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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Exeter Advocate, 1890-1-2, Page 7liOTES OF WEDDING TRIP Vbat Transpired in the Pill!wan State -111)0m at the iJeginning of the Journey, SLIGIVeld,AiratiONIAL BEEZE ' 'n -none° How tue Gro4nils weakness Toi Tobacco Provoked a Little Tempeat of Tears. Scene -A Pallraan etate-room, , (Enter porter, conducting 1)64.4i tenor - made travelling dress and the leit' (stage of saleaustion, also groom. •Outeide the last Good-hnt 'Kitty I" and "So long, Od man 1" drift away beleinn the etarting The Porter -Dia is ye's, 'soh. On de sunny side, an' all nine an' qui't. An' byar's ye' b'gage. Shawl -strap, two hum- ban:tilers, an' a bag, an' anudder bag, an' anudcler bag, an' anudder bag-fo' bags. T'anke, sah. Right outside, ef you want anyt'ing. (Exit the .porter.) The Bride (dropping into her seat)-- - Ali -h -h • The Groom (dropping into his)--Oh-h-h 1 (Interval of einem, during which groom, putting his hand to left upper waistcoat pocket, withdraws it guiltily on catching bride's eye.) The Groom (with Apologetic haste) - No, no, Kitty; I wasn't thinking of it - at least, not for some time yet, I mean. I wars merely looking to see if they were There. ' The Bride (petulantly) -0h, go and smoke, if you like. But I ehouldn't suppose that you'd want to so soon. - The Groom -And I don't. Onlynee I baven't had a cigar since morning— The Bride -Yon do want to 1 I thought so. Go and awoke! The Groorn-But horteetlyeKitty , The Bride (quite crieply)-And I should ranch prefer tbat you wouldn't. f3till,•einoe you seem to crave At— • The Groom -Why, if you wieh me not leaened °nothing since we have been in thie car," Tne Groona-" Whiob ie---" The Bride (with a myeterioue, yet tender anile)-" That we're married, dear 1 I wouldn't have dared aot so before."-klan- ley PT. Pike in Puck, The Bride neith decipio9-1 'certainly do. Go and smoke! . • The Grboni-No, indeed (Seeman 'Bride Unisys eeveral long, irreg- ular breaths.) , • The Groom (glancing at her uneasily) - What is it? Ihe Bride (drawing another) -Nothing. (Rause.) Oh, nothing. (Pause.) Nothing whatever, (Pause.) What hotel do you intend etaying 'at The Groom -Colossus, I think, if that snits y Ott. The Bride -Oh, anything waits me -- anything. I3ut I fancied we were going to the Leviathan. Tbe„ Groom -Very well, therewe The Bride (sighing) -I've always dieliked She Leviathan ever since a waiter there brought inc Biigar with nay Order for .• bettnce. The Groom -I said the Colossus, you remember. The Beide-And I perfectly hate the (Woman \I've told you often how the hall porter stoped me and leaked if I were a guest of the house or not. Why— The Groom patiently) -Well, then, there° only one other houee-the Mont°. don. Tnr Bride (throwing up her hands) - Oh, flon't-please don't 1 That was where oomfbody committed snioide-suloide- when Aunt Martha was staying there Suicide! Oh! Pernapte we might have thenvery room'. Oh i The Groom (stoeily)-Then where are TOE CARE OP A PSAmo. --- a ia W11to,Keen Growing Intent in the "It i8 5 nonnlan oetimithat niaeoe ought to be kept very dry, eaye a mowed than in the Nail and Express. Nothiog count he mere fallacious. Pianos are not nearly BO MIK& OffeCt ea by heat or cold as they are by dryness, and reversely, by dampness. la not generally kpown that ,the sonuding- hoard, the We of a piano, is forced into the ease when it is made so tightly that it bulgee up in the centre, on the same prin- ciple as a violin. The wood is sopposecl to be an dry as possible, hat, of entree, it coo - tains Berne moisture, and gathers more on damp days and in handling. Now, when a piano is put