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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2000-11-01, Page 5THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 1, 2000. PAGE 5. Other Views An idea for gnome-made pie Let us consider for a moment the humble literary device known as the oxymoron. The dictionary defines it as “a combination of contradictory or incongruous words”. Oxymorons abound in life. ‘Bittersweet’ is an oxymoron. So is ‘jumbo shrimp’, ‘pretty ugly’ and ‘student teacher’. Not to mention Civil Servant and Military Intelligence. And guess what - I’ve got a fresh-from-the- factory, mint-condition oxymoron for you: Non violent terrorism. It’s a brand new movement and at least one of the neo-radical cells that practice it is alive and thriving right here in sleepy old Canada. I refer of course to Pie-ing - the act of seeking out politicians wherever they might be and interrupting their career trajectory with a strategic cream pie. Right in the mug. Let me declare my personal bias vis-^-vis this revolutionary movement right off the top: I am totally in favour of it. I have never met and cannot imagine any political figure who would not look better with lemon meringue or Boston cream dribbling down his or her mandibles. It looked good on Jean Chretien. It would look sublime on Bill Clinton. Lucien Bouchard? Oh, s’il vous plait! Brian Mulroney? Be still, my heart. Not every one agrees, of course. Some observers still cling to the quaint, antediluvian Thoughts for Remembrance Day Ido not write an article on Remembrance Day with any degree of frequency but it occurred to me that the first such day in the new century might be a good time to correct this. Inspired in part by the moving ceremony last May when the Canadian unknown soldier was finally buried in front of the War Memorial in downtown Ottawa, I jotted down a few thoughts on the subject and would like to bring them together at this time. Although some of my students have the feeling that I was bom in the 19th century, I was actually too young to serve in the Second World War, but could well have found myself in the UN’s Korean contribution, had I been a Canadian citizen at that time. However, while I was glad to have missed it, I am even more relieved not to have seen either of my two sons go off to war, remembering as I do the Greek historian Heroditus’ famous dictum that “in peace sons bury their fathers; in war fathers bury their sons.” However, I have always been in favour of some form of military service, as part of a national service program, because I think it teaches young people something of their responsibility to their country at a time when they need to be reminded of it. This is one concept that I have brought with me from Switzerland. Swiss boys start doing military service when they are 21 and this continues each year until they are in their 50s. I am sure that, boys being boys, some may not like it, but there are a lot of things we don’t like at that age. The last time the Swiss were in any kin^of a war was in the early 19th century, when Napoleon was causing a great deal of trouble all over Europe. For Europe the Swiss avoidance of war has to be some kind of a record. Among the horrors of war are that no only do so many young men die far before thejr allotted years, but frequently many innocent civilians, both adults and children, lose their lives or are badly wounded. Add to that all the property Arthur Black notion that politics is an honourable calling and its practitioners should be accorded dignity and solemn respect at all times. Indeed, an editorial writer at the doughty Montreal Gazette goes even further: ‘‘It’s hard to figure why a few people still find humour in the shoving of pies in the faces of well-known people” the Gazette scribe grumped in a recent editorial. The headline over the rant read: “Throw a pie, do some time.” Do some time? Let me get this straight: Karla Homolka will soon be eligible for day passes but pie throwers should do jail time? Somebody should pie the Montreal Gazette editorial writer. Pie-throwing isn’t the only form of non­ violent terrorism gaining ground in Canada. There is also gnome-snatching. The practice of stealing garden gnomes has reached such a fever pitch in the town of Huntsville that the Ontario Provincial Police have issued a warning to homeowners: lock up your gnomes. And well they might. Last year more than 100 garden gnomes were snatched from Raymond Canon The International . Scene damage, and war becomes a grossly senseless way to resolve disputes. I recall vividly, in my year at a German university after World War II, the vast tracts of German cities where no building was left standing. I went to visit some of my distant relatives in that country and found that four of my five uncles had died on the Russian front, as my aunt commented, for what purpose? There was no victory to celebrate as my Canadian cousins were able to do. Even some neutral Swiss lost their lives when American bombers astoundingly mistook the city of Schaffhausen for the German city of Friedrichhafen. In fact, I recall, too, being told by one of my co-workers at NATO that in World War II one Canadian battalion had lost more men to erroneous American bombing than they had to the Germans. Many of the young boys who die in war spend their last moments on this planet far from friends and family; their last feelings are ones of terrible fear, loneliness and helplessness. Those who came back are frequently never the same. We like to honour our heroes but there are many whose heroic deeds have never been recorded or witnessed and we tend to forget all those who have been destined to a lifetime in or near a veterans’ hospital. In spite of all this, the films that glorify war far outnumber those which try to put it in its proper perspective. While we have, thankfully, been able to avoid a repeat of the two world wars in the first half of the previous