpunished for the commission • of an offence for whiela I punish others daily? My answer is, No 1 Emphatioelly, No I For a tramp or a vagrant, lost to the world, to hia home, to his family, to decency and shame, there may poeeibly be facime excuse in the commission of an offence of this character, but to one of my past standing in this community there is no excuse. Bat for the sake of one t hold so dear, and who inculcated those early precepts, which I shall never forget, deem myself in duty bound to snow my manliness and admit, frankly and sincerely, that I have committed a wrong, and ask forgiveness for the same. I have made this statement freely and voluntarily, add with a proper confederation of the fact that many a better man than I has put an enemy in his month to eteal away his brains,' but I sincerely hope thet this affair may serve as a warning to all snob as are beset by that OfIrS8 of modern civilization -drink. Upon a repetition of this offense I +shall not ask for mercy, neither will I expect it. In conclusion; I wish to exonerate and exoulpete all persons from any blame whatsoever whose names have been coupled with mine in this unfortunate affair. The sentence of ,the court is that the defendant pay it fine of $50, with the usual alternative.' ettkawhoror, osweoduroethwyi,whionr shit imeerelithcaityneslaiyved to -day. The Judge olosed this remarkable pro. , -Dryden. oeeding by banding over to the clerk 650 to Wiao ktiows whether the gods will add save himself from 50 days' sojourn in the county jail. -San Francisco Atla. • to•morrow to the present hour? -Horace. / Ring out old shapes of foul disease; Ring out the narrowing lust of gold; Ring out the thousand wars of old; • Ring in the thousand years of peace. -Tennyson. At Niagara. Old Mr. Teat y (returning to his room • after paying his hotel bill) -Don't touch me 1 I'm not sure &bent nig inenlation, and I've just been so heavily. charged that „I'm darigerons I 1 don't believe you love me any longer,' eobbed a loving young wife to her husband a year after niftrriage. "Love yon, my dose ; Why, don't I eat all your pion without questioning their con, • tents ?" And she was dorivinced C of his • faithfulnese. ' • VOlt 1i1IVZN1713 ONLY• ThEM0113011v030 ask for sampleof silk, • Make the dry.goods atterchant feel lonely, • For he is in favor, with his friends of that ilk, • Of a tear -off for revenue only. -.The Maffei() Courier seys a ixtati wil • take anything for a holiday predent that a tvoman wants to give him--enything except a necktie, bedritaio "not one woman a in ten Oen piek ont for a Man a necktie that he will dare to Wear in it place where he is known." -Stiff' bouquets for the dinner tetble have -entirely, gone out, Awful Result of a Current Insanity. Sunday &hoot Teaoher-Who was it that went down to Jericho and fell among thieves 7• Smart Pupil -You can't 'play it teacher. Yoa want me to say I don't know and then asa you, and then you're goieg to spring McGinty auto me. .Yon can't play no Mo. Ginty drives on me. The yeller Wouldn't Tell. Farmer Oatcake (at back window) -I eay, kin ye tell me—" Mr. Cashreore-Go to the next window if you want any information. " Thunderation 1 I'd like to know whet you've got that sign • Teller' over yonr head for any way?" • • A Horse Joke. " Ha ?" whinnied the horse. "We ought to be able to get out even' though the stable door is looked. We have a key here. 4' What kind of one ?" bettered an twain the next stall. "Why, a donkey." ea Stayathome-What are you goieg to give yonr huebend for a Christmas present? Mo. leewler-I -think I shall gave him a nice hanging lamp for the parlor. And yon? Mrs Stayathome-Oh, I am going to give my husband such a pretty tensyrna rug to pat in front of the sitting -room fireplace. • TO 'Wong AGAIN, • Yule Is come, and Yule is gone, And we have toasted well; •Ele Jack must to hie flail again, And Jenny to her wheel, -,Antique P0501. VleOlaAaloW lendelania OR B*Taa hiCemsoing the Farmers Despite all Neaps to Kill Thens. The pique of rate from which more than ope of oar agrioultural distriote is at w- ont offerine tbreeteots to assume serious proportions. In at Lothian, though the