HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2006-01-12, Page 5THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, JANUARY 12, 2006. PAGE 5.
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Too much time on our hands
A wristlet? Why, I'd sooner wear
a skirt than a wristlet.
S uch was the prevailing sentiment among
manly men back in the early 1900s,
when the devices first showed their
comely faces.
A girly thing, for certain. Wristlets - we call
them wristwatches nowadays - were deemed
effete and frangible, exclusively the preserve
of elderly widows and swoon-prone damsels.
When a real man wanted to know what time
it was, he hauled a great honking gold watch,
the size of a hockey puck out of his fob pocket,
popped the lid and took a reading, like
Magellan sussing out the stars with a sextant.
Fortunately, tempus fugit and customs
change. The wristwatch gradually shed its
effeminate image.
And just as well, because the wristwatch is
such a phenomenally sensible idea. So much
more convenient than humping a bronze
sundial around on your back or strapping an
egg timer to your forearm and having to
remember to flip it every three minutes. The
wristwatch is lightweight, durable, accurate
and quintessentially handy.
So why do we keep screwing around with it?
I'm looking at a newspaper ad for something
called the Maxi Marine Chronometer, a
product from Ulysse Nardin, a swanky Swiss
watchmaker.
The ad tells me that the Maxi Marine
Chronometer comes with an official rating
certificate issued by the Swiss Official Chrono-
meter Testing Institute. It also says the device
has a self-winding movement, a power reserve
indicator and is water-resistant to 660 feet.
It doesn't say whether my Maxi Marine
Chronometer will give me the time of day.
Overdone as it is, this watch is one of the
more restrained models on the market. There
There are times a picture is worth a
thousand words 7 although a columnist
who uses words to make a living may
be reluctant to admit it.
This was the case when a Progressive
Conservative aide spotted an Ontario Liberal
cabinet minister outside a company in which
he has a financial interest and photographed
him, knowing ministers are not supposed to be
involved in businesses, because they make
decisions that affect them. ,
The picture prompted an investigation by the
integrity commissioner, who found
Transportation Minister Harinder Takhar
broke another rule, because he appointed a
friend to manage his assets in a blind trust
instead of the required arm's-length manager.
This has shaken Premier Dalton McGuinty's
government and would not have happened
without the picture as proof. The -Liberals and
probably most news media would have
dismissed it as just another Opposition party
allegation.
It now goes in a small gallery of memorable
pictures in Ontario politics. One showed
McGuinty smiling broadly in the 2003
election as he signed a pledge not to raisetaxes
sought by a taxpayers' group.
The promise brought McGuinty his biggest
grief, because he found the books were not
balanced as the outgoing Tories promised and
had to raise taxes. He has barely smiled since.
Another . well-remembered picture of
McGuinty, circulated by the Conservatives in
the 1999 election he lost, showed the usually
presentable then Opposition leader looking
uneasy and grim, as in a police mug shot. It is
a reminder that anyone can be photographed
displaying the whole range of emotions in an
average day.
One memorable picture was of Mike Harris
are wristwatches out there that spew out
barometer reckonings, compass bearings,-
depth readings and phases of the moon.
Perpetual calendar? No problem.
Built-in calculator? Stopwatch? Personal
alarm? Lap counter?
A dozen models to choose from.
See...here's the thing I want in a wrist
watch: I want it to tell me" what time it is
and...er, that's it, really.
I already have an alarm clock and a calendar.
I usually know whether I'm headed towards
the Arctic or the Antarctic and I mostly don't
care what the barometric reading or the phase
of the moon might be.
As for my watch being accurate 660 feet
underwater - if my wrist ever finds itself that
far beneath the waves, knowing the time of
day will be the least of my problems.
I know I'm behind the...times.
Not like cousin Jeff, who's on top of every-
thing, especially watches. He wears a Rolex
on one wrist and a Patek Phillipe on the other.
Not that he's satisfied. The other day Jeff is
walking through Union Station in Toronto
when he sees a ,guy coming towards him,
humping two huge suitcases. He also notices
the guy is wearing a drop-dead gorgeous
wristwatch on one arm.
"Excuse me," says my cousin Jeff, "That
watch on your arm it looks...special."
"My own invention," says the guy, setting
while Conservative premier golfing in Florida
in baggy shorts, cigar jutting from his lips, flag
in one hand, club resting against his leg,
prominent paunch and looking every inch a
bloated plutocrat living off the fat of the land.
It fuelled talk Harris lived in comfort after
slashing welfare benefits and stayed away
from his office while concerns were not dealt
with and Ontarians struggled in the cold.
Harris's Tory successor as premier, Ernie
Eves, was in a noted picture finishing a
hospital inspection with Health Minister Tony
Clement in the SARS crisis with their
protective masks hanging below their chins,
which nurses said set a bad example because
there was still danger.
The most famous photograph of long-
serving Conservative premier William Davis
showed him descending the steps in the forum
at Ontario Place, the spectacular waterfront
entertainment centre, after his party chose him
leader and premier. He had been transformed
from small town to big city looks with trendy
flowing sideburns and double-breasted suit
and students were clambering to shake his
hand.
Davis liked the picture so much he used it as
the centrepiece of an election campaign.
However, the close aide pictured with him,
David MacLeod, was not mentioned much
afterWards. He left government quietly after
down his suitcases. "Take a look." The
stranger hits a button and'the watch face shows
Ontario, the major cities and the current time.
