The Exeter Advocate, 1888-8-2, Page 3titer-. r
NEWS OF THE DAY,
tnANADIAZT..
The rival telephone companies In Mont-
real 'are having a lively time.
¥any immigrainto in Montreal can find
no work and have ne money to keep, them.
An nnaucccesetal attempt was made to
wreck a train on the Central Ontario rail-
way.
Lord Stanley cannot visit Kingston to
apetethe•1'xoviuciel fair, tie the Toronto
date; conflict.
Owing to the excessive drought In Ring*
Ston private wells have to be supplied from
the city hydrants,
The coal combine in Montreal bas again
advanced the price of .coal, wbioh im expeot-,
ed to reach $$ a ton by the fan.
The WinniPeg City Council has made a
grant of $15,000 for the settlement cf vacant
lands in the vicinity of the city..
Sir John Macdonald and Lady Macdonald
arrived at Dalhousie, N. Ile on Tuesday
night, and wiIl remain for the season.
It is expected that between thirty and
forty thousand people will visit the Thon.
sand Islands during the present season..
The Dominion Government will appeal
against the judgment of the Chief Justice of
the Supreme Coact le the Ayers Custom
case.
Twenty tone of cotton were shipped yea-
terdey from: 1'.ingeton to Shanghais, China,
making the sixth ear'load emit Froin that
place.
Work at the Banff anthracite miaea has
been entirely impended. le oQnWIeeiiee of a
disagreement with the Canadian Reeifio
railway,
Owing to the absence of rain in the
neighbourhood of .Pittmburg, F:ontenao, the
paaturea have felled and the cattle are
starving.
It ie alleged at Ottawa bast the United
latazteabas agreed tooEo laud's proposition
regarding a settlement of the Behring'a Sea
question,
An immense meeting of workingraen was
held. in Montreal on Saturday night, at
which reaolntfons were passed proteating
against pauper Immigration,
An order in Connell makes the Season for
fly fishing for salmon in the andel lnortiona
of the river* et Quebec. Nova Scoria and
Newllrunewiek from Feb. 1 to Aug, U.
By inanatruatlone received from 1. O. De-
paxtn*ent, Ottawa, the regiatretionlee inthe
case of lettere interaded for registration
should ben prepaid by a aregistratieu etampn
only.
The Quebec Salvationtata were attacked
ley roughs while returning from St, Foye
and returned pistol theta for volleys of
Monte. aoae anjuries were haflletee onn
both sides.
The Hudson Bay railway are very en,
xions that the present Manitoba Govern•
remit should carry out the Norquay railway
policy andgaarantee their bonds to that ex-
tent of $4,300,000.
AMERICAN,
Hall to Harlem over the tops of houses, and
a double track line from here to Tarrytown.
The right of way for the road the entire dim•
tanoe ns to be purchased, the existing build.
ings, torn down and new ones suited to the
new condition of things --stores, warehouses,
fiats and factories,—aro to, be erected, the
nude walls. and reefs of which will be maaa$ive
masonry arches, strong enough to bear the
weight of the heaviest trains, Mr. Linsley
estimates the total cost of the undertaking
at $71,000,Q00,
m3EION.
l eplorer Rtrton thiake the white Pasha;
is
Emilia Bey.
Sir Moron Maokeezie is abortly to be
raised to the peerage.
The taking of the Bartle was celebrated
throughout Prance on Saaturetay,
Emperor William will visit the King of
Denmark on his raturn Trona Ruesfa,
Mon troops have been erdered . to Zola
land, and serious troubles are feared.
Ziew Zealand is decreasing her free list
and raising some of her present dut3ea..
Dr. Mackenzie's report, accompanied by
those of Dra. Krause, Leyden, and iIovell,
is expected soon.
It is stated that the new.Duebess of Marl-
borough is being received very* cordially in
London society.
Twenty four whites aid- 200 natives were
burned to deatb, in the .»beers mine, Kim-
berley, in the Cepa.
A YOU LIKE IT.
warxw IT in DAY.
If I could live without thethought of death,
Forgetful of time'swaste, the soul's decay,
'would not askfor other joy than breath
With light and sound of birds and the
sun's ray,
I could sit on untronblod,day by day,
Watching the grass grow and the wild
flowers range
From blue to yellow and from red to grey,
In natural sequence as tbeseasons change..