vermin have been destroyed by the thou. fiend, and all the terriers, steel traps and pheephoroue paste in the neighborhood are in requisition, their numbers exhibit iao appreemble dimioution, while from the Fen dietriet, in Lineolnabire, it is reported that they have never boeu eo nenteroue or deetruotive. The potato pits are invaded, the turnip fielda continue a browsing ground for tee +warm of rodents, and every gran- ary bas been compelled to pay an un- willing tithe to the horde which has over. spread the country. Since "Hamelin Town in Brunswick Land" was afflicted in a eimilar fashion, reach a pest hal seldom bon heard of. It is true that, for the present; the vermin have not fought the dogs and killed the oats, and bit the babies in their oradles,and ate the cheese out of the vats, and licked ,the soup from the cooks' own tulles," but they are in a fair way to accomplish all these misdemeanors unless their career is brought to a speedy close. Indeed, the rats seem to have come to stay. Unlike finch vernain generally, they are burrowing holes by the roadaide, and when we remember the amazing rapidity with which they mule tiply, it is hard to say whether we should wish the farmers of Lincolnshire and East Lothian a severe winter or an open one. For though the froet might drive the rata from the fields, it would certainly force them to seek the shelter of the stable or .byre, while an absence of frost would favor theirsincrease, Meantime, the naturalist who is not au ownet or cultivator of the SOU cannot fail to feel a certain qualified interest in the latest inroad, which is simply one more attempt on the part Of nature to assert itself. It is a protein against the persevering efforts of civiliza- tion to destroy the balance of life, since that undue increase of rats must be traced to the destruction of the birds of prey, weasels, stoats, and other animals which harry them, just as the multiplioation of weakling ,grouse has not unreasonably been attribatea to such feeble fledglings being afforded, owing to a similar cense, an extra chance in the struggle for existence. - London Standard. Suitable to the Day. Esoh passing year robs us of some p08 - session. -Horace. Time steels on and escapes SIS, like the swift river that glideon with rapid stream. -Ovid. Wnile strength and years permit, endure labor; soon bent old age will come with silent toot. -Ovid. •Since long life is denied as, we should do something to show that we have lived. The life of the dead is planed in the memory of the living. -Cicero. 0, oall back yesterday, bid time return. -Richard II. He who knower most, grieves most for wasted time. -Dante. Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. No man has learned anything rightly until he knows that every day to doomeday.-Emerson;\ Years folloveng years, steal something every day; At last they steal us from ourselves away. -Pope. Happy the man, and happy he alone. He who caa 11 to day h • Pointsktro; 4t.;be,Freate2nneacioWnbie:;:eepna.swene:Rthotor Their Brows. Minneapolis wood -carvers get $3 day. San Francisco tanners are fighting the employment of Chinese. Brooklyn granite cutters get e3.50 per day; nonninion mem $2 50. Eight.bour meetings are being held throughout the couutry. Dr. McGlynn will dump California on the single tax. • Siok benefit feieds are being added to various unions. boot - makers. Eng., Ira 10,000 looked out heOt• Douglass county (Kamm) farmere unions are boyaottiug dressed beef dealere • The salaries of Cleveland policemen were out to meet a deficiency of $90,000. Over 100 retail limier dealers of New York will run a oo-operative brewery. The Toledo eigarrnakers will este the Legislature to legslize the union label. Greeneburg, (Pa.) plasterers demand §3, nine hours and eight on Saturday. Oaly the carpenters are expeoted to strike for eight hours at Cleveland. English workingmen are electing work- ingmen to municipal bodies. All the barber ahops at Cleveland except one were closed on Sunday. Boston freestone cutters have been granted an eiglinhour day at 44 cents all hour. They will demand 50 cents in April. The Grand Repids Barbene Union fines 50 cents for smoking