HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2006-07-20, Page 5THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, JULY 20, 2006. PAGE 5.
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Fancy footwear? What a croc!
Afew weeks ago in this space I wrote
that good old running shoes
('sneakers' to our neighbours to the
south) were the best thing to happen to the
human pedal extremity this side of a barefoot
stroll through warm Mississippi mud.
I was mistaken. That honour really goes to
Crocs.
They go by other names. Some folks call
them Jelly shoes. I've also heard described as
Holey Soles, Garden Trolls and even Dawgs
Clogs.
All those names describe a two-year old
phenomenon: one-piece slip-on sandals made
of a specialized closed-cell resinous foam
plastic and available in just about any colour
Timothy Leary could imagine. The uppers
look like they were caught in a drive-by
machine gun attack — they're full of holes that
serve as ventilation ports.
That's pretty well it for the croc, design-
wise. No laces, no arch supports, no shoe
tongues or fancy treads.
Which makes them dirt-cheap as modern
footwear goes. If you're a brand-name slave
you can pay anywhere from 30 to 60 bucks for
a pair of crocs. I got a pair of knock-offs for
$9.95 in a bargain bin at Superstore.
Even at that, manufacturers must be making
a killing, considering that a pair of these things
consist of nothing more than approximately
two bits worth of molded plastic.
But the price tag is not the main attraction of
crocs. What's turned this footwear into • a
US$100 million a year bonanza is the Comfort
Factor. Every step you take with a pair of crocs
on your feet is like a personal foot massage.
They are what the Earth Shoe was in the
Sixties and Birkenstocks in the Sevynties —
0 ntario's ruling Liberals are trying to
give the province a fancy new name
that would help them win an election,
but it is having difficulty catching on.
A Liberal backbencher in the dying
moments before the legislature adjourned for
the summer introduced a private member's
motion calling on the government to declare
Ontario a "province of character."
The Liberals have a majority of MPPs so it
was passed quickly, but the opposition parties
have raised concerns that may prevent it ever
being put into effect.
Markham MPP Tony Wong, who sponsored
the motion, explained a province of character
"is one in which elected officials, community
leaders, business heads, school boards, health
professionals and citizens recognize and
promote the importance of good character."
In a province of character, he said, everyone
works together to ensure families are strong,
streets and neighborhoods safe, education
effective, businesses productive, neighbors
care about each other and residents make wise
and healthy choices for their lives and
families.
Designating Ontario a province of character,
he said, would set an example for its cities,
towns and municipalities to follow.
Wong said municipalities in his area already
have declared themselves communities of
character, promoting values that include
honesty, integrity, courage, optimism and
compassion.
He said they were inspired partly by former
Liberal premier David Peterson, who in a
keynote speech made a strong case for a return
to fundamental values.
One argument against this is it puts the cart
before the horse, because a jurisdiction should
have earned the right to call itself one of good
character, rather than merely aspire to it,
only cheaper and better.
And, it must be said, homlier.
Crocs are butt ugly. They're called crocs
because they look like twin crocodile snouts
peeping out from under your pant cuffs.
But it's the Cabbage Patch Doll syndrome —
crocs are so abidingly homely that they're kind
of...loveable. Think Newman on Seinfeld. Or
maybe Gollum in Lord of the Rings.
And people do love them. They've become
favourites of hospital workers who have to
stand on cold, hard floors all day. Kitchen
workers, from chefs to dishwashers, adore
them for the same reason.
And the appeal of crocs appears to be near-
universal. Country singer Faith Hill appeared
on television sporting -a pair of crocs.
I knew they'd really arrived the last time I
was in Toronto. Walking past the Roots outlet
in the Eaton Centre I noticed that every
mannequin in the window was wearing a pair
of...you guessed it.
Even my brother wears a pair. Orange.
The word is that gardeners love crocs, but
frankly, I don't get that. I wore mine in the
garden for about 15 minutes:The vents in the
uppers took in so much soil I felt like
Huckleberry Finn.
That said, crocs are a snap to keep clean —
just wash 'em down with the garden hose. Or
before taking on the title.
Peterson's most recent contributions to
public life were to persuade Belinda Stronach,
whose biggest political strength is -her huge
bank account, to defect from the federal
Conservatives to the then Liberal government
in return for a cabinet post and to urge his
federal party not to pick former New
Democrat premier and old rival Bob Rae as
leader.
Integrity and compassion were not much on
display there.
Liberals who voted for the motion may feel
genuinely labelling Ontario a province of
- character would promote worthwhile values,
but it also would be a slogan that could help
them in an election and replace "choose
change," their battle cry in 2003.
The Progressive Conservatives helped
themselves stay in government from 1943-85
by calling Ontario the "province of
opportunity," which it was for many, but not
all.
The opposition parties' concerns have
focused on the theme Premier Dalton
McGuinty and his Liberals have not acted in
ways that entitle them to call their jurisdiction
a province of character or set examples that
encourage others to uphold better values.
Conservative Frank Klees pointed out that.
McGuinty, in the 2003 election, signed a
promise not to increase taxes, but quickly
jump in the lake if it's nearby. Crocs aren't
afraid of a little water. And they float.
