The Citizen, 2000-07-05, Page 5THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, JULY 5, 2000. PAGE 5.
Other Views
Is there an
Is there an elevator in your life? There’s one
in mine. Otis. Every morning when I go to
work I stand before Otis and summon him
like Royalty.
“Stop here” I command with an imperial
punch of my index finger. “Now”.
Occasionally he does, but mostly he’s a no-
show. Otis is a public servant of sulky, sullen
disposition.
If Otis was a Grade 5 student his report card
would read, “Does not take direction well.”
Funny things, elevators. I am ancient
enough to remember when the boxy beasts
came with actual human operators. Perky
widows or wizened gents, most often,
complete with quasi-military uniforms and
white gloves. They perched on wooden stools
and operated a polished brass door handle and
a bronzed grill that fanned across the doorway
between floors.
“Second floor,” they would intone five
thousand times a day, “linens, woolens,
notions, ladies lingerie, foundation garments.”
Or something like that, depending on the
building their elevator graced.
The elevator operators are gone now, to that
limboland that is home to the ghosts of
telephone operators, stenographers and other
sundry trades that have been subsumed by
robots.
Point is, riding an elevator used to be a
humanizing experience. A chance to chew the
fat with Old Eddie or Sweet Heloise, whom
you saw a couple or six times a day and whose
life history you had a handle on.
About a trillion dollar
I picked up my newspaper at breakfast one
morning and discovered that the Canadian
economy had grown to the point where it
was producing no less than $1 trillion a year in
output. This was hailed as a great
accomplishment but news must have been a bit
slow that day since it was not exactly spelled
out just what such an achievement was
compared to.
No foreign economy measures its output in
Canadian dollars so it would be difficult to say
what that really meant. Perhaps we should
have reached that point years earlier, who
knows?
This is the sort of statistic that all countries
like to use when the urge strikes them to brag
about something. For a while we used to hear
over and over again that the United States had
the only trillion dollar economy (measured in
U.S. dollars).
What we did not hear was the fact that any
country’s growth looks much bigger than it
actually is over a period of time due to the
effect on inflation on prices.
When I arrived in Canada I recall that
gasoline cost 19 cents a gallon (or about four
cents a litre). I could go to an afternoon double
feature at the movies for 12 cents.
If you added up all the spending then, of
course it was only a shadow of its current
figure but inflation has done by far the greatest
part of the work in getting our statistics up into
the trillion dollar range. Yet inflation is not
something that countries are proud of although
some countries, including more than a few
South American ones, used to like to inflate
their way out of debt.
To show you how some comparisons are
really meaningless, let me make another one. I
have already been a millionaire twice in my
lifetime and that without winning one major
prize in a lottery or even without making a
killing on the stock market. I did that first
simply by crossing the border from Yugoslavia
into Greece and changing my Swiss francs into
elevator in your life?
Arthur
Black
And who knew yours.
And now?
Well, riding an elevator nowadays is ...
something else. A kind of suspended animation
in which certain behavioural gestures are de
rigeur.
You don’t look directly at the other
passengers. Rather you lift your eyes
heavenwards to give the impression you are
thinking great thoughts.
The hands, if empty, are crossed over the
nether regions.
Talk - if any - is excruciatingly small.
“Some weather, eh?”
“Thank goodness it’s Friday.”
There are things one could do, of course, to
enliven the thousands of elevator rides one is
condemned to endure in one’s lifetime. One
could get on first on the ground floor, wait for
the car to fill up, then burst into The Maple
Leaf Forever, briskly punching out the rhythm
on the floor buttons.
One could, in a crowd of fellow travelers,
open one’s briefcase or purse, peer in and
shout, “Getting enough air in there?”
One could, when arriving at one’s floor, leap
at the doors and attempt to claw them apart -
Raymond
Canon
The
International
Scene
Greek drachmae at the rate of about 10,000 of
the latter to one Swiss franc. In no time at all 1
was a millionaire several times over.
I do not recall any Canadian or Swiss
newspapers carrying a headline trumpeting this
“remarkable” achievement.
At any rate it felt so good that, as soon as I
was finished in Greece, I set off for Italy and
changed some more of my money. Presto! I
was a millionaire again since the rate of
exchange for the Italian Lire, while not as high
as that of the Greek drachmae, was still high
enough for me to enter the exalted club of
millionaires.
I was sadly brought back to earth when I
crossed the border back in Switzerland and
found myself once again in the category of
mere mortals. My millions melted away like
the Alpine snow in mid-summer.
But there is one current statistic for which
we should be very happy. After years and years
of deficits the current account in our balance of
payments is actually in surplus, in other words
we are not required to borrow money all the
Final Thought
No one can be perfectly free till all are
free; no one can be perfectly moral till all
are moral; no one can be perfectly happy till
all are happy.
- Herbert Spencer
then smile shamefaced when they open on
their own.