a noa-uuion cigar and expels at the third offence. In New South Wales the bosses' Amal- gamated Miners' Union has agreed to hire none bat union hands. The beer license in New York is $50. Only a few are selling below the union rate of 10 cents per pint. Mexico has plaoed a prohibitory tax on drummers from the United States or other countries. Co-operative bakeries started by Newark and Brooklyn , strikers are highly littO• cessful. Indiana railroaders struck against an order forbidding them to loiter around ealoons. The Brooklyn Carriage and Waggon - makers` Union fined members al eon for riding in carriages at a faneral driven by non -anion men. The Newark Stoneoutters' Union has been stied to compel it to admit two appli- cants to membership, and damages are claimed. The union decided to admtt no members for a year. The Brooklyn boss plumbers and gas - fitters and the journeymen's unions have respectively agreed not to employ any non- union workers and not to work for non- union employers. Yorkshire (Eng.) green glass-blowers hteve gained 30 per +rennin wages in a year. In this country 1,800 green gleareblowere have been locked out since July for not accepting a cat of 25 per cent. A. Paterson (N.J.) thread firm employe 1,200 hands, and has a factory in Linburn, Ire., which employe 3,000, and one in Ger- many which employs 1,000. The flax used Peterson comes from Ireland. The number of mining macbinee in Illinois is declining. Machine operators get $2.25 to $2 50; helpers, $1 75; blasters, $2; loaders, $1.75; timbermen, ; drill- ers, $2; and laborers, el 50 to $1.75. Is the Soul Material ?' Rev. Dr. Joseph Cooked Boston, who lectured here some months ago, preached in Talmage's Brooklyn Church on Sunday. Among other things he is credited with saying: "Louisa May Alcoa watching with her mother by the deathbed of a dying eed dearly loved sister, seys, when the end oame, she distinctly 'sew a delicate mist rising from the dead body. Her mother, too, saw this strange thing. When they asked the physician about it he said, 'Yon saw life departing visibly fromthe physical form.' This was at Concord, remember, where there is no superetition. "Professor Hitohoock says he was pres- ent at the bedside of a dying friend. The eyes closed: the lot breath ceased : he was dead. Suddenly the eyes opened, light cameback to them, then a look of surprise, . admiration, mexpressible blies : then sod- denly passed away. "Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes, in the pre. face to a book on visions, says, with all a scientist's conservatism, that once, watoh- ing by a deathbed, the impression was con- veyed to him that something -that is the word he uses -passed from the body into space. "1 am citing from eta own times -a scientific, ansuperatitions age, not as in the time of Christ, when, as Mrs. Ward says, there was an omnipresent belief in the mirevalons. "Physicians say that sonambuliem is a state in which the soul is partly separated from the body. your soot will soon go hence. You are not at ease here today. Will you be at ease then? " ' After some more waltings and sleep. lugs,' says Ralph Waldo Emerson I shall lie on this couch asleep, then dead, and through my gay entry men shell (may these bones. Where shall I be then ?' " .-The Rev. Ildward Abbott, who has been elected rreesitinery bighop to Jeipan, is said to be the original " Rollo " of the Rollo Itoolte," wtitten by hie father, laceb Abbott. A Patriotic Scot. Walter &Jett tells the story of a black- smith in the south of Sootland who disap- peared from the range of vision of the great novelist, and was found afterwards practising meclioine in an English city. The astonished novelist asked the black- smith if he knew anything about the heel- ing arnand the latter aoknowledged tlaat he did not, but trusted mainly to two simples laudanum and calomel." "Simples with a vengeance," mid Scott; "dean you kill more than you cure? Perhaps I do," returned the pettiotio blacksmith, "but it will be a long time before I make up for the Soots+ that the English killed at Flodden." • Truthful. „ Customer -I bought it piece of calico from you the other day, and yen said the colors were fast. Clerk -4 remember it, madam, • " Well; when I'' wet the ealioo,the 'mien came out at once." • " Certainly ; I knew they wouldn't be elow about it. laid you come for more. , e Sentiment versus Feet. • 11,p ros-She : How beatttiful the snow ie 1 ' The falling flakes seem almost like angel& feathers. • , 7 a. tr.