I could afford to wait but for the hurt
Of thie dull tick of time which chides my
earl
But now 1 dare not sit with loins engirt
And staff unliftaed, for death stands too
near.
I must, be up and doing, aye, each minute
Tye grave gives time for rest when we are
la it.
The alleged rapture between Emperor
William and his another is emphatiealiy eon*
tradieted from Berlin.
Peat -our lam just reootrkxxnended that all
doge not held by string on the atreeta oI
Retie be killed by the pollee.
Col. Sir Francis 13e Winters bellows. that
the White Pasha who hiss arrived at .Bahr-
el•tUazel im Renry bL Stanley.
Oardieel Manning was eighty years of
age on Sunday last, and looked as well and
ha as atronp as ten years ago,.
Emperor William lase agreed to the pro*
posed that his mother shell bear the titles at
eepre se dad Qom Fsedva:lcle.
Advices from India say the crop prospects
are improved, and that AS the drought has
eemsed fawiee is no longer feared.
The Monitan Government will shortly
take measures to compel theme of the BIM*
Sian language in the Baltic b'rovincea.
The Journal rfe $e. ?dere/fere says it is
aati.sfedwith the matinsphoney of Emperor'
William, as outlined in his mpeeoh to the
tlexmen reicbatag,
An undoubted ease of real Asiatic cholera
is reported at Pittsburg.
Eighty-nine Catholic priests of Chicago
migned the petition caking khat the salaone
bo closed on. Sunday.
The great iron lock -out in Pittsburg is
virtually at an end, and a general resump-
tion of the milts is expectod.
Mr. A. 3. Streator, the nominee of the
Union Labour party of the United States,
has accepted the nomination.
It is reported that the Canadian Pacffio
railway hue purchased the Duluth, South
Shore, and Atlantic railway.
The Committee of the whole of the. U. S.
House of Representatives has refused to
strike wool from tbe free list,
Several oaths of smallpox have been die.
covered in Buffalo, and grave fears aro en-
tertained that the disease will spread.
The Topeka Capitol eatimates that Kan-
sas ham saved not less than $12,000,000 since
her prohibitory law wont ,into effect.
John Zachar, the Racine faster, after ab-
staining from food for 53 days, hoe been in.
duced to eat, and will probably soon regain.
his strength.
The Southern train on the' Virginia Mid-
land railway went through a trestle near
Alexandria, Va. Five persons were killed
and twenty-five injured, some of them very
seriously.
George Matzinger, who was responsible
for the Haymarket riot' in Chicago, and who
was the confidential friend of the man that
threw the bomb, died a few days ago in an
insane asylum.
May is an unwholesome month in Atlanta,
Ga., on account of the alianthna trees. When
they are in full bloom the flowers act as poi.
son to adults or children having any kind of
membranous trouble. -
A fire broke ,out in Alpena, Mich., the
other evening, which destroyed two hun-
dred houses and left one thousand persons
homeless. Two women and two children
were burned to death.
The heirs of William Penn, in London,
have entered a claim for possession of one of
tTie public squares in Easton, Pa., on the
grounds that the terms of the originai•gift
were not complied with.:
Blondin, who oroased Niagara river below
the falls, on 'a tight rope, 27 years ago. has
reappeared at Staten Island, New -York,.
and performs all manner of evolutions on
the rope with his old-time agility.
The Chicago police made a raid on some
Anarchists who were engaged in a conspir-
acy to avenge the execution of their fellows
last year. A number of bombs were discov-
ered, and three arrests were made. •
Under tbe provisions of the United States
alien labour law, 60 Canadian labourerswho
were employed by the Grand Trunk railway
on the American side of the St. Clair river
are no longer allowed to continue work.
Whole cities in Central Mexico have been
inundated by recent floods caused by rains
along the path of the railroad. The loss of
life has been something terrible. Over 1,000
dead bodies have thus far been recovered.
Where is no telling what the damage to pro-
perty will foot up.
What appears at first planes to be one of
the wildest of schemes to meet the ever•in•
creasing demand for rapid transit in the City
of NOW York is that originated by Mr. D.
