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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2005-03-31, Page 5Other Views THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, MARCH 31, 2005. PAGE 5. Take me out to the shell game Consider the humble baseball. Not much to it - just a swatch of horsehide stitched around a ball of cork and twine innards. You can go out and buy one for about $7.99 plus tax. Unless said baseball is signed by the guy who last belted it out of the park. Then you might pay thousands - even millions of dollars for the privilege of ownership. It’s crazy but it’s true. Charlie Sheen, the actor, paid over $93,500 U.S. for the infamous baseball that Bill Buckner bobbled in game six of the 1986 World Series. The first ball Babe Ruth knocked over the wall of Yankee Stadium sold for 130 grand. Mickey Mantle’s 500th homerun ball went for a quarter of a million bucks. Who pays this kind of money for a lousy baseball? Baseball nuts - of whom there are no more fanatical fans in the universe. And they don’t just shell out dough for baseballs. Arizona Diamondback’s Luis Gonzalez sold a wad of bubblegum - used bubblegum - for $10,000. Somebody bought a set of Ty Cobb’s false teeth for $7,475. And a besotted fan once forked over $25,000 for Nolan Ryan’s jock strap. How much would you pay for a second­ hand baseball bat? Somebody shelled out $1.26 million for the stick Babe Ruth used to swat his first home run in Yankee Stadium 82 years ago. What, aside from their history, sets these bats and balls and jock straps apart from all the other bats, balls and jockstraps in the locker room? Simple - they’re signed. The bat has ‘Babe Ruth’ etched on it in large Tory and Davis a little too cozy If John Tory gets elected premier, will William Davis be back running Ontario? The new Progressive Conservative leader and former premier are embraced in a love-in that makes Prince Charles and Camilla look lukewarm. Tory, who was Davis’s principal secretary, and his one-time boss are seen together constantly, showering praise on each other, a mutual admiration society between present and past unprecedented in Ontario politics. Davis has pushed hard to get his protege elected somewhere. He first boosted him for mayor of Toronto, citing his “talent and great social conscience,” but was rebuffed. Davis encouraged Tory to run for Conservative leader, although not officially because former leaders traditionally do not take sides. But Tory called himself a moderate and he and others said he resembled Davis, and this became a large part of the argument for picking Tory. Davis went to the convention that chose Tory and urged the party to unite. Davis also traveled to a riding north-west of Toronto to plug Tory when he was picked to run in a by­ election, and said he is dedicated to serving the public. Davis said Tory is a fiscal conservative with a social conscience, so “he did learn something from me.” Tory put a testimonial from Davis on the front of his campaign literature in which he said Tory would make Ontario “the great province it once was” and provide collaborative leadership. Tory said he will be like Davis and John Robarts, another former premier, in both encouraging individual initiative and helping those less fortunate. Arthur Black loopy letters. Ty Cobb’s false teeth have his signature scrawled across the upper plate. And Nolan Ryan’s jockstrap? Well - it’s signed, okay? Is this good for the players? You betcha. A name baseball player can pocket 10 grand (tax free of course) just for sitting down and signing baseballs for a couple of hours of an afternoon. The great left fielder Ted Williams actually made more money signing autographs than he did in his whole career as a player. But here’s the ultimate irony for all those money-dripping, trivia collecting maniacs out there - most of what they pay for is phony. The entire celebrity signature industry is awash in bogus autographs. Experts reckon that less than a quarter of all Marilyn Monroe and Elvis Presley signatures are legit. They say only six per cent of signed Beatle memorabilia was ever touched by Beatle hands. Golfer Tiger Woods won’t even sign his golf balls anymore because he’s seen so many fakes out there. As far as baseball memorabilia goes, the people who know say that 75 per cent of the signed stuff on sale is ‘inauthentic’. Can’t the fans figure this out? Can’t they see a scam waiting to happen? You would think so. As U.S. federal Some riding Conservatives described Tory as “Bill Davis coming back in younger form.” Davis also was pictured with Tory when he won, and praised him for having moderate policies. Tory responded he will try to emulate Davis’s “decency and coroperative approach.” This involvement was a departure for D^vis, who had been seen little in provincial politics since he retired, mainly because he and the far right wing premier Mike Harris lacked enthusiasm for each other’s policies. Davis joined attempts to revive his federal party, however. As well he returned briefly when Harris was down in polls before the 1999 election and asked Davis to endorse him. He gulped and did. Tory and Davis are much more on the same wavelength, but the Conservative leader has given himself problems by resurrecting the former premier and emphasizing their close relationship. New leaders normally try to distance themselves from their predecessors to show they are different, can stand on their own feet and not be beholden. Tory risks being accused of being a puppet manipulated by Davis or controlled by a Svengali or Rasputin - there are no end of colourful comparisons opponents can drag in. Davis also had a mixed record and was not quite the model of moderation and fairness he prosecutor David Rosenbloom says, “Why is it that if someone gave you a $50 cheque signed by Derek Jeeter, you would call the bank, but if somebody charged you $900 for a signed jersey, you would say ‘Thank