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The Wingham Advance, 1916-07-27, Page 6100 1.0,4.0et 1,) HIGHER MATHEMATICS (Jester) "A. Wen Is eothIng divided ` • 'rah! That's old stuff. A. Iti,,s to diVitled by 4 *0 THE WHOLE TROUBLE, (Record) Ree -What was wrong with the Ge- zira:arally? She -Too much stick in the ghee and net enmesh in the punch! THE IDEA. tieeltimore .A.merican) ". am going* to have an old beeu for tbe hero of ibis Btory," "That's a eandy idea." rvIt4 15 DOUBLE. BARS. (Life) Ketekee--Is Settee on a, restricted • q? Bockep-Terribly; he is confirmed to sti at re can alert) ard hie 'v lie • I took. 4 • • — YET SOME ARE. (Washington Star) "A little learning Is a. dangerous. thing," "Yes," replied Miss Cayenne. "But that fact doesn't justify some of us iu being proud of how little we know." PREPARED FOR IT. (Life) Belle -Marie married a genius. - Millie -You don't mean it? Belle -Yes, but she has talent and can support him. A SPLIT. (,?.t. Louts Post Despatch) Knickers -What do you tip the wa!ter? Bocker-Half -way between what he ex- pects and what I can afford him, A DISTINCTION. (Baltlinore American) "I hate jam." "Do you mean on bread or In the trolky cars?" NATURAL TO EXPECT. (Baltimore American) "I want cut rates on this job," "What is It?" "Trinnning my trees and hedges." THE BOSS. (Ilichmond Times-Despata) (lelLbs-Binks says that at last he is' till undisputed master of his house. Stubbs -He is, too. His wife and fam- ily are away on a 'visit and the e ant has gait* - LET WELL, ENOUGH ALONE.' (St, Louis Post Despatch) "My Player -piano is out of order. The bellows are so leaky that it'imporsible to play on it. I -wonder how 1 c.iuld fix it?' "Why trifle with your luck?" CONDITIONAL, (Life) Head of Firm -We are thinking of in- creasing your salary, Mr, Lukleigh. You don't object, do you? Ecolticeeper-No, sir, not if you will first promise me you won't let my wife know it. • • • HIS RESPONSIBILITY. (Life) Judge -This man was a stranger to you! Then why did you pick a fight -with him? - Kelly -All me friends is away on their vaeations! :111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111101111$111111 111111111 ... . CROSS_. RPOS .................., -- riiiiimmilummiinfilliffiiiiiiii11111111Mu10111Miiiiiiiiiiing 1111 IOW MO OWN P m 64 ••• MW ••• 1104 P m. e el 1. "All women are matclarnaleers- some for themselves, and the rest for other people," %lid Mr, Francis Leices ter. He stood at his own aeartierug, evIth his back to his own chimney - piece, and surveyee tne subject com- prehensively from that advaiitageoue Position. And he was entitled to have an opinion of his own about it, for he was nearly three -and -twenty. Two ladies were preeent, "Which am I, pray?" said the younger, in- stantly accepting the challenge. She looked up at the speaker with great bright brown eyes, like those of some sylvan creature, "Which am. 1 -for myself or ter other people?" lorank laughed, and turned away a little, gazing at a golden effect of September sunshine on an old family portrait. "Oh, I am not going to be personal," he said; "you don't catch me go. I mean women in general." "Oh, woman in general! I don't rel,re for women in general," faid Miss ; Vivian 'and I don't much be- lieve that aaybodes else does," "1 may say what I like, thep.?' She nodded gravely, "Yes; on the uarierstanding that it doe•sn't apply to anybody in particular," "I'm afraid, perhaps, that won't be very interesting," said Frank, doubt- fully. "Im quite sure it won't be; it makes me yawn only to think of it." "But this does apply to somebody," said young Leicester's mother, smil- ing from her easy -chair. "Frank means me. Whenever he wants to make rude remarks about anything 1 do, he always calls me women in gen- eral. But this time he ought to be ashamed of himself, for -thank good- nessi-whatever I may be, I am not a neatchsmaker." "Say that agiin!" Leicester exclaim- ed. "To -day of all days!" "Well, I axn not!" she repeated, firm- ly. "I don't want to make a match of it, I'm sure. Only it seemed, hard thet they shouldn't meet somewhere pia have another chance." • "Suit so," said Frank. "Let's hope they'll profit by it. I should think they might know their own minds by now; they are getting rather elderly, these lovers of yours, aren't they?" "Elderly -well, they are not so young as Tiny here; but they are, a good deal younger than I am. I don't • see why they shouldn't have their feel- Sfigs as well as other people." • "011, I've no objection,' geld Frank, th his hands in his pockets and his 'Chin a little higher than usual. "If I wanted to make a match, it should be a new one while I was about it, not a rechauffe afafir like this, But that's your concern, and I'm. sure 1 wish you all success. Give them their wedding- ' STARK REALISM. breakfast, it you like. I'll throw old (New York Times) shoes 'after them, and go in for all the Mother (entering the nurserY)-Chn- rest of the .foolery with the greatest dren, why do you Sit about looking so Pleasure." He turned to Tiny Vivian. solemn and unhappy? Why not play 4 game of some sort? One of 'Em -We *are, playing. We're grown-up ladies making a call. GROWING UP. (Topeka Journal) "Your daughter is getting to be quite can do it all in the family! No. a blg girl, isn't she?"though! who's to give her away? The "Yes; she's big enough now to wear best man can't, can he?" short dresses." "It doesn't sound