"It's got time zones right across the world,
plus I've dubbed in regional voice prints."
He hits the button for Australia. The voice of
Crocodile Dundee comes out of the watch and
says "G'Day, mate - it's quarter of six—last
call."
My cousin Jeff is astounded but the stranger
isn't finished.
"Look at this," he says, and presses another
button. A high-resolution map of downtown
Toronto appears on the watch face, showing
the subway lines, current traffic conditions and
the score of the Blue Jays game going on down
at the Skydome.
"I have to have this watch," says my cousin
Jeff.
"Oh, no," says the stranger, "I'm still
working out the bugs. But check this out"
He hits another button. An FM radio
receiver in the wristwatch starts broadcasting a
production of Aida. Another button displays
the latest Toronto Stock Exchange quotations.
Still another connects to Paul Martin's back
room think tank.
Jeff blurts "I'll give you a thousand bucks
for the watch, right now!"
"Oh no," says the stranger, "I've spent more
than that on it already."
"Five thousand Ten thousand! Look," says
Jeff, "I'll give you 15 grand right now!
Whaddya say?"
The inventor says, "But it's not..." then
sighs, slaps his hand on the suitcases, slips off
the wristwatch. Cousin Jeff writes a cheque,
grabs the watch and starts to leave.
"Hey, hold on a minute," says the inventor,
pointing to the two suitcases.
"You forgot your batteries."
being convicted of indecent assault, went to
the United States, was charged there with
similar offences, disappeared, was put on the
FBI's most wanted list and was found later
dead on a frigid Montreal street.
The most famous and influential political
pictures taken in Ontario were in a federal
election three decades ago, but are worth
noting because the full stories behind them
emerged only a couple of weeks ago.
They showed federal Conservative leader
Robert Stanfield dropping a football in North
Bay and eating a banana in Toronto. They
made him look fumbling and unstatesmanlike.
A retired chief of picture services at
Canadian Press has written to a newspaper that
his agency sent newspapers several pictures of
Stanfield catching the ball at the same time
and it was unfair some published only one of
him dropping it.
TV already had snapped Stanfield eating a
banana and newspaper photographers missed
it, so the news agency sent a photographer
with a banana to catch him at the airport and
Stanfield graciously peeled and ate it while he
took his picture, which showed him warm and
patient.
Pictures tell the truth, but not always the
whole truth.
Letter
THE EDITOR,
Happened to read the editorial on
discrimination re "Narnia".
The writer has given some insight to the
working of the entertainment media. The
Citizen has also shown two essentials of sound
journaifon namely: reality and publish reality.
Keep up the good work.
It means nothing
/
recently received a card containing a
photograph from an old friend. Not a big
deal except for the friend, a minister in
Churchill, Manitoba.
I first met Buck 30 years ago. His wife and I
had become acquainted through an
organization to which we both belonged and,
despite a 15-year age difference, I soon
counted her among my closest and dearest
friends.
When I was first introduced to Buck, I
thought him to be an earthy fellow with an
almost country-boy charm, laid back and
uncomplicated. While not exactly what one
might call shy, he seemed content to be in the
background, never calling or drawing
attention.
It was surprising therefore to discover that he
had come from a rather privileged life, one of
old money and social status. Even more
surprising was the fact that he had turned his
back on this heritage to become... a sheep
farmer.
Understand, there was no rift, just a desire to
follow a dream. Buck (whom we now know
was actually Charles) and Gail, with their
young children, simply left the cosmopolitan
life, their well-to-do families, and moved to a
massive, drafty farmhouse in rural Ontario's
heartland. He wore the rubber boots and
denim with the comfort of a life-long farm boy
and worked hard to make the venture a success.
I'm not sure it worked for him, however.
The money-sucking, big old house, the
precariousness of agricultural production may
not have been the dream Buck had hoped for, I
don't know. It was never really discussed why
the couple sold their farm and moved to a small
country home, but they did within a brief time
after my husband and I met them. He probably
could have returned to his previous life, but no,
Buck went to work in a factory.
It was also about this time that he set off on
a path to fulfill another dream. Always
interested in theology, Buck began to take
university courses. It seemed to be a bit of a
joke for some as he never really discussed any
definite plan for the future.
And his simple manner had often, been
misconstrued by people. Had they taken the
time to really look, however, they would have
seen that that there was more to this gentle man
than met the eye.
Through the years none of us really talked
about Buck's goal very much, certainly not
giving it the recognition he deserved. But as
was his way Buck plodded on with quiet
confidence, course by course, degree by
degree.
Last year, at the age of 68 Buck was ordained
as an Anglican minister. He will have to retire
at 70, but for now he has been given the
opportunity to live his dream. The photo
included in the card he sent to us was of him
and his family at the front of the church, there
to mark this momentous time in his life.
They say to keep a mind sharp it's imperative
you continue to learn. By the time we reach
mid-life most would admit that the old grey
cells aren't working quite the same way they
did in our younger days. We don't all have to
be as courageous and dedicated as Buck was,
to take on the challenge that he did. But every
one of us can introduce ourselves to new
things, keep life fresh with different
experiences and never stop educating
ourselves.
Thanks Buck for the reminder that age
means nothing.
Pictures do have an affect on politics