into an overheated, dry room all this moisture is dried an, and the board loses its shape and gets flabby and cracks. Even if it doesn't crack the tone loses its resonance and grows thin and tinny, the felt oloth and leather used in the action dry up, and the whole imechine rattles. "How will yon prevent this 2" "Keep a growing plant in your room, and so long Ma your plant thrives your piano ought to, or else there, is something wrong with it. It should be noted how much more watsr will have to he poured into the flower -pot in the room where the piano is than in any other room." wet° stay ? • The Bride (much irritated) -How should I know? It's a man's, business to decide these things. For my part, I am willingto go anywhere, as you see, and I think it's extremely inconsiderate 'of you to trouble nee with questions about hotels,.I really do. The Groom (bewildered) --Why, is was ' you who asked the queatione. Yon goid- The Bride (shiveririg nnd, violentInnith- bing the carpet with her foot) -1 said 1 If that isn't like you, Frank! You're always and forever recalling what I'Ve midl I'm oontinuelly• saying somethings., Why, if I paid any attention to what I Hey I Wouldn't have Bald scores of thinge I have. -,I wouldn't have said— . The Groom (losing hie temper, and no wonder) -Go on. I know- whet you mean. You wouldn't have said " Yes, ' when I • asked y on to marry me. •' The Bride (desperately) -Non I wpuldn't (Precipitating hereself upon the groom and holding him fast.) Oh, 1 would, Frank, I would, -1 would, I would 1 Oh, yon poor, dear old fellow, can't you see there isn't a single'solitary grain of common 'sense left in me? 1 haven't sat down an indent to- day, and I've been dressed and undrened and sermonized and congratulated and cried over and advised and hurried abotit, from the house to the church and from the • church to the - house, and from the house to the station and from the etation into the oar, and I'm so tired and nervous and trembling and MRS and headachy and perfectly horrid, and -I'm enrprisenyou don't hate me, and I know you do, and ,n ebould think you would, and I love you ten tholutand million times more than I ever did in My life -rib, boohoo, boo -boon boo• boo, unnton-h, boo-hoo 1 • . The Groom (in agonW-Ilitty I Don't Kitty. •' • ' The Bride (continuing to weep) -I haven't •. been so happy till day-boo-hoo 1 This •„doesn't mean anything -I'm crying Waimea I can't help ithoe.hoo 1 -and I'm feeling better already-boo.boo I I knew that it must come -that I'd got, ton -have it out - only you would keep arguing with me -just like a man -and you haven't the lent idea -' bow handsome yon look when you're vexed -and I was wishing all the time that you'd get savage quicker, to that we might have it over sooner -ha, ha, hal ' The Groom (recovering a little) -Then yon don't actually mired ,going to the Co. The Bride (laughing airily) --What tue ideal Of counsel It's a lovely hawse! The Groom -Or the Leviathan? The Bride (laughingritan)--Thot either. I like it immensely. •, The Groom -Or the Mastodon-? T.he Bride (with a, third laugh -Why, „yen} Aunt Martha says ite really splendid'. The Groom (onzzlee)-linin— The Bride (Beizing his °hitt tned 'shaking 10-e yeenoolieh boy} , Don't yon under- stood that the Sugar and , the hall -porter and the man Who niorarnitied onioide, Were --Were-well, tat they were a part dr. the nest of it ?” The Groom-" And yon aotually won't mind if I smoke a oigannsometime ?" • The Bride (radiently)4n nn}nd Why; , I should have proposed ifitnyeelf in another • naciond, if you'd only let me alone, and then •I'd have got entirely through With then- Shirry-before you 08,018 baelt. Piens° go now, while 1 bethe my eyest 111111 Ax my belt, and get presentable egain-rrwon't you please?'1 (Prolonged embrace end complete reoon, *Ration.) . The Bride (au groom is reluotantly leav. •' Irronki deer, you • might to have LORD CECIL'S WILL The Bequests Bade by the Late Evangeliat. A 0014IOAL COLUMN. 