quite proper. I • wouldn't have the best man give me HIS ONLY FEAR. tfWay," said Tiny. (Baltimore Sun) ''"13etter have the best man to take Damocles saw the sword suspended by you," Frank suggested. "Well, it's a hair. "Quite safe," he declared. "Now show awkward, but for such a- little lima - me a sword suspended by baldness." teur performance I think I might don: • . ble the parts." - FIERCE FLUIDS. "Couldn't you manage a slight (Washington Star) change of costume as you dodged from "What made the trouble for the origin- one side to the other?" al Inhabitants of America, was firewater." "Do not be so silly," said Mrs. Lei - "Yes," replied Mr. Chuggins, "and what Is malting thp trouble for the modern ester., "And do remember that it is inhabitants is gasoline."' a secret -that nobody knows anything about this old love affair. It is quite a secret." "You hear?" said Frank, turning Carrie -See the diamond ring Arthur his head a little, and looking down at gave me. Isn't it a beauty? Tiny. Bessie -Indeed it is. Do you think It don't see why you say 'You hear?' is genuine? Carrie -Genuine? Why, it cut another to nie. I'm sure you're quite as bad, fellow out of me, •oe worse," said the girl, smartly. V"Oh, but it isn't that. I wasn't GETTING THE WRONG MAN, .doubting your discretion or my own; (Washington Star) but I thought you might have a few "jimere is something wrong with the spare secrets about you, and not have SCC:al system," remarked the talowht- eel woman, known where to put them for safe - "What makes you think se?' i keeping. I wanted you to -observe "That bandit who made all kinds of i'fiat you might bring them here." trouble is still roaming the worlda free "Now, Frank, yoa know I always do man, and rny husband, who is as con- scientious and law-abiding eititen as you keep secrets," said his mother. "I would want to meet, is locked tra on NIT shall keep this one," she added, vir- tuously. "I'm only afraid you and Tiny won't." "I shoul1. keep it better, I think," *eWill you be bridesmaid?" Tiny nodded. "If it's a pretty dress." "That's settled, then. You shall support the elderly bride; I'll be best man, and my mother shall be, the rest of the affectionate relatives. Why, we HAD BEEN TESTED. . (Life) triony between the MIMS 0401 end eurroundinge wMo1 wpuk deet• Mend a Plellaant Word to deserthe I. It is true that he had traveled as much or mere than hts neighbors), malting the UAW Of a lintited know. ledge of that tongue which te neither English nor Preach, thoUglt. it has affinities with both those letiguages. The at that Culverdale wari not Mitch knoWn. On the Contineut did net depress Frank. He Was Barr foyr the natives of other Iambi (Onepree hensively described pm "foreign, beg, gar"), who, owing to Inistortunee O f birth and training, could not ap- nreciate the position he held at home. As he felt himself Itintble to explain it With any degree of precision, he acquiesced in their ignorance with the good.hurnored tolerance of a young prince in disguise. He had read his Murray in a good many hiaterie lo- calities, could find his way, with A sense of old acquaintance, through the streets of Paris, and would have been greatly surprised if Any one had told him tita.t he was more countrified than his cousin Tiny Vivian, who had never creased. the Channel and had only enjoyed an occasienal week in town, It was true, nevertheless .Tiny, With her bright, innocent brown oyes and eager youthfulness, Was so evi- dently undeveloped that it was impos- sible to classify her. The budding Plant rnight open in the old garden where it had grown, or might bo transferred to 4 conservatory to bloa- sone more delicately there. But Prank had carried that slight rusticity of his to two or three European capi- tals, and brought it back to the peace- ful English home where the rooks were mewing in the elms outside his windows, and the doves cooing in the tangled copses. Mrs. Leicester went back to la? easy chair when Frank and 'One ..ad left her that afternoon, ana gave herselr up to drowsy meditation. "A match -maker, indeed!" she said to herself, as she leaned back, suffering her kril4t1ng and her plump white hands to lie idly in her lap. "As if 1 shouldn't make a match for Frank, if did for anybody! And no one can say I ever tried that." It was quite true, Mrs. Leicester had perceived that important young men were fat-. ally apt to fall in love in a wrong, or, which was much the same thing, In an eccentric fashion, and she had determined that if Frank would but choose some one fairly unobjection- able she would ask no more. Hitherto, in (spite of many little flirtations, he had escaped the snares laid for him at garden partiee and county balls, and had returned from all his wand- erings apparently unscathed. So far as he showed any real preference it was for Tiny Vivian, who received • his attentions in a very guileless and broken," Frank suggeated, in a con- soling voice. "It was Miss Fairfax who didn't wait for IYIr. South, then?' said Tiny, pursuing the story. "And did lie get married, too?" "Oh, no; he never married. He wasn't in the army long; he sold out, and went to live with an uncle, who died some years ago, and left him a nice little property. No, he never Married." "Why didnt she wait for him? 1 sha'n't like her! Was Mr. Austin rich?" "Pretty well, 1 think. He was a barrister, but he had money of his own. She is left very well off °Rego, ther, But