HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Exeter Advocate, 1889-12-19, Page 6JaeVs Jolly Jokes
"Oh, I am a jolly old tar," lie said,
" Aud Va go my the Iega ;
And they eau me Seth as tiaesr 1a my baelt,
*Though I wae christens:4140m.
" 1 walls with a larch on the wad earth
Theugh whetiI ani on the sea
Not a siege saip le made by the ehip
That isn't well by me.
" Oh, yeti Waturany as sucb. fen
Bit.1 dew* Jeep, 4 Kaw, haw r
As moth as you. old lend labeers to,
Tats right ta-gare ree rut paw.
" And Tenets:at to know wise I WkSt
ou the eipp, awl oat on shore ?
Vs become =the (ship re o'er' esali trip,
While en lead rin but heat -zees o'er.
44 Atte you went to know bowl sot m§ name&
And he gave hie treeeere e hitch, .
"We den't gc 1or the ewe: etiee Tars
It menes temp the. vesehe pieta"
And that wee the gruff old Ballor's joke,
14Visich lie mall° ae beleafea aboavd,
And whitheteedied hie tog and awretened his
W eirn the 'wind throtigh the rigging roared,
fc
a-Rarl !Orfila in Texas Billings,
Dullest Old Toed.
coh, a queer little thap is the helmet red teed -3
A fauna ci eliow be -44.4
raveg under &atone by the side of the roe,
%oath the shade of the old • anew tree. -
Reis dressed, en in home from hiestoea tate
orowa,
Save hieverit.thetteeilveey white.
He takes a long nap in the beet a the day
And watke in Me cool, dewy sat be,
'Beep, yetis) paya the hog
riven his% home m tha bog„
But the toadies says never a word.
--Tee .Prestraterfaa.
TieR rilokTISTOWIR Or TOsTles.r.
now the 40;044 Ota nen " Xmpressed
New Terxer.
A.New lareer thee deocribee iij
glimpse of Gledetone; "O4 * rim after-
noon late ite October I teati ;Amide* teit a
street cornerin tbe little village otfialtuey,
suburb et Chester, with severe' Unmixed
ram, women ma children, all et whom
were lookiog up the loug Aveeue thee led,
to the city. Tee bonen ware demoted
with bunting, and aorose the street bug
benne; " Weloome to Satiny," A shout
eeddenly wen* up from *be anted as & car.
els& with •a sin& horse appeared tet the
end ot the anima.
The to of the orrisge wee thrown
beta; sea in the back met, alma sett
Gireletone, wbo had come to Slit) platei to
perform the * ueigiftharly detero opeotag
a free library foe worklegmen. With
hie het in hie hand, the Venerable
atetemnau wee bowine mad (=Mug to
every one. The ftrat tbet etruca
1Tte Was the keen, quick glence of his eye,
vthialt seemed. to tithe ea everything.
As lea ateppea trout *be curies* 1 was
114rp115ed to 400 how erect he ateed, with
what 'vigor he walked to *be committee
raceme.
"When Mr. Gladidane rose to epea.k, bie
frame, wbicia ia almost measive, seemed to
dety the inclemency of *he' place. When
he communed Riesling he gresped the
lapela of his coat in an Awkward roamer
and "manatee more than yon would expect
iu Bath a Veteran of parliamentary debate.
But as he grew more eareeet, ell Appose'.
e.nee of. awkwerdnees pacified away, there
was no delay tar Oleic" of words, Ana the
audience lietenea apell-bound. Ile bad a
Mealier wee of drawing back the Genera of
his mouth mat before beginning to spectir,
as it he were trying to get a pi:melange upon
the aentenoe he was commencing. When-
ever he made e. humorous point the walla
would linger on his face hut for a moment.
Re spoke with intense, almost ilerce
earnestness throughone the address, and
daring the ham and a half that he 'slaked
there weet no eign of breaking in Ilia voioe,
which wee remarkebly dear for a man of
bis age."
MRS, TRUCCUES CHARITY.
HOW She&ssistoi a Broken -Down
Landlord,
A RASMONABL,E P tritaaftriaOl'IS'r.
Mr. 3ane Merl* Trutt* waa * Meet
charitable ledY. Qat et the Very eonliklere
able wealth Whigh the Irate letriented Sara
Trueole bad lett her the meerivea to open
*goott deal for what, she couselend (lettere-
ing objects. linfortunelely, hewever. she
direOtion Of her oberity was largely influ-
enced by feelinga other than those eff pure
benevolence, and consequently, whet she
eteesiderea deserving objeme were °Batt
heredie" those that excited the sympathy of
the unbiased pbilatethropiet..
The feelings wbiala had most infivience in
directing or misdirecting ber charity were
thoee she was eloped to enteetein on ,poll -
ilea. To be euretthe knew nolbing in the
world *Tenet politme. That, however, did.
net prevent-perheps, indeed, it rather ae.
eisted--her, being o tremeridema Tory. She
was * rrimr000 da010 ot high degree,
liberal suteteriber to every autierriberel
nogiertehiog, a hitter deepieee of all parties
and persilus whom smut. reple conefiler
"low, and a prefixed aua atistetio ad-
mirer of that feetatinelle society ellooe she
purlieus of whaile she Well delighted *0
mime.