century, wars are still part of our history. Just ask the people of the backyards all around town. But not for long. The gnomes showed up later sprinkled all around the local Hydro plant. Alas, we Canucks are strictly bush-league in the gnome-napping department. In France there’s an organization called Le Front de Liberation des Nains de Jardin (the Liberation Front for Garden Gnomes). These guys have been abducting the backyard grotesques since 1995 in an effort, says one of their manifestos “to cleanse the countryside of bad taste”. A splinter cell goes as far as spiriting the gnomes off to famous landmarks around the world, there to take photographs of the captives. Then they send the photos back to the original owners. Go figure. Not surprisingly (this is France, after all) a reactionary group of activists has sprung calling itself The Movement for the Emancipation of Garden Gnomes. They consider the abductors to be “kidnapping criminals” committing “acts of wanton terrorism”. The French government hasn’t asked me, but I know how they could solve this problem tout de suite. Just stage one giant police raid, scoop up all the members of the Liberation Front AND the Emancipation Movement, put 'em on a raft in the middle of the Seine and let ‘em fight it out. Cream pies at twenty paces. Congo, Cambodia, Afghanistan, Ethiopia and Eritrea to mention only a few places. It would be nice to think that the 21st century will see the abolition -of war as a means of solving our problems. Whether man’s recurring inhumanity to man will permit that remains to be seen but such an abolition should be a top priority in our global society. Letter Letters to the editor are a forum for public opinion and comment. The views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of this publication. THE EDITOR, I was disappointed in the turnout at the all­ candidates meeting held in Brussels. I wonder if people just don’t care? When taxes are raised and services cut will the people still not care? We all want a responsible government. If we don’t show interest, who will the government be responsible to? THINK ABOUT IT We’ve prided ourselves on running this town, At peak efficiency, keeping taxes down. It’s all worked well to this date, So what’s the advantage to amalgamate? To cut our costs we must get bigger, At whose expense do you figger? Foremost in all our minds, Is the quality of water we will find. Will our sidewalks still be free of snow, When all our employees are slated to go? Will our roads and sewers be cared for? Will our garbage pile up at our door? So far the decisions have been made by a few, And little information has trickled down to you. Just because it’s inevitable th^t we amalgamate, Doesn’t mean we should all sit back and wait Beth v?,'awford Brussels, Ontario. Bonnie Gropp The short of it A little too late Maybe a new moon brings the ^ame reaction as a full one. Maybe I’m just getting old and tired. But something has been happening of late that is really starting to put me on edge. At a recent all-candidates meeting, one concerned ratepayer expressed frustration that information was not getting out on amalgamation through the media. He suggested that the only news he seemed to be hearing about was from the Morris Tumberry group. First, four years ago when the issue of restructuring became a serious topic, a certainty, our staff covered meetings of the North Huron original group of 10 on an occasional basis. However, in our absence the minutes were submitted to us and included in this newspaper regularly. The problem was, as I noted time and time again on the street, people really weren’t paying attention. They either didn’t care or were too busy. Fast forward a couple of years and the lines have been drawn. Business was carried on with regards to amalgamation and the media did its best to keep abreast. The one group which consistently submitted information from meetings, which was included in this newspaper almost without fail, was the Huron East group. My colleague and I regularly provided updates from local council meetings which we attended and reported on. And at least one politician on the transition board notified us of any issues he felt needed more detailed coverage, which we usually gave. We attended public meetings, which by the way, were horrendously low in attendance, and reported on them regarding the propo als from several groups on what was planned with restructuring. Even so, now that things were moving ever closer to the new municipality I heard little about it on the street. Now, we have reached the point of no return and suddenly people have questions and uncertainties. Many of these questions and uncertainties were discussed time and again by the committees. Many have been reported in the newspaper over and over. Unfortunately, many people are just now finally starting to take notice. A letter to the editor in this week’s paper noted that “so far the decisions have been made by a few, and little information has trickled down to you.” It goes on to say that just because amalgamation is inevitable people shouldn’t sit back and wait. Folks, the issue of amalgamation has been a hot topic for at least four years. Meetings were open, anyone could have attended. Believe me, I know, because often we were there. To have sat at these meetings, done our best to give them coverage, meaning more of our time for less pay, and hear that people don’t know what’s going on is frustrating. But, worse yet, is now seeing the interest, the questions, the concerns. Armed with only some of the background information, people are listening to rumour as well as truth, fiction as well as fact. I’ve been there almost from the beginning and I’m not sure what to believe. When change is coming, especially one of this magnitude, people should be interested, they should be informed, they should be prepared. But, I’m afraid with just two months to go, it may be a little too late coming.