Fhad quite lost sight of her for a long time till we happened tO meet at the Staunton& place a month ago, and I asked her to come and stay a few days. That's all," "I sha'n't like her," Tiny repeated, softly . "Thit you aven't accounted for Mr, South, now," she persisted, with Pitiless interest. "Oh, that was rather funny; it was at Mr. Lane's -Minna Wilkinson she used to be, Some one spoke of Mr, Gilbert South, and I was curious, I asked to be introduced to him, and we had quite a long talk a'bout poor Ceroline and old times. Wasn't it odd I should meet him just after I had seen Mrs. Austin again? He mention- ed her, and told me he used to know her, and began to ask so many ques- tions that I invited him to come and meet her here. And he jumped at it -quite jumped!" said Mrs, Leicester, sinking back. "He is in love with her still," she Tiny, Penisvely; "but she doesn't de- serve it." Frank settled his shoulders against the carved wood -work of the chimney - piece. "But how long ago is It since these young affections were blight- ed?" he inquired. "That's what I want tie know." Mrs. Leicester sat pondering the question. "I don't quite know," she said. "What year was it that young South went out to India? I could find out -I must have got it down some- where, for it was just when you had the measles." Frank uttered a very impatient ejaculation. "I wish to Heaven there was something you couldn't calculate In that fashion!" he said. Then he began to laugh, and turned half apoio- getically to Tiny, "Haven't you notic- ed? My ailments, whooping -cough and mumps, and that kind of thing—" duty. *fee THE TEST. (Life) said Tiny, "If I knew a, little more "We never know Whia We can do till , , i „, we try," quoted the Parlor Philosopher.. ADM t. une is so apt to let out half "That's right," assented the More Man. 'Secret while one is hunting about for "Many a girl who tells a fellow she ft ie live 'without him finds It re -•',PIG other half -'don't you think so?" n arkably easy after they have been robe laid her hand coaxingly on Mrs. married a 'while." Leicester's. "Do tell me. If nobody 4 • •,- knows it, how do you 'Move it?" IN AGREEMENT AT LAST. "My sister told ree-lny dear Sister, (The Christian Herald) who Is dead," Mrs. Leieester replied, what he was or what he could be. It nes fled before his irate wife, mid in a slightly altered -yoke, Tiny's may bequestioned Whether it would itself crept under the bed, from wheriee, brown eyes dilated for a momett,' and have been poseible to make provision peeking the first shelter that preaented after a short time, he peered cautiousthe corners of her eager, smiling, for Frank anywhere else In the arti- ly out, "Frank, you never had mumps! You are thinking of—" "- have infected all history. In fact, nothing has happened but my ailments ever since I was born. Ask my mother." Mrs. Leicester, who had risen to take her knitting from the table/ laid her hand on his sleeve. "They haven't been very bad, luckily," she said, looking up at his handsome, healthy face. "If they had been, the world would have come to an end, wouldn't it?" "Yes," she said, "it would' -for me." Frank bent his head and touched her smooth forehead with his lips. "For sentimental folly," he remarked, as he disengaged himself, "there is nothing like -like -women in general! Well, good-bye for the present." "Where are you going?" "Why, your superannuated lovers can't be here, either of them, for the next hour, and I promised Huntley I'd go and look at those cottages by the river they saa ought to come down. It's a shame to spend such an after- noon indoors." He looked at Tiny. "Won't you come, too? You haven't had a walk to -day." "Not had a walk! Well, you werq playing lawn -tennis for houra-1, should like to know what you call that!" Mrs, Leicester exclaimed. "I call it lawn -tennis!" sald Frank. "It wasn't a walk," Tiny chimed in. "I'll get my hat; I should like to go." She was at the door in a moment, looking back with an eager, glowing' little face as Mrs. Leicester called af- ter her, "Mind you are not late com- ing home." Frank Leicester was a fine young fellow, good-looking, goodhearted, good-tempered, and the owner of Cul- verdale Manor. Had he described him, self, he would have given that last clause the formost place, He was in- tensely conscious of the fact that he was a landed proprietor; and family tradition had impressed him with the belief that Culverdale Manor, taking it altogether, was the most desirable Spot. on the surface of the globe. Any trifling drawbacks were honorably disposed of in the limitation "taking it altogether." Frank could. not part himself in his own mind from the es- tate, which had belonged to the Lei- cestere for so mane" years. He was Young Leicester of ,CulVerdale, and, if he had not been Leicester,of Culver-, dale, he would hardly have known simple manner. It would be great pyoraotion for Tiny to be mistress of the old Manor house, which was a paradise to her girlish fancy, but Frank's mother was quite ready to welcome here there, and was very good meanwhile in the matter or in- vitations. Mrs. Leicester was an able, kindly, easy-going woman, and was really fond of the girl, yet in her fierce motherly fondness she would have sacrificed her any day, body and soul, for Frank. Tiny must take care of herself, If Frank wanted her, well and good, but if the young prince should 'chance to discover a more