HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2006-12-21, Page 22eason's greetings
From everyone at the
Schimanski Family Funeral Home
Merry Christmas
amt ad the best a.i tile New Year
from Frank, Jennie & Family
SCHIMANSKI FAMILY FUNERAL HOME 4
eason's
Greetings
To our
valued
customers
This holiday season, as you think on the birth
ofjesus Christ, may the gift of HIS unending
love be made real to you. Our warmest thoughts
are with you on this holiday occasion, along with our
thanks for your valued business.
Bachert Meats Inc.
Walton 519-887-9328
Secovie6, citeetingis,
Awn the ata# at
howic
k MUTUAL INSURANCE
COMPANY
Wroxeter, Ontario NOG 2X0
• Prompt Claims Service
• Competitive Rates
• Over 125 Years of Community Service
519-335-3561 1-800-265-3033
"Quality Service is the cornerstone of everything we do."
PAGE 22. THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, DECEMBER 21, 2006.
Facing death and the bereaved a fact of life •
Just around the corner
In a lovely place
And — all is well.
This is the final story in a
series on grief
By Bonnie Gropp
The Citizen '
"Death is a part of life. There's no
point in hiding it. No one gets out
alive."
Nancy Walker, an oncology, end of
life case manager with Community
Care Access Centre for Huron,
smiles when she talks about
society's tendency to shy away from
the topic of death and dying. "I tend
to think people are becoming more
open, but we do need to educate
them even more that it is simply
another part of life."
As a nurse, Walker said she was
often the one who sat at the bedside
of family members as they passed
away, much to the amazement of
some other relatives. "They couldn't
get over how I was dealing with it. I
could hold a hand and give
permission for the loved one to let
go, to stop their suffering. I have
always felt honoured that someone
would feel okay to pass away while
in my presence."
That attitude alio allows Walker to
meet the bereaved with an easier
manner than most people do.
"People need to have you talk about "
their loved one. Don't shy away
from it when you encounter
someone who's grieving."
Family and friends can help those
dealing with grief. Kathy Procter, a
grief counsellor with Huron Hospice
said that people are often afraid to
mention the name of the deceased
they are concerned they may upset
the one who is grieving. "You will
usually find that they want to talk
about the person. Tell funny stories.
They want to laugh, and cry. It's not
disrespectful to do both."
Procter suggests sharing pictures
from photo albums and videos if you
have them.
Pauleen Kerkhof, who lost her son
Joseph in 2004 said friends have
helped them through difficult times
by sending cards or calling. A friend
invited them over for supper on what
would have been Joseph's 15th
birthday.
Often a person will go out of their
way to avoid speaking with someone
who has suffered a recent loss. It's
important that the bereaved
recognize this is the other person's
problem not theirs said Procter.
Though she stresses that the
community as a whole was
wonderfully supportive, Kerkhof
said there were some people who
shied away from them. "Don't avoid
(those who are grieving). We need
you to talk about the people we
loved."
The bereaved aren't expecting
anyone to have answers to their pain.
"Sometimes people want to fix the
problem, try to replace the loss. You
can't. Just be there to talk," said
Procter.
She also notes that a person can
only help someone who is grieving if
they are ready to be helped. "If a
person chooses to wallow in self-
pity you can't change that."
While sharing stories is important,
when it comes to condolences,
Procter recognizes that well-
meaning people can often increase
the hurt. "People do care and want to
help. But sometimes their words are
not appropriate. For example, telling
s .)tpeone that their loved one is in a
better place, is insulting."
She feels that words are not that
important. "Listen and offer a hug if
they'll take it."
Don't forget the one who is
grieving after the first year. "Often
people will think of them because of
those first milestones, the birthday,
the anniversary, Christmas, then they
are left on their own. Remember
those milestones are still there for
them every year," said Procter.
Kerkhof agrees, saying that the
people who have continued to find
ways to show that they are thinking
of them has been appreciated. "It
really does help to know that people
care."
Children, said Procter, are often
forgotten in grieving. They too need
to hear the stories and share
memories. Don't be afraid to let
them see tears. Make sure they know
the loved one will be missed.
All is Well
Death is but a passing from one
home to.another
From this earthly home to a
heavenly home
Whatever we were to each other
That we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name
Speak about me in the easy way
which you always used
Put no difference into your tone.
Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed
together
Play, smile, think of me, pray for
me
Let my name be ever the
household word that it was
Let it be spoken without the trace
of a shadow on it.
Live means all that it ever meant
It is the same as it ever was
There is absolutely no unbroken
continuity.
Santa & Co.
A young-looking Santa made a brief appearance at Blyth
Public School's Christmas concert, sharing the stage with
Jordan Button and Brittanny Boyce. (Shawn Loughlin photo)
Although I am out of sight
I am not far away
Somewhere very near — Anonymous
OH4 bird eibilosse44
We'd like to step in with our best wishes
for a happy and joyous holiday season.
Thanks for helping us put our right foot forward.
256 Josephine St.
Wingham
• • 519-357-1840