HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Advocate, 1888-1-12, Page 7TRE LADIES' COLUMN,.
9. Fat woman's Complaint.
THE WONDERFULKOLA NUT.
It is Said to be Capable of Performing a
Great Nana,Remarkable Things.
a
"" There is fortune for an hod who Planters in tropical climes are recom-
ur 1'Yaid mended to cultivate the kola tree, the nut
will start a Fat Woman's Jo a , ' of which seems to possess some marvellous
a woman who weighed more than 200 qualities. If the prophecies, regarding the
Bounds, "or if you want to be more beneficent services 0 certain preparations
euphemistic and euphonious, a fashion of it are realized ail unspeakable boon will
magazine, and ehristen it A la Jolie Em- be conferred on millions of thehuman race.
bonpointe.' In this there shouldn't be For many years it has been extensively
a fashion or a fashion plate that did not need as an excellent beverage and sacred
pertain to a woman weighing' at least 320 symbol in the interior of Africa, but now
pounds—and upward, as they say In the its properties have every reason to be far
cheap stores. At present you cant And a more entensivelyutilized. There is no
fashion platethat does not represent as doubt from what is already known that it
slender, long -waisted woman. For t has the extraordinary property of counter -
sylph everything is designed ---gowns, acting the in#luence of alcohol, of giving a
wraps, bonnets. It is impossible to find stimulant in wasting diseases, of acting as
anything intended for large women. AP a powerful tonic in oases of deep:seated
parently nobody gives us any consideration,inluriee onthe digestive organs, of purify.
and we clothe ourselves, as it were, by ` ing foul water, of overcoming the sense of
faith. It is absurd, continued the lady, fatigue and of exciting; to arduous work
Q4 for the fact is well-established that < with the least injury to ;,the frame. It
American women have lost the reproach of 1 appears that kola nuts were originally
scrawniness. Go where you will, at least found in the western territories of Africa,
and that soldiers stationed along the coast
were the first white men who became
aware of their peculiar property. They
found, for instance, that the chewing of
these nuts prevented a drunken headache.
Not only so, but some who have used the
not paste as a "pick-me-up" assert that,
while removing the nausea, it gives them
quite a "skinnier" at the smell of whiskey
and removes the irritating desire for a
morning" to keep the stomach hearty.
If the paste be mixed with cocoa paste,
which it resembles closely, it produces a
mach finer and more nutritive chocolate.
1t has bean ahewn',yrepeated experiments
that the nerve energy produced by par-
taking of the ohoeolate made with kola
panto is ten Boise greater than
that pro-
duced by an equal quantity of ordinary
cocoa chocolate. So nutritious is this kola
that with a single cup of it a laborer
can undergo a day's workwithout any sense
of weariness. Though it may not directly
feed the ruecular system, it hail the
property of preventing the rapid waste of
the tisanes. So much hese the maim-fare
toms of chocolate, both in this country
and abroad, become alive to the excellent
properties of the new paste that they aro
waking arrangements to procure it for
mixing purposes as soon as its price be-
comes reasonable. The British Govern -
meat, too, has gone the length of making'.
experiments urea the paste in a pure state,'
ea as to ascertain the saving which would'
be made iu the transit of provisions iutime
of war by giving this beverage to the army.
It is of great service for purifying the foul
water which is et)prevalent in hotcliwates;
this will be thepreventiveof manydieeases,
especially to Europeans. It has also been
found very useful in clarifying beer and
spirits, active, much like the white of an
egg or isinglass.—Scotsmen.
among the leisure classes, and you will find
the large proportion of women broad
shouldered, well-developed and a generous
overflow of figure. And we are worth con-
sidering. There is a fortune in avoirdupois
for whoever is far enough sighted to per-
ceive it. Send out the prospectus ' A la
Jolie Embonpointe' or the ' Fat Woman's
Journal and see how quickly we will rally
to its snpport from every parr of the land."
—New York Sn:i,
coati of a "Coining out" Dress.