C. Linsley, a civil engineer of 'considerable
practical' experience. He proposes to con-
struct a four track railway from the City
The Italian Chamber of Ilsepsham has peas -
ed a► bill giving electoral rights to everyone
who feeble to read and write, aknd who mays
the minimum taxes.
It .is stated that theernel !frog of Uganda
im alwoat wild for ,fear that the Europeans
ere going to width him for the murder of
lilehop Ilanningten.
There were in Great Britain, in 1630, 611
deathe from poison, including cases of
chronic poisoning by lead, Of these, 827
were accidental, 176 *Welch!, and only 0
homicidal.
A report has been received in London
that an insurrection baa occurred in Port -
Au -Prince, and that the incur eats burned.
600 houses, including moat of the public
buildings,
L'Unirera says that the peralatent hos.
tllityy of the Italian Government will compel
the Pope to leave Rome, and that the quea.
tion of a now seat of Government is being
earneatly diaenasaed.
The late Emperor Frederick was desirous
of plying Alsaco.Lorrainevirtual Home Rule,
with Paint() Alexander of Battenberg as
Governor, so as to end the deadly feud be-
tween the. Gaul and the Teuton.
The German Progreseistpapera, which are
inclined to defend Dr. Mackenzie, point to
the fact that there were eight doctors who
attended the late Emperor who did not sign
the report oritioizine Sir Morrill.
Tbo largest artesian well in the world is in
Queensland, Australia, A stream of water
12 inches in diameter flows from the well at
the rate of 400 gallons per minute, having a
temperature of 120 degrees Fahrenheit.
The Paris correspondent of the London
Times eayaitis the common belief that Gen.
Boulanger and hie follower!, owing to the
daily decline of their prestige, dream of civil
war, which they will endeavour to provoke
by street demonstrations.
Dr. Bergmann, in his report on the death of
Emperor Frederick, is particularly severe
on Dr. Mackenzie. He considers him aweak
character, who, having make a great error
in diagnosing the Emperor's disease, prefer-
red sacrificing his patient to confessing his
mistake.
It is reported that a serione rapture has
occurred between. Lord Salisbury and Mr.
W. H. Smith, because the latter said in the
House of Commons that no attempt would
be made to pass the Premier's bill for re-
forming the House of Lords. It is expected
that Mr. Smith will resign.
Wilfred Blunt.
CAWS ANT? RNM."r-
Lfles to a eland dawn eame the crows ;
The field was soon nptorn ;
Where°or'twaa sown, in hills or rawa,
They ate the farmet'a corn.
Voraciously they tore them net,—
The seed and greening blade,
And while the work they went about
A deafening wise they Mede,
A mad, mad mann the farmer was,
A mad, mad man was htn r
"I dreaded when 1 heard the caws,
That; the efeot 1'd aco,"
,.(Boitoax Courier,
Some young rnsaiwhen they got the Mit-
ten, pine away, but moat of them spruce up
and catch another girl.
Domoerstiogworkman (elienting)-.-•Who's
y'r candidate .
Republican echo—'Hoosier candidate.
When the bloom is on the rye" it is
all aright. It is all wrong when the himm
of the rye fa on the end of a sant's nate
A young French oiyioer is said to have Iii•
vented a microphone which will record and
announce the Approach of a body of eoidiere
and give some idea as to their numbers.,
A New York manufacturer of ivory goods
says that billiard hells are now almost the
only article znkado of ivory. Bone, horn and
Of/11410K are need even fer the beet piano
keys.
Chinese Intolerance.
We regret to bee that the industrious
Chinese residents of this city have begun
to introduce distinctions among themselves
on religious grounds. In fact, it looks as
if they alreadyhad a•systemof religious per,
seoution in their social life. For example,
they are about to hold a big Chinese picnic
and excursion, and notice has been given of
the exclusion from the festivities of all
" Suaday school Chinamen," which is the
phrase that is need to describe Christianized
Chinamen. Now, in thus putting a social
ban, a pagan boycott, a brand of outlawry,
upon such of their countrymen living here
as favor Christianity, the Pagano are blun-
dering. The Pagans have, of course. the
right to exclude them on accoune of their
religion, or because they have renounced
the customs of their ancestors, but yet it
would be proper for the Pagans who enjoy
freedom here to exercise a large liberality in
the toleration of religious difference. -[New
York Sun.