suitable princess elsewhere, his little cousin must go back to her own peo- ple, heart -whole or heart -broken as she Might ehance to be. Mrs. Leicester% thoughts turned from Frank and Tivy to her expected vis- itors, and drifted idly in the 'past, to which they belonged. How well she remembered the dull autumn after- noon when Caroline came in to tell her that Gilbert South was gone, and how he had done his best to preserve a manry demeanor to the last. "Poor boy! poor boy! I only hope Mildred Fairfax will be true to him," said the Xindly, sentimental Caroline, While her eyes filled at the thought of his sorrow. The sisters were excited over the love story, but naturally it failed to intereet the fretful little ty- rant who had the measles. Poor Aunt Carrie had to wipe her eyes and re- late a wonderful story about soldiers who went away in ships, but who were all coming home again very soon. Mildred Fairfax was not requir- ed in Frank's version of the romance. Aunt Carrie told no more stories; she was dead before the young lover reached India; and Mrs. Leicester, looking back across the long years Which parted her from her favorite Sister, a sad pieasure in taking up the unfortunate love story of whose earl- iest beginning she had been the confi- dante. She had a vague feeling that it might please Carrie if she could give Gilbert „South a chance of being hap- py after the fashion that Carrie had planned so long agO. It was a late and unsatisfactory cOnclusion, perhapst, Yet the best that she could see, and there was a sentimental charm about It which appealed to Mrs. Leicester's easily touched. feelings; so she sat in her easy-chair,Jhihking it all over, till the figures of the old story -Caro- line, Gilbert South, and Mildred Aus- tin -came and went in something of a confused and eoftened visiore before her hale -closed eyes, while the win- dow near which she sat became a great suriset picture of darkly tower- ing trees and yellow sky. The sound ee wheels passed through her pleas- ant dream, which Was hardly so much dispersed as a little more defined When Mr. South stood on the hearth - rug where Frank had stood a eallpie of houre earlier. He spoke in soft, de- liberate tones, and looked round the room with a covert inquiry in his glance. Mrs. Leicester made an effort, and was glad that he had a pleasant drive, "You find me all alone," she said; "Frank is out somewhere, and so is Mies Vivian, who is staying with us, They were playing lawn -tennis all the Morning, and they have been walking all the aftefnoon." Mr. South expresed his admiration. of Bath unflagging energy. "It would- n't suit me," said Mrs. Leicester, ean- didly; "but I have a sort of recollec- tion, that When / was young 1 used to think I wOtild run abOut all my life." "Ah, when one was young!" said Gilbert South, with a smile. "And so you are all alone?" he repeated, still looking round with questioning eyes. Mrs. Leicester aweate to a sudden comprehension of her compeuton's anxiety. "/ shouldn't bare bon alone long, even if you hadn't comer alto said, tun expecting Mrs. told you she was coming, If Yeil Seeing hiwife sts.nding tear by ttith dliouth went down a little. It was just verse, It. would certainly have been, s an upraised broom, he shouted; *JIG attention which aely mention of, diffieult. In his own house, On his own land, or in any company Where' there 'was the requisite knowledge oft the importanee of Culverdale, he was fearless, outspoken, and perhaps a. lit- tle conceited, with the happy and harmless; conceit of a young fellow who has beeit petted all hie life, and thinks the world at once better and easier to deal with than most of us, find it. Bat in any society where CuIverdale counted for nothing, her would have been shy and humble, With a very moderate opinion of his Own abilities, )3riefly, it May be said that Frank wao Culverdale. It was a prosperous, well-managed, 'wealthy, and. sheltered estate, beautiful after a cortaiu trim and Etialish ideal of beauty, but with nothing wild or orig.- that about it, It Was just so much Placid contentreent lying in a ring fenee. Frank was one with Culverdale aliraney, I it s about, i1810 body was boss in this house.' • -4 to PR ECAUTI °NARY. die King of Terrors ordinarily re -1 ceives in the cOurse of eonversation. "13ut there's hardly anything to tell," the elder lady went on; "Caroline. (Washington Star) knew something of young South., "Can you Accommodate myself and when. he Was really little more than at family for summer board?" "What's yOUr politics?" inctillred Parra- lad, and he liked to talk to her about er Corntossel. "Does that make any difference?" "Yen, l'rn not going to take another chance on lia.viri" the whole place stir - led up vdth arguments day an' night. All the folks that board here this sum - Diet, has got to have the same polities." • -4 • 11-ILKINS' SCHEME, (Paeifie Service elageeine) n.oeerlek--eireat Scott! Itas Thlktns lost his mind? Van Albert -4 don't think so. Why? todericit-Scst look, at the intrulnation In his house. rre has had every gas jAt burning all day. Van Albert -oh, that's just little eetteme BillOna has 10 ineecatae bill this month, IIIS Wife is eiruing elt to4norrm,v, 580 be told her he ima tem remaining at home and reading mery night since she went away. A WEE BIT SANE, (Chrietlau Hds eral While a certain Scotch minister was conducting religious cervices lit an nay - lob