HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2000-11-22, Page 5THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 22, 2000. PAGE 5.
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Talking about the write stuff
I heard an expert on orthography rattling on
the other day over the airwaves of the CBC
about the computer — specifically the
grievous effect the infernal machines are
having on the penmanship of The Nation’s
Youth.
Now, I’ve done my share of rmtching and
boaning over computers but responsibility for
the way I write with a pen is not on the list.
My handwriting was illegible long before
computers infiltrated our lives.
I’ve been spectacularly unreadable for as
long as I can remember. Well, almost.
Like most of us, I spent the first five-or six
years of my life unable to use a pen and paper
to produce anything you could actually make
out.
Then school kicked in. Under the tutelage of
a succession of vigilant and unforgiving old
bats, I learned to clutch my pencil in a white
knuckle death grip and labouriously scrawl out
the letters of the alphabet, painfully
progressing from crude (and frequently
backward) block letters to that oversized,
looping cursive script they all insisted we
master..
By the time I was 12 or thereabouts, I had
quite a nice hand, actually.
Neat and flowing and easy to follow. My
teachers were impressed. Even my mother
bragged about it.
But the next thing I knew I was in high
school and I suddenly had to take a lot of notes
quickly. I didn’t have time to worry about how
my handwriting looked, or whether anyone
else could read it.
By the time I got out of high school, I knew
fragments of trigonometry, a smattering of
history, was intimately acquainted with the
The responsibility of a nation
One of the most difficult questions
which must be answered in our society
has to be the level at which we hold a
person responsible for his or her actions and
how much we take pity on that person.
The same question holds true for nations.
I make these comments because now and
again I read a letter or an article or hear
verbally the assertion that charity begins at
home and, before we start handing out money
and other forms of aid, we should concentrate
solely on removing poverty and its associated
ills from Canada. Along with that goes the
suggestion that other countries, no matter how
poor, should look after their own poverty.
Coupled with that is the assumption that, if
we only throw enough money in the general
directions of a problem, it will go away. Better,
it is argued, we throw the money at our
problems than at others’. Well, we have been
throwing megabillions of dollars at such
problems in Canada and they most assuredly
have not gone away.
The same holds true for less fortunate
nations; untold billions have been thrown at
these nations and in most of them there is not
much to show for it. What can be done to
improve the system?
For openers, we might consider as Hawed
our assumption that throwing money will do
the trick. Many of the recipients, be they
nations or individuals, are simply not up to the
task of handling money wisely. Some people
on welfare cannot even succeed in the simple
task of transferring money from their welfare
cheque to the landlord.
Some nations do exactly the same thing; they
spent the money foolishly on senseless projects
or else cannot transfer the money to the sectors
where it will do the most good.
Sometimes the right hand does not even
innards of pickled frogs, a couple of dozen
French verb declensions and what a dangling
gerund was. I could even recite Marc Antony’s
funeral eulogy.
What I couldn’t do was write about any of
it, because my penmanship had regressed
and deteriorated to a pre-school level. A note
from me looked like it had been written by a
seven-year old suffering from advanced
hypothermia.
My handwriting was so pathetic, several
people mistook me for a medical practitioner.
Which has always mystified me— how
doctors can get away with writing
prescriptions that look like they stuck a ball
point between their toes and dashed it off. Bad
enough that they’re writing in Latin shorthand
and metric measurements — flagrant
illegibility should not be the third horseman in
this mix.
The doctor with bad handwriting is a
comedic stereotype, but why are we laughing?
These are people who are supposed to be
meting out specific drugs and dosages that
could be the difference between life and death.
I can hear the pharmacist on the witness
stand now: “Oh, ‘Aspirin’! I thought he wrote
‘arsenic’ — sorry.”
And it looks like I’m not the only one who’s
nervous. The Metropolitan Medical Center in
Atlantic City, New Jersey is now herding
Raymond
Canon
The
International
Scene
know what the left hand is doing. One example
which comes to mind and in which I was
involved was a program paid for by Canada
which channeled money into developing a
cottage industry in Bangladesh which would
reduce unemployment in that country. The
industry in question was that of making shirts;
it was argued that women could set up a small
operation in their own home making shirts
which could then be exported.
The project was hailed as a success since in
Bangladesh women have a most difficult time
finding work. Men do, too, for that matter, but
not to the extent that women do.
I got one of the first shirts to wear and found
it to be of excellent quality and style. But the
rejoicing was premature. It turned out that
Canada was unable to import any of the shirts
because of another agreement which controlled
the number of textile products coming in this
country.
All this in spite of the fact that the most that
Bangladesh shirts would have taken of the
Canadian market would be a measly one per
Final Thought
You don’t live in a world all alone. Your
brothers are here too.
-Albert Schweitzer
______________________________________
practicing doctors into a classroom for the
purpose of teaching them how to write all over
again.