Next to the bridal dress of a young girl,
ber "coming out" costume is the crucial
test of trill and income. Mies Morris'
" sweet simplicity of scatulae was an
exentple. The foundation was a Io -w•
necked, no eleev'ed.elip et what one would.
call rase white. 1f yellow white be ivory,
or cream, then pinkish white is rose white.
The material was corded salt, heavy and
lustrons. ,bout the walking -length skirt
was a bo t.piaited row ot Valenciennes four
iaahea deep at $w a yard. In each plait of
the Lace hung pendant an artificial half.
blown blush ruse. Up one sideltke a panel'
went row after row of lace and bade.
Draped over the silk was a =not ethereal
silk gauze, with satin etripea in pure white.
Opposite the panel, on the right side, was
a big pocket arrangement made of satin
folds interlaced line basket work,!
and springing out of the top was,
a splendid cluster of blush roses, half -
blown and buds. The girlish chest of the
debutant admitted of the upper half the
corsage being made of everlappiug rows et
Valenalennes and intermingling buds, and
a hip•corset at satin, laced behind, showing
tho slender waiet. There were certainly
fifty yards of lace on the dress, and co)
roses. The material that formed the over-
dress was 5100 for five yards, the slip cost
)50, the roses and the waking were $100,
and so the simple rosebud dress of a miss
in her teens. without any jewellery or die -
play, cost 5500.---Froai Clara Belle's Nem
York Letter,.
Fa bloc :eotca.
Pinked edges aro becoming very popular
on tailor gowns of heavy cloth.
AN ODD MISTAKE,
The titan Who Attended His Own Funeral
—A Faet.
A New Yorker writes to the Evening.
Post : One day, while I was in the country,
I said to myself, as I dropped the newspa.
per : " Ah ! my old friend Peter has gone
at last." For I observed in the obituary
notices the following_ e Died at Milton,
N.J., on the 5111 inst., in the 50th year of
his age, Peter Umfree, late of the city of
New York. His funeral will take place on
the Gth inst., at 10 o'clock a.m., at the
Presbyterian church on Eleventh street,
New York."
As the name of the deceased was an un-
usual one, and as his age and, the church
he attended were as above stated, and as 1
knew also that my friend was spending the.
summer and fall in that part of New Jer-
sey, I was satisfied that the Peter Unfree
above-named as having departed this life
was my old acquaintance, and tic . I could
not attend his funeral I determined to pay
a visit to his widow and family as soon as I
possibly could.' Accordingly,onthe7th.lwent
to his place of business in tbis city,ex-
pecting to find it closed, but to my aston-
ishment and mneter
was busilyit was engagedopen in lt. "y Whyfrie;'d saPid I,
"Mr. unfree, I thought you were dead."
"Well," said he, "1 almost thought so my-
self.
yself. You see, however, I am not. It hap-
pened to me that I attended my esu
funeral services ; for, noticing the adver-
tisement, I thought I would step over to
the church, and when I walked up the
middle aisle, the ceremonies being nearly
over, uiy appearance seemed to frighten
everybody. I tools a seat i.e a pew where
there wan a young lady ot my acquaintance,
who tried toget away as far as she could
from me, and I said: ' Mary, don't you
know me ?' ' Yes; said she, "but I thought
you were in that coffin and that sou neat
be a ghost.' However, she because satisfied
of ray vitality, but looked at me with WW1 -
dozing eyes,"
As my friend Peter was generally known
in this oity and the neighboring plaees.iiuite
a number of his acquaintances attended
the obsequies, and three of time trona
Brooklyn went to the church, and, standing
in the vestibulo,lseend the clergyman speak
of the mother of the deceased, and one of
theta paid: "There must be some mi,;.
take, as our friend lost his mother years
ago; bowever, wo will go in." As ie usual,
on sueh occasions, the congregation were
informed that they could view the corpse,
and ou doing so onb lady said to another.
"" Why, that is not the face of our departed
friend," to which was replied: "Oh. you
know, death makes a great change in the
looks of a person."
The next day appeared in the religious
paper of the denomination to which Mr.