for the insane one of the inmates cried otit wildly: "I `Say, have we got to listen to ties?" The minister, surprised and confused tuned to the keeper and eeked: "nail stop Ppertking?" The keeper replied: "No, no; glInf", gaea along; Om v ill tot happen rtgaiii. That man oely has one lucid moment every seven yeatn." /dies Fairfax, It Was quite a boy -and-, girl attachment, you know; I (Wet. think It was ever allowed to be it reg- ular engagement; but Caroline used to tell me about it till I felt as if I knew him. She said it was quite touching to see how the young fellow worshiped the very ground Mildred Vairfa,X tried on: And then he got hie deenraission, and was ordered off to India. Oh, it's a long while ago! 1 • remeMber Chroline coming In to tell' inc that she had just said good-bye to.. lithe, poor boy," "Ile went away," field Tifty. "Yes, but why didn't they marry after- ward?" "Well, I don't know. After Caroline died, never heard any more about them. But when 1Vtildred lilttirfeile was four or five and twenty she married young Austin, and he was a friend ot rey liusbandes; so I saw soniething of her then, of course. We gave them a pair Of candlesticks, pink and gold. very Peaty; Mr. Leicester bought Mein in Paris. But I suppose they Would be quite Wrolig now," Mover mind; most likely they aro ,r Preserved Raspberries will keep their natural color if you use Lantk Sugar the pure cane sugar which dissolves at once. Order by name in original packages. 2 and 54 cartons 10 and 204b 'bags PRESERVING LABELS FREE Send red ball trade -mark cut from abag or cartonto Atlantic Sugar Refineries Ltd. Power Bldg., Montreal 43 144*** *++4*-44,44-Seltee+++1•44+* . ANTIQUES As a, welt -preserved antique the Wedg- wood table -service, made in 1713-4 tor the Erapreee Catherine of Russia is without a parallel be Ceramic history. 9.hie tiOrviee consisted of ever QUO alQUSallti pieces, ()itch article painted with a crest and embellished with a My Town. know my town Ana I love my town And want to help it be As great Et town to every ono As it seems to be to me. I praise my town and I cheer my town, And I try to spread its fame; And I know What a splendid thing 'twould be If you would do the same! I trust my town and I boost my town And I want to do my part' To make it a town that all may praise Prom tha depths of every heart! I like my town and I sing my town, And I want my town to grow; If I knocked my town or blocked my town, ownThaWouldn't be fair, you know. I think my town is the very best town In all the world -to me; Or if It's..not, I want to get out, And try to make it be! I talk my town and I preach my Own, As I think a fellow should Who has more at stake than to win or Forrntahkeelove of the common good! I bet on mY town, and 1 bank on my town. And I think it fine to feel - When you know your town and you love your town - That it's part of your honest zeal! I'm proud of' Iny town, I love my town, And I want to help it rise -- And that's the way to help a town - Not curse it ,and despise! -The Baltimore Sun. A WOMAN'S MESSAGE TO -WOMEN view picture, no two scenes being The cost of the service was about fifteen thousand dollars, and its des- tination, when completed was the al - ace of Tzarsko-olo, near St. Peters- burg. It was much -talked -of at the time, but gradually went out of sight, and little was -heard Of it during the last century. Aboat ten years ago the writer et these notes compiled memoranda, upon the subJect, and photographed. what Was then stippOzed to be the only re- main S of he service -five plates own - ea by Members di the Wedgw6o1 fam- ily, Subsequent inquiries at the Pats - elan court led to a search among tita Imperial Palaces, and value eight huut'? dred well preserved specimens• Were unearthed, a portion of which were, later exhibited ha London, Eng. The, order was for a vast "cream - ware service for. every purpose of the table," and the writer i of opinfon there ndver has been it table service produced, in any kind of ware, in which so man' new forms were ferst introduced as in the "Great Russian Service." Each piece was to bear a different ecene, and as the service was for use at the "Grenouilliere" (a part of the Palace of Tzarslco-selo), it child and a .frog were -to be painted on the underside as a distinctivemark, The "child" part of the crest was later on countermanded and the "frog" (grenouille) appeared, painted green, within a shield, inserted into the border which ran around the rim of each piece of ware, Instead of un- derneath, thus forming part of the decoration. The production of a service of sucli. high chqracter and liberal proportions opened out paths leading to the bet- termeat of the pottery industry of the end of the eighteenth century, and its effect upon art industries generally was beneficial and lasting. For the modeller it largely extended the range of shapes and articles required • for table purposes; to the decorator it meant the infusion of new blood and the adoption of new. methods of treat- ment, as the decoration being mainly of the picture order and requiring the service% of a greater number of artists than were available, with pottery- paluting experiences, other branches of art had to be requisitioned. The situation is summed up in the words of Josiah Wedgwooa, addressed to his partner, Thomas Bentley: , "Dare you undertake to paint the most enabelished Views, the most beau- tifull