-He: Say, darling, coins out and helm shovel off those angels' feathers, will y m . • , Peanuts nre new deolitred by an eneinen Philadelphia physioied to be an exoellent brain food. Hem is a pointer for Tory editers., The irrevocable Hand That opes the year's fair gate, cloth ope and shut The portals of our earthly destinies; We walk through blindfold, aud the noiseless 'doors Close after us, forever. -D. M. Mutock. Few things surpass old wine; and they may • preach Who please—the more because they preach in • Yalta— . Let us have wine and women, mirth and laugh- ter, Sermons and soda -water the day after.—Byron Come, gone—gone forever— Gone as an unreturning river, Gone as to deatn the merriest liver, Gone as the year at the dying fall, To -morrow, to -day, y-sterda.y, never, Gone once for ail,--chrtstina G. Rossetti. Old time, in whose bank we deposit our notes, Is a miser who always wants guineas for groats; He keeps all his customers still in arrears. By lending them minutes mid charging them years. —klobnes. Everything that has a beginning comes to an end.--Quintilian. Curious Will of the Late Earl of Orkney. The principal provisions of the will of the late Earl of Orkney are published. Several of them are of is peculiar character. The personalty of the &mimed is stated at over £60,000. The late Earl, who died at his London residence on the 21st October, aged 62 years, doireci tbat his body be placed in a shell, a leaden coffin, and is strong oak coffin, and taken for burial in the vet& of Baron de Vahl at Hensel Green Cemetery in "an old fashioned closed hearse, so that the body may not be seen," that no flowers should be placed in the coffin or in the grave, and that only a few intimate friends and relations shpuld be invited to the funeral. He desired that the locket which he wore round his neok with a portrait of his wife should be buried with him. • Something About Laughing. "Those," says a keen observer of the oaohinnatory habits of mankind, " who laugh in A are frank, faithful, love bristle and movement, and sometimes are versa- tile and changeable. "Laughter in E ie only found among the phlegmatic and melancholy. " Lengter in I is that of children, in- genuous people, those devoted to the in- terests of others, •the timid and the irresolute. , " Lenglater in 0 ; edicates generosity and boldness. "Mold those who laugh in U," obeerves our mentor in oonolusion, "as they are euro to be misanthropes." leaturen Freaks. Nide Clara (Looking at Mr. Crowley, of Central Parls)-What a very droll little creature, and so ugly 1 Youlag Mr. Sissy -Yes, Mise Clara, we are fearfully and wonderfully made. -If you crack a Kentucky chestnut you are sure to find a colonel. -Sleigh makers saythere's snow profit in their beano++ thia winter. -Peeping over the height of re fdr Isoe eround a win' neck, a white „linen collar looks chit.• '• Fianna uoNsuuste • There was a young woman named Hannah, • Whet pat 00 9. groat many aim, She etepped on a peel of banana, And now ehe's laid up for repine. -Dolan allOw yourself te be earriea away with enthusiasm -yon they have to walk back. ow the Blhitaidte Convinced a Womito Tha ao v0v: ninTeliol:orsotto4 All but one Eight in a Fifth avenue Otago wan ()coupled when a fresh -Need young reet got in and ottled sweetin hate a 'mane opium, says a New Yorle letter to the Indieue.polia Journal. She found the ponein her * veryesotroy letaom i sll eItiernt tea, it ,,,0 trR/7308,n ijatiOtr ta ittevitahle manner of ber sex, produced 04 25 -cent piece. No women, let it be nide was ever known, to Vmas tbe requisite 6 - cent piece in an onapihus. They caw" youngqr te rgee uf ot ire tmheeris tole len; pohango feorrintithteinnig. This particular maiden &armed to be fete tieg appoSite an exquisite youth who +Mee a brillibnt figure in the seleMeet cirolee of sooioty here, and