Loading...
HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2005-01-06, Page 5Other Views THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, JANUARY 6, 2005. PAGE 5 He reads to us, for heaven’s sake! So Dan Rather, venerable CBS news anchorman is going to hang up his headphones in March. And you would think from the news coverage that a king was abdicating, a literary giant had gone mute or possibly a pope had passed. The man reads to us. for heaven’s sake. He puts on makeup, straightens his tie, sits behind a desk and recites off a teleprompter while pretending to look us in the eye. This is not brain surgery. It is not even bricklaying. And yet Dan Rather in particular and news anchormen in general, are accorded a status in modern culture just slightly below' that of basketball wizards and Hollywood hunks. What is it about the anchorman? Why do TV networks line up to shower them with gobs of dough, drape them in Armani and Hugo Boss and altogether treat them like demi-gods - all for doing what our moms and dads used to do for free - namely, read us to sleep at night? Actually. I do TV news anchors a disservice. They not only have to read well, they have to look like a Ken Doll while doing it. Good looks were not a requirement in the radio business, where I spent my career. A radio newsman could look like Gollum as long as he had a good voice and didn’t trip over his tongue. And it’s no longer entirely true that we worship at these guys’ clay feet. Ted Baxter changed all that. The genial dope on the Mary Tyler Moore show who managed to mangle every newscast Protection needed from guards The last time this writer saw security guards in action five of them were beating up a man lying on the ground. The man was a bicycle courier who had the effrontery - the utter gall — to lean his bike against the side of the building the guards watched over. They rained punches on him as he struggled to get free and passers-by shouted comments such as, "that’s not fair” and “let him go." The courier, several spectators informed the reporter, had parked his bike against the building instead of in cycle racks. The guards apparently disliked this because it spoiled the tidy look. They put their own lock on the courier’s bike and. when he came out, refused to unlock it and allow him to leave. Both sides pushed and shoved, but no punch was thrown. Then a group of guards suddenly jumped on the courier and threw him to the ground. A few minutes later two police officers called by the guards arrived and. guided only by the guards’ version and without seeking any independent information, accepted the courier was in the wrong. They jerked the man, who was in his 20s, to his feet and handcuffed him, although he was pleading not to be handcuffed and saying he would leave quietly. The courier was struggling only slightly and no-one could claim he was resisting arrest, but the police officers threw him heavily to the concrete pavement, still handcuffed so he could not break his fall, then picked him back up and hau-led him off. chastened, to their cruiser. All sorts of solid-looking citizens, who perhaps had jurisdiction over many millions of dollars that day because this took place in the heart of Toronto’s financial district, milled around saying this was unfair, but not knowing what to do about it. The reporter, used to collecting names. Arthur Black that long-suffering Murray Slaughter wrote for him, set the mold for the popular stereotype of news anchors. He had the big hair. He had the big voice. He had the big ego. And he was major league dumb. And Ted Baxter begat Jim Dial of Murphy Brown and Bill McNeal of News-Radio and Kent Brockman of The Simpsons and, most recently Anchorman's Ron Burgundy. Buffoonish blow-dried bubbleheads to a man. There are a lot of theories about why we love to laugh at anchors. Adam McKay, the guy who co-wrote and directed the movie Anchorman says “Ultimately it’s just about the hair.” Well. 1 dunno about that. Admittedly Ted Koppel’s hair is a wonder to behold. It looks like some bizarre sculpted shrub in the process of eating his face. And then there’s CTV’s Craig Oliver whose hair tone shimmers between green and orange. And Peter Mansbridge who is rapidly running out of anything to comb. I don’t think it’s the hair. 1 think it’s the fact that news anchors are authority figures and as such, always good for a giggle. And let’s face Eric Dowd From Queen’s Park obtained those of five spectators who said the guards struck the first blow. When police charged the courier with assaulting one of the guards, these spectators were called by the courier’s lawyer to testify, while the prosecution called only the guard who claimed he was assaulted, and the judge threw the case out. Security guards form one of Ontario’s fastest-growing industries, watching buildings, and the people using them. The buildings include offices, stores, shopping malls, airports, public housing, university campuses and industrial sites. Merchants have even hired them to patrol streets. There are now estimated to be about 50,000 doing such work. The exact number is unknown, because the province does not require all to be licensed, depending on their precise duties. It also requires training for only a limited few, particularly those who carry weapons such as guns and batons. Some public-spirited employers provide training, but many offer little or none to keep their costs low in an industry in which bidding Final Thought Time is a created thing. To say “I don’t have time”, is like saying, “I don’t want to.” - Lao Tzu it: they ask for it. They look preposterously pompous, sitting all puffed up behind their desk with their solemn owl eyes and their chins tucked into their shirt collars to make their voices deeper. Pompous? You bet. Listen - the most famous North American newscaster of the 20th century, Walter Cronkite, actually had the cojones to end