One could do any or all of these things and
more, but one won’t - because one is Canadian.
Canadians don’t do such things.
Which may help explain a recent press
release from a company called ENN.
ENN stands for — (you may want to sit
down for this) - Elevator News Network. The
name says it all.
ENN is dedicated to electrifying the
elevators of this country. So far they’ve hot
wired more than 500 elevators in Toronto,
Calgary and Vancouver.
Hot wired for what? Why to carry newscasts,
of course. Programming includes (I’m
reading from the press release) “the latest
local news, business, sports, market
updates, ferry schedules, marine reports,
ski conditions, weather and traffic
information...”
ENN is sure this is going to be a big hit with
elevator riders because, as an ENN spokesman
says, “It helps them pass the time and lets them
catch up on current events.”
Oh yeah.
The one thing I’ve been looking for to round
out my life experience is up to the minute
details on earthquakes in Chile, bombs in
Belfast, market upheavals in Tokyo,
insurrection in Africa. Massacres, floods,
plagues, plots and primaries during my
commute from Main to Floor Three.
Sorry, ENN. No offense, Otis.
But this is where I get off.
economy
time in order to finance the deficit in our
international trade and commerce.
We are currently earning about $4 billion
more than we are spending so that we can pay
back some of the earlier borrowing. What a
nice feeling after all these years of debt!
There are two good reasons for our ascent
into the surplus category, both of them
connected to our low dollar. The first is the
attraction that our country has for foreign
tourists; for most of them our prices are cheap.
The same mechanism also makes foreign
prices expensive for Canadians and so we stay
at home for holidays.
Above all that is our trade surplus. Over the
past decade we have raised the level of our
exports from 25 per cent to 40 per cent of our
total output, which has resulted in a trade
surplus of about $37 billion.
Thanks to these two factors, our level of
unemployment has not been so low in many
years and we are running the above mentioned
surplus internationally.
Statistics are fine but you have to be selective
in which ones you look at. In economics, as in
other subjects, your glass can be either half
empty or half full.
Letters
Letters to the editor are a forum for public
opinion and comment. The views expressed do
not necessarily reflect those of this
publication.
THE EDITOR,
I have read with interest the editorial of June
28 expressing concerns and opinions regarding
the present amalgamation process. The entire
process has been frustrating for all of us who
have been involved over the past four years.
I concur completely with the concerns and
opinions expressed.
Mason Bailey.
Bonnie
Gropp
The short of it
You can’t always
get what you want
It’s been a rough week for my youngest.
First, two concerts he wanted to attend
didn’t work out. Then, as if that wasn’t bad
enough, my teenager had to mow the lawn,
clean his room and when he found a good deal
on a CD he wanted discovered he didn’t have
enough money on him to buy it. The final blow
came on the one night he could have the car
and was told he had to come home early.
Believe me, I’m not having fun at his
expense. It may sound like I have little
sympathy for his troubles, but I certainly have
empathy. What was going on with him really is
similar to the trials that plague most young
people, not to mention his mother at that age.
But, for me there has been a revelation in the
decades since. Those old rock and rollers, the
Rolling Stones may have warned me in my
youth, but it took maturity at the expense of
some of my idealism to make me a believer.
You can't always get what you want.
We don’t have to be very old before this
reality strikes. However, it seems sometimes
that it takes a long time before we can accept it
with grace. Things are going to happen in life
and though we aren’t particularly happy about
them, we smile and get on with it.
Such has been the case with a certain group
of people in recent months. This past week, the
last classes of Walton Public School walked
out of its doors. Memories will linger of the
small school with a big heart in the minds of its
alumni and their families for years to come.
But what will stick with me, I think will be the
quiet dignity with which they defended their
school and community, then when the battle
was lost accepted reality and prepared for the
future.
It was and is an example of what I have come
to know about this hamlet, and for that matter
most others of its kind. Despite small numbers
they rally when necessary (Walton Hall for
example), throw a party like no others can
(Belgrave turkey supper and millennium
celebration), and work together to revive a
necessary element of their community
(Cranbrook Hall and Ethel Minor Ball). What
is lacking in population is easily made up for in
spirit.
And Walton certainly showed this from the
beginning with regards to their school. When
the government said no it couldn’t be built,
they found a way. Threatened with closure in
1979, the school survived.
And to anyone who has ever visited it, the
realization that this was a special place was
evident.
Working with the newspaper for the past 11
years, I have many times had the pleasure of
visiting the school to cover a variety of events.
I recall the first time, being struck by its
humble size, but then by its unique
personality. There was truly a sense of family,
a supportive and loving one at that. I eventually
drew the analogy of principal as gentle
matriarch, the teachers as her daughters and
the little ones the extended family of nieces
and nephews. Animosity, perversity and
contention seemed to be non-existent as the
older children usually took care of the younger
group.
Walton PS was an environment any parent
would like for their young child. Those who
had it and lost it should be applauded for their
class in letting go.