HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2004-02-05, Page 5THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 5, 2004. PAGE 5.
Other Views
Just a cup of coffee, please
/love my cup of coffee, but I never, ever,
ever buy it, at Starbucks. Know why?
Because I like a large cup of coffee, also
known colloquially as a big cup of coffee, and
Starbucks doesn't sell large/big cups of coffee.
They sell something called a 'Venti'.
There is no way in hell I am ever going to
step up to a coffee counter and ask for a Venti.
Wouldn't help if I preferred a medium or a
small cup. Starbucks doesn't sell those either.
At Starbucks medium and small are `grande'
and 'tall' respectively.
Maybe it's a Geezer Thing, but to me, coffee
is an abidingly simple drink.
You've got your good beans; you've got
your boiling water; you've got your nice,
chunky china mug.
You don't need your
mocha/frappachino/mocchiata/lattetallahatche
e confection to muddy the libational waters.
That's my opinion. Starbucks couldn't agree
less.
As a matter of fact the geniuses at Starbucks
have intensified their coffeelingo antics.
They've published a 20-page booklet called
Make It Your Drink, which encourages
customers to hurl themselves headlong into a
linguistic Brave New World of Starbuckese.
You want a cup of decaf? The booklet
encourages you to ask for 'unleaded'. You
want more foam and less milk? That's a 'dry
cappuccino'.
Looking for an extra jolt to kick start your
day? You want a 'shot in the dark' (extra
espresso). You gonna drink it here or take it
with you?,
You'll need a 'for-here cup' or else a coffee
'with legs'.
Achange at the top at Canada's biggest
newspaper could be a blow to Premier
Dalton McGuinty and his Liberal
party.
The publisher of The Toronto Star for the
past decade is leaving and those ousting him
are considered more interested in increasing
their return on investment than maintaining its
left-of-centre views.
The Star is the only paper among the four
large Toronto dailies that has fairly
consistently supported the Liberals.
The Sun and National Post unabashedly
back Conservatives and the further right the
better, their favourite having been former
premier Mike Harris. The Globe and Mail has
thrown its voice behind different parties over
the years, but mostly behind the Tories.
In last October's election, The Star's
editorials declared it was time for a change,
which was almost the Liberals' campaign
slogan, and McGuinty could best reverse the
wreckage left by eight years under Harris and
his successor, Ernie Eves.
The Sun insisted faithfully that Eves was still
best for the job, but The Post conceded
grudgingly McGuinty would win and even this
would have some up side for the Tories in
giving them a break from governing in which
they could recover their principles.
The Globe argued that Harris left the
province in reasonable shape, but Eves steered
it off the right path and should be booted out,
so at least readers did not lack diverse
opinions.
The. Star also ran an aggressive succession of
editorials accusing Eves of flip-flops and
lacking fresh ideas and no reader could be in .
doubt where it stood.
The Star showed similar zeal in producing
news stories that hurt the Tories, such as
revelations of negligence in meat inspections
and handing lucrative favours in slot machines
And if you're a hidebound traditionalist just
looking for a cuppa Joe, don't expect much
empathy from your smiling Starbucks coffee
jockey because Starbucks doesn't have mere
`employees' any more. They call them
`customologists'.
Gah.
Starbucks claims they need a 'more
comprehensive' methodology for marketing
their goodies and maybe they're right. After
all, they claim there are (I'm not making this
up) nineteen THOUSAND possible
combinations of coffee-based drinks and
flavours on the Starbucks menu.
The company says they hope this new
gambit will 'make the coffee-ordering
experience more fun'.
Somebody needs to tell Starbucks that
ordering coffee isn't supposed to be a soul-
enhancing experience. DRINKING coffee is
fun. Ordering coffee is like driving through
traffic to get to the dance.
That's what I think - but what do I know.
Last year, Starbucks coffee sales worldwide
reached $4.1 billion, whereas I made just
enough money to pay off my student loan.
Which I've been carrying since 1965.
In any case, the Starbucks pamphlet isn't
breaking new ground. People have been riffing
and contracts to some who donated to or
worked for the Tory party.
The paper snuck a reporter inside the Don
Jail to expose appalling conditions for inmates,
but these stories in the main were accurate and
fair and gave the public information it ought to
have.
The Star also showed nonpartisanship by
publishing a poll it took early in the election
that suggested the Tories were reviving, which
gave their campaign the only hope and life it
had, although these were short-lived.
The Star's editorials have almost
consistently urged electing Liberals in
provincial elections, with only a couple of
aberrations in recent times
In 1981 The Star opted for long-serving
Tory premier William Davis over Liberal
Stuart Smith, arguing Davis had shown more
ability to address vital national issues,
including the need for constitutional reform
and strong central government, a Star
hobbyhorse.
The paper also found it easy to put down
Smith, an intellectual impatient when lesser
minds failed to recognize his merits, who had
threatened to resign if voters elected Davis
again.
In 1963 The Star advised readers to vote for
Tory John Robarts over Liberal John
Wintermeyer, arguing he had better grasp of
the issues and judgment.
But there was strong suspicion The Star
jazz solos off the stuff we put in our mouth for
eons.
