HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2006-09-28, Page 5THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, 2006. PAGE 5.
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`Milk's leap toward immortality'
S omebody — obviously a devoted cheese-
ophile — once described cheese as
"milk's leap toward immortality".
Personally, I wouldn't leap too high in
defense of cheese. There are lots of different
kinds out there and one man's cheddar is
another man's gorgonzola.
Cheese and I didn't get off to a very good
start. The rest of my family favoured, for
unfathomable reasons, a gooey, fluorescent
orange confection called Velveeta. They ate
tubs of the stuff.
As a kid I was a bottomless pit and a
dedicated 'fridge raider. I would pluck out and
hoover back just about anything that wasn't
lashed to the refrigerator shelves — but never
the Velveeta. I would have gnawed the rubber
gasket off the refrigerator door before I'd sink
to that level.
To me, Velveeta looked (and smelled) like a
used diaper.
There's an irony there, because as I
discovered in later life, a lot of delicious
cheese, well...stinks. The reek can range from
cheese that smells like unwashed feet to a
nostril-searing, pass-the-bucket stench
redolent of Junior's unwashed football
uniform mouldering in a high school gym
locker with a hiht of long-dead mouse thrown
in.
It's a sadistic little game we play with our
senses. We hoist a wedge of cheese to our
face: our nose cries "Yuk!" But our taste buds
croon "Yum!"
Nine times out of 10 the taste buds win.
Gorgonzola reeks but we eat it anyway.
Roquefort and Munster cheeses are pretty
whiffy. Camembert can make your eyes water
and there's a French cheese called Vieux
Boulogne that paramedics should use to revive
Rae forgets
Former New Democrat premier Bob Rae
says he feels comfortable and at home
' in the Liberal Party to which he defected
so what happened to all those nasty things he
said about it?
Rae, who is increasingly rated among the
strongest contenders for leader of the federal
Liberals, said he is in that party for the long
haul and committed to stay and work on its
team even if he fails to become leader.
This is a peculiar attachment considering
Rae found many faults in the Liberals in
Ontario and federally when he was premier
from 1990-95.
Rae declared Liberals "are not troubled by
having a philosophy — at least I can't find one."
He complained the Liberals who preceded
him in government played a dirty trick by
calling an election after three instead of four
years. because they expected an economic
recession and wanted to get the election over
before it hit, but voters saw through this.
Rae railed that when he fought the
recession, the Liberals contributed only
"doom and gloom and nasty negativism."
Rae alienated many of his own supporters
by forcing public sector employees to take
days off without pay to save costs and said
bitterly the Liberals opposed him every step of
the way, but offered no alternatives.
Rae fumed "the Liberals don't know what to
do except say no and oppose, day in and day
out. They know how to resist and obstruct, but
they don't know how to build. We are trying to
build a better Ontario and they are trying to
tear it down."
Rae mocked "The Liberals live in a dream
world in which there are no recessions, no
problems with financing and no need for any
management or control."
Rae said he never "heard a peep from the
Liberals proposing one constructive solution
heart attack victims.
And Blue Stilton! Why, Blue Stilton smells
so bad we...
...Dab it behind our ears???
Thought you'd heard of everything? Figured
that the weirdness quotient had been used up
in a world where people pay for bottled water,
vote for George Bush and accord celebrity
status-to airheads like Paris Hilton?
Not quite.
Make room for Eau de Stilton.
It's a perfume being marketed by the Stilton
Cheese Makers Association and yes friends;
they are dead serious. A company spokesman
explained (while maintaining a straight face):
"Our perfumier was able to capture the key
essence of the (Blue Stilton) scent and recreate
it in an unusual but highly wearable perfume."
Where do we go from here? Cheddar roll-on
deodorants? Brie cologne? Parmesan face
powder?
I hate to see the Stilton gang getting into the
perfume business. It can only lead to nasty
rivalries as cheesemakers attempt to outskunk
each other.
And that means, sooner or later. somebody's
going to roll out the Casu marzu.
Casu marzu is the plutonium bomb of
cheeses. It is native to Sardinia, and
fortunately seldom gets very far from its roots.
Casu marzu doesn't travel well. In fact
to the province's difficult challenges."
Rae said other provinces cut costs, but "The
Liberal party seems to be immune from the
outbreak of common sense taking place across
the country. It just wants to sit on the fence."
"I have no idea what the Liberal Party really
thinks should be done. All I know is whatever
"I do. it will be there to criticize, because
that's the traditional, old-style politics it
specializes in."
When Liberal leader Lyn McLeod appeared
to moderate a position, Rae scoffed "Boy, do
you ever change your mind? You really are a
Liberal, aren't you?"
Rae's criticisms were mainly of Liberals in
the legislature, but he did not spare federal
Liberals, whom he has now joined.
Rae accused the federal Liberal government
under then prime minister Jean Chretien of
unfairly cutting spending on shared-cost
programs and "discriminating against
Ontario."
Final Thought
I hope our wisdom will grow with our
power, and teach us, that the less we use our
power the greater it will be.
— Thomas Jefferson
there's not an airline in the world that would
let you bring it aboard.
