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THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 3, 2005. PAGE 5.
You say tomato; I say yuck...
Come quickly! I am tasting the stars!”
So spake a venerable Benedictine
monk by the name of Pierre Perignon
in a French vineyard nearly four centuries ago.
He had just put to his lips a brand new variety
of wine for the first time. The world would
come to know this wine as champagne.
I wonder what the old monk would say if I
could guide him down the produce aisle of any
modern Canadian supermarket and persuade
him to bite into a ‘vine-ripened' imported
tomato.
My guess is he’d say something like: “Mon
Dieu - 1 am tasting cardboard!”
Most of our tomatoes at this time of year
come from Florida. The Panhandle State ships
out over a billion pounds annually and Canada
is the number one export market.
My question is ‘Why?’ Why do we continue
to purchase and eat these tasteless blobs?
Exactly what the hell have they done to the
good old ‘love-apple’ that used to taste so
fine?
Actually, I can answer that question:
they've graded them, just like eggs. A No. 1
tomato is firm, smooth-skinned and almost
perfectly spherical. A No. 2 tomato is round
and only slightly rough. A No. 3 is a just a
little misshapen and perhaps ever so slightly
blemished.
Notice something missing there, kiddies?
That’s right - taste. There are absolutely no
points awarded for what a tomato does to your
palate
That's because ‘taste’ doesn’t even register
on the agriculture industry’s radar screen.
Residents with causes appeal to courts
Dog owners are threatening to sue
Ontario’s Liberal government, but
they will have to stand in line.
Individuals and organizations with many
causes are queuing to challenge in court what
they see as intrusions in their lives and a march
toward a "nanny state.”
Premier Dalton McGuinty may have to slip
furtively out of side doors to avoid someone
slapping another writ on him.
Dog owners and breeders who oppose
legislation to ban pitbulls have warned if it
becomes law they will launch a court action to
have it declared unconstitutional.
The group says among many flaws the
legislation does not define clearly what a
pitbull is and the Constitution guarantees
citizens the right to laws they can understand.
The Liberals have designated a large area of
south-central Ontario as greenbelt, preventing
development on it for what they consider the
public good. But owners seeing their values,
and for some their future pensions, fall, are
demanding compensation and threatening to
sue if refused.
The Liberals are stuck without an exit in
their legal fight to limit toll increases on
Highway 407 northwest of Toronto, which the
previous Progressive Conservative
government sold to private owners.
A court has ruled there is nothing in the
sales contract that requires the private owners
to obtain government approval to raise tolls.
But McGuinty promised a rollback and has
declared his lawsuit will continue.
Parents of autistic children have launched an
action claiming the province is failing to fund
adequately expensive therapy essential to give
the children a meaningful education.
The Canadian Taxpayers Federation has lost
a suit in which it claimed McGuinty breached
a contract because he signed an agreement
with it in the 2003 election not to increase
taxes, but raised them in his first budget.
Government lawyers countered he was well-
Arthur
Black
Over the past half century, plant engineers
have busted their humps to breed new tomato
varieties that have greater yields, hardier pest
resistance and shorter growing seasons.
But according to Donald Davis of the
University of Texas Department of Chemistry
and Biochemistry, we paid a price for those
‘advances’.
“When you select for yield,” says Davis,
“crops grow bigger and faster, but they don’t
necessarily have the ability to make or uptake
nutrients at the same, faster rate.”
Which means not only does the Brave New
World tomato not taste anything like the
tomatoes grandma used to grow, it's a pale
reflection in the nutrition department as well.
A study conducted by the aforementioned
University of Texas concluded that a typical
tomato grown today contains 40 per cent less
vitamin C, 40 per cent less protein and 40 per
cent fewer minerals than a tomato grown in
1950.
No wonder they taste so bad.
Solution? Easy. All Florida has to do is start
shipping Joe Procacci’s tomatoes.
Joe is a Florida tomato grower who does
produce tomatoes just like grandma used to
Eric
Dowd
From
Queens Park
intentioned in making his promise, but could
not have known the Tory government would
leave him a huge deficit, although everyone
else saw it coming. Also an election promise is
not a legal contract anyway.
A business association has warned
legislation under which the environment
ministry could impose fines up to $100,000 a
day on companies that allow pollutants to get
in waterways is ripe for legal challenge.
It would levy penalties without waiting for
courts to determine blame and the group says
this presumption of guilt could breach the
Charter of Rights and Freedoms.
Legislation to ban smoking in bars among
other public places from 2006 has upset
owners who spent lavishly providing
designated smoking areas that municipalities
led them to believe would be adequate. They
now warn this “will likely result in legal
action.”
Restaurants are poised to call their lawyers
over the Liberals’ plan to allow diners to take
their own wine to restaurants, an attempt to
divert attention from real issues like Liberal
broken promises.
Restaurants are legally liable for acts by
customers who drink too much and those who
bring bottles will be more difficult to supervise
and, if they cause problems, restaurants will
itch to put the blame where it belongs.
The Liberals have said they will ban hunts
of deer and other wildlife in fenced-in areas
because they are unethical and unsporting and
operators are demanding compensation and
grow.
They’re luscious, succulent, aromatic and
very, very popular. Just three years after Joe
started marketing them to grocery stores, his
sales tripled.