Har politica] lane tweed on her otterite-
tie feelings in this way. They inside her
very eorelees reheat the sorrows and mime-
ot the teal peer, end very attentive to
very ory of distress railed bythe nobappy
itithy Masao. Reports ot destitution in
e net of lienidert, Or Of faurlea oolong
the Getters of the west of Ireland, moved
her very ; but when the heard Lord
This or Lady Viet dilating on the WOOS et
the money lenders and exploiters of Egypt,
er Of the reclereutere end elltertiOrilete Of
Ireland. she was quite overcome with seen.
petby and sorrow tor their enables, and
reedy to enbiteribe any Ancient to *WM
them in. their °teem,
It was the morning following the Thal
reeetiog for ttie theflen of 040 of these
coteuneteee-one for the protection of
heel lereletweere-eand Mre. Treece° was
anted at ter breakfast reading the annUel
repave In it her neMe was several Omar(
mentioned-ene mentioned, too, be cerninies
tion With those of two duchesses* one
arobioness, three couatesses and varioue
thee' ladles et leaser title. At tem widow
reed aim need not bele feellog, with a
benevoiene glow an her fatee, SIM, atter All,
virtue it its own rewara.
She bed just doiabeta the report, tala
was sitting redacting how abe could farther
show bee devotion to ao deservieg a came.
mete as to Adverted:Ia.
If you have goods to sell tsavertise tbe
feat. If any advertiaing canvasser wants
to advertise your business in a fumy/ramie
at a -depot pey him 200 per cent. more than
it le worth, and let bit put it there. Whers
a man has three.quartete of a mama in
width to catch a train, he imariably atopa
to read depot advertieementaana your card
might take Itis eye. Patronize every can-
vasser tbat sham( you an aavertisingteblet,
care, directory, dictionary or even an ad.
verheing Bible, if one is offered. But don't
think of advertising in it well-estiebilshea,
legitirnate newspaper. Youx advertise-
ment would,find its way into all the thrifty
homeholds of the region where the farmer,
the uteoluirdo, the tradesman and others
live and into the homes of the wealthy and
refined -&U of whom need artiolea and. have
the money with which to buy them; Ana
in the quiet of the evening, atter the news
of the day bed been digested, it would be
read and pondered upon, ana the next day
people would come down to your store and
petronize you, and keep coming in inorette-
ing numbers, and you might have to hire
an extra clerk or two, move into a larger
biotite and more favorable Iocatien ana do a
big business; but, of emirate it would be
more eatpensive.-New Haven Register.
me," said Mr. Burke in a broken voice,
" and yet it is what I ehould hove expected,
Madame was brought op A gentlemen,
and so ;ow none a the vulgar ways ot
earning * livelibood. The pleoes I arn
esPeille of filling are only humble ones. I
can think of one only. Meny people of
taehione-yonreelf probably among the nuM-
bere-will soon be leeetiog town. Caretakers
Will he wonted, to leek Atter the houses. 1)0
You. think You Mule get ane of the nobility
or gentry o y nnr ocinOnownoo to accept
the services of myseit and wife IA the
direction/ ie
bfe.BOrke, moat certainly,"
Said Mrs. Tree*. As you guess, I'm
leaning town myself -for my house at
Reetings-end taking my gerveote with
me. I usually get a PO:00MM to live
here when I'm away. but X shall only he
too balpY to have yea olad your Wife ins
Mr.Eastme Barka overpowered the good
'say with fervent testate Re insured her
over and over even. that she had sevea
him and his poor Wife from, Abaointe star-
vatioo, entithet he never could, shetild or
would forget her kinfleentoben. Then At
last he rem to go.
It was only now that he was about to
leave that it mooned to efte. Telltale shat
the WAS miting with hardly her nanal nen-
denth. In her charitable Ilan*/ to help she
distinguished pauper ehe had pito ter.
gotten, to tisk bue for rotenone to show
that he was aa distinguiseed fox he said.
She had llama * good deal in her length -
erne experience of the world of rogme who
were very clever at paSeil3g then/KIWI Off
as gentlemen. and, in spite of leer own Aud,
her butlerteopinioe to the contrary, Ur.
Burke Might net be the rooter, acme Mite
tomtit he seemed. to be and said he was
Nowt however, that she and he Ind, as
it
were, booms anosioted, she felt rather
embarrassed ingot *eking hint for refer.
ellerni of thereatee; it seemed liko throwing
doubt on his tritthfolness and honor. Still
stio felt that it mast be done. As, there -
tore, be moved toward the door, elle Asia,•
114 a heeiteting way
"But, Me. Bork_el, perhaps you. wold4
ba
SO kind---" And with We ehe thane to
full atop.
Mr. Burke, in a nalellent, pereeived what
she meant, and came to her relief.
"011, 1 eaderentea, madam," he said,
witb„ it smile. "Bow etupid of no, to he
mere, net 40 hale tbought et it before 1 Of
coque, you want reterimees to prove Wyatt
that I AM Who I repreeout myself to be,
arid that my sad story's true. It/oink X
lose lettere with me that will satisfy you
on, both palate,"
Ho took a number of lettere from his
pocket suil,seleatingtwofroot anaOugthena
headed them to Mrs.Tuaole. OneWaairero
Bev. Mr, Northman, vicar of Soobton, and
Wright Almoner, of tbe Pelt/mom League.