1Ringl88 TO Hu IsInknonn Scarcely a Crowned Head with Perfect Stealth, Fun Made to Order by the Newspaper MEASLES, witoornio-ootion, aTc. Qlet BeoheenAnd were yen *ler in love; Miss Donnie° ? Maid Dennice ,-.Never ;' but ' I've had everything elee. ALL DOR LOVE. Marie --I am willing to marry you, Charles, even if you are poor; but do you thinkyou dem take care of me, anyway? - 0/tax1ess-Oh, darling, by thin strong right sem raised to heaven, I swear that I will support you always, even if 1 have to take in washing for you to do. And they, were married. - MUM18y18 IUUBT HAVE BEEN MISTAKEN. Porter -The Boren is not . at home, but yors can leave the bill if you see proper- • Visitor -Bill I have no bill. I want 'to eee him. • Porter -What, no bill 1 -My dear sir, you moat be mistaken in the number of the house. • • • READY FOR HI% " GerItIODIOD,” rEltiaT110a, the stranger who bad galloped out ct town on a steal • gray gelding a few hours ber.ore the vigi- lantes caught up with him, "1 wee brought up an Episcopalian ;, will SOMe one kindly loan men prayer -book betore this goes any further 2" The chairman said he didn't believe there was ODO in the crowd, but they could aceonamodate him with a noose halter. They aid Bo, and it quieted him-- Rardetti. ' ROUGH ON 31EIE PROFESSOR. • Lord Eustaoe Cecil, the evaegelist, un- fortunately drowned in Canada lain sum - men has willed away bis money with a due regard to thew high interests to which he devoted his energies. The English papers pnblieh the terrns of the will: The testator bequeaths to the British and Foreign Bible Society, £2,000; to the In- land Chime Mission, bavine offices at Pyr- mont road, Mildmay, £500 ;'and to Mr. Christopher Mare Adam, of Cambridge gardens, Notting )2111; Mr:Dennis Lambert -- Higgins, of High Littleton, and Captain James Talbot, of the Rifle Brigade,9,000 in trust for such poor Christienll and such servants of Jesus Christ, in the British Isles, France, Germany, Spain, Portugal, Sweden, Russia, Syria, Canada and- the United States of America as they, in their absolute and ,nneontrolted distnetion, may think fit. He bequeaths to his sister, Lady, Victoria Enants•Freke, ••- £1,00 ; to Henry ' Harman, of Bourne, shoemaker, .O5n) ; to George Cutting, of Stamford, Henry ineinh Hooke'of Worksworth, and Capt. Hugh Talbot, of the 5141 Regiment, n2,000 each ; and to Mr. James Dunlop, £1,000. The residue of hie property (the pereonal estate being to the valeta of Z21,381 1084 the tes- tator leave to Mr. Dunlop. • A W01138.21'13 Weapon. • Professor (to a studeut who had on in the lecture hall a lond cravat inetend of a white one) - These loud oeavete are becord- Ag 'very fashionable, it some. Student -Yea, professor, that's so. • Professor (severely) -But they are not worn in the presence of gentlemen• . Student (somewhat confused) -No, pro- fessor, they never are. : • = • • SHE WENT AliD DIED. When we remember that nearly a hon. dred workmen-tbat is, nearly a Ltundred separate processes -are required !or' the making of every needle threaded, 7rcui the construction of the coil online sten %vire to the last polishing of the point, the facility with which we nee, lose and 'break needlee, and the n napnese wi n which we buy them, border ripen tne business • Alma.' din's lamp. It is °wily about 200 years that we have had our little steel needle, they having been brought in from Spain as a luxury in