HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2000-06-14, Page 5THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, JUNE 14, 2000. PAGE 5.
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Time to get a life, webheads!
Consider, for a moment, the celestially-
vaunted phenomenon we call the World
Wide Web.
It's been touted as the greatest technological
breakthrough since the discovery of fire, the
wheel and possibly Bobby Hull’s hair
transplant.
Now consider the White Mana Diner on
Tonnele Avenue just outside of Jersey City,
New Jersey. It is not a thrilling diner, even as
diners go. but even so, it is firmly entrenched
on the World Wide Web. Any evening you can
eschew the pleasures of a good book, a walk in
the park or making love with your sweetie and
go instead to your computer and type in
www.njo.com/dinercam.
In moments, your monitor screen will
blossom with a clasp image of the White Mana
Diner. You will see semi drivers and diesel
mechanics opening the door, doffing their ball
caps and bellying up to the counter. You will
see, by way of background, an unending
anaconda of cars and trucks flying by on
Tonnele Avenue. You will see, if he’s on shift,
Bob Burke, King of the Spatula as he greases
the griddle, slaps down patties and flips them
to perfection.
I know what you’re wondering. You’re
wondering why the hell anyone would
bother to punch up Diner Cam and watch
something just a little more vital than a test
pattern.
Beats me, chum. But people do it.
Fourteen thousand people a day do it.
“A guy from China called,” says Mario
Not universally popular in Brazil
Canadians can generally accept the fact
that they are not disliked too much
throughout the world. We assume that
our external affairs, both in diplomacy and
commerce, are conducted with decorum and
evenhandedness and have, therefore, no
equivalent of the “Ugly American” that is so
often thrown in our neighbours’ face.
That is generally true but I can tell you about
one country right now that thinks that Canada
has anything but the above mentioned
characteristics. That country is Brazil and it all
revolves around the construction of twin-
engined commercial aircraft.
I have told you on occasion about the
success story of Bombardier, the maker of
snowmobiles which has graduated, in a very
short period of time, into the number three
producer of commercial jet aircraft.
What I did not tell you is that number four is
Brazil and they make just about the same kind
of aircraft; in other words they compete head-
on with Canada.
The Brazilian company, Embraer, has been
told three times by the World Trade
Organization that it is offering illegal subsidies
on aircraft which it is selling on world markets.
So far it has refused to do anything except, of
course, to appeal the WTO ruling. It would, it
said, be willing to withdraw the subsidies from
future sales but it refuses to remove the
subsidies that it offered on aircraft already
sold.
As if the situation was not nasty enough to
begin with, it got worse when the Canadian
government was told by the WTO that it could
carry out retaliatory measures against the
Brazilians, if they did not obey the ruling.
Canada did just that, in a manner that would
have made the French or Americans proud.
They published a list of imported Brazilian
goods worth about $700 million a year which
would be blocked for the next five years.
This made the Brazilians sit up and take
notice and they are now wondering what they
Arthur
Black
Costa, the owner. “He thought only
McDonald’s makes hamburgers. He wanted
me to show him a hamburger. So we held one
up to the camera.”
“They’ll call from Texas. They’ll want you
to wave. That’s it. Then they hang up. I guess
it makes them happy or something.”
And it’s not an isolated phenomenon. Take
the case of the Cambridge Coffee Pot.
A bunch of scientists working at Cambridge
University were frustrated a while back. Too
many times they doffed their lab coats and
hiked over to the common lunch room, only to
find the coffee pot bone dry.
Being scientists, they jerry-rigged a
technological solution. They set up a camera,
trained it on the coffee pot, then hooked it up
to the Internet so that when they were in their
lab and felt the need for a caffeine fix, they
could check, via the computer, to see if there
was any coffee in the pot.
A fast, cheap and simple solution for the
dozen or so java-addicted Cambridge scientists
- but why is it that others are visiting the
Cambridge Coffee Pot site?
And when I say ‘others’ I mean hundreds of
thousands of visitors each week.
Raymond
Canon
The
International
Scene
can do to Canadian firms that have invested in
their country.