It nu as foliates;
when her rceditaticele Ware Uninterrupted
by the advent of the bullet, He brought
her le gentlemen'a nerd. Astordebed at
stoat very eattly elre.Traeole
tool& the oteed, and, Patting an bar arc"'
reed %her:Searle ott it.
43 kir. Enstace Burke,'* ehe said. 414 Who
is thio person, Soker ? I never beard of
him before."
"Don't anew, rename" replied Selzer.
Re lieyo he weals ter eft you on very
Wive:tent bluenose,"
41 10E4," seta Mrs. Teneale. There
very attempt. What don he look like 1"
Oh, very pantile rma'ilest. Lottes like
egeutleraan * little int downinthe world."
The amiable Soker was a elarewil ot
clintraoter, and his mietreee, put great reit-
tome upon the estiente b,e forma of
streugent sua seepaintsamese
" Well, I'll iste him. /Teat inthelibrary,
I suppose ?"
44 Yee, mettle"
When Mee. Treocle enterea the library
she found that lir. Zusteall Berke an.
severed very well totter bale* description
at him. Re was a tails tether hertasome
man, with, in spite of *threadbare coat
eta appearthos ot poverty, a oertain
air of ditainotion About hire. His mu.
nem too, were refined and high -bred. The
bow he gave Idea. Tramiel as them -need
the room was so dignified, and At the same
time so Whet* Sett the gooa lady's heart
q-nite =Ina toward him. She saw at once
that he was just the sort tie potion the
always Theca -the person who, after hav-
ing lived for years A:Mother people's labor,
ia now reattatidio the tied neceseity of trying
to live by his own.
After a forrnal greeting, the stranger
epoke.
"1 ertutit, Erre. Trttoole," Baia, 4, that
you will forgive the liberty that I, a coat -
elite stranger to you, have taken in daring
to call on you. Imam you that nothing
but your reputation for kindness to the
unfortunate is to blame. If you, will be
benevolent and generous to those who have
had disasters in the world's struggle, you
must expeet, Mrs. Treacle, occasionally to
have miserable being like myself appeal-
ing to you for assistance."
Mr. Endear Burke said ibis in swat a
nice, Bettering. way that Mrs. Tete:diets
already good opinion of him was consider-
ably enhanced:
"I am taws* ready, sir," she said, "to
assist, as far as my meane allow, 'persons
deserving my aympathy."
"1 know it, madam,' replied Mr. Burke,
"but the assistance I want from you is not
peouniary assistance; merely want your
help to put me into a position where I min
earn my bread."
" Indeed," said Mrs. Trucole, still more
favorably impressed. "May I ask for a
little information as to your antecedents
and alai= "
",Certainly, madam," anewered Mr.
Burke with a aigh, " although the sUbjeot
to me is a moot painful One. I belong to
that most unfortunate class of men, Irish
landlords. I still nominally possess a con-
siderable estate near Ballymultvaoking, and
I am cousin to Lord Grebmore of that
neighborhood, of whom perhaps youhave
beard."
"Oh, yes," pet in Mrs. Truccle quickly,
"1 met him once at a Prirarose League
meeting."
Ab," said Mr.Barke with eatiefaation,
"then we are not quite such strangers after
all. When I called at your door I little
knew that you and, my distinguished rela-
tive were friends."
"Well," saidedraTrupole, blusbing &little
ea the ides Of being thought a friend ot the
great Lord Grabraore. 4, Well, we're hardly
frienas." _ ,
"At least acquaintances," said Mr. Burke.
"But to resume, madam. Some years ago
my income from that estate was counted in
thorisands ; to-dayI den't receive from it a
penny. My wife, who °moiled her carriage
and her footman, is now actually in want
of bread I "
",Dreadful, dreadful!" exclaimed Mre.
Trucele.
Ton may well say so, madam. We have
neither bread to eat nor a roof to cover us.
It it in this fearful state that as a lest resort
I have wane to yon to ask you to assist me to
obtain a place where f can earn enough to
keep body and BOnl together." And Mr.
Burke, as he spoke, nearly eobbed with erne.
tion.
" Mr. Burke, you may rely on me," cried
Mrs. Truoole, "What sort of a place would
you like ? "
" Madame, your kindnees overpowers
5.•••
when is the next train te London? I went
te rina stai there for an bone eir two
The moment Mrs. Trueole rembria *own
Rite arovo over to her aolisliter. Mr. Gailea
Was engaged ba thart,but he hed lett ordere
that he wei to he sent fer when Mrs.
Trathle arrived. But she woe go eager to
kaow at once whythe hadbeen telegranheal
tor that she &eked the managing clerk what
was the Inetter.
Wells madam, I don't know that Any-
thing is wrong" replied thst gentleman
with legal ovation, "Bit may r ask who
the caretakers are that you hove in your
house?"
Mr- *ea Mee, Eutittioe Berate" replied
Mrs. Tegoole, with gh latOr‘. "They hre
(loosing Of Lora Grebraoree. Why do you
went to know?"