City improvements in Sault Ste. Marie,
Mich., have progressed so fast that the
treasury is empty, and 'a special election
will be held on the 23rd instant to bond the
town for $50,000 to be spent in further.
needed improvements.
Reports from Victoria, B. C., say that
there is 'serious trouble among the Skeena
rives Indians. It is stated :that they ,mur-
dered Mr. Clifford, in charge of the Hudson
Bay station at Hazleton, and a special con-
stable. " (G" Battery has been sept to
Skeena from Victoria.
In the trial of the pokey Wood, Sir
Charles Bussell made the statement tinct cold, bleak weather ata resin; o d d I summer,
only two eoelsoya on the. English turf have
unblenniahed reputations, Torn Cannon :and
John °Ahern.
FRB ANA ABRIIT WOMEN.
Toe Rise AND FALL or Rnr BUSTLE.
"The rise and fall of the bustle is fax
more interesting to women of the present
day than any topic that can be discussed,"
said the head of the dressmaking department
of a large store in this city on Saturday, says
the Philadelphia ,Record. "My, how the
bustle did rise. It grew like a watermelon
under a hot summer sun. Indeed, it was
eginning to be a question as to
which le thebuatle,
And wIzich isrise Birk c
as General Knickerbocker used to sing in his
topical song in the ' Little Tycoon.' But
the birdcage ie doomed. It must go. Dally
'Verde= went; Gainsborough bats went, and
AO does everything of that sort, People are
continually panting for something new. The
bustle had its uses- It gave- thin girls an
air of seeming stoutneaa, and it used to make
the dresser, set welt It was a first-rate
affair to take the weight of heavy dresses off
a woman's hip. But when the girls began
to wear the buetlee atilf way up their backs
people began tp get alarmed. It made the
dear creatures appear like miniature camels,
And the way the (girls would shake them-
aelveaa,10h, my I ld by, they looked as thengh
they would fall opera, For years the bustle
has been growing smeller. The greatest pro-
pertion it ever reached was 'Mtge it topped
the bushel basket. Now it le a. very modest
affair, and looks like a small•sized rattrap.
By next fall it will be gone entirely..
.a hire. Cleveland has done one good thing
for the women of this country. "With awave
of the hand she has wiped the bustle off the
fashion plates, Indeed, Ole realm! ablesaing,
Thee it ie so odd that the President's wife
should take the matter in hand, Bet she
hal done so. Bustles are only good for teethe
to be wed by the atoll boys et baseball
matches now.
" What is to take the place of the beetle
I will .show you. Itis simple, effective and
cheap. A set of reeds are to be sewed let*
the beck of theakirt. They are of graduated
Sixes and makes the dreaa sot well. It im-
proves the hanging of the skirt, and its very
simple. Se nature m to have A chance
yam ; the bustle Ilea been Welshed,
BoSE PII.Lows AND dens,
A great many ladies, young and old, are
busy collecting rose leares at thin season.
Some of these are intended for the rose jar
which is such *popular fancy, and some go
toward making tragrent "rose pillows" en
which weary beads will lie in next whiter's
while thedelieate, daintyerfume tm exhaled
from the faded petals. Theme piliowa are
first made of ,tout linen and then an outer
cover of thin, soft silk le drawn over them
and perhaps ornamented with an embroider.
ed desngo, a favorite one being a verse etch-
ed in wash silk, aueh se "Rest deep and
slumber meet."
It theme a very simple thing to make a
roao jar, and yet very few persons know the
secret. To begin with, the rosea should be
gathered early in the morning of after sun.
down, Spread a sheet of clean white paper
in a warm dry place and scatter the leaves
over it to dry. Taro the leaves over every
day, and as they become dry put theca away
in an airtight lar or a bottle with a wide
mouth that can be tightly corked. A fruit
jar answers the purpose very nicely. These
dried leaves may be' put into mall bags of
silk or linen, These placed among table,
bedlfnen and clothing scent it very delicate-
ly. If the jar is well shaken and then left
open a room can be agreeably perfumed with
the odour of roses. Another way to prepare
a rose jar is to allow the roses to dry but a
few hours, then to cover tbe bottom of the
jar with loaves, and to sprinkle a layer of
malt over thorn, then adding roses and salt
until the jar is full. Over this pure cider
vinegar is well sprinkled, and the jar ie
tightly sealed and is left for several weeks.