Even the humble cup of coffee has its
synonyms - Java, Joe, Quickstart.
As for what we consume with our coffee, we
fool with that too. I used to eat in a restaurant
where Eddie the waiter got his kicks by
spontaneously re-naming dishes on the menu.
If someone came in and ordered a
cheeseburger with lettuce, tomato and onion
plus a salad, Eddie the waiter would yell out
"ONE CHEESE PUCK, ALL DRESSED,
SIDE OF SLAW..."
If a customer wanted, two poached eggs on
toast, Eddie would lean into the kitchen and
holler "ADAM AND EVE ON A RAFT - AND
BURN IT!"
Now, Darlene, the cook, was a literal kinda
gal. She sometimes had trouble understanding
the orders.
I remember the day she came out waving a
bill saying "What's this order, Eddie - 'three
flat tires, double headlights and a pair of dry
running boards' - what am I, a garage
mechanic?"
Eddie patiently explained what the order
meant - three flat tires: three pancakes, double
headlights: two eggs, sunny side up, and a pair
of dry running boards stood for two strips of
bacon, extra crisp.
Darlene harrumphed and went back into the
kitchen. A couple of minutes later, a steaming
bowl of pork and beans appeared in the
server's window.
"Who's this for?" asked Eddie.
"It's for the guy with the car" yelled
Darlene, "I figured while he's waiting for his
order he might wanna gas up."
publisher of the day had a more personal
aversion to Wintermeyer in that he grew up on
the wrong side of the tracks from the Liberal
leader in the Kitchener area and disliked him
for his patrician background.
Since McGuinty's Liberals won the October
election, The Star also has not invariably sung
their praises. When McGuinty lamented hp
may be unable to fulfill some of his promises
because he has been left a higher-than-
expected deficit, the paper demanded "who is
that guy in the premier's office?"
The Star said voters chose the change
McGuinty asked for and he should show
leadership and get on with providing it.
The Star in another editorial criticized
McGuinty for setting up so-called citizens'
juries to advise on spending and said he either
expects residents to come up with answers he
should have himself or wants to blame them
when he breaks election promises.
The Liberals do not exactly have The Star in
their pockets — but it is a powerful friend they
would hate to lose.
Letters Policy
The Citizen welcomes letters to the
editor.
Letters must be signed and should
include a daytime telephone number for
the purpose of verification only.- Letters
that are not signed will not be printed.
Submissions may be edited for length,
clarity end content, using fair comment
as our guideline. The Citizen reserves
the right .0 refuse any letter on the basis
of unfair bias, prejudice or inaccurate
information. As well, letters can only be
printed as space allows. Please keep
your letters brief and concise.
Stress full
The window frames a grey and white
world, a world in which it's difficult to
see where sky ends and earp begins.
Snowclouds fill the space above, their bounty
spilling copiously, stirred out of any
complacency by a wicked wind to blanket the
ground below.
You've done your best to weather the storm,
facing the bluster to take a walk, refusing to
give in or hide away completely. But, even
with your best efforts work days and important
appointments have been missed. If you do
attempt travel it is difficult, often harrowing,
definitely slower.
Without business as usual finances suffer.
Winter has put you behind in everything,
spring still seems a long way off and it feels
there's no reprieve in sight. For even the most
optimistic it adds up to stress.
Things such as cabin fever, money, family,
careers can all place a huge demand on our
physical or mental energy.
So how do you handle your stress?
I've certainly got my ways. I have no guilt
about escaping into a book. Candlelight and a
bubble bath can end a difficult day on a
soothing note. Time with my kids or with
friends is the perfect pick-me-up and dinner
out is a treat. Massage kneads tight muscles
into relaxation and a facial is total hedonism.
It was during this last little taste of pleasure
recently, that I began to think about stress, not
in the present, but in the past. Lying there,
feeling pampered and calm, I came to the
realization that while the condition is not new,
it does seem to be bandied about more than in
the past.
Certainly my parents' generation must have
experienced many of the things that we do
today. They too lived in a crazy world with
war, emptying nests, menopause and
insecurity.
So, I thought about What they did to balance
it. Spas and yoga, counselling and support
groups .were not for everyday folk. friends
talked, but certainly not about anything too
personal.
My own parents worked hard. My dad
owned his own business, one requiring him to
be on-call 24/7. Its success, of course, was
dependent on him. Mom balanced work and
home to help make ends meet. Throw in a
daughter hitting puberty in the 1960s and life
was no picnic.
But every Friday night, they sat together in
my dad's auto body shop after it closed and
talked about the week. Saturday night nothing
would keep them from the dance and
socializing with friends. And a close
connection with church soothed them
spiritually.
Take it back even further, to the generation
before. I do not recall ever hearing the word
stress from my own grandparents or even
something close to it. They certainly lived in a
time of challenges, when even a trip to the
bathroom in winter could be tricky.
Entertainment was generally simple —
community gatherings or a night of -cards
brought people together away from life's
trials.
Perhaps we have come to expect too much
from this life. While I believe we should all
expect joy to come our way, while I believe
times are more stressful, it is certainly in our
reach to respond to that. We are blessed with
experiences and opportunities, that never
existed for those before us. Appreciate them.
Change could be a blow to Liberals