G'mfree was attached a long and well de-
servedeulogy of him and his useful career, l dig tng potatoca,if you wg easeugln °Euless.
but our Peter is still among the living, and —Thensun2ton Nem.
will be happy to eel any one who wants
articles in Inas " line."
The nxistako occurred from the fact that
a man of them
sa o mule deed, and his
friends, desiring to bury him in the city,
asked the privilege of the trustees of said
church to, have the services performed in
it. This was granted, but it led to the
wonderful result of a man attending his
own funeral.
Thu Canadian Northwest.
A partial settlement of Ryan di iianey's
claims, ill connection with the Red River
Valid Road has been effected Haney
recei tug a cheque from the Government
for St39,220 and immediately purchasing
Gloves with evening gowns are not worn therewith Provincial bonds to the amount
much above the elbow, and they are not as of S89,200.
heavily wrinkled, but Nulled up plain and Although the ane-man.one-vote principle
smooth if the arm to plump enough to wee passed last session it is claimed that it
admit of it, cannot come into effect till uew voters' lists
Very many of the newest tailor gowns are prepared. The Government, fearing
show two colors of the mime cloth, the the outside votee would defeat their eandi-
darker. strange to say, formic;; the accts- dines in Aasiniboia and St. Francois
sories—collar, cuffs and so on. and the Xavier, are preparing new lists for those
brighter the body of the gown. constituencies.
Tho da,icin;, gown grows shorter, rather Hou„lt .h Campbell have been appointed
than longer, as the season advances, and city solmiters to succeed Solicitor 1). Glans.
there is more and mare a tendency tomake '1'1ie Salo of school lands throughout the
itit full and undraped in the skirt, low or Province, to commence .January 10th, is
full
ed in the neck and sleeveless. De- already being advertised. Sales take place
buten es, however, and brides wear their at Manitou, Winnipeg and 1dosa.
gowns high, or half -high in the neck, with ,lire. hleBean, of Winnipeg, fs one of
half or three.quarter length alcoves, and the nearest heirs to the immense Weber
debutantes, like brides, wear white, cream
eatute,'which comprises sixty acres in the
and ivory.tinted rides e. heart of New York city, and which has
been in litigation for the past fourteen
There is an effort being made to return ears,
to satin for evening wear. When it is rich years. sectionman namedNelson was stabbed
nothing is so handsome, but its vulgarize- in three places lastnight at Cassia's Station
tion a year or two since by cheap qualities by a Hungarian.
made it fall into disfavor. A party to go to the Yukon next spring
White and gold is the popular combing- is being organized at Edmonton, Tho
tion for evening wear. Waite tulles have idea is to go down the Athabasca and
their crisp voluminousness held in place by , Mackenzie and up either the Liard or the
d Peel. River to reach the waters of the
Yukon.
It was 40 below zero this morning.
The Bishop of Rupert's Land has
white cashmere areriohly edged above their appointed Bev. O. Fortin, rector of Holy
hemmed borders with deep gold thread Trinity Church, to the Archdeaconry of
embroideries in arabesque designs. One Winnie ,
handsome opera cloak is of a heavy white It isrumoredthat the new Government
cloth brocaded with gold leaves. The bot- of Manitoba will ask the Legislature for
der is of white curled Persian lamb, and it power to expropriate Dominion lands.
thick gold braid that comes ma a up in
patterns. White satins and silks are om-
lsroidered in gold upon the material and,
some charming London gowns of silky
is lined with yellow silk. One of the most
charming of thesewhite and gold gowns
has a foundation slip of golden yellow
faille Francaise, and over it isdrapedmany
yards of white Indian tissue.
There is an ever-growing tendency to
have everything to match in evening
dresses. Gloves are shown in every possi-
ble tint, and of . late in all the shoe shop
windows have appeared satin shoes of
varied colors. Women of a pronounced
type have for a long time had a leaning
toward scarlet satin shoes, but now they
are quite universally worn with the poppy
red tulle dresses that are so frequently
seen this season, Beside these are Louis
K.V. slippers in pale bine, pink, bronze,
copper, green and yellow satin, and silk
stockings come to match them in every
shade. The feather or gauze fan repeats
the colors of the dress, shoes and gloves.