It's kind of self-explanatory if you know
Sardinian dialect. Casu marzu means 'rotten
cheese'. Even if your nose is on strike you can
always tell if you've got some Casu marzu on
your plate.
It will be moving.
That's because Casu marzu is riddled with
dozens and dozens of living, wriggling
maggots. They are fly larvae deliberately
introduced in the fermentation process to give
Casu marzu its trademark runny, stinky
character.
Removal, of the maggots prior to ingestion
is....optional. Purists like to crunch them
along with the cheese.
If you ever.do summon up the nerve to try
some Casu marzu you might want to bring
along a pair of safety goggles. The maggots
are highly active and can jump up to six inches
when agitated.
And how dons Casu marzu taste? Awful,
apparently.
A food critic writing in The Wall Street
Journal, describes it as "a viscous, pungent goo
that burns the tongue and can affect other parts
of the body".
Indeed it can. Indulgers run the risk of
intestinal lesions, nausea, vomiting,
hallucinations and bloody diarrhea.
Cheese. I recently read a front page story in
a British newspaper that starts out: "A
deranged cheese counter assistant has been
convicted of terrorizing a leading Limehouse
psychiatrist for more than a year."
Check the guy's passport. Sounds like a
Casu marzu junkie to me.
Rae said the federal Liberals "sorely and
badly shortchanged Ontario" and their cuts in
social programs were "the most blatant act of
discrimination ever carried out by a federal
government."
Rae complained the federal Liberal
government contributed "far less for Ontarians
in need than it does for those living in other
provinces."
Rae also criticized Chretien for failing to
eliminate the goods and services tax, "the one
fundamental promise he made on behalf of the
Liberal Party," and taunted Ontario Liberals to
stand up to their federal leader and persuade
him.
Why would Rae forget all these differences
and throw in his lot with a party with which he
had disagreed so often so vigorously and had
so little in common?
Rae had become increasingly out of step
with NDP policies, but in another criticism
said he had long watched the Liberal Party and
— he presumably meant at the federal level —
"the one thing that sustains it, keeps it going,
keeps it strong .and keeps it together, is the
quest for power."
Rae has tasted power and wants it back. He
noted the federal Liberal Party is similarly
motivated and offers the best vehicle to take
him there, and grabbed it.
Letter
THE EDITOR,
We would like to express appreciation to
Brussels and area residents. The Terry Fox
Run raised $6,464.37 for cancer research.
Weo acknowledge Brussels Foodland for
donation of water, hot dogs and pop for run
day.
Doug McArter, organizer.
Home away from home
/t was a long trip after a busy work day. You
drag yourself out of the car, make your way
onto the welcoming porch, then into the
warmth of the familiar. Ahh, home at last.
Well, Almost Home anyway.
That's the name of the bed and breakfast
where my husband, myself and our friends
have stayed during an annual trip over the past
five years. The name has become somewhat
symbolic.
I admit I was a little reluctant when we first
investigated the B&B option for accommoda-
tion. I like my privacy and the idea of sharing
a breakfast table with strangers didn't hold a
lot of appeal to me.
However, during a search, photos of a cozy,
white-railed porch piqued my interest. Further
details revealed what seemed to be a perfect fit
for the four of us and we booked.
While that first stay was a little awkward for
"Oh Shy One" here, there was no question that
we had made an excellent decision. Our hosts
were great — friendly, knowledgeable about
the area, and social without being intrusive.
The food was incredible, and we left
convinced we would be back.
Five years later, we have come to know
them, and they us fairly well. We have shared
family worries, sadnesses and smiles. We have
discovered a common interest in the blues
(that would be music) and have learned a
surprising amount of things about each other
considering the short time we are together.
I found it interesting, too, how quickly we
four visitors established a routine in this
household. Friday evening upon arrival,
there's no need to ask about our room. We
made the choice the first year and it has
remained the same. Bags are dumped, hangers
draped and with munchies and beverage we
head for the porch, where we sit until the wee
hours of the morning.
Rising we come out to the dining room and
automatically grab the mug from the same
place at the table we've claimed as our own.
It's never crossed our minds, it seems to mix it
up. Then coffee in hand we head back to that
porch we love so much to await the call for one
of the best darn breakfasts anywhere.
While we indulge in the hedonistic homage
to gluttony, we are given suggestions on how
to spend our day, interspersed with Q&A about
family, work and travel. It truly has become
like a home away from home.
We were therefore saddened this year when
our hosts mentioned they may not continue
with their B&B for another year. Both are
looking to retirement and sure they don't want
to be tied to home.
Can't blame them. But as we left this time it
was with a sense that life has once again given
us a sign it's maybe time for a change. We
booked, but will probably make a decision to
go elsewhere. What's certain is that we will
once again be looking into bed and breakfast
establishments for our accommodation.
If you've never tried B&B, look into it for.
your next trip. It's not always any more
economical, but there's an intimacy and
warmth that one doesn't get in an impersonal,
utilitarian motel room.
Get on the interne and investigate. There
will be some turkeys out there, but when you
hit the one that's right for you, I think you'll
know.
One thing I know is that it's going to be
tough to top what we've had, and a few years
I'm sure before we'll feel we're almost home
again.
earlier criticisms