"011. teeming ot Loed Greltmereee, are
they!" oola the cloth eedeativele, "Per-
haps there is nothing wroug,titen,eiter ell.
It only mom' to us Wet they were behav-
ing very queerly for ceretakeree
" Whet are they doing?"asked tare.
Treacle.
Well, in a few words, beppenieg tortes
your henee yesterday, 1 observed wieh ser.
prise that it seemed to he occupied as
meal. All the blinds and corteine were
up and the window clean. I knocked at
elle door, and it was opened ity efoeheen,"
A foteman I " e*elatmeff Mee Trrele
Bowyer% SWiMM1111.
Sayville Visitor -I would like to get you
to teat& me to mil a boat.
Boatman -Sail a boat? Why, it's may
aa swimmite. eat grap the main ahem
with one hand an' the tiller with the other,
an' if a flew strikes, ease up or bring 'er to,
an' loose the halyards; look out for the
ge,ff an' boom, or the hall thing '11 be in the
water, an' ye% be upsot ; hut if the wind is
steady y'r all right, °these y'r too slow in
Inffin' to; 'cause then y'll upsot. sure.
jump right in an' try it; but, remember,
whatever ye do, don't eibe.-New York
Weekly.
Oldies discovered *hie, he followed post
halite to explain the blander.
lifre. Treacle was libereted, of course,
with. many apologies ; but her aewels, and
the Pagels Who Stele them, have been eeen
no Mere. It turned out that they were a
1P4itirer°WtrIrealifec7wnhrlisa" *Tern% lainceali1:4ghgeei4gn
on the 10400 for some Wine. The reel
Eleetare Burke, Titre, True* hoe eithe
hem disgusted to disoover, is a penniless
drankard, who, after spending all he pure.
thee& POW lives on R6 email peesion whiolt
:44.14.Ctraboararel allow him on *maiden
that he never oomet to Englend-Zendati
WhAt E60010KR6 L.
11 yon don't know what ensilage is you
might as well be told now Alla ham it bee
with. Ensilage is winter food for the
patient and nutritious reive. Thes exhibitor
ercelathe all about it. It is really prepared
°QM The *ern not planted. in the Wel
"1410," but in rOW4-^drills is-010001mi*
term. This gives more of it to the acro,
but at lalleiehe poetry out ot the ottrodeld ;
it doemat leave any room for primpieine,
and Aoki without yellow pnmoltial *
pretty peer Affair, duet betheethe altra Of
eerallarden and begin to whieper of husking
Wee, opa going letne with the Oa After
tina are over, the mthlege hand of the
in arateeentent, 4 West was be 0 .. intelern impreved tarmer Cote thea*alksO
"A tall, rather diectingnieltedelooking °loge to the ground, An4 the whole Mop is
men, with headmen features ana dirk' (serried to the been ort a petent weggoie
eyes. and nue through the letest mailage mathine.
.1
" laleelte. as tate 1 women!" eealeimed which oboe upend -lot, *eaves,
ilnalis, ears
Mee. Treacle, of core PA a� Imes Abe hired, nettaat
"Well, hie Ausweee-elet him be whit he Angers.' There le no hushiny, lan itedieg
nitsys-Werret WS lilthatiefeeterY that When 1 red thre i AO pilreelthalh Pa eeekyleateerle i
reported them to Ur Galicia he eget 0116 0! , netbieg bet the Wady hum tit the
our °leeks to keep 4 leek oet on the plaea. atom ensilage miohine, and, perinea
lite reported. She% e, hely, deemed le greet goteetimm, a few *armlet remarks by *be
style, drove up to the bectse arta Weal in, hired man. Alter the cookie oatepped op
Ond the iterVent neXt doge teld him the% it is *in the tile, whop It renames like
Otirein, and Swaren Eiabitatioo*
Smitten.
Bev. Err. tdortrogn, vioar ot Snobton,
and IC.n!gitt Almoner of the Pliteirthe
League, zs, deeply grieved to learn how the
peradlone pointy of the murder league in
Ireland hos rednerei Ur. Eustsee Burke
from *Slows to poverty. and etroogly
reoetriMende the Oath Ot this unfortunate
scion * noble noose, ruined by the dia.
houesty and coveteueneari sat the lower Or-
ders, to the benevolent ormaideration of the
happier members of hie awo
• The other waa from the great Itargola
of Gooseberry himeelf-or rather from his
private Secretary. It ran as follows «
Sis,-The Marquis of Gooseberry directs
me to return you the molosed letter of ma.
orowiendetion, end to forward you. a chock
for two guineas. Yams Obediently,
S. Brent
"I can produce rainy others," said
Burke, when hlts. Tnoole bed dueled
reading these
"These are quite sufficient," repliedlers.
Truoole. 11. Where ihe Merquis of Gone.
berry sees pea to *mist, it does not become
a humble person like myself to raise aita.
amities."
Mr. Enthuse Burke bowed.
"Now, ondant," he said, "that you wee
meitalea with ray bona moo, posy I esk one
slight ocineession from yon?"
"Most certainly, Mr. Burke."
"Madam," said Mr. Butte, with digni-
fied humility, have fallen 10w, hut my
pride is Still as high at; ever. May lint.
pion you, then, to spare it by keeping
secret the foot that I tem forma to tarn
livelihood in this menial way?"