it was natural that he sItoold be the one who respanded to the coy War.ce of her eyes and relieved ber of her e Itward coin. With all the grace for which he is remarkable he passed the money up to the driver, and, after waiting the usual time, received the envelope in return. Ls is the custom in these oases, be tore open the envelope and handed theli change to the righttul owner. But then, instead of placing the nickel in the fare box, he quietly put it in bia own pocket and. ZOSUMed hiS Seat. Of cemirse no ope said a word, not even the fair meld herself. Bat every one iri the stage detected tee action and wondered at such a goodeooking youlag gentleman being guilty of such an insignifiaant theft. Presently the driver discovered tient a fare was missing from the box. He immedi- ately benne ringing his bell at a terrifia rate end the 00011pailt9 of the stage smiled in erabarrassment at one another. The pretty girl looked oat of the window and stole pained and horrified gleamee at the criminal who sat opposite. Suddenly he realized what he had done. Drops at cold perspiration started . from •his brow' and he grew palefrom mortification. Every soul in the stage, including the innocent - eyed girl, believed that he- wee nothing else than an elegant burglar. Onee sharp - featured woman remarked to her equiRy sharp -featured friend in a whisper loud enough for every one to hear: " He's a thief, Maria." • The young man looked quickly up at the speaker. Then drawing a $2 bill from a. large roll that he took from his waistcoat pooliet he paesed it up to the driver. An envelope came back. Opening it he selected. a 5.cent piece from the bandfnl of coin and dropped it into the box. Then turning to the woman who had called him a thief, he said: "Madam, I think I was absent-minded enough a moment ago to put into my pocket the bill you gave me to pay yonr fare from. I beg your pardon, and here is your change complete, I assure you, though coming a little late in the day." With theee words he let the money fall into the astonished woman's lap and hastily left tbe stage. He had fully vindiosted himself, and the sweet maid who had been the innocent cense of the entire situation watched him out of sight with admiring epee, Cure Your Catarrh, or Get 9)500. For many years, the proprietors of Dr. Sage's Catarrh Remedy, who are thoroughly responsible, financially, as any one elm easily ascertain by proper enquiry. have offered, in good faith, through nearly every newspaper in the land, a ,standing rewind of $500 for a case of nasal catarrh, net matter how bad, or of how long stencling. which they cannot care. The Remedy. which is Bold by druggists at only 50 cents, is mild, soothing, cleansing, antiseptic; and healing. Bound to be Prepared. Wife (to husband about to go to Neve York) -Land sakes! John, why are yea packing all these things in your trunk Here are rubber boots, rubber gloves, a rub- ber coat, and even a rubber hat. Do you expect a deluge? Husband -None of those eleotrio light wires nre going to hill me. I'm going to ber ineulated. The Detroit Trades Council bits in- dorsed the demand of the Barbers' Union: No work on Sundays. On week days from 730 a.m. to 8.30 p.m., except on Setnrday, when work will be continued until midnight. Also that ten cents per shave and twenty-five cents for a hair out be:the prices charged and collected. John Barns says 1889 was the brightest year for Great Britain's workingmen since 1848. In London alone 300 trades have gained ehorter hours and increased pay. The gas stokers gained 50,000 members and reduced their hours from 12 to 8. The bakers had their hours reduced from 100 to to 60 per week, besides an advance in wages. Over 200,000 men were added to the membership of labor unions. In Chemnitz, Germany, weavers of tick- ing get $1.50 per week, 1 ustian weavers e2, sewers $1.25, corsetmakers 20 to 25 cents per day. At Bremen male wes,vere earn from 03 to $3 75 per week, women $1.25 to $2. In Silesia the average falls to 29 cents per day. Berlin engineers make from 75 cents to el per day. Workers in glassware and porcelain make less than 70 +tante per day. These figures are from a report