each newscast by intoning biblically “and that’s the way it is...” No Walter, that’s not The Way It Is. That’s the way one TV producer and a couple of cameramen plus a scriptwriter agreed to say it was. based on (he people they’d talked to and the film footage they’d managed to slap together over the previous 24 hours. Luckily we don’t have to work too hard at pricking anchormen’s ego balloons - they do a perfectly good job of it themselves. Such as the radio newscaster who legendarily signed off a national broadcast with the words: “And that was the news from the Canadian Broadcorping Castration”. And my favourite: back in 1965 when the famous Black Muslim leader Malcom X was assassinated. I happened to be in the control room during a radio broadcast in Toronto. Suddenly an out-of-breath news announcer burst into the studio, shouldered the show host away from the microphone and breathlessly told the nation: “This is an urgent bulletin from the CBC newsroom in Toronto. Malcom Ten is dead.” Sorry. Walter, but 1 was there. And that’s the way it was. for contracts is highly competitive. Many also pay guards little more than the minimum wage and attract mostly those who have little edu.’ation and alternative job prospects, and turnover is huge. A coroner’s inquest into the death of a suspected shoplifter handcuffed and held on the floor by store employees and guards, recommends the province license all guards and train them particularly in how to restrain. Successive governments of all three political parties have long ignored complaints of shortcomings in the industry. Liberal Community Safety Minister Monte Kwinter has now introduced legislation under which the province will require all security guards, including bouncers in bars, to be licensed to recognize their growing number and to protect the public. Guards, both cunent and future, will have to pass tests to obtain or renew licences. The province also will establish a code of ethics for guards to follow and ensure they are trained in such essentials as powers of arrest, use of force, first aid. communications skills and sensitivity to the public. This latter presumably will not allow guards to beat up a guy for parking his bike in the wrong spot. Letters Policy The Citizen welcomes letters to the editor. Letters must be signed and should include a daytime telephone number for the purpose of verification only. Letters that are not signed will not be printed. Submissions may be edited for length, clarity and content, using fair comment as our guideline. The Citizen reserves the right to refuse any letter on the basis of unfair bias, prejudice or inaccurate information. As well, letters-can only be printed as space allows. Please keep your letters brief and concise. Bonnie Gropp The short of it It’s all about today Let the countdown begin. A 'circle of friends, once a little rowdy, now silent await the final few seconds. As the clock ticks down they begin the chant — “10, nine, eight, seven...”, until they arrive at a new year and wonder just what all the fuss was about. Like many as the midnight hour of last Saturday approached, I acted out the annual ritual to welcome in a new year. But. you know, you just can’t ignore the fact that it’s all kind of a little silly. Jan. 1. 2005 arrived and nothing changed. That is unless you look back. 1 don’t think many would argue that it just doesn't seem possible we’ve ended another year. Time marches on and I for one am having a difficult time keeping up. The interesting thing about those 365 days is that while they may fly by quickly, they can bring with them a great deal of change. The start of a new year is an occasion to reflect on the previous 12 months. And as we reflect we can often be surprised by all of the things that have happened. As we enter the first few days of 2005, it’s hard to imagine what may occur as months pass. After all, we’ve been dramatically reminded recently that even a day on the beach can take a devastating turn we could never have anticipated. There will be surprises, some good, some unfortunately not so good. We may fact unexpected challenges and enjoy equally unexpected gifts. Before the year is over, a lonely person can meet someone to be their life’s companion. A child can be conceived and born. The good health we have come to expect may take a turn. Among the group of friends with whom we ce’ebrate each new year we have witnessed many blessings and some hardship over the years. There has been tragedy and adversity, but also successes and pleasure. One friend has been dogged by physical problems most of her life and we have watched her cope with concern. In typical life-likes-to-kick-you-when-you’re-alreadv- down fashion, one couple has faced some lough times with admirable courage, while another pair seems to have moved onto smooth waters after some rough going. Personally, I can look back at a year that has been one of mostly positive change and feel blessed for it. But I am evei aware how capricious life can be. The one thing we do know for sure, is that nothing about the next year can be taken for granted. There is also no point, however, in worrying about it or anticipating. As we awaited the countdown last weekend, I thought a bit about the year that was coming to a close. Like all those before I recognized it as a lovely place to visit, but not to dwell. Likewise, as the seconds clicked ahead. I realized that spending too much lime in the future is pretty much a futile exercise. Then when we called out Happy New Year, amidst the calamity of noisemakers and cheers, the hype and the silliness, it was gratifying to recognize the constancy of the moment. Looking back gets you nowhere, ahead is pointless. The only link to what’s real is the here and now. So as you begin a new year, try to leave what’s gone behind you. and remember that tomorrow doesn’t matter, because when it arrives it’s actually today.