Decidedly," replied Ian. Trecole, with
a generous Air. 41It la not my nature to
trample on the fallen. No, Mr. Burke;
regret deeply that you are forma to eon
your living, and will not all to your
humiliation by Any aot, or behavior, or
word of mine."
Don't Nag a Child.
Don't nag. A sound reproof will do far
more good than a continual nagging for
hours. I have heard children Nay : " Pd
rather take a good soma whipping than it
scolding, because it is sooner over."
There are hoste of honorable advertie-
erg, the member of ythich ie daily increag-
ing, who would no more think of misrepre-
senting in their advertisement than they
would m their own office or saleeroom. It
pays consumers to read the announce.
mantis of respothible and honorable firms
for the slake of the bueinese information
they gain. ,
-To reach the people and to hold before
them your name and business in honest
advertisement pays. Promises not kept,
or, to epeak more plainly, dishonest adVer•
tisernents, not only injure the advertiser's'
ritzt,ess, but also the paper that contains:
The death took place, on the 14th inst.,
of Dr. Potts, headmaster of Fettes College,
• Edinbargh, who recently underwent an
operation, from the effects of Which he
failed to recover.
Monday for heath,
Taeeday for wealth.
• Wed:mod-1y the beet day of all.
• Thursday I or ereSSea,
Briday for lessee,
Saturday no day at all.
-A stove pipe out at the elbewe often
uses a great deal of trouble.
Ivedeepeople were efeetinteelly Se, Calened trait in 41 glees an till it le titheu
Mr. Guiles this linaraisig, withoUt waiting no Pile exisihitiora but the Mall eve Stet
lblnkmg she wimgc Ofetr looked. allsVcineug out and tat;od000d. to Vie 00W. Them is
for instroetione, asked the poliee to look the farmer boya the ensilage end Plaine his
iota the affair." own ail% °owe are very fond et ensilage.
"Lia was riglatz"eriall Mra.Traggilet audit kr old to he a rare and b000titai
=nob **oho, "And Vile- oft thie mem* sight to tee * cow bola up her plate for
loud lave the Burke* arreetria ; they are more. The man soya tits% me firmer near
evidently *couple ot resoilly swindlerAlbany keeps hie non in the baroyera and
°Bus, neaten, Ur. Gam tad. me to feeds them tutelage and nothing elite, He
Set you te wait outit be returned," salaam 'mediate that everybody will do that *
mensiging ghee, , few yeere..ao memo that the poem
" (pito able to tate Care et , with Sae daleri Ind lazy bumblinbees will
thanize," cried are. Trete*, thenby doleg inve So "go"With the gettlline oorufield.
hereelf ranee than acetic*. Pretty goon fawn mole' of qua
Amordingly away the geed leae dtatee I mechiee painted red, white and blue, and
to hex borne bring the Beekee to book, &venal box of obentiothe Between *oleo,
When elle vomited the footed it asi the title teaming anti Ineiterabber flow= the
mthegine clerk bed deeeribed. Foaming II !OA booming eleperflatane itod in a
with rage, late. Trueole jereped. out ot the few Tonere con ley cue the came ot the
cabana rushed zip lilla mere. earth into baseball grounds *rid tWearaile
She rang the bell violently ; there was traelte.--N, X', Tribune.
no response. She rang it *seta*, Atilt there
Wee uo answer. She ente *bout to pull it , eatidle Power or lifteeteio leeette
a tided time, when heed wee Picea On
autlie trio liglete of the ere system hitve been
411 whet 40 you memo elae mad to relied in Berlin. au irt title 00011trif MAO
leave used in Toter den Linden are re.
THE SWETT Or pascurr.,
It zielf se filtrate in Manners V! to Veotarag.;
Whet hes beertte ao with love?
Here is a Oneetien that 10 herder tee
(answer than to eels. We alt have imowis
*het there mine thrt of ererineatiort
between thews but it is herd to &knee
raetti hale Often tried to define it, but, like
other mortals, have felled. John Resta
seines as oeer pethips, as arty of the=
Wheal he ertall -
Beauty la truth. trnthheaetY-tlee is rdi
arn keow on earth, amd ail ye need to knew.
That whigh We know to he, Mae la nterea
beautiful than the% which We heOW or Mt-,
pet of being false.
Nevelt"; you known paegelle Who leernea
beeutiinl in your eyee until yoa. diseovend
thet they were not what they memea? At
'mg as they impreseea you 4i0 being trate
;hey were beautiful, but the firs% line at
roietruet made them ngly.
Yon olio:1401ov° the fele in nature- You
may admire it, and you may be faseireted
by it, but you eannot love it. A rudriner-
MOO, hendeeidetea women nuty win your
edmiretien, end the may fescinete Yoe***
She Con PeVer win your true love, Tejo *
true,lerceese nature has made it SO. The
*roe end the false go side by Ode, bat
never hand in hand.
The men who mietakee teseinetiou for
Were is ill greet denser of beitig led into *
pith of misery. His offeelliena Will /10t ha
returned, neither will his kiwineas normal,.
*lettere he appreciated.