LaadscaPes, with Gothique Rains, ilrecian Temples, and the moat Elegant Buildings, with hand e who • ..nhver attempted beyond Huts 4 and Windmills upon Dutch Tile at ehree- halfpenee a dos./ And this, too, for the first Empress in the World! Well, if you dare attempt and can eucceed in this, tell me,no more of yeur Alex - enders, no nor of your Prometheuses neither, for surely it is more ft." make Artists than mere men." if you are troubled with weak, tired feelings, headache, backache, bearieg down sensations. bladder weakness, cons- tipation, catarrhal conditions, pain in the sides regtilarly or irregularly, bloating or unnatural enlargements, sense of fall- ing or misplacement of internal organs, nervousness, desire to cry, palpitation, hot flashes. dark rings under the eyes, or a loss of interest in life, I invite you to write and"ask for my simple method dif home treatment with ten days' trial en- tirely free and postpaid, also references to Canadian ladies who gladly tell how they have regained health, strength, and happiness by this method. Write to -day, Address: lirs. M. Summers. Box S. Wind- sor nut. Some Recent British jokes. MANY SHOTS NEEDED. A girl who had just become engaged to a young "sub." was telling her best friend that he'd threatened to shoot anyone who dared to kites her. "He'll need a maehine gun, won't he, dear?" was the rather pointed comp:tent. when Culverdale was itt its best, wit% member. She WM obliged. to put her the airy and ItOpefUl freehnese ee Visit off for a few days, and she nr- Spring about it, and the beauty of ranged to COMO this very afternoon -- promise in copse and meadow. *Meth- • in fact, 1 have sent to meet her." er he would ever be one with Culver- "How does she cattle, thea?-ber 11, dale when it Was at Its Went, an ex- later train? You need not have sent panse Of aden and heavy acres ly- twice, Mrs. Leieester—I walla have ing drearily tinder a dull November waited." 1 sky, was a miestiOn which Might eug- (To be eontinued.) gest itself to a ehanee obaerver more _ readily than to those who knew and t'Oile good turn deserves another," loved him ag he was. quoted the Wise Guy. "Yes, but we, Perhaps it is rameeessary to say fortunately, perpetual inotio1i as nev- that Frank was essentially a Country. er fully Materialized," added the gentleman. There was a pleasant har- SIMPle Mug. -- 1- NATURE'S SWEET RESTORER, The Dublin foreman found a navvy asleep on the dock when he should have been at work. "Slape on," Mut- tered the 'foreman. ."While ye elape ye're on the payroll. When ye wake up ye're ottt av work." • AWXWARD. A hurried glance at the latest num- ber of the Sphinx, -the bright official organ of the 2nd -lith Batt. Manchester Regiment, -yielded this: "What's the matter, Colonel?" "I told my man to take my horse and have it shed, and the foora mk3- 'understood me, and has gone and had It shot!" THE OLD AND THE NEV. • The Old Versien-Men must evork and wonien must weep. The New Verahni-Men must fight and 'women must work. • • Sillidus-Oh, all women are the same. Cynicus-Don't you believe It. In fact, Oven one woman isn't the same for any considerable length of time. ' Dangerous Throat Troubles Prevented by Nerviiine ilUDOR ROSE EMBLEMs'CiF" ROYALTY FROM HENRY VII, 1485-1509 TO ELIZABETH, 1508-1603 HAS BEEN REVIVED AS A DECORATIVE FEATURE UPON GLASSWARE. SgE EXAMPLES AT ISSUE b. ROBERT JUNOR'S ANTIQUE GALLERIES 62 King St. East HAMILTON, - ONT. visit and search every II -boat before opening fire? That would. bring an unwonted element of comedy into the grave domain of international law., We should have to credit the Germans with a delightful sense of humov, The rule of solvitur ambulando would ap- ply lif most eases, we imagine, for the way of escape for a subxnasine is easY and promising. If the attempt were made the attacking snip Would be blatnelese whether the U-boat went clear to the bottom wider fire or enly so far down as it pleased her to go under her own control. But provocative dr amusement and worthy of applause as the plan may be for its ingenuity It could serve no Practical purpose, Encountered in mid -ocean a German U-boat might hereafter have comfortable gronnd for preeuming that an enemy ship would give her some benefit of doubt. In the North Sea the presumption would, Ile all the other way and she would be sunk on sight,' Nor could Ger- many 'complain overmuch if mistakes were made. The pretense that sub- marines sent out with cargoes and passengers for a 4,000 -mile voyage are Primarily and exclusively engaged in commercial venturee would not ...deep- ly impress a court of law. It would be only too evident that the real pur- pose was to create a saving presump- tion of merchant character for every II -boat, a mere ruse of war enjoying to title to respect after, detection, in like case with a flag of truce repeat- edly used be mask military stratagy. The disguise would take fatal taint from. what it sought to conceal. 