New and lustrous . French failles are
imported, striped or plaided, with fancy
velours or plain velvet. These materials
come in exquisite eveni. 3 ,shades of Nile
green, cameo, pale golden, terra cotta,
apricot, baby bine and the rosy lilac that
does not grow gray and dull by candle-
light. There are others in deep, rich tones
for dinner and carriage gowns in golden
bronze, fawn color, shot with russet
brown ; olive, venetian green, " winter-
sky" and heliotrope. Another novelty is
an India silk broohe, with pompadour
designs in pale shaded velvet upon its rich
surface, the patterns being borrowed from
ancient Gobelin tapestries and from
Oriental designs.
A young man named Swank, of Beaver
Falls, Pa., a student at Geneva College,
ran at full speed against a clothes -line
while ohasinga goat out of a yard. The line
caught him just under the nose, tearing out
his upper teeth and splitting the mouth
from ear to ear.
Manitoba grain men propose sending a
strong deputation to Toronto to uphold
the new grain standard in the event of a
meeting of the Dominion Grain Board
being held before the new standard comes
into force.
The municipalities and towns along the
line of the Manitoba & Northwestern Rail-
way have appointed a number of resi
dents to visit points in Ontario with the
view of assisting immigration to Manitoba.
Senator Sohnitz has been: appointed to
succeed Mr. Aikins as Lieutenant -Governor
of Manitoba, on the expiration of the latter's
term next May, and Mr. Royal, M. P. for
Provenoher, will succeed Mr. Dewdney as
Lieutenant -Governor of the Northwest
Territories.
Mr. Richard Hardisty, Hudson's Bay
factor at Edmonton, will be appointed to
one of the two Northwest Senatorships.
Beginning the New Year.
Wife—'• Here I've been sitting up till
daylight for you, you wretch 1 Haven't
slept a wink all night."
Husband (who has been seeing the old
year out and the new wine in)—"Norri
neither, my dear. Leah go bed."
ADVICE TO TENDERFEET.
Some Points for Young Men Going Westin
Get Web.
If we are to believe the highly colored
reports sent out from Prescott, Arizona, :a
gold mine "richer by far than anything
ever discovered in the world" has just
been developea ten miles from that point..
We are told that the pure gold clings to the
rooks in scales and can be taken off by
the handful, and that two men in less
than au hour secured $800. And further,
the report says that theore averages 0,000
per ton: Before any young men of Wil-
mington pack their satchels and prepare to
hasten to the Hassayampa River gold
fields we would suggest that they await
further developutents and fuller particu-
lars of the new Eldorado to which people
are said to be flocking in great numbers.
There are always two sides to the wonder -
fel stories of gold and diamond fields thee
come from the far, far west. There are
such things as salted mines slid gold
mining companies that sell thousands of
stack not worth the paper on which their
lying words are printed. Of course it is a
great temptation for an ambitious )(inner
man to start out from home with a large
gripeack containing his old clothes,
with the expectation of throwing
away the old clothes in a few
weeks and returning with the gripsack
so heavily laden with gold nuggets that an
express car has to be chartered. Such
dreams of gold have flitted through the
bead el every' ;;oung man, and some, old
ones, too, and will as long as time is. But
how many young hien of your acquaint-
ance have started west to make a fortune
in a few months or years lase succeeded
except by hard work at some legitimate
businesa? How many men do you suppose
come from the gold mines laden down
with the precious stuff? Not many. There
are exceptions to the rule, but the chances
of becoming a rnillioneiro by rushing into
every new gold field that is opened are
just about as good as is the chance of
drawing the capital price in a lottery. If
you want to hasten to the anew: geld fields
of the llassayawpa River, young men.
heed our advice. Take with you half a
dozen pairs of good, stout comfortable
walking epees in addition to your regula r
equipment. When you reach ti e nearest
settlement to the mines leave your extra
shoes in the hands of some reliable person
to he held until called for. Then, wit( u
you start to walk back home to the east
and the firesides of your parents you wilt
be prepared for the journey. Lite Sher•
nsan s troapson tbeirway through Georgia,
yew will have to depend upon the country;
along your route for supplies. Walking
is very good exercise for the young. When
you make up your mind to dig for gold,
don't. Thera is just as much money in
feet GUf e?it CAYTURES.