Unfortunately, Joe’s tomatoes have one
other characteristic that separates them from
the others: they are ugly. Kinda lumpy and
misshapen with irregular bumps and bulges.
In fact the official name of the variety he
created is the Ugly Ripe.
And that's the problem. The Orlando-based
Tomato Committee, which vets all tomatoes
that leave the state, has banned the sale of Joe
Procacci’s Ugly Ripes because they're, well,
too ugly.
The committee claims it hasn't banned
Procacci’s produce at all. He just has to throw
out the fruits that don’t come up to the Number
2 grade - you know - smooth-skinned, firm
and almost perfectly round.
Which is to say, pretty well every Ugly Ripe
tomato Procacci grows. Last year, come
harvest time, he ended up ploughing under
more than 20 tons of tomatoes - every day.
That’s why this winter you will search in
vain at your supermarket for Procacci’s
homely provender. The Ugly Ripe is not
available.
That is why the tomatoes you buy will
uphold the tradition of winter store-bought
tomatoes in Canada. They will slice well, fry
nicely, stew adequately, keep indefinitely.
And taste like mulched Yellow Pages.
Nice and round, though.
threatening to sue if they are forced out of
business.
Defence lawyers are trying to take the
government to court on the claim it violates
human rights by forcing prisoners to sleep on
floors and restricting their access to exercise
and legal counsel in overcrowded jails. The
government is countering courts cannot micro
manage jails.
Courts already are clogged and judges and
lawyers are complaining this is causing unfair
delays in hearing cases.
Lawyers also say in a new survey legal fees
have increased tremendously over the past
decade and out of proportion to the costs of
other products and services.
The Liberals are not making everyone
happy, but a lot of lawyers are licking their
lips.
Letter
THE EDITOR,
I am writing to correct some
misunderstandings reported in the edition of
Jan. 27 “HE looks at library upgrades.”
The Huron County Library Board has never
recommended that the Brussels, Bayfield, or
Zurich libraries be dosed.
While the Zurich and Bayfield libraries are
indeed open 20 hours a week (more in the
summer in Bayfield), the Blyth, Brussels and
Hensail libraries are not - yet; they are
recommended to have 20 hours of service per
week in this 2005 budget, which has not yet
been passed by county council.
Only the following branch libraries are open
on Sunday afternoons: Clinton, Exeter,
Goderich, Seaforth and Wingham. This
service is especially enjoyed by families and
students.
Beth Ross
County Librarian
Huron County Library.
Bonnie
Gropp
The short of it
The patient patient
I have crested the hill and am peering down
the other side. What’s more important is
that that uphill climb really Jiasn’t hurt me
too bad thus far.
Truly, health-wise I’ve been doing okay for
my age. I still have all the original parts with
only a few minor alterations here and there.
One’s health can change in a heartbeat, I know.
But for now things are ticking along just as
they always have.
I am grateful and unabashedly proud, though
I can hardly claim responsibility. While I do
have some lifestyle habits that perhaps
contribute to my physical well being. I'd have
to put most of the benefit down to plain old
luck.
Such good fortune means that 1 don't spend
a lot of time in the doctor’s office. However. I
am faithful about that annual checkup. Being
in good health might seem to some that this
regular visit is nothing but a waste of time, but
I’ve never seen it that way. What could be
sadder than hearing bad news about your
health, followed by the statement, “If we’d just
caught it sooner...’? There can always be
surprises and if they ever turn up I want to hear
about them as early as possible.
So every year I make my appointment,
faithfully, fitting it into the doctor’s schedule,
of course, not mine. I often have to take time
from work to travel to the clinic. I arrive early.
Then I wait, and wait, and wait, patiently,
because I believe this visit is one of the most
important things I can do for me.
Unfortunately, like all else in this life, I can
only take control so far. Last October, knowing
how far ahead my doctor is booked, 1 called to
make an appointment for early May. I was told
I'd have to call in the new year because they
didn’t have the book for 2005. Last week I
called again. This time 1 was told they were
booked through to June, the doctors don’t do
annual examinations in the summer, and tney
don’t have the book for September yet.
Unable to shoot the messenger 1 hung up,
feeling rather frustrated. I ’ong ago accepted
that in an emergency the doctor who treats me
is not likely to be my own. Now apparently
seeing him once a year for the examination he
and his colleagues stress as being very
important is difficult too.
I’m old enough to remember fondly when
seeing your doctor was more on your terms
than his. Office hours were held in the
evenings as well as during the day. And a
house call for everything from indigestion to
the measles was standard.
I've generally tried to give doctors their due.
Their education is exhausting. Dealing with
life and death has to be stressful. The
responsibilities are enormous. They are
expected to be scientist and nurturer. able to
understand the complexities of the hum,in
body while administering to the spirit.
For all of these reasons I have never
begrudged them their status, economically,
professionally or socially. I have defended
them against people who think they have lost
sight of what being a doctor means.
But they don’t make it easy.
I recently heard about a doctor in Louisiana.
Dr. Mauterer has been a constant in his small
town for 29 years, single-handedly keeping the
hospital open, working round the clock, even
donating his own blood to a patient when
needed. Probably even does physicals in the
summer.
“1 can’t imagine anything more satisfying
than being a country doctor,” he says.
There, unfortunately, is something you don't
hear every day.