HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2000-07-19, Page 5THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, JULY 19, 2000. PAGE 5.
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Please get along, little dogie!
Reinember Rawhide'? Perhaps it was
before your time, it was a TV western,
really big back in the early 60s, all
about a gaggle of cowboys who drove cattle
across the west and the adventures that befell
them in the doing of it.
Rawhide was primarily notable as the debut
vehicle for a lean, squinty-eyed newcomer by
the name of Clint Eastwood.
The other thing that’s remarkable about it is
that, as a program concept, Rawhide would
never make it off the drawing board today.
Are you kidding? It was about cattle drives.
The cowpokes in the show used to whoop
and yell and wave their Stetsons and lasso
stray calves and gallop after runaways.
The theme song was a punchy, up-tempo
ditty with lyrics that went “Move 'em on, git
'em up, git 'em upanove 'em on, move 'em on,
git 'em up, Rawhiae (whip crack)’’
Wrong, wrong, All wrong. Cowboys don't
drive cattle anymore. Not in this age of caring
and empathy.
The old and evil cattle drives have been
replaced by 'holistic herding'. Also known as
'low stress livestock management’.
And how does that work exactly? Well, for
starters, the Born Again cowboys no long
whoop and holler and gallop. Instead they coo
and whisper and take extra care to make no
sudden movements that might alarm or
discomfit their four-footed charges.
Instead of 'driving’ a steer in any given
direction, the ex-cowboy-turned-emotion
counsellor gently moves into the steers
‘space’, then backs off when the steer moves
towards him.
And the animals are never, ever approached
Every country has white elephants
I’m sure that any reader can think of some
project that comes under the heading of a
white elephant. For me the prime example
in this country is Mirabel, the huge airport
northwest of Montreal which was supposed to
lead the city out of the 20th century and into
the 21st.
One of my sons and I were there one time
and in the hour we spent looking around we
watched the grand total of two aircraft take off.
Recently the government admitted failure,
not to mention pressure from the airlines and
moved all the scheduled international flights to
Dorval, where they were in the first place.
I shudder to think how many billion dollars
the whole thing cost the taxpayer.
Other countries have their white elephants
and one of the whitest is Britain and its
Millennium Dome which was recently built in
London, England with the encouragement of
the current prime minister Tony Blair. Like
Mirabel it already comes under the category of
bottomless pits with regards to money.
If the Dome has not been the subject of a
lively conversation at the supper table in your
home recently, let me bring you up to date and
you can match it with your favourite useless
project.
The Dome was designed and constructed as
a tourist attraction to show tourists as well as
the British all that was admirable about the
island country. It would, said Prime Minister
Blair, be “the greatest show on earth.”
About this time last year, while the project
was still under construction, it was predicted
that I I million visitors would drop in to see the
exhibits and even the queen was dragooned
into appearing at its opening ceremonies at the
from the rear.
You think I'm making this up, don't you.
Well, I’m not.
According to Steve Cote, a spokesman for
the U.S. Natural Resource Conservation
Service "low stress livestock handling is
changing the whole face of the west.”
I can see where if cattle had the votes, they’d
poll solidly in favour of New Age Wrangling,
but what’s in it for the cowpokes?
“It’s hard to believe at first,” says Cote, “but
the results are there for everyone to see - the
cattle are happier, healthier and more obedient
if they are not shouted at or subjected to stress.
They tend to stay together and not wander
away, and consequently life is easier for the
cowboys”.
Cote even claims that the cattle will even
accept being branded if they are talked to
gently - which I find a little hard to believe.
I've never actually had a piece of white-hot
metal bearing a rancher’s monogram slammed
into my naked haunch, but I’m pretty sure no
amount of sweet talk would persuade me that it
was a good idea. If these sensitive New Age
cowpunchers care about their cattle so much,
why don’t they deep-six the branding irons and
break out the Magic Markers?
Still, holistic herding does look like an idea
whose time has come.
Raymond
Canon
The
International
Scene
beginning of the year. She probably regrets the
day she ever set foot in it.
Despite poor advance sales, the prediction of
11 million visitors was still being trumpeted on
opening day. A month later it was reduced to
10 million but to date only two million have
passed through the turnstiles. The prediction
has now been reduced to six million, but
everyone expects that to be lowered as the year
progresses.
What about the cost, you may ask?
Well you might! TO date the elephant (oops,
project) has cost close to $2.5 billion Canadian
and the management has just gone to the
Lottery Commission which is in charge of it
for an additional $80 million. Nobody is quite
sure how long that will last.
So bad is the financial picture that, instead of
leaving it open for all of 2000, there is talk of
closing down the thing in September after the
tourist season is over. However, that will entail
breaking a lot of contracts and such an act will,
Final Thought
What’s the use? Yesterday an egg,
tomorrow a feather duster.
- Mark Fenderson
Predictably, a lot of the old ranch hands
thing it’s so much longhom puckie, but the
men who pay their salaries are singing a
different tune.
Horace Smith is a rancher who runs a 17,000
hectare spread on the Nevada/Idaho border.
