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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2004-01-22, Page 5THE CITIZEN, THURSDAY, JANUARY 22, 2004. PAGE 5. Other Views If you go down in the woods today... The fish managed to drag King, in his weakened condition, into the water. The man then got entangled in the line from a second rod, was swept up by the current, and drowned. Shades of Moby Dick. Perhaps it's time to end our dog-eat-dog relationship with the other species and sue for peace. If so, we could sure use a guy like Andrew Larkey. Andrew's an Australian entrepreneur whose latest overture to the animal world is a sure-fire winner: flavoured designer water. For dogs. Yes, friends, charcoal-filtered and laboratory-purified Dog Plus K-9 water, in flavours ranging from chicken and corn to liver and bacon is now available in better pet stores everywhere for only $2.70 Canadian a bottle. "Dogs get bored with plain water," explained Mister Larkey. "They deserve variety just as much as people." Well, of course they do, Andrew. But more important, Dog Plus K-9 water sends out a powerful message to the animal world. It shows them that we're ready to bury the hatchet. Not to mention the 30.06 and the 12-gauge. It's a message that may take some time to reach the marauding bears of New Jersey and the murderous barbels of the United Kingdom, but Rome wasn't built in a day. We'll convert domestic animals first. We'll win the hearts and minds (such as they are) of the Pekineses and the Pomeranians, then well move on to the Fox Terriers and German Shepherds. And one day we'll even have pit bulls eating out of (instead of just eating) our hands. But before that gladsome time, some handy advice, should you one day find your leg being `romanced' by an amorous pit bull: Fake an orgasm. you like strawberries? Me too. Janet Connors used to like strawberries, but she kinda went off them after she opened a basket of strawberries in her kitchen and found a bug-eyed member of the genus Hylidae staring back at her. Actually, all members of the genus Hylidae are bug-eyed - they're tree frogs. Janet Connors' kitchen scenario might have made some sense if she lived in Tampa or even Vancouver, but she lives in Ottawa and this happened in January. How does a live tree frog wind up on your kitchen counter in the middle of a Canadian winter? Simple. It came in with the groceries. There's a lot of that going on these days. A shopper in Brockville found a black widow spider in a bunch of grapes last summer. A grocery worker in Montreal fainted after a tarantula scuttled out of a bunch of bananas and ran across her hand. We live in a global village. If we want tropical fruits and vegetables on our table in winter, we better be prepared to run into the odd tropical hitchhiker. I prefer not to think of them as intruders; more as interspecies emissaries. Let's face it: we humans are crowding all the other terrestrial tenants on just about every front. There's bound to be some confronta- tions, and not all of them as benign as a tree frog hopping out of a strawberry basket. Take for instance, the bears. You've heard about the bear problem? Big story in The Wall Street Journal last month. More than 1,000 bear-versus-man encounters last year alone. People found bears raiding their garbage cans, pulling down bird feeders, snarling at backyard dogs. premier Dalton McGuinty will do anything to save money except cut down on his spin doctors. The Liberal premier says he has to reduce spending, because his government faces a $5.6 billion deficit, and will hold meetings at which he will seek advice froni the public on how to do this. As part of this exercise, McGuinty also spent $8,000 to fly an adviser to British prime minister Tony Blair here to lecture his cabinet for a couple of hours on how to slash spending while gaining public acceptance. The province did not announce the visit and it would have escaped notice if news media had not stumbled across it. Even then the government did not want to talk about it, apart from saying the adviser was knowledgeable because Blair cut costs. But many will wonder why McGuinty had to bring an adviser from overseas and why Ontario politicians often feel other jurisdictions have better answers. Mike Harris, the Progressive Conservative premier until two years ago, found most of his ideas, including punishing welfare recipients who cheat by cutting them off for life, in the United States. Britons rarely know much about Canadian politics. The only leading British politician who mentioned_ an Ontario premier in recent years was Roy Jenkins, who referred to William Davis as 'Joe Davis,' Joe being a champion billiards player. The expert 'from Britain might have difficulty explaining how McGuinty should convince the public to accept his yearning to bring back photo-radar, which makes money by hiding cameras in unmarked vehicles to catch speeding drivers. This would be a tricky manoeuvre for the premier, because half his senior ministers as Fifty-seven bears actually barged into people's homes. And where did this happen - Prince George? Sioux Lookout? Somewhere in the Yukon? Nope. In New Jersey. Black bears in the suburban and rural corners of The Garden State are suddenly and unaccountably breeding like crazy. As their numbers climb they get more and more aggressive about seeking out food. There are ominous changes in bear behaviour on this side of the border too. Last year, wildlife officials in British Columbia heard a new beef from deer hunters. They complained of being 'scared off' by bears arriving AFTER the hunters had shot and killed a deer. Major cultural adaptation here: the bears were responding to the sound of a gunshot, but instead of running away, they were treating it as a dinner gong. Could it be that animals are wising up? That after millennia of being hounded by humans they've decided to turn around and hunt us? Last week's Globe and Mail carried a story out of England about an angler being killed by a fish. Stanley King, who was recovering from an operation, was fishing on the banks of the Thames when he hooked what was estimated to be a 