Clews That TOW* Brought :Criminals to
It is a curious fact that those who .have
committed crimes are vefy frequently ar-
rested with the evidence upon them, writes
a London correspondent. Lefrey, who
killed Air. Gold on the Brighten railway
some years ago, was discovered with the
old gentleman's watch in his boot. Often,
too, is it some article of personal apparel
which brings about a conviction.
Frain Muller, Lefroy's predecessor, who
killed Mr. Briggs on the North London
Railway, wore a straw hat with a lining
haviug a broad blue strip edged with black.
and white. This he left in a railway car-
riage, and many of our readers will remem-
ber how, little by little, the structure of
evidence, of which this straw hat was the
foundation, was built up.
Iu is recent burglary in Dublin the thief
was arrested on suspicion founded on one
or two very small links. Ile had exitered a
library in which on a table was a email
piece of wedding cake which happened to
be wrapped in such a manner that it might
seasonably have been suspected to be a
packet of coin. When the room
was opened the following morning
the cake Wes found scattered ou
the carpet as though thrown down in rage.
It was observed, too, that a chair lead seen
used for assistance he reoehiog a despatch
box from. to not very tail article of furni-
ture. The amort detective wino had the
case ill hand put two mnd two tegetlmer sad
came to the ccnclneion—tirst, that the
burglar was not a young man or be
probably would have eaten the elite. and.
eecond, that he was of email stature tied
had limn obliged to riionnt the chair in
order to get at the box. Acting upon dies)
hints, the detective baldly ac:sineli ea well.
lumen character," who had been observed
watching the bougie, and eventually tracts
alba titolen property were discovered in
tate burglar's posresaiou and he was eon
tenced to five years' penal servitude. As
the detective lied eurtnieed, he seas a very
short mail indeed,
nether snore than sixty years ago the
Red Barn mystery drat aroused public
attention. There was something so eatra-
ordinary in this strange story. and in the
fact that the secret vale unraveled by
dreams, that for years it was afavoritefire-
side chapter of horrors among the poorer
classes. A certain William Corder was
eegaed to a young woman of hie own
county, Suffolk, Aug they ogreed to get
married secretly alt the !8th of May, les%
The girl started forth diegui ed se a retie.
the arrangements being tint ebe ebeuld
rename her ordinary eottutne at a place cu
Corder's faxiri known as the lied Barrs,
Thence they were to prorced to 1Fstvieh.
where ti ey were to be married.
Some time afterward Corder wrote treat
the isle of Wight, salving that he and bee
wife were living very happilyo lint the
girl's mother, not beering personally fume
her daugliter ater w aletruird, and in March,
11,28, dreamed on three successive nights
that her daughter had been murdered and
buried in the Red. Barn. So convinced
was she ofthe truth of the augury that elan
persuaded her beebread to apply for per-
mission to examine the spot. He did eo,
and on digging a few feet found the re.
mains of his daughter enveloped in a deck.
(•'order was traced to Brantford, where he
was found married to the proprietress of a
ladirs' school. The dreams of the girlie
mother can scarcely be called a clew, in
the accepted r:enne of the word, but that
they were instrumental in bringing; about
Corder's arrest is beyond a doubt.
Pinned ills Faith to this Directory.
Intoxicated Guest—Wai-waiter—look
in the directory and see where (hie) I live.
Waiter—But your name, sir?
Guest—You must find that (hio) in the
directory, too.
The, Ffrect on St. Nicholas of "Bighe
Education."
American youth (aged 6) -Now if the
effect of eighty bolts of electricity is equal
in applied force to ----
Santa
o=Santa' Clans—Holy Grail! is this the
youngster- that I've brought a yellow
monkey on a red stick for?
The Society Girl.