She (donee Only besedifel who is tree*
Her foe may net he pretty,. nor her torn
exactly aylpinlike. yet She le helnititni in,
the eyeitof him who honoree in her.
hbay the eallow not use * WOO pOWaers
Or the pate,elaseked. indulge irk a tinge et
roue?
CartaW_ ly they my, hematite it la thet
duty oe every weenie to look well.
It is the drily et every gira young Wye
reerricia women and old maid to be and as.
handsome as abo nen.
To do ilia thet need Mt Meet to WOW -4,
nitre padding, extensive dyeing, or lowish
Painting- Week &e need not resort toe
padding et ell, because hoiden is ao very
liberal what the Shia are allowed to won'
loose, flowing gowns, while the stout may
weer theirs OM ttglet as 0 skin. Ten met
4
amen= ere eitnteshi hie, ea that de*,
sod 'Yen teeth, 0001 len* ore not only
*Seville, bat gaits the tying.
Beauty lies as retiolt en tuanners as im
features.
If our girla and yonotwouten keep 'Oda
be! agegace, she emote sound enclega. Queltleett 111 to tile weal° power ot
the pen= who bed token tbe ety.
o Mee% Inahare,° replied the fellow
with. mock defame°, "that the old man
has bolted. Re got wind that we were On
his trade, *Ago bis Wok. It wee mean
of him to save Ids own skin and leave you."
"Loom nee I " exelaimed tdre. Trued*.
I don't understand you."
"I moo, nate'atzt," mid the man, "that
the cove you call your husband boa bolted,
but that you won't get the abloom of doing
the genie. I argot you ler obtaining from
Mare. ()linker es Co., beaker*, posseesion
of Mrs. Trucial's iewela by means of *
forged letter.
Mrs. Tractile otooa daninforoaded for *
moment or two.
- Do you know, sir," the then oota,
• "that I myself am elm Tractile t"
"No, X don't," said the deteetive, but 1.
know that you him been pasting yourself
ad se her, and that you've aontrivea to
**nal° good many folks in that way.
Zonal better make Along quietly now that
the gime is up."
"But I ate Teneele I" oda the
poor lady, desperately.
"Now, there's no nee making a (mooch.
moo. We know whet we're abont. Mrs.
Tractile kat Routings."
"But I carte up from there this morn -
beg I"' gloated. Mrs. Trued°.
"Alt right," replied tbe detective. °Ton
Can tell the megiatritte that, but, moan.
while, you meat come *long with me."
"I shalt be disgraced for life,""sobbed
Mete Treacle.,
"Very likely -not to say imprisoned,"
replied the *allow constable.
And before Mrs. Treadle knew whet was
happening she was hurried baok to tbe cab
oho had just left and driven Off to Grape
street polio° court. There, in spite of all
her remonstreneee, the was placed in a cell
among a number of Woolen of queer cher-
eater and queerer mannera until the refight.
teats could hear the (loge against her, and
by the time she was brought into court the
poor lady was so overcome that she could
scarcely epeak.
The next day Nr.EtUite00 Burke brought
round his wife -a moat ladylike person,
Mra. Trim% could not bat mama to her-
fielf-and introduced her to Mrs. Treacle,
and then the three of them eettlea tbe
terms on which Mr. Berke and his wife
Were to become caretakers. A week or BO
later Mrs. Treacle, after sending all her
superfluous jewels to her banker for safe
keeptng, left for Hastings, and the Burkea
were duly installed charge of her town
home.
Mrs. Treacle was happy and contented.
She felt that she had really and truly done
a, good work. She bed egoista& a lady and
gentleman Who lied been rioh end were
poor, who were well born and very smart,
and who were nearly related to the peer-
age. Only one thing detracted from her
eatiefeation. That was her promise of
(earthy. Mrs. Trueole was not one of those
who love to hide their light under a linshel.
When she did a good work she thought
half its moral effeet was lost if all the
world did not know of it.
Still she kept her promise, difficult
though the task was. Once only did she
in the slightest degree infringe it, and
then the temptation was enough to seethe
anybody, for whom did she meet but her
caretaker's cousin, Lord Grabraore 2 She
met him at a Primrose League reunion at
Lady Swaren's house, and had it short ohat
with him. Then all oho said was this:
"By tee way, Lord Grabmore, I met
your cousin, Mr. Burke, lately."
"What, Eustace ?" asked Hie Lordship.
"Yes, Mr. Bootees Burke."
" In Paris 2"
" No ; In London."
"What on earth was he doing in Lon.
don ?" said Hia Lordship, in anything but
a pleasetone.
Mrs. Trucole went very red and hesi-
tated.