of the Chemnitz Chamber of Commerce. Thomas Evans, the Fall River cotton. worker, saya a fret -class weevee in England on four looms weaves 1,100 yends a week, and is paid $6. In Fall River the average is eight looms and 2,160 yarde for $9.12. Within a few years the Fall River men have been out 40 per cent. while English operatives have gained slight advances. He says sods' enjoyment is cheaper and more abundant than in America. In France cotton operatives work eleven hours; Germany a little more. Wages run from e1.50 to $2 a week, and "the Ameri. oan laborer coald not exist with what they live on.'' It's Walt. She was a young woman of an inquiring turn of mind on her way home from college, and during a delay at a station she walked up and down the platform oalonlating tee ponderabilities. "1 wonder," she said to ber papa, "what is the weight of this train ?" " Really, my dear, I nmuldn't say, but "-- " I know what itis," interrupted an im- patient drummer, its about four hours and a half." Then the girl went in and oat down to think awhile. Conaparisona Are Odorous. Reginald -Oh, Marie I take back those cruel words I Do not drive me to despair Nothing oan be stronger than my affeation for you I Marie (with averted fitoe)--Yoti err, Reginald; there can be -there is. I per- ceived it the moment you made your declaration! Reginald (oanazsd)-What ? Merles -Your breath, sir. You've been taking brandy and cloves." Did you ever; No I never. Eiee'd &feller. Half so yeller. How's your liver? Why, all upset, of course. Then take th Remedy, Dr. Pierce's Golden Medioel Dist- covery, and yoa won't go around looking the color of a yeller fever viotim. It means good-bye biliousness, headache, loet appetite, sour stomach, indigestion, , im- purities of the blood, and counelese miseries of suffering humanity. It is guaranteed to benefit or euro in every Carle of damage for which it is recommended, or money paid for it will be refunded. After the Proposal. "Before I go," he said, in broken tones, "I have one last request to naake of 'yore° "Yes, Mr. Sampoin ?" said she. 'When you return my presents, please prepay the express charges. I cannot afford to pay any more on your aocountre Never Heard of "Davy Crockett's Coon" r That's queer I Well, it was like this: Col. Crockett was noted for his skin as di marksman. One day he leveled his gen at a raccoon in a tree, when the animal, know- ing the Colonel's prowess, cried oat, " Hallo, there! Are you Davy Crockett? If you are, I'll just come down, for I know I'm a gone 'coon." Just take a dose of Dr. Pion:nee Pleasant Purgative Pellets, and see how quickly your bilioasnese and indigestion will emulate the example of "Davy Crockettei coon," and " climb down." They are specifics for all derangements of the liver, stomach and bowels. Burne -Jones' "greatest work is nearly finished. It will be a series of four cologne pictures deaoribing the sleeping beauty. a. AN important suggestion has been mean to the British Government id the matter of handling the American mails, Thepro- pool is to embark and land these 'nails at Hollyhead, North Wale% instea otat Queenstown as heretofore. It is cesinted in favor of the change that it would he more convenient, quite as expeditious end much more economical than the present arrangement. The leading eteednehip companies are disposed to look favorably' on the Scheme, as the handling of the milli at Hollyhead would be easier and involve leo delay than at Queenstown. ilinnailMeNICSEN D. 0, N. L. 3.90, Robert Carter, founder of the well.known New York pnblishing heron who died last Battu:ally at the age ot 82, was a Scotch. man. He Satin Id America when a young men ro.a was a tutor in Columbia oollege, end efterwends founded a priest+) +taboo'. At the time of his death he wits a &meter of the American Bible ficmiety. -A foreign title ie not a good present for is young WOMart to begin the year with, bet:Anse the man attached to it is not only worthless bat exceedingly expensive. Bettee bay a dog, A GENTS MAKE $100 A MONTII ix. with us, Send SOIL for tunas. A isolined nag pattern and 10 colored dealams. W. atill HUSH, St, Thomas, Out. 1HE, COOK'S BEST FRIENB