Ile was an anomisiy amongi his kind -'a
modest reporter. He had dropped into the
Elite Club ball -room, to write a ton -lice
notice of the affair.
Suddenly ho found himself confronted
by it bejewelled and bedecked lady, who
said sweetly:
"Ab, I know you ; you're one of those
horrid reporters, aren't you?"
1'tn a reporter, madam."
"I know it. And you've come to write
all sorts of horrid things about us poor
ladies, who can't help ourselves!'
"Indeed, madam, I---"
" Oh, yes, you will! I just think you re-
porters aro too horrid for anything!"
" I am not---"
"You go and put all sorts of things in
the papers about us. It's just dreadful! I
get real cross about it 1"
" I assure you, madam, that--"
" Oh, well, I suppose it is yctr business
to be so horribly awful! I suppose now
you have come to write up all tlo coatumes
in your horrid way, and you'll Lave all our
names in the paper, too!"
"No, madam, I------"
" Oh, I know you will ! You always say
yon won't, and then you do ! You're just
so dreadful! I do think it's to provoking
in you! We poor ladies can't do a thing
that you don't put it in the paper !"
" I intend writing but a brief notice of
this ball."
"Oh, well, I suppose you'll put in some
names ; so here is my card, ea that the
name won't be spelled wrong, as it was in
your account of Mrs. De White's party.
And there's a good ` description of my "cos-
tume on the back of the card. Don't for-
get to write ' diamond ornaments.' I
think I'm real good to take so much trou-
ble for yon when yon are so perfectly hor-
rid as to go and put it all in the papers.
Oh, you wicked, naughty, horrid man! It
makes me cross to look at you. Good-bye!
Be sure you get my name right this time.
You'll be more horrid than ever if you
don't."—Puck.
A Child's Logic.
A little girl was teasing her mother for
more indulgence, and was put off with
" Wait till to -morrow."
The following day she renewed her teas-
ing, and was reminded that she had said
the same thing yesterday.
" But, mamma," said the ohild, earnest-
ly, " this isn't yesterday ; it's to -morrow."
This reasoning was successful. Detroit
.bee Press.
Worting Him Nicely.
Wife (at breakfast)—You came in very
late last night, John."
Husband (who plays poker)—Yes, I was-
er-er at the office.
Wife (anxiously)—Really, John, I'm
afraid to have you work so hard. You
are over -taxing your strength. Can
you let me have twenty dollars this
morning ?
Husband—Certainly, my dear.
Re Didn't Know.,
" Say, Bigsby, do you know how to get
rid of a bore ?"
No. I regret to say that 7 don't. If I
old radios Time,
Anew car! The old, storyover again.
yeari a ase.
What a weird wonderful
la
SY and wo ortut en s
ch ntcr is
Time. Each of his years; yea, of his hours,
though but a mote on the track et eterui-
ties, clasps our opportunities, and it may
be our doom, and yet it springs forth as
fair and welcome as though never an hour
ora year had recorded a human wrong, or
crime, or sorrow, or despair.
Weird and svonderful, and so priceless
that not all tho wealth, and eloquence, and
power of the human race eau bring back a
moment gone ---nay, not though the lost
opportunity buried with it were fraught
with the salvation of the world.
Time 1 evanescent as o shadow, yet ever.
lasting ; briefer than a dream, yet eternal
as the emu. A new year -.--what a mingled
record eaoh has borne, or shall bear,
between the first of Adam and the last of
the last maul What conquea to and defeats
--what progressions and decadences—what
sailings and jubilees!
Now an age of light and now an age of
darkneae—.wars, persecutions, pestilenees
and famines—tribes and nations, kingdoms
and republios—all the griefs and gladness,
all the misfortunes and propensities, all
the crimes and heroism of our race, Ore
written on the brows of the dead six thous-
and years that lie out there in the damp
and mould.
And thither must this now year quickly
hie to the oblivion of its thousands of pre-
decessors. God grant that it may be
remembered by its virtues 1 God forbid
that it should be remembered for its crimes
and desolations 1 But whatever be the
fate that awaits it in our " heart of
hearts " we wish it may be a peaceful,
prosperous and happy year to all mankind.