you.’” Even when the memorabilia is genuine, its value is...illusory to say the least. Canadian comic book tycoon and megamillionaire Todd McFarlane once shelled out $3 million U.S. for the privilege of owning Mark McGwire’s 70th homerun ball. A gobsmacking amount of moolah - but after all, no one in history had ever hit 70 home runs in a season, right? Right - until the year after, when Barry Bonds came along and lofted 73 balls out over the bleachers in one season. McFarlane’s ball went from being worth $3 million to $7.99 - with one swing of the bat. Ah, well. The long-suffering Chicago Cubs fans know how to treat a celebrity baseball. You remember the 2003 playoffs when Cubs fielder Moises Alou leapt to snag a ball, only to have a fan in the stands snatch the ball out of his glove? Steve Bartman was the fan and the ball which he caught became known as ‘the Bartman ball’ - a voodoo curse which Cubs fans insist lost them the game and a chance to go on to the World Series. Last month. Cubs fans had their revenge. At Harry Caray’s restaurant in Chicago, a chef served up the Bartman ball (which had been dissected and marinated in Budweiser for several months) in the form of a pasta sauce. Dedicated Cubs fans were able to dine on the object of their loathing and ultimately to ... put it behind them, as it were. Todd McFarlane, eat your heart out. now is commonly portrayed as. Davis was more aware of social needs, but his solution to every concern was to crea.e a new program and he ran up huge deficits that would not be admired today. He also was lavish with friends, steering lucrative government contracts to those who ran his election campaigns. Far from being collaborative, Davis made all major decisions by himself or with a small group of mostly unelected cronies These are not just criticisms by enemies and some were made by Conservatives respected in the party today. Norm Sterling, the longest-serving member of the current Conservative caucus and a minister under Davis, has recalled the way Davis made important decisions without consulting as “distasteful.” Bob Runciman, who until recently was interim Conservative leader and served under Davis, attacked Davis at the time for spending hundreds of millions of dollars on buying private properties including part of an oil company the province later had to sell back at a fraction of cost, and Davis froze him out of promotion. Premier Dalton McGuinty’s Liberals could dig up a lot more quotes like these and this is not "a record a Conservative running for premier should remind voters of. Tinal Thought A life spent making mistakes is not only more honourable but more useful than a life spdrt in doing nothing. - George Bernard Shaw Bonnie Gropp The short of it Fun in the kitchen / It’s funny what can strike a chord with you. A gesture, a song, a scent can each produce an effect when given at the right time or said by the right someone. My right someone turned out to be a handsome dude and the chord he struck was done with just a few simple little words. “Grandma, did you make cookies?” 1 have to tell you, folks, there was no end to the warm fuzzies that little remark gave me. A few weeks prior to this I had an unprecedented desire, at least of late, to do some baking. Mark and I don’t need it, but remembering how much I used to enjoy sugar and spicing my family, and in the mood for a little therapy, I decided to dig into some dough and fill my kitchen with the wonderful fragrance of homemade cookies. My visiting grandson of course had his share prompting his question to me on his next visit. I am a modem woman who on the outside at least, appears to have little use for the aged stereotypes. I believe the drudgery of housework, once solely the domain of the female, is equal opportunity employment. To be honest, I’ve gotten the better deal. As comedian Tim Allen has stated, men are good for lawn care and car maintenance. Far be it from me to argue. Yet, my husband will do laundry if he must, he will vacuum when he sees the need, and has been known to pick up a tea towel mere frequently than I had ever thought possible. But because he will, it surprisingly doesn’t matter as much that he does. And I have since discovered that when it comes to cooking and baking, I’d just as soon he stay away. As the garage is his domain, the kitchtn, I am happy to admit, is nnne. It’s always given me pleasure creating meals for my family. I enjoy planning. I like digging out recipes plain and true or exotic and new. There is a sense of accomplishment in the preparation and a good deal of satisfaction seeing the end result appreciated. Since my family has grown the opportunities are not as they used to be. Meals such as last weekend’s Easter get-together prompted, are few and far between. They are, for my part, eagerly anticipated. I do enjoy cooking and baking, but I also want the positive reaction. I don’t cook for myself; I cook for my family and my friends. Second helpings make my day. I don’t just take pride in knowing that they like my cooking, but am happy to have done something to please them. It certainly isn’t this way for everyone, but my ability to prepare food that my family enjoys is one element that defines me as a person. I do not feel diminished in any way that I like such housewifely duties. The ability to produce a good wholesome meal, complete with a decadent dessert or two, is important to me. It’s about the kind of wife, mother, and now grandmother that I am. My grandson was barely able to speak when he figured out the strengths of his Daddy’s parents. Papa’s the guy to do work with, to roughhouse and go for walks. Grandma is the one who got the bandaids, who cuddles and makes the snacks “Grandma, did you make cookies?” was not just a request for a treat as far as I’m concerned, but also an image. Grandma and homemade cookies are a big part of my memories and I’d be thrilled to think they might be part of his.