When opened its fragrrauce.will be very
sweet and penetrating.. Other flowers, such
as aweet scented geranium, lemon, verbena,
and even white clover, which have a sweat,
dainty odour, can be preserved with Balt,
and will be found almost as agreeable as the
pot pourri of roses.
TUE S' tKESI IN GIRDLE.
The other day I saw around the waist of
a lady riding on the elevated oars a snake-
skin girdle, the second 'have ever seen, It
was made of the akin of a black snake,
carefully prepared, varnished and mounted
with silver fastenings, and was auoique and
beautiful affair. Few ladies would have the
courage, I suppose,to wear such a girdle,
and yet, if not fashionable, it bas the merit
of rarity and a beauty of its own. The
black snake is such a common visitor to
American woods that it may yet become
fashionable. Some years ago I remember to
have climbed the Ramapo mountains with
young Dr. Prince in search of a blacksnake
of large size. We soon found one, cut off
his head, turned back the skin a little way;
then I rubbed my hands in the dirt, held
his snakeship's body, and pulled in one
direction while prince pulled in the other.
The pink flesh parted easily, but the heart
beat as lively as ever after the job was done,
though the head was off. I pretended that
I did not mind it, but I would rather have
faced a battery ; and afterwards, when 1
saw the beautiful girdle on a lady's waist, I
would have been glad had she known, with.
out my telling her, how much she owed me.
As the summer season in the country is just
opening, and the fair sex are on the alert
for novelties in fashion,. I throw out this
hint for what it is worth, but I don't want
to be asked to pull any more snakes oat of
their skins.
"I sen on my way home, doctor," said a
eitinan, who was atter aouno free advice,
"and I'm tired and worm out. What shalt
1 takeb" "Tante a cab," replied the Wel*
ligeet physlcimn.
Talk of easy divorce in the United States
After whet happened in prankfort•on•the.
Main lath weak,where amarried woman was
pronouneod the party a"e fault and legally
divorced booauss--sho did not know haw to
cook.
Mon they talked About the nine in
Athena it was the nine Infuses; today, all
over this country, the nine cetera to baso -
bail, excepting through this Middle and
Western States, where itis understood to
mean gainlne.
For the convenience of housekeepers a
sad or flatiron has been invented which
makes use of the principle of expend= of
metals by heat •ta ring.a small ball when the
iron le hot enough to iron °lattice with. A
pot that well sound a gong when about to
ball over may be expected next.
The Russian law forbids jokes on "re.
legion, politics, officials, the law, your
neighbor, the Czar's highways and the
weather, which is made for all." Wo al.
ways eupposed that the reason there were
no funny men In Ruaaian journaliam was
because the '"j" box couldn't stand the
racket, but we see our mistake now.
There is no event in life which does not
carry its own lesson; and that lesson ought
to be recognized by us as the beat that we
can learn at that particular moment.
Failure in any enterprise is just as ranch
a fact as asucceas in that same enterprise
would have been. But it rests with each
person to make every foot in his experiences
a factor in his progress.
An ancient canoe has been found in the
Tunhovd Fjord, in V aldres, in south Central
Norway. It has been hollowed out by
means of red hot strew, and.is four and .a
half metres long and eighty centimetres
broad. It is in fair condition. The find
is of interest, as records say no other primi-
tive vessel of the kind has been found inland
in Norway. The boat will be sent to the
museum at Christiana.
A curious society was formed in. London
some two years ago, whose aim was to abol-
ish the custom of ringing church bells before
religious services on Sunday. The other
day Parliament knocked the society out of
existence, for the church people of all de-
nominations produced such a pressure on
the House of Commons that they passes an
act giving .the bolls full awing. In the
course of the controversy the historical fact
seems to have been established that the use
of bells in churches for the purpose of call-
ing worshippers together was first intro-
duced over fourteen hundred years ago.