'If that be the German purpose, no prac- tical or legal end will be gained. At •test the achievement of this bold 'Craft will serve only to stir the won- der and promote the gayety 'of nat- ions. -'New York Times. Minard's Liniment Ceres Dandruff. Varieties of Wrens. There are many varieties of wrens, more thau 150 species in both herni- *spheres, .and they. are grouped under the general term "troglodytes," which ie .Greek meaning "one that creeps Into holes." The common wren of Europe, which Is v"ery like our Vest known •wren, has many Pet nrunes. The French have giv- en it more than a hundred endearing names, and .Germany, Italy and other countries have done' neariy as well. In the folklore of,those countries the wren is ciedited with being a taansformad fairy and with an amount of wiadam far greater than its size would indicate. Avoid Harsh Nisi Doctors Condom Thom Most Pills unfortunately are harsh and drastic; they cause inflammatitm and great discomfort. Ratter like natufe is the way a pill should act, mildly, but effectively. Science has established nothing more satiefactbry as it family pill than the old reliable pills of Dr. Hamilton's, wh',.'n for forty years have had a, premier place in America. Dr. Hamiltons Pills are very mild and can be effectively used by the aged, by children, and indeed by men and women of alt ages. No stomach or bowel medicine is more reliable. No remedy for indigestion, headache or biliousness Is to effective, So Mild, so certain to quickly ear° as a 25c, box of Dr. Hamilton's Pills. IT ENDS MISERY OF COLDS QUICKLY. Don't Wait till night. Get after your cold now --this very minute, before it grows dangerous you should apply old-time "Nervi - Hite." Rub your chest and throat, rule them thoroughly with Nerviline. Re- lief Will be immediate. Nerviline Will save you from lying awake to -night, coughing, choking and Suffering from congestion In the chest and acute paha in the 'throat. Nerviline will break up that dull neuralgic headitehee-wili kill the cold and ekill at its very beginning—will save you from perhaps it odious II1- 'nelre. To take away hoarseness, to break up a gripPy cold, to cure a sort throat Or bad cold. in the chest, you can use teething so speedy and effective as Nerviline. For forty years it has been the most largely used family reme0 in the Dominion. Tillie hat proved its nierit, so can you'by.keep- ing- handy on the helf the large 0, cent family MC bettle; entail trial THE DEMSCHLAND. HELP WANTED. ishe'd Paik9e.huuorritoweefetfr-er. Tvres ltnU tetat" WieNJ'Pe-44_ IRLAi. TO woatic tng loetalirrat saetwlyixtrluoWoldth,w.gaOgoeds; alrjeurawlet(411. Le 1: weoca °Led., Almern4leeerinue.anntrarciluarlatetet emote. liainliton, Out, - 2Wiet Azi:To0E:ry.- ZtTly0.1ilihiltIoDwS Hut, C:rt:SR:lensOve,LOnt:zr:ov.1"8 ew.r4euee 1,4,...,,tyrie:414:vir!D---hvi,ttlYKoaurnl.Torteutlon,:avuI0111,nklAtyva'rgOes Asit eieesclee eta Mo. K. Bethune, ale Queen PoBWO0LL • o ertlermetrzixillao''neettireitianen.r414' 0137* emtdy o 1»rk alt W� liaVe several openings for incsperknaod help, - eenrentices while learning weaving. Spec - will bring rownthoetriQon!"11.gViagaensdnealblittg 151 intineenzent to faintly workers. Write, etcting full experience, if any, age, OW., to Vsny,Time Llitd11.,11°BsbrYantft?;ti,Ont.nufacns. uring co TITAITI`ED-EXPERIENCED MAN TO wa take charge of rive Cop Winding alaqhines, and to look after Yarn. Must be good manager of help. Good position open to eompetent man, Only those with general experience need apply. The Slingsby Manufacturing Company, Ltd., Brantford,Out. MISCELLANEOUS. AXTANTED-Gmles OF GOOD raDuClae Y! thin to train for nurase. realleT4 Wellandra Hospital, St. catharinac iun Some Interesting Points Her Ar- rival Creates. The claim is distinctly made for the Deutsehland that she is a merchant vessel, "armed only for defence." This raises interesting questions of law. For the most part they aro simple enough. Assuming that the craft carries no torpedoes and no war equipment save perhaps a single gun, coming under the Englsh and Anieri- can rule of defensiVe armantent, she is a merehant ship, Therefore, if her papers are found to be in duo form, she may enjoy the use of our ports at heir pleasure, may take on cargo and set out on her return trip. Peaceful use removes her war charac- ter, So she will not be obliged to leave in twenty-four hours or remain interned during the war. Recrossing the ocean she Will be subject to capture by British or French cruisers. flttt Imre arises questiOas of Interest entailing possible conamintications. She , may aot be sunk without warning or without pro- viding for the safety of her passerigers and craw. She must be Stopped and if there is doubt about her character the Met, be *visited and searched. Then, after her company is made safe She may be :sent to the bottom. Ali that is Plain. But must British embers hereafter observe these for- malities 'with. all Genitan submar- ine, lest perchettee they tomtit. a LtIsitania ,Cilme on a intieh reamed scale? And is it poesible that tha Germans have sent this 11-boati,ove,r with deliberate .ittempt 44"yeil their , entire submarine operetious he Pro.. teeth* ,claltd; qf puttitig 'their enittiles ender , .obligations ,te St. Joseph, Levis,' July 14, 1.903. Minard's Liniment co., Limited. Gentlemen,e-I was badly kicked by my horse last May, and after using several preparation% on my leg noth- ing would do. My leg was black as jet. I ewes laid up in bed for a fortnight, and could not walk, After using liree bottles of your MInard's Lini- Ilinnt I was lierfectly cured, so that could start on the road. SOS. DUTIES, Commercial Traveller. . , 1 ..1' Curious Manx Custom. On JulY 5 every year all the offi- cials of the Isle of Manincluding the clergy in their surplices. walk to the top of Tynwald and from the top of it tie Laws made airing the year are promulgated in Manx and