"t, r see," saide Lord Grabmore,
quired to give liglet of from. 2,090 to 6,000
mediae, It fa amorted thet tbey dialect
ectually emote 500 candle power, so an
elaborete gecko of pbotometrie toots were
made. The rotate varied with (Brogan
from which, the candle power was meta.
eared. The vatted light owe very little
light in a, horizontal direction (100 muffles):
et
an eugle et 20 degrees about 1,150
Gandhi, and at an Angle of 42 degree* 2,014
allaidlee, &Ora volat the candle power
sinks repialy, end at GO degrees there is no
light, bet endow. The average vrithout
globs* la *boat 1,228 mediae. When globes
are used the Weevily of the light ia more
everay distribeted at the diftlerent angles,
hut ia greatly redeoed, the lose amounting
• to toaa 40 to 53 pee oeue, aua even 1;011
the use ot retteatorti the lose by the global
is $2 per mat. The ultimete neat of the
experiments is the issidueata thetthe lemma
inelead ot being either of 5,000 or 2.000
candle power,give average lightingpower
of 834 cattalos, Stated in. * more under -
Mendable wee', when the lights Are 26 bee
8 inches Aimee the pevement, the light
neoessmy for reeding la obtained at the
height of a reatt's heed, and at a distance
of 58 feet.-PhiezdelpitioZecteer.
drily, and he st once changed the eubjeet.
"He knows that his poor cousin is in
difficulties," thought Mrs. Treacle, " and 1
suppose he knows, too, that he has been
applying te me for assietance. He should
be ashamed of himself --a ricb man like
him to let his poor relative go e -begging."
Mrs. Trucele had been about a fortnight
or so in Hastings when the received it tele-
gram from her solicitor that startled her.
It said: "Come to town at once. Want
to gee you on most important business."
"What can it mean 2" Mrs. Treacle
asked herself. "Gan any of my invest-
ments have gone wrong? I hope not. Ur.
Guiles is Boole a earelnl roan that that ion%
d d ff to Gra e
The detective Mated the i3herge against
her -that She and another person not in
custody, by falsely representing -them-
selves to be Dar. and Mrs. Ensteoe Burke,
Imo got themselves appointed eseetakers
of Kn. Tamale's town resideme, and that
while there they did, by means of a forged
order, pneporting to be written by Mee.
Trace's, mince 'Meson. Clinker & Co.,
her bankers, to mind her iewels to the
house, wbere they made away with therm
The detective pledged himself to prove not
only this charge, but quite a nattltitude
of others, nearly as grave. Among these
letter were several bad mem of defrauding
tradesmen and jewellers, by the prisoner
driving to them in a carriage, and by
representing herself to be Mrs. Trude,
and getting theta to forward valuable
goods to the house f or approval; none of
whioh goods were ever returned. There
were also charges of obtaining money
from numbers of public persons -from the
Marquis of Gooseberry down -by means
of begging letters. In conclusion, the
detective Oiled the Magistrate for a, day's
remand, until he could oolleot his witnesseo
and conemunioste with Mrs. Treacle, who,
he understood, was at present living at
Hastings.
"Certainly, sergeant," replied the magis-
trate. ,, Remanded till to -morrow."
in Mind% end strive to welbreannored,
they would not be so mu* inolload
to paint* powder, and dreas itt a.toor
twobtaa.
11 18 the well.mennered ledy whim belt
most at WOO in piddle, and attract* the
wet respectfol attention. She may not
Melte as urneh Otharlielet ex her more
Sanity and highly colored sister* bat her
oloincee for happiness ale 1400e0rity
are MU* better.
Senna 10411011 feel flattered to have gentle.
am turn and leek after them on OSA Streets
to gem at them in publio and maks
remarks about their shape. Could they
hear the aide remarks *bat are made they
might not teal es highly flattered.
Neatriess in area and quietness in ma.
mos are two things that never fail to wyt
the booed admiration ot reapeetithle, vto-
teens men.
Many it Wealliet hes woe the -affection of
good man by the neatness Ira tidiness ot
bor dreth, arid lost it bybooming negli-
gent and elovenly atter suarrisge.--Firtzbort
(Andsgratta Gatette.
Bootee church licoaerators.
The now moaeratore for the Scottish
Chetah amerablies have been nominated,
and both are in their way well-known men.
The Church of Scotland will have Bev.
A. K. XI. Boyd, D.D, LL.D., who is per-
haps more !emitter to the reader of Britieb
literature for his articles signed " A. K. R.
B." than for his clerical poeition. The
Free Church moderator will be Bev. Dr.
Brown, of Edinburgh, one of the ministate
who "wont out" at the disruption in 1843,
and who has written the 44 Almelo ot the
Dieruption " an historical Recount of the
troubles oetheee times.
"But, Sir," oriea Mrs. Tractile desper-
ately, "1 am Mrs, Treacle!"
"What does she say ? " asked the magis-
trate.
44 She says she is Mrs. Trucole, your wor-
ship," answered the detective.
"Is she quite right in her head 2 " asked
the magistrate.
"I don't know, your worship," replied
the detective dubiously. "But she lee
kept on saying the same thing ever since I
arrested her."
"1 think the dootor had perhaps better
see her.
" But, sir, for goodness' sake—," cried
Mrs. Trucale.
" Renaove her at onee," said the magie-
,
trate.
Mrs. Truccle was just being carried off
((creaming when Mr. Guiles rushed into
court. Beaching hie office, and finding that
his client had gone alone to her home, he
followed her. She bad, however, by that
lea), erhototea Widow.
Tom Tamable widow, who will not atrita
aent lie exhibit hthealt at mere
pulsed through she City a few days ago.