That's right — hand-writing classes for
doctors. And what’s more the doctors are lining
up to sign on.
Why?
Perhaps it’s the fact that a recent study shows
up to 25 per cent of medication errors in the
U.S. are related to illegible handwriting.
Or maybe it’s that lawsuit that was settled in
Texas last year. The one where a jury ordered a
doctor, a drugstore and a pharmacist to pony up
$667,000 to the family of a man who died as a
result of a misread prescription.
Which reminds me of the old joke
concerning a physician notorious for his lousy
penmanship who replied to a dinner invitation
with a scrawled note that looked like it had
been written by a man operating a jackhammer
with his other hand.
The hostess couldn’t make out a single word
of it. “Eve got to know whether or not he’s
attending” she complained.
“Simple,” says a friend. “All you have to do
is take the note down to the Pharmasave.
Druggists can always read doctors’ writing.”
Desperate, the hostess hurries down to the
Pharmasave. She goes to the prescription
counter and hands the note over.
The druggist glances at the handwritten note,
grunts, then disappears into the back room.
“Getting a second opinion,” figures the
hostess. Five minutes later the druggist comes
back out to the counter and hands a small vial
to the hostess.
“That comes to $10.95,” says the
druggist. “Oh, and good luck with those
hemorrhoids.”
cent.
The Bangladeshis did everything that was
asked of them; it is we who have to take
responsibility for the failure of this project.
Charity may well begin at home, but if a
nation is going to indulge in foreign aid it has
to avoid the two pitfalls which I mentioned
above.
It all reminds me of the time I spent as
chairman of the outreach program run by our
church. We allocated our money very carefully
to both domestic and foreign projects. We
made sure that any funds were actually
channeled into helping the people targeted, not
into some bottomless pit. We even sent some of
our young people to work on the projects and
contributed money to their expenses.
This gave us two benefits. We had an even
better idea of how the money was being spent
and our young people had marvelous
opportunities to help others in Europe, Africa,
Asia, Central America and the Caribbean.
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So far I’m smarter
Well, I finally got my house back. A
rather clever interloper had moved
in and for several days recently, he
upset the usual comfort of my haven.
My story begins like Diary of a Mad
Housewife before moving into The Twilight
Zone. It was a typical early evening at the
Gropp household, dinner preparations
underway, a load of laundry begun when with
vacuum in hand I began my attack on Ani’s
furballs. Pulling out the couch, I was bemused
to discover a number of pieces of dry dog
food. At first, I puzzled over what strange new
behaviour my hyper-kinetic pooch was
displaying now. But as the initial surprise gave
way to a dawning enlightenment, I recognized
the possibility we had a rodent in our midst.
Yet, seeing no other signs of Pixie or Dixie,
then enjoying two days of no kibble thieving, I
was lulled into a false sense of security. Peace
of mind was short-lived, however, as that
evening while settled in front of the television,
I watched Ani go berserk, to put it mildly, at
the piano. Howling, panting, sniffing, she
scratched and dug, prowled from side to side.
Now my warrior, who has been working
long, long days, was already tucked in for the
night while this frantic search was being
conducted. And while I’m not terrified of
mice, I am also not inclined to spend any time
with one. Thus, my solution was to retire early
that evening.
Bolstered by daylight the next morning, and
recognizing that my solution had actually been
no solution at all, I launched my offensive
attack. Cheesy bait in hand, I laid my trap
before, smugly anticipating success, I headed
out to work. Much to my dismay upon
returning I discovered, however, the wily
critter was not to be so easily tricked.
Nor was he for some time. Two moie
evenings I listened to him delightedly toying
with us, messing with our minds, frustrating
poor Ani, who was always It in the game of
hide-and-seek. I could hear him playing with
what I presumed to be bits of dog food be
managed to snatch while we slept, content in
his safe little ivory tower. And two more
evenings I went to bed early.
Before I did, though, on the second night I
got my son to come listen because by this time
my husband thought I was hearing things and
I was beginning to question my sanity.
However, with affirmation that I was no
crazier than normal, what became scary was
how clever this little fellow was. His game
began like clockwork at the same time every
evening. He never showed himself. He left no
signs. He ignored the trap.
Assimilating this information my
imagination, made more active by solitude,
took on paranoiac dimensions. My uninvited
houseguest had become my intellectual equal.
(I know, I know, I left myself wide-open on
this.) But suddenly, what had seemed a routine
bit of pest control w.as not. I was doing battle
with an inferior creature and he was winning.
Energized by my humiliation, I decided I
could no longer underestimate my opponent.
Rather than assume I could win I needed to
understand why I wasn’t.
And when I actually considered the
situation, it all became so simple. Move the
supply of dog food and change the bait (a
marshmallow became his last meal).
While this last bit may sound callous, please
believe I get no pleasure from his demise. But,
my house isn’t big enough foi a mouse and
me. One of us had to go.
And so far, I’m smarter.