the " Great Elize's " reign, but not enter- ing into common manufacture till 100 years later. They were then a very °Ramey thing • in comparison with the shining little rapier of to.day, wonderful improvements having been means in the delicate moonier:Aura since that time. The needles found in old tombs, such as those whose age is supposed to be numbered by thousands of years, were of bronze and of a very coarse sizs ; but needles of some atilt more primitive design were undoubtedly need by the older notione, and they must bave ,been :slender ones that sewed the nelioste mewling of the Chaldean and Indian women, end of those of the Assyrian, Egyptian and the farther • east; although, izethe earliest periods of all 'peoples, doubtless bones and thorns were pasIe to serve the purpose.-Harper's Bazar: 'First young lady -Did Yon hear about Mande? Woman it too bad? ° , Second young lady -No I • What? Where? Do tell me 1 I'm nest dying to know, , First young lady -Why, You know she was going to be married next month, and had :her trousseau half 'done,- when her dresemaner, the only one in town who can give, her a good fit, had to , go and die. Wasn't it provoking? Mande nearlynried her eyes out. Second ditto -The horrible old thing! Poor Mande! How I feel for her 1 THE MAIDEN'S PRAYER. Young Mies Wilgus -Where are you going, papa? Rev tan , Wilgus -To -the temperance meeting. We intend to iningurate a move - menet to save the young Men of the coun- try. ' 'Young Miss Wilgus -Try and save a real nice one for me, will yon, papa, dear ? ' • SHE DIDN'T qIIITE 'UNDERSTAND. "May I ask you if you were present at the Creation ?" inquired the oourtlyt gen, tleman. " Sir I" said the elderly maiden, blushing with quion indignation, "I do notunder- stand whet you mean." ,• Nothing, ma'am, nothing. .1 pimply wished to' inquire if you attendeci the oratorio by the Choral Society on ,Wedn day lest." AN INFALLIBLEtaGN. • Mr. Benedict -Well, I gnus it will -clear off and be pleasant • hire. Benedict (deoidenly)-Oh, no, it won't. • "But, my dear, the sun is piercing the clouds, the air is, braSingn autt'the sky is beautifully blue. ,Why do you think it will continue to rain?" " My corn aches." • • , OBTUSE Killed off all the Buffalo. • Twenty years ago there roamed over the plains and monntaine of the far West nearly 8,000,000 buffaloes, Bays the Waeh- ington Post. To.day there are lese than -500 head of the animals in existence. There has never been such an almost utter exter- mination of any speoies of animals linowsi. Had hunters gone to work to syetemati- °ally exterminate the species they could not have been more succeed -al. Had the buffalo been a wild enimal doing infinite damage to persons and property he could not have been hunted down and uselessly and wantonly alangleteredwith more avidity. • • - To -day the species is dying ont. There are but eighternive head of wild buffaloes, 304 elive in coptivity and about 200 under the eproteotion of the Government in Yellowstone Park. There is also said to be about 550 head in the British proses. slow, north of Montana, but this is a mere rumor and the unverified report is not given much credence by those who - are posted on the haunts and habits of the shaggy 'Foto. There is a Happy Land,. Andrew Young, the author of "There is ,a Happy Land," died a fortnight ago at his home in Edinburgh at the age of 82. He was & vigorous old, man who was able to address a public meeting of children as recently as laet summer. He wrote the famous hymn to fit the melody, an old tune from India' which greatly impressed him • tho. first time be heard it and which haunted him. He never received a penny for the words, though they