Bag. lish. This promulgairlon of the laws on Ternwaid hill is as necessary as the royal assent to the val1diti of all las passed by the Manx legislature. This is one of the many relies which the old Norsemen left behind, and it dates so far back that its origin is lost in the mists of antiquity. -Liver- pool Merezy. , To preacrve heattity stateof size 25 cents, sold by any dealer, any- keep e"your. heart warm aa.4 your head where cool. • lel (nerd's Liniment for sale everywhOe GI LS WANTED Experienced knitters and loop. ers, also young girls to learn. Clean work and highest wages. CHIPMAN-HOLTON I.NITTING CO., LIMITED, HAMILTON, ONTARIO. Shopping in Europe. Visitors from abroad are always sur- prised at the lateness of the hour at which London shops are opening. In all large towns on the continent shops are open and in working order at 8 o'elock or earlier. But in London one frequently sees a sleepy-eYed porter taking down the shutters at 9, while a walk down Oxford street or Regent street at this hour necessitates con- stant vigilance to avoid the debris and litter pf the day before which is being turned out of the half -opened esta.b- lishment.-London Spectator. 4* • ' No More • Cure \ Guaranteed Never known be fail; acts without pain in 24 hours. Ia soothing, b.ealies; Corns take% the ett right out. Igo reme- dy so quick), safe and sure as Pet - ram's Painless Corn Extenctor. Sold everywhere -25c per bottle. WANTED Platen and Cylinder Press Feeders Steady Work; Union Wages. ' APPLY TIMES JOB DEPARTMENT Hamilton, Ont. IF0 SALE A HIGH BRED, SOUND BAY HACKNEY Well broken, thoroughly reliable, a lady can drive; also complete outfit, includ- ing phaeton and runabout. Apply, J. M. EAsTWOOD, Times Office, Hamilton. Scolds Gagged With Iron. In the seventeentn catitury erring inbabitaats of Newcastle used to un- dergo far more trying ordeals than that of the drunkard's cloak. Ralph Gardner, in it work entitled "England/a Grievano in Relation. to the Coal Trade," publishiid in 1655, records having seen "In Neeveastle slx months ago one Anti Bridlestone drove through the streets by'an officer of the same cofporation 110Iding a rope in Ids hand, the other end fastened to an engine called the branks, which 18 like it crown, it teeing of iron, whicli was muzzled over the head and face, with it great gag of iron. forced inth her inqath, which forced the blood out, and that is the punishment which the magistrates do inflict upon ehiding mei ,scOlding women," -e -London. tx- press. • Eggs a La Quebec.. Out an onien into fine dice, fry lightly in a tablespoonful of butter, then dash in a teaspoonful of vine- gar. Butter a shallow dish and, strew the Onion in it. Break five eggs in'p it, being careful not to break the Yolks. Bake in a hot oven until the whites are set. Dust on salt and white pepper and sprinkle with coarse bread - crumbs fried brown in butter. Garniah with parsley and serve in sauce dish: Llnitreerit Curet Buenti, Ete. WOULD STRIP -'THE 'EAGLE. • (Torouto Telegram) • .„ Ati ,Mt -tot -lean cartoonist illustrates his 'ef result of the greatest $sett figlitt in all history by portraying the British Lion avith the tie cen of defettt thialte its tail. if ,the tin alit of navel defeat Is ever .titd:tte the talleof the British Lion that sanfe defeat will be the means of'pluelt. Mg 'the titit feathers of the whole hide of the American Eagle and every otbee proud bird of freedom on earth. PERSONAL. ERSONS SUFFERING OR THREAT- ): ened with tuberculosis, appendicitis, indigestion, co,nsttpation, dyspepsia, anorexia, hemorrhoids, weak stomach, liver, kidneys. Write for particulars. John Galbraith, Croayn Ave., Toronto, Canada, Substitutes for Cotton. In the search for substitutes for cot- ton the Germans are making use of sphagnum moss which to some ex - teat has been in use both in Germany and England prior to the present war. The moss is so filled with minute tubes that in its ordinafy state it holds eight times its own weight in water and is therefore a powerful ab- sorbent when dry It is soft and light. Gathered from the swamps it is dried on rocks and bushes until bleached white, then cleaned and sterilized. Minard's Liniment Relieves Neuralgia. 4 • A Royal Snake Slaughterer. The "secretary .bird" is one of the most precious birds in South Africa. It is royal game, and any person de- stroying one is liable to a fine of £10. Majestic looking birds, they stand about three feet high, and generally go In pairs. They are of drab ciilor, with black, feathery legs, and are valued for their propensity for killing snakes. Where the'esecretary bird is seen there are sure to be many reptile s about. The bird beats down its adversary first with one wind and then with the other, at the same time trampling on It with its feet until the snake is suffi- ciently stunned to catch it by the head with its claws. Then the bird rises far U p in the air and drops ite victim to the ground to be killed. By this means thousands of venomous reptiles are destroyed. -London Scraps, A Man's Meal for Five Cents. Living on mush makes a mushy man. A man who works with hand or brain must have a man's food. Two Shredded Wheat Biscuits with milk or cream will supply all the strength -giv- ing nutriment needed for a half -day's work or play at a cost of not over five cents. Simply crisp a few Shredded Wheat Biscuis it/ the oven and serve with fresh fruits and milk or cream. ?Made in Canada