Sested in an einy chair, for her to neck
tbe goat ot wItieh the weed, of * iwitiket was
abeolutely neoeseaty, the diminutive hay
extended the hoaa at *doom), Jona witt:
group, shtick her boa at the visitor gave
greeting to ?dn. Merin Steetten."
No longer Mrs. Mechelen," she sidle
I am now the Countess Mewl, agta this
is my tivisbana, the Coteit."
The gentlemen thus introdutted was a,
handeome little fellow, whose yore and
whose bathes an aimed the stone, for the
crown ot hie heed motes only the level ot
an upright yardstick, Ana las age is About
39. Mra. Stratton-hlagri, it the doubtful
appellation easy be usea, is 41 yeam
now, and she Mends ahead -that is to oor
a lilliputian heed-ehorter than her hes-
band.
"Wo were niarried only four /emotive'
she said, "and I notioe tent many people,
still find it beta to equate my name from
the Cieneralee Be, poor mettepasiedaway
six years ago."-Beeteadeurnal.
A. lereaent Nor a Itneband.
Sunitore Dealer -Yes, madam, there is
no Dicer present for Man than a handsome
writing-deek. Look at this one, for ex-
ample.
Customer -It's very pretty; but what
are all those equate thinge
"Drawere, madam. That desk has 160
separate drawers:,
",Huh 1 And every time he mislays any-
thing he'll expect me to find it, Show Me
a desk with one drawer."
Etat Irony.
Shirt to Wrists -So you are in trouble
again with the cuffs on?.
Wrists to Shirt -Well, you are well -
Y. sun.
Neatly Turned.
"The pudding is not very good."
Ale but we can afford to ignore the
pudding when we consider the sauce."
• A. young men of Warsaw ordered a dram;
suit from a tailor, who agreed to deliver it
on a certain day. Beoause of the failure of
the tailor to send it he could not go, but
hit rival went, proposed, and was tempted,
Ana the plaintiff now wants damages.
-Money makes the man but the man
hae to make the Money first. •
--Omalaseha's right out when ever Conn -
oil Bluffs:.
at alt likely. But what can it be, I won- time been arreste antaken p
der? At any rate, 1 meet go. Soker, street, When after some difeoulty, Mr. think the Kansas City deeiston is right.
When Dom Pedro of Brazil lay eiak unto
death in Italy, not very long ago, he told
his nurse one morning that he had had. a
dream. "An old man cisme to me," said
Dorn Pedro, " and in a moot earnest way
informed me that I should lose my crowzi
before I lost my life.
The new Mayor of Birmingham, at a
meeting of the Diocesara Church of Eng-
land yeraperance Society, said that from
ingteriee he had made at Somerset House
he found that out of 688 shareholders in
local breweries 115 (or more than one-sixth)
were clergymen and women.
Has a man a right to kiss his wife in a
theatre? This is the burning question of
the hour in Eames City, where the author-
ities have decided in the negative. Dr. A.
M. Goldetein end his wife prepared a test
ease, and after, some controversy were es-
corted outside by a policeman. The slab-
ect is a delicate one, but we are inclined to
The /Undoes commandments.
Thera ire ten oommandreente hong on,
the wall of the Maori Theological College
in Meares, Homeward Mail reproducer
them: "(1) Pray to Goa as soon as you.
rise from your bed 5.5.10 a.m. (2) Waal*
your body and keep your surroundings
°leen-5.10.5,30 a.m. (8) Prostrate your-
self before your parents or guardians an
take good exercise -5.80.6.80 a.m. (4)Pen-
pare well yeav sehool leesons-e.30-9 Luta
(5) Attend %school regularly and punatually
aod do the (school work properly.( 6) Obey
ana respect your teechers and the teacher*
of the other classes: and other respectable
persona. (7) Bead t1118 p.m. *thorn°. 01
Pray to God and go to bed -9 p.m. to 5
a.m. (9) Keep good company. and avoid
boa company. (10) Practice righteousness
at all tirnes."---London Stantlard.
Tatation Without Representation.
Sexton -Kr. Healthy, I celled to get your
share of the faad annually subscribed for
keeping the cemetery in repair.
Mr, elealthy--Well, I've concluded
won't pay any more towards it. I've con-
tributed for fifteen years and none of ray
family have se yet got e cent's worth of
benefit from it.
Moro Than One Kind of elootelt.
"Do you like the Soot& ?" &eked one
traveling Man of another who was reading
Burin. s
"Yes," was the reply, "if it's cold weathe
sr and the Sootah is hot enough."
--"The good die young "applies most em-
phatically to °kir:kerns.
Robert Downing intends to dramatize
Sir Walter Soott's " Talisman." The
first act is already completed, and the
tragedian is hard at 'work on the remaining
ones.
It is now, settled that the new Royal
Observatory for Scotland will be ereoted
on the left shoulder of Blackford Hill,
Edinburgh, where already, in a temporary
building, observations are being made.
WI1AT A01711'11E5 MI.
Religion. Politics or War,
Agitate not the world at present ;
There is one all -absorbing question
That 'wakens thoughts both sad and pleasant;
It is "Where is the cheapest place
TO buy a decent Christmas present 0"
Rev. Poser- -I defy you to give me one
good reason why the apostles ehouldn't be
believed: Mr. Inoredulaue-They were,
fishermen.