have been translated into 19 languages. A group of gutter chil- dren in the slums of London singing this hymn brought tears to the eyes of Thaok- eray. Mr. Young was formerly headmaster of Madras College St Andrews A wall °Onus from Berlin concerning the noheriltitfulneee and unhappineer of the preeent rulers of Europe, eaye a writer in the London World, First; the Czar is hnochondriacal and terribly shaky in the nerves The gzariP% ia even Worse, 4124 IQ subject to attacks of intense nervous pro. tration. The Emperor of Aniline is a healthy but a heart broken man, And the Empress is a martyr to ' eeistioa, rheumatic) /ever and melancholia, She holongs to the .Wittelsbech leanly, who produced ether samples of royal rnieery in the demented Kings of Bavaria. The King of Wurternberg is said -by Nerth Germans at any rate -to be More than half crazy; King Milan of Servia is 'haunted day and night by the dread of, assassina- tion ; and lastly, the Sultan cannot enjoy a moment's peace beopuse he expeots to meet the late of hie predecessor. Three more mien -able mon, tney eay, (Anna be foand in all Europe than the Czar, the Sultan and King Milan. The German Emperor's physical defects, again, are well known. The King of,Hollancl is paying the penalty of violent liberties taken with a naturally etrong constitution'and has now gunk into the dotage of an irritable invalid. The King'of Italy suffers from chronic gastric derangement, brought on. by' ex- eessive smoking of green cigars. ,The infant King of Spain has no constitution at all, for his father ruined hie. by excesses, and was only kept alive latterly by opiates and champagne. The King of the Belgians is lame. Tne Qaeen of Roumania is haunted by hallucinations, whioh sym- pathetically affect King Charles.. In truth it is a grim and &idly list; and of all the Sovereigns in Europe only Queen Victoria and the Kings of Denmark, Sweeden and Greece eeem to be bleeeed with sound minds in sbund bodies. To complete the list, it Biennia be added that the late King of Portugathad been a most unhealthy and unhappy man -for nearlythirty years, aabe had never bad a month's respite from ill - nes of one sort or another since 1860. • for Infants and Ctkildrer$. "Cestorneissto weliredaptentembildrentbot Caatorla cures Colic Conattpation I r recommend it as superior to any prescription Sour Stomach, Dierrho:ta, Eructation, known So me." H. en neeneen, u, D , Ell18 WOrms, givea sleep, awl promoted dz. - on, . ' also. Oxford St. BroOldyn, N. Y. WI/Or/A injurious utedfcation. The CENTAUR COMPANY, TT Murray Street, N. Y. • A. DEFORMED t3TATESBAN. • An sengush Legislator Without Legs or Arms. ,s,„. •• Ff. Kavanagh, who is -lying seriously ill in London, and who Bat for many years -in Parliament for the county Carlow, was, says the 'Dundee Zdvertiser, physioally speaking, themot extraordinary man that ever satin the Hewn of nlomm'ons. We have had and still have blind men in Par- litementeeend deaf Men are morecommon than the constituents suspect. Mr. Haven- • sigh 'had all his senses, but he was without ,arms and legs. • He had to be carried into bis seat in Parliament. He • addressed the House always sitting, and Was allowed to vote without going into the lobby. -He was by no means a eilentmem- ber. -He:spoke frequently oh Irish. goes - tions and sot on -a number of mien com- mittees -a especial lift having been con- etruoted to rains him, to the level of the corridor in which the conemittee-rooms are • placed. He was 'n man' of some mental vigor, but his Parliamentary efforts were concentreted in the defence of Tory and landlord ascendancy in Ireland. • " I take it for granted, Mies inure,' said young Dr. Smidgleynn that • you con- demn, as all sensible young.; women do; -the unwholesome and barharens, , practice of tight lassing." •• " On the contrary,. Mr.. Smidgley,". re- turned Miss Laura, -with a wistful, yearn- ing look in her glorious °dark eyeen"•I think a compression of the waist tn a reasonable extent is not only harmless but at times positively exhilarating." ;• And that dense, ettipick, wponen-headed youth sat there for fin hour and argued with the youngledy on the evils of tight lacing. -Chicago 2'ribuhe. • " • SHE WANTED DELAY, Adorer -As we are to be married in *January, should we- not onneuntie nor en- gagement ? • • " • s Sweet Girl -No, no; not yet, not yet. • • " My own, I would not neaten to make known the sweet truth to all •the world were not the time iso short. Can •you not bring youreelf to aolsnowledge your betro- thal without farther' delay ? ' "No, no. Wait, I beg of you." "But -why, my shrinking, little angel?" " Wait until all the Christmas presents are in, or half of them will be held book for Wedding presents." A BASE DECE/VElle •A Mrs.: Giddy -Oh, what a horrid pan that Mr., Thompson must be I Bach a base deceiver ! I never could live with eli/t1 Mrs. Flighty -Why, my dear, I though; the blame was all on his wife. Ile came homi;you know, and found her olaeped in %nether men's arm, so 1 don's see how he can be celled deceitful. • Mrs'. G. -You don't? Why, he said, he Was going to New York, and then didn't. DOM P8DI0'S WERT. • The new powers that be in Bratinappear • to be sparing no effort to make ,,things pleasant for Dom Pedro when he arrives in • Europe. • Te, ex -potentate May * appropriately remark to his Brazilian well-veishers "Perhaps it Wits right to dissoluble your love -Bu-nwhY aid 'You kick inc a0W55t5ir5 2" DBEADITtle , Petie-We had a howible wow at the deb, den'toher know. Cholly-Wliat was it , Petie-Why, !Money tore Dolly's bouton-, niekre out of his coat, and Dolly bwolte Dienes:10 eyeglawen 18 *se a 'aof4ne I cif awful violence! • Cholly-Did-did either of theniedie?- •, OnneT,nni 0 a**mh-n• One of the. Board.. of EfittOnii011, going his retinae as an eminent, put the follow- ing gneetion to a eoholer in a country I Hew do yen paree,"' hlary milked the cow ' ? " , Pupil -4N* is a noun, feminine gender, eingaiar number, ilaird potion, and,stande for tasty. ' '1 Stands for Mary l" exclaimed ha etthe „ Board; • how dodyou Make ibet Out t" i'trithe:actioswes'd' iadano:dittnedinfotOrililifitly ahPol could Vary milk her ?ft, • • , :Thia World's Wisdom. . • ;The way to get rine with a rush ie to go Your friends punish you more than your enemies. • • Mann a DINH knows a dollar by sight who oes not know its value. . When—kon look at some people the first uhing you think, of is a club Don't try to drown your troubles in a oup ; troubles are great swimmers. The first time a men is called baldy the thought of a fight comes into his head. • It is so easy for a msn to say that the people,dielikehim because of envy. It is Bap to sey that no girl ever went to a • party witlient wearing something that was borrowed. „ • There in ft entree streak' in' every Mein that lives; it is bound to' crop ont if you know •him too well. • The two ugliest things on earth are the Man whotooks like a girl sun the girl who loince like eman. . Every mon knows bow meanle in him- ealf, but is not 'absolutely supe abent his neighbor; benoe his fondness fon gossip. •. The woman who takes thine leonre to dress for a- party may be vain, but-ehe °vizor wear ehort hair end try to act like es man.