Fresh News Notes.
Mr. Joseph Chamberlain arrived in To-
ronto from Ottawa last night, and is the
guest of Sir David Meoplierson at Chestnut
Park.
Lord Lansdowne, while skating near
Rideau Hall the other day, fell, inflicting
painful injuries to his head. One eye was
also unfortunately blackened.
A number of the employees in the To-
ronto Custom House have been granted
increases of salaries, and two have retired
on account of ill -health, receiving the usual
gratuities.
The Government has commissioned Mr.
Simeon Jones, ex-M.P., of St. John, N. B.,
to visit South America and the West Indies
with a view to working up closer trade rela-
tions with Canada.
The dispute between the Canadian Paci-
fic and Grand Trunk Railways over the
former's eastern entrance to Toronto has
been decided by the Railway Committee of
the Privy Council in favor of the Canadian
Pacific. .
The fifteenth annual meeting of the Com.
mercial Travellers' Association of Canada
was held in Toronto yesterday, when
officers were elected for the ensuing year.
A. by-law to exempt transportation com-
panies from liability for baggage was de -
Honesty the Rest Polley'.
We all know that honesty is the beat
policy. But I warrant you this—if you
knew a man whose honesty had no deeper
foundation tban a firm conviction of the
truth of the proverb; you would count your
silver spoons before you left him alone
with them..—,lar. P. C. Col.'s.
No Cue .Liking Ilini,
"No ; don't ask Itobidson to say a good
word for me. He wouldn't do it."
" Doesn't he like you? "
"No; he has owed me $10 borrowed
money for more than six months."--Nor-
wick Bulletin.
Conies Low, But She Must leave It.
Jigge—Miss D'Bonair has drown con-
siderably since I saw her last winter.
Wiggs—How so ?
Jiggs—When I saw her last her dress
came way up to her neck.—Detroit .Free
Press.
Visitor—Is the baby very sick, Bobby ?
Bobby—Yes, I guess she is, for such a little
bit of a thing.
—A great many people who are crazy to
get into the social swim are drowned befcre
they can get oat.
—In polite circles the word '". drunk"
or "intoxicated " is no longer used.
"Overestimated his capacity" is the proper
thing.
OUR ExsxssiVE LITSMAUES,
She's a genuine New Year's fairy,
Just the kindthat I would marry,
If I ever should select a wife;
Yet I cannot marry her,
Por her dainty cloak din;
Cost more than I'Ve earned in my whole life,
Without winning, Iresign ber,
Like the Etueror of China,
Who can't wed without three million dollars
Though it seems extremely funny, .
Yet I think he'd need the money,
And have nothing left to buy his oollars.
—Nature seems to have made one sorry
mistake in not fixing things so that a
people may grow in wisdom as rapidly as
in numberu.
—It is understood that Col. Villiers, of
Kingston, will succeed Col. LaMontague as.
Deputy Adjutant General of the Ottawa
Military District.
—The best New Year's gift which many
.oa.aK men could make to their families would be
Certain statements seriously reflecting , amore ai'nd of curmudge eon mood i is affable themselves. The
upon the Toronto City Auditors, regarding ;„„every -
grave irregularities in the Waterworks De- I body outside but cross as a bear at
partment, were made by the Chairman of home is altogether too common. Let
the Executive Committee yesterday, and a i him turn over a new leaf now and glee
special committee is investigating the itdown.
matter. The wife of John Bradford, of Wilming-
• ton, Del., left her bed while fast asleep,
One' very Just Tax. walked from the chamber into the hall and
A. few months ago a Pennyslvania girl fell downstairs, breaking her nose and sus -
married a bogus Count who has just been tainirg other severe injuries. She had been
arrested for swindling. We pay a tax on dreaming at the time of a similar accident
knew a good plan I would utilizeitimmedi
ately.” who marry them. -St. Louis Post -Dispatch. lady, a year ago,
imported noblemen, but it falls on the girls which had occurred to an acquaintance, a
, :'