Empress Eugenie. early in her reign,
wrote of the late Emperor Frederick
"The prince is tall and handsome, almost
a head taller thanthe Emperor ,; he is slight
and fair, with a;straw.00lored moustache, a
German, as Tacitua might describe him, of
chivalrous courtesy,_ with something of the
Hamlet about him. . . His companion, a
Gen Moltke, (or some such name), is a taci-
turngentleman, but by no means a dreamer,
and, oeing perpetually on the lookout, takes
one by surprise with his pointed remarks.
They are an imposing raoe, these Germans.
Louis calls them the race of the future.
Here's a true story, says The Pittsburgh
Dispatch, from the colored society. An
old auntie of a complexion rivaling the night
for blackness came to do the weekly wash
at the house of a friend of mine not long ago.
The lady of the house asked how her health
was, and Susie; the ebony mistress of the
laundry,.replied•:—"I'se pretty well, t'ank
do Lewd ; I'sn got a lil misery in^de lef'
knee,' but •
taint of no 'count. De ole man,
mise, am pow'ful bed.' "He hab a pain in de
lef' side, a pow'ful big pain, are de doobah
he do say dat it ud be very dangerous if't
ud ha' been in de right side, for den his
heart ud ha' been 'leafed—but t'ank de
Lewd hit's in de def'."
Novas.
The dresses of engaged young ladies wear
cut soonest at the waist. Yes, and the
clothes of married old men wear out quickest
at the pockets.
" Bridget," said the mistress to the new
hired girl, " you can go now and put the
mackerel in soak." "Sure, ma'am, air ye
rejuced to that ?" asked Bridget_aympathet-
icaily.
Brooklyn street car conductor (topassen-
ger)— You will have to pay full fare for the
dog, madam." Madam (indignantly)—"Non.
sonse, the dear little fellow is not two years
old get."
Sb.:Louis man (witnessing "Julius Oresar")
—" Do you notice, my dear, with what state.
ly grace Brutus moves about ?" Wife—
Yes, and he's in his night-gown, too. It's
wonderful 1" •
Minister (dining with: the family)—So your
mamma doesn't want you to eat more than
one piece of pie, Bobby ? Bobby—No, sir;
except when we are visiting. Then I can
have all I want..
Old lady (to street ,gamin) -Boy, you. areas
dirty little fellow. Why don't yon rem
home and ask your mother to moat'
face and hands ? Gamin—Me madder ain't
got time, mum, today. It's wash day: „
Young wile --•,4 My dear, why do they gall
the: places where where you get help intelligence
offices 2" Young husband—" I suppose on
the doctrine of contrarietiee—.the locus a non-
Zucendo. principle—bemuse they are depots
for stupidity."
Mietreas (to cook) Your name, Mary,
and my daughter's being the same makes
matters somewhat confusing. Now, how do
you like,aay, the name of Bridget 1 Coon—
Shure, mum, an' it's not meant that's parti-
cular. O:m within to axil the young 'eddy
any thin' yez 'pike,
The mistress was roprovingtheeerventfor
"nicking" the diaahes. "Tinere's a eio$
Mit of that bine preserve dish," she said.
" It was thele whin Teem." apologized the
girl. " No, this la a new nick," said the
m""stress, "'Deed, this, ma'm, if you'll look.
yell "see that it's the same meld Nick that's
in it.
Hnebband (out of humor) -44 ►Well, I never
saw a tootbx•hrasb wear out like this one-
only had it a week, and here the bristlest
aro all game end it tasteslike the digkens r
I with von would take better ease .of ney
things.." Youog and inexperienced; wife
(posting).-.' I do, and I'm sums I cleaned it
thoroughly after polialting the silver with
it. I did any best, and yon shouldn't cern-
It hes been discovered that the pretty
colored imitation India mosline contain a"
great deal of arscniO and that many kindsof
cretonne are (Neatly .guilty. Several bad
cases of poisoning were reported in L*sndan,
and an analyses was made, the reaait, beim
what 14r. Joshua Pollslove would call a
44 Doty conaiderable kind of a seaM" 14
seems that the blues and greens ere camper-
atively innocent tide time ; it is the lnlacke,,,
browns and seariete that make itelechief.