--4tch4on, globe. • Where lt Is Fun to Be -a BOY. In every Mabometan country ib is more fun to be a boy than to:be a girl. When a tennis born' enerybody rejoices; when a girl is born everybody is dinappointed, even dis- gusted. Thelather nets and fondlesithia son; he will not,ppeite of his daughter. -If he es oenipelled to mention his having a daughter he beget your padon for introdnoingthe subs jeet. As thehtif grows up he ie sent toschool. He leterne to read and write and studies the Koran -the Arab's Bible -and is taught the duties of his religion. Not many years ago a . gabometan said to Dr. jessup,of Beirut, when the missionary', suggested that his daughter should,be Bent to, school, " Edueste a girl 1 You niight ad well educate a cet I " •r, The difference between the treatment of a boy and girl is continued until the boy is pie. • pared to take his place ae s man among men and the girl becomes] the slave of some mina: -Exchange. • '• • Generous. Mrs. Charity (to beggar womain-There, my good worntiti, irt an old dregs of mine, with only the front widths and a part., of the event gone. If you Will get four or fine yards of brown otiehmere to combine with it, andnome new lining efia velvet 'for ft collar and puffs' audit pencil at the side, it, tvilrmake you iinite attest end conitortable gown. That is all 1 have for yon to -day. • A Fatal Omission. "1:10 pert call that stuff poetry?" inquired the magazine editor contemptuously of the gentlemen with the long hair who had onb- milted a manneoript to him, oat certainly, sir," returned the indig en, nentbor. Bat *by do you call it • :ltott haveiA read it " NO, and 1 don't intend to read it. /1'. ow raw be 110BirY ? Xi isn't even written ir violet ink." -Truth l like 'Cheese. Triath 11 mighty. CARTEKS ITTLE IVER • PILLS. Headache and relieve all the trbubles dent to a bilious state of the system, such as Dirginess, Nausea. Drowsiness, Distress after eating, Pain inthe Side, &c.. While their most remarkable success has, been shown in curing Headache, yet CAtersn's Lir= Ltvint Pime are equally valuable in- Constipation, curing and preventing this annoying complaint, vaiile they also correct all disorders of the stomach, stimulate the liver aad regulate 'the bowelS. Even if they only cured Ache they would be alinost'priceless to'those , who suffer from this ,distressing complaint: but fortunately their goodness does not end here, and those who once try them will find these little pills valuable in so many ways that they will not be willing to do without them. But after all sick head ' ' •• ' Is the bane ofeo many lives that here is %Imre We make our great 'boast. Our pills cure it • 'while others do not • • ' , • Calques LITTLE Liven, 'Pu.t.s are very small, and very easy to take. One or two pills make a dose. They are strictly vegetable and do not gripe or purge, but by their gentle action please all who use them. In vials at,25 cents; Ave for $1. Sold everywhere, or sent by mail . C4ST48 .11EDIPIril CO., NeW TOtk. . tall Till ball Dom 111211 !riot, r THE LIGHT RUNNING , il riday. Lee surrendered on Friday. Moseotv was burned on Friday. - • Washington wee born on Fridny. •'Shakespeare Was born on Friday. , America was discovered on Fridey. Riohmond was evacuated on Friday. Time bonnie was destroyed on Friday. The Madower was landed on Friday.. , Queen Victoria was married on aing Charles I. was beheaded en Friday. Fort Sumter was bombarded on Friday. Napoleon Bonaparte was born on Friday. Cresar Was aseaseinated on The battle of Marengo was fought on , Friday. • • The battle of Waterloo Watt fought on Friday, • '• The battle of Bunker Hill was fought on Friday , • Joan of Arc was burned at the stake on Friday. ' The battle of Now °Adana was fought on Friday n ' The declaration of independence was signedon Fridey,• Story of a Goof* Girt., .CIldrinnThen me thAt often you, quarrel , with (Merles be,wented to break ihe'engagement-aeked for hie ring; ind all that': •, , Lenido--.Not at fill, • my dear;1 rnity be NOMetrintt inittred, bet 1'm still in the • -Yhe Lisbon ,newiptinere. gall.