3-5 lb. barbel (It's a fish, Arnold). opposition MPPs in the 1990s complained photo-radar infringes civil rights and does not weed out dangerous motorists. An expert unfamiliar with Ontario would be hampered in suggesting where regional public meetings should be held and might not even know such locations as Kitchener, Thunder Bay, Sudbury and Kingston. Some Ontarians also will worry about the reliability of information from people close to Blair, because their most vivid memory of him is that he argued Iraq should be attacked because it had weapons of mass destruction, chemical and biological, it could launch within minutes, and was trying to obtain uranium suitable for bombs from Africa, both of which proved untrue. McGuinty should explain why he spent $8,000 to airlift someone to make a short speech when he could have been interviewed and his views relayed to the premier and cabinet. There also are such things as conference calls, which would have set back taxpayers less than $100. McGuinty also has a government packed with employees supposed to be experts in communications and public relations, who inform the public and are long skilled in putting the best face on its activities. The premier has his own communications staff, whom he has newly installed on the legislature's third floor close to reporters, so they can better get his message across, after squeezing out opposition parties who traditionally occupied this strategic space. Every ministry has a communications branch of public servants, who are supposed to be non-partisan. Almost every minister also has a communications adviser (a couple still have to choose theirs) who tends to, look after the minister's political interests first. Ministers once managed without communications aides of their own. The first in such a post was Janet Ecker, who worked her way up to become finance minister, traditionally the second most important cabinet role, under former Progressive Conservative premier Ernie Eves. McGuinty also promised he would do away with hiring consultants, but what is the U.K. adviser but a consultant? McGuinty has said he cannot deliver on some of his promises and will have to cut some services residents are accustomed to. He said he is considering discontinuing drug benefits to higher-income seniors, having more toll roads and charging more for birth certificates and marriage licences. But he has never mentioned he might cut his budget for public relations — that seems to be sacred. Letters Policy The Citizen welcomes, litters to the editor, daLyi:itrrerstiimust be signed, and should include a not be printed bt(ciitod401;10ntith, clarity %14111*§IPO*71111g ,?,,iind—nunenf as/ our veriticationlePonthy°."Lee titIt:rr:rhart ilirrethneot Pusign-IP:tew(ilil and ' /ct*IPtitl,tzlffiag;ti,,4mir--4itte light to regrettridejudiel:9:"' ICIi°'711eitOnlinalaYeTea4t)trnjielar°r14140°IstP.co°anc:IllseaticPwr s. Please er letters brief and concise. giving in At risk of having my words comp back to bite me, I am surprisingly optimistic this winter. My feelings at this time of year are no secret to anyone. I suffer from Seasonal Affected Disorder, so winter is a time to wimper and whine. (Well, not exactly, but I liked the alliteration) Yet this year so far something's different. Oh, I'm still not particularly joyful about the blistering cold, the nasty squalls and treacherous driving. I'm less than enthused about the short days and distant sun. I deeply miss my deck, my barbecue and grass between my toes. But I'm doing okay. Positive thoughts, often hard to swallow in this pallid season, are seeping into my consciousness, keeping the glass half full. Look how long the days are growing. We are more than halfway through January, and with February we can begin to notice a warming sun. And though the days of clear sky have been not exactly prevalent, they are glorious when they appear. While white may not be my favourite colour, its crispness next to a startlingly vivid azure is undeniably picture perfect. And I'm noticing. So what has brought about this slight, but noticeable change? First, I would have to give some credit to Mother Nature, who kindly held winter back. Though there were some hints in November of its impending arrival, it really had no staying power until this month. The other part of the solution, however, has been that I have stopped being quite so stupid. Knowing that winter brings me down, I have in previous years let it. Once a rebel, I seemed to have lost my fight. Rather than pretend none of the abuse was getting to me, I gave in, tucking myself away for the season. Well,i, not anymore. With steely determination, I have taken to the streets, trudging for fitness under my layers and layers of wool and cotton. I have charged headlong into the cold and winds. I have blinked frozen eyelashes, and shrugged shoulders deep into the downy warmth of my coat. And I return home with rosy cheeks, a feeling of victory, and one happy puppy, who joins me on these outings. Besides attacking the season outdoors, I have busied myself indoors with projects, some ambitious, some less so. Painting, cleaning, moving, sorting, sifting and throwing, I have filled empty, long hours with activities. Though they may not always be completed with the finesse of an expert, they nonetheless leave me with a sense of satisfaction. Now, all of this, of course, is leaving me a little tired. So in addition to laborious efforts, I am taking some time to pamper myself this winter. Obviously, there's little opportunity, but I have done what I can to take advantage of the time there is. And it's a good thing my needs are simple. A few extra minutes with a book and coffee, some quiet and a glass of wine, a comfy housecoat and a cup of herbal tea are perfect solutions for my busy life. All of this only means what most know - when it comes to life just forge on. I'm never going to be happy during the winter, that's a medical fact. But, as it is with any adversity help comes in the form of keeping busy. We may have to accept some realities, but there's nothing to be gained by giving in entirely to them. McGuinty not cutting down on the spin