Is there a downside to this shoe? Well, yeah.
They're supposed to be non-slip, but that's not
my experience. One afternoon I made the
mistake of walking out of a light rain shower
and onto the terrazzo floor of a grocery store.
It was like stepping onto a raft of banana peels.
I was windmilling and pratfalling like Mister
Bean in freefall. I just missed taking out three
shelves of bottled water and a Diet Pepsi
display.
I also don't recommend them for hiking.
There's zero ankle support and they can twist
under your foot in rough terrain.
Nor would I suggest walking on a wet deck
in crocs. Unless you want to know how
Steve Podborski feels when he hits a patch of
ice.
But for ordinary, everyday, informal wear,
when you're not trying to look cool or pick up
a date - slip into a pair of crocs. Your feet have
never had it better.
They remind me of a story about the great
W.H. Auden. When he was a young and
penniless, but up-and-coming English writer,
someone asked .him how his life would be
changed if he should one day find himself
famous and celebrated.
Auden thought about it for a moment and
then said, "I believe that I would always wear
my carpet slippers."
And so it was, years later that the Pulitzer
Prize winning poet was often seen at black-tie
functions decked out in a splendid tuxedo,
with bow tie and cummerbund.
And carpet slippers on his feet.
You just know Auden would have jumped at
the chance to wear a pair of crocs.
broke it, and promised to expand treatment to
a wider range of autistic children, but dragged
his feet.
Another Conservative, Laurie Scott, claimed
the Liberals have broken more than 50
promises and done nothing to help create a
province of character.
New Democrat Michael Prue argued that
McGuinty allows many to live on a paltry
minimum wage and social benefits that have
failed, to keep up with inflation, with little
hope of finding jobs, in run-down homes
riddled with vermin and gun violence on the
streets.
They have difficulty aspiring to be citizens
of character, he said, when they do not have
enough to eat and live in squalid conditions.
"How in a one-industry town, if the mill
shuts down, are they supposed to maintain and
be a community of character?" Prue said.
"How can you tell people to be of good
character when they see the affluence all
around them and have no opportunity to
participate?"
The Liberals with their majority in the
legislature can approve any motions they want,
but those passed in private members' debates
are not binding on a government and there is
so much hostility to this one it may never be
heard of again.
Final Thought
God, give us grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed, courage
to change the things which should be
changed and the wisdom to distinguish the
from the other.
— Reinhold Niebuhr
Shame on him
There's a lot of talk about how the
younger folk need to 'start taking
responsibility for their actions. They
don't care about other people, we hear. They
have no respect for someone else's property.
Oh, yes, and the older generation would
never behave like that, right? Well, let me tell
you a story.
It had been, all things considered, a
relatively good day. Work was fine, the
temperatures were warm and the sun was
shining. As I headed to my car at- day's end, I
noticed a note on the windshield. It instructed
me to go into a nearby office and they would
provide me with the licence number of the
vehicle that hit my vehicle.
A courier arriving in downtown Blyth had
seen a larger-model beige car strike mine and
the driver take off.
Now, in my book this is hit and run, a
criminal offence. That the man might have
been unaware hardly, seems possible
considering the damage to my car. And if he
was, he shouldn't be driving. All good reasons
to call the cops. I greatly appreciated the keen
eye of the witness and her sense of 'duty in
reporting the number. I assumed the
information would do me some good.
The police responded quite quickly given
the fact that this incident was fairly small when
taken in context with other troubles. The
officer checked the licence and told me where
the person was from.
Okay, I thought, let's get him. Well, no, first
let's check my ownership, my insurance and
my driver's licence. -The latter seemed
somewhat irrelevant to me, as I wasn't driving
at the time. However, I'm all about co-
operating if it's going to help.
After getting my statement, the officer, who
was polite and seemed genuinely sympathetic
more or less said he would do what he could,
but... Our insurance would cover the repairs,
and there was no fault, obviously as I wasn't
driving.
Well, no fault or not, it looks as .if the only
winner here is the guy who hit me. There is
$500 deductible on that vehicle. If we choose
to have the insurance company pay it, we will
have a claim which means our insurance is
going to go up. So it looks as if we get to eat
the total repair cost.
Making this even more frustrating is the fact
that this is the third time our vehicle has been
hit while parked in a downtown area and the
second time the individual has gotten off scott
free.
I'm puzzled, I really am. I'd be grateful to
anyone who can please explain to me why,
with the name of , the company for which the
courier worked, with the licence plate of the
vehicle, the individual responsible for this
mess isn't the one required to pay the cost of
clean-up. The law is a complicated study and
I'll agree that maybe there's just something I
don't understand. But right now, it kind of
makes me wonder if I ever ding a car in 'a
parking lot if taking off isn't the smart thing to
do.
Just kidding, of course. I'm a better person
than that. Damaging someone else's property
and not owning up to it is vandalism, whether
it's a kid tearing up someone's flowers or some
jerk who should have been mature enough to
know the problems his actions caused.
Shame on him.
Liberals want a fancy name for province