“It's not easy for a lot of (the cowboys)” says
Smith, “but times are changing and they have
to change with them.”
“And,” Smith adds bluntly, “if the cowboys
don’t want to change and do it our way then we
don’t want them.”
Oh, I can see a lot of change heading due
westward. Language alone is going to have to
get a lot more sensitive. Perhaps cattle drovers
will be issued with name tags that say “Hi, I’m
Wilbur, your personal Travel Facilitator”.
'Cattle drives’ could be renamed
'ambulatory inter-species be-ins’.
And what's to be done with those macho,
decidedly uncool rodeos? Well, I suppose the
calf roping portion could be re-designated as
rotating seminars On Coping With Externally
Imposed Restraints. The bucking bronco
section might be overhauled and presented as
“Equine applications of Newtonian Physics,
or, What Goes Up Must Come Down.”
All I know is, I'm glad John Wayne moseyed
off to the Last Roundup before holistic herding
rode into town. I don’t think the Duke could
have handled the whole dadbumed concept.
But who knows? Maybe John Wayne had his
sensitive side too. After all, his real name was
Marion Morrison.
And I'm not making that up, either.
according to current estimates, run into about
one quarter to one half a billion dollars.
In much the same fashion as the Walkerton
water scandal, fingers are being pointed in all
directions. About the only thing missing is a
class action suit but that, too, may come when
British lawyers bone up on this American
creation.
Every visitor who passes through the
turnstiles has to be subsidized to the tune of
$235 which makes it a monstrous elephant if
ever there was one. As the building is only
slated to remain open for one year at the most,
it will be sold on the open market, but even the
most optimistic bids will probably not be high
enough to reduce much of this giant cost
overrun.
If there was a section in the Guiness Book of
Records for the most expensive white elephant,
both Mirable and the Dome would be
somewhere near the top, surely a dubious
honour if ever there was one.
Letter
Continued from page 4
accomplishing these goals, the plan also
promises to be affordable, simple, practical and
reliable.
1 would strongly encourage any interested
parties to make their thoughts and concerns
known. Opinions can be expressed either
directly to the Department of Agriculture and
Agn-Food, the Canadian Food Inspection
Agency or my office. Further information on
this subject can be attained through any of the
aforementioned.
Sincerely,
Paul Steckle, MP Huron-Bruce.
Bonnie
Gropp
The short of it
Finding splendour
in the grass
The other day I walked barefoot in the
grass. No big deal, you say? I would
probably be inclined to agree as there
is seldom a day ends without grass stains on
my soles. Shoes are, and always have been a
very expendable part of my wardrobe.
However, on this particular day, for some
reason instead of taking this familiar sensation
for granted, I actually found myself thinking
about it. Really focussing on what I felt. I
noted first, the cushiony padding under my
feet, its lush softness. I enjoyed a certain
tickling comfort as the soft prickliness of the
blades brushed against my skin.
There was no doubt. It felt good. Life is, I
decided splendour in the grass.
How many times from the philosophers of
life are we reminded to kick off our shoes and
walk barefoot through the grass? Walking
barefoot you are unrestrained, carefree. There
is too a naturalness, a childlike feeling of
innocence and abandon. It’s this quality that
makes it a prescription to soothe the soul, a
practice suggested to the over-worked, hassled
and harried.
Truly wise people know that life was never
better than when you were a child, when every
experience was new, when we were confined
by fewer societal rules and expectations.
Revisiting those times, whether barefoot or
other ways, can put things into their proper
perspective.
This past week I spent some time with the
child in me. It was at a favourite toy store
where people are encouraged to touch and try
out the wares. There is an eclectic mix, an
atmosphere of fun that shakes up the giggles
even in the most sedate adult.
My young friend and I giggled plenty, and 1
was back when fife was always, or at least in
retrospect, easy. Holding a Jacob's ladder in
my hand, I was suddenly seven ?ears old again.
Maybe the innocent wonder has been long
absent, but maneuvering the small blocks,
listening to the click-clack, watching them flip
flop was mindlessly mesmerizing.
And fun. Certainly not the kind of action
children today look for; my kids when I once
demonstrated how the toy works, were only
mildly interested, and this was primarily, I
assume, for my sake. Because for someone
who remembers when fun could be a stick, a
string and a muddy creek, discovering a
Jacob’s ladder is a reminder of such simple
entertainment.
And with that childlike enjoyment comes
relaxation. As it was with my barefoot journey,
I felt freer. The worries, the stresses that tend to
rise up in everyone’s life were, for this time,
gone. The nostalgia worked its magic as I
laughed at little things and found ingenuous
wonder in the items before me. I wanted to see
them all and try them all.
It was so therapeutic, I couldn’t help but
notice its effect on me. My step back to
childhood was refreshing. I truly felt younger
and certainly less hassled and harried. When I
walked out the door, I knew there was a
lightness to my step that had not been there
before.
It's a feeling you like to keep. So I got home,
kicked off my shoes and took a nice long stroll
through the grass.