WIT AND WISDOM.
Pay at you go and don'tgo t'll yen pay,
"I sin going to juin the"Band of !lope,""
said tine jeweler, as lee was soldering an ea-
gagement ring.
The caterpillar is a beautiful typo of Jena
i al ty, 'maces Inoo over has the slightest
trouble In malting both ends meet,
A rat ie Ciuclnanati base bean trained to
eatele files, Tints thew* whet nary be donne
by a people having p%mty of leisure.
The queerest tblag abouttivemen's bona
nets, to nay mind," sand "i ?iiikine, " that
the smaller the bonnet tine bigger the bill:"
Head 'em back 1 The young cams of
raspberries and bleekberries.ere apt TAt carry
theaaaselvea pretty high. Dudes do net work.
Cut them down,
Boltou , Young denies is generates s with Ilea
cigars, ian't he ? 1k olton—k es (puffie but
I think he would {puff; be kinder to Ids
friends if be streaked ebem himself,
"" Poor (ialdeon 1 I am afraid the poor fel.
law le losing his mind." " By dove 1 You
don't say. so I" " Why, my dear boy, it is
nearly throe o'clock and I just saw lite with
hie one o'clock mit on I"
Happy Bride—" Isn't that lovely ! So
you have the house all ready 1" Young
iineband--" We can begin housekeeping ay
once, By the way. my angel, do yeti know
how to cook?" ilride--`. No, but mother
does,"
A Portland (Mt.) doctor earries a cane in
which are contained some smell surgical
instruments and thread. It is very con
ventent. Re can break a man's head with
the cane and then sow it up while be
'waits.
A yonug man from college, calling on au
lady, and being asked by the servant what
name she should give her mistreat, replied,
" Aanious" (the Latin for friend). Tne girl
hesitated for a moment, and then asked,
„What kind of a cuss, en' ?'
A curious coincidence in the matter of
Homos is reported from Washington. A-
man named Messenger has just been ap-
pointed a gunner in the nary, while a man
named Gunner has just been made a mes-
senger in the naval department.
Minister (mildly)—I've bean wanting to
see you, Mr. Hurd, in regard to the quality
of milk with which you are serving me.
Milkman (uneasily)— lea, sir. Minister
(very mildly)—I only wanted to say, Mr.
Kurd, that I ase the milk for dietary pur-
poses exclusively and no; for christening.
There are ills besettu g us which it is
impossible to avoid, but many of ua—all of
usperhaps—suffer moat from those we
bring upon ourselves. And yet we rarely
confess our share in producing them ; we
excuse ourselvesby pions reflections upon
the " mysterious dispensation of, Provi-
dence."
Gentleman -What's the matter, Uncle
Restos, you look ick ? Uncle Raatus Yes
sah, I ate er whole watermelyun last nigh
jess'fore I went ter bed, an' 1 ain't feel-
in' bery well dis mawnin. Gentleman --
Are you going to see a doctor ? Uncle
Rastus—No, sah; l'se gwine for anudder
melynn.
Summer boarder—" What's that yellow
stuff you are feeding the chickens ?" Farm-
er—" That's corn, mister." "What is this
in this bin ?" " That's wheat." f" Humph!
What are these other things ?" "Rye, oats,
barley—say, mister, what's your business
when at home in Chicago ?" " I am a grain
speculator."
Spelling His Name.
Here is a story that makes one think of
the old conundrum, " How do you pro-
nounce b, a, o—k, a,c—h, a ?"
The late Mr. Ottiwell Wood was once
summoned as ,a witness in oourt. When he
was called and sworn, the judge, not catch-
ing his name, asked him to spell it.
" 0, double t, i double u, e double 1, dou-
ble u, double o, d," said Mr. Wood.
Mr. Justice Dusenbury, an excellent
judge, but not •nimble•witted, after one or
two futile struggles, laid down his pen in
despair, saying : "Most extraordinary name
I ever heard. May I trouble you to write
it for me, Mr.-er, Mr. Witness ?"
Chinamen continua to smuggle'themgeives
from British Columbia into Washington
Territory;