- torcl Salisbury hiterriatietill Jack the Ripper." r • ' • • '• • . ic 7:1 -est Successful Remedy ever discov. cred, as it is certain in its effects and does . not blister. Read proof below. !,(7,1.DALL'S SPAVIN CURE. OFFICE OP CHARLES A. Sicvnza, Bintsmat or CLLTELAND DA7 Apr, TROTTING -BRED HORSES. ' , T.LSIWOOD, ILL., Nov. 20, 1888, Dn, 0.3. SENDALL Co. Dear Sirs : I have always purchased your Iren.- daies SpavIn Cure by the half dozen. "bottles„ would Mee prices in larger quantity. I think it is one of the best liniments on earth. I have used lt en my stables for three years. Yours truly, Cues. A. SNTDER. gENDALL'S SPAVID CURL m.o...., N. Y.;Noveraber 8, 1888. Dn. 0.3. Kniroatt, Co. Dear Sirs: I desire to give you testimonial of my' Amp, opinion of your Sendall'sSpavin Cure. I have 1•sed it for Lameness. Stiff Joints and fr"o•tv't us, and I have found it a sure cure, I cordt- ,....; rmmend it to all horsemen. lours truly, A. H. Guam:A., Manager Troy Lauisdry Stables:, gEk5ALL'S SPAVIll CURE. SANT, Wnrros COUNTY, Omo, Dec. 19, 1888. Do. 11. 3. KENDALL CO. • Gents: I feel itmy duty to say what 1 have done ith your Kendall's Spavin Cure. I base cured twenty -live horses that had Spas -ins, ten of Iting Slone nine afflicted with. Beu.d and seven of Blir'Jaw. Since I have had one of your books cud followed the directions, I have never itis c.:ase or any kind. rOurs truly, ANDREw Terumn. Horse Doctor. Eilk0 ALL'S SPAVID, CURE. Price 01 ner bottle, or stx bottles for 65. All Drug. Ists lave 11 or can get it I or you, or it syj.11 be sent o any address on receipt of price by tha proprie- tors. Dn. D. J. KE:loll.r, Co., Enosburgh Falls, Vt. A. OLD BY .Alf..1-4 DitiJOGISTS. THE KEY TO HEALTH. Tint' InADIE•nn FAVC Tiir ere( v • t•tiPt.t,CIVk.l:t picmGc!.nwfw.W,a NW HOME IIINGIctliNE 1101N,IralkS3,' ene UNION .:;QtJAI,!Ettsl,':".- . touts, Lie. : s, I HT! !Mira, G (.0 8tlLt1 F , Elam° you tried. •the Celebrated SHOE DRESSING? If not dent fail to clo so at once. It is, not. a Tonsil but a wonderful leather preservative inwill make the finest or coarsest shoe as soft and', pliable as kid and very eady. nntfinfoot. t It willmake them' absolutely we.ter- proof, and if occasionally dressed with this dressing will last more than twice as loeg ae otherwise. Well/Lean What We Say. •It is the very life 6.f leather'. It can be applied at any time. No trouble --- Shoe can ,be polished immediately aft omelets., • , P111020, . 10 .t,15 cents pee Ilex. 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Prireforse flays treatment, SI. ANTIfCORPULENCEPILLS'foll,'x°,1=1: poiht. florae -der bf aolleittukt'whather beeauso it is [meant. fortable ot: unfashionable—EAT POLES 11Bitlf: CORPULENCE PILLS" lona 18 lbs.. month. They canoe no sickness' ; eontain no poison, and 00080 4611 Price for ens month's• treatment; 52; or three months rein:Bente, Warranted. , COMpLfXION WAFERS 131Shohlna itt'flotialeip the farm. IiiHinlass. Permanent in offset.. Warranted, Prise 3,1 box. or Mr boxes tot 38. an:drain MADAME GIOVANNArgr; 1196 zrkig Stroot wrest Toronto, Oat, EVEREST'S CEUGH SYRUP • CANNOT BE EXCELLED. Try it and be convinced of its *oinking curative properties. Price`25 cents. ACIYAR 1YELLOW: OIL CURES RHEUMATIStvt • 'FlifeMitt POWDriit Are piekarn to ke.- eotitwo their ttwn Piogatitt. Ira We; stii4 rEeedital destmerofworikftuCkal,dilsoihistdrilt4 TroliYaN meta 21114°S4 init /At A? rgelt, fdt.. te, 8 E.it. erets.t's Llier Regulator "4 4 0"