Some of the blocked goods listed are shoes,
fruit, coffee, terry cloth, steel and industrial
parts used in manufacturing. In short, you can
see the beginnings of something that normally
takes place whenever there is a trade war: the
consumer gets hits hard.
To cite one example, I would imagine that
many of my readers have, at one time or
another, bought a pair of shoes made in Brazil.
To the Brazilians, such retaliation is
tantamount to using a shotgun to kill a fly and
the WTO is to rule on whether this Canadian
counter-measure is adequate or exorbitant.
In the meantime some cooler heads on both
sides are starting to enter the picture and it
remains to be seen if their views will prevail or
whether we will have a full-fledged trade war
on our hands.
I should point out that Bombardier and the
Canadian government are not innocent in this
realm of under-the-table payments. Ottawa got
its knuckles rapped for subsidizing
development costs of Bombardier jets but the
WTO deemed that to be less sinful than the
Brazilian action.
In any case Ottawa has taken action to
Final Thought
Whoever is happy will make others happy
too. He who has courage and faith will never
perish in misery!
- Anne Frank
Firing up their computers so they can watch
a coffee pot.
Webgeekdom is flourishing this side of the
border too. Last month the news came out that
employees in the Canadian Department of
Fisheries and Oceans aren’t spending all their
time counting trout fingerlings and salmon fry.
An analysis of internet use by federal
fisheries workers right across the country
shows that at least 10 per cent of internet traffic
is to sites that are, as the analysis snootily puts
it “clearly not work-related”.
No kidding.
The analysis shows that popular destinations
for bored Fissures workers include NHL,
football and baseball sites, the Sony
Playstation Web Page and (surprise, surprise)
pom websites.
As a matter of fact a one-week in-depth
survey found that, on average, there were about
seven visits every day to sex and dating web
sites - for each of the department’s staff of
10,000.
I’m shocked and appalled, do you hear?
Shocked and appalled.
The bright side - if there is one - is that at
least our Canadian webgeeks haven’t sunk to
visiting Jersey diners or Cambridge coffee
pots.
But it’s still pretty pathetic.
Philosopher Marshall MacLuhan once
predicted that communications technology
would turn our planet into a Global Village.
Not quite, Marshall.
More like a Global Playpen.
comply with the WTO ruling.
In a totally different case Canada is also
retaliating against the European Union for
banning Canadian hormone-treated beef, after
the Europeans were told not to do this by the
same WTO.
All in all it means that the trade boys at
External Affairs in Ottawa are busy people
these days. Trade relations are not all wine and
roses these days; just as often as not it is a case
of whine and rose thorns.
Writer supports
Alliance Party
Continued from page 4
didn’t choose to include that gave the lie to the
position that they were trying to make.
It is undeniable that there have been, and
may be still, extremists in the Alliance. To
brand the entire Party as intolerant right wing
radicals is to say that all anti-abortionists are
murderers of abortionists.
I suspect the truth is that there is
considerable discomfort over the success that
the former Reform party has achieved. It is not
a new thing, either, to take pot-shots at people
who identify themselves as evangelical
Christians, as Preston Manning and others in
the Party do, and dare to take a stand on
matters of principle and conscience. That is
Considered by the intolerant to be intolerance,
of course.
Should the day come when these “bigots will
be running the government, fomenting their
poison ...” I suspect that it will not be because
the Canadian populace is so desperate to see
any alternative to the governing Liberals; give
Canadians a little credit, please. I will welcome
such a day and I will not be ashamed to have
them govern “in my name."
Jim Carne
RR2, Clarksburg, ON
Bonnie
Gropp
The short of it
Yes, Mr. Shakespeare,
the world is a stage I sit, surrounded by strangers, cramped in
my seat my nose assailed by a mix of
odours, some overpowering, some
pleasant, some very much not so. My head
aches with the beginning of a cold, my eyelids
are heavy from lack of sleep. I am pettily
annoyed by the extremely obese woman beside
me, the constant cuddling of the teenagers in
front of me, whose joined-at-the-head pose
obscures my view, and by the running
commentary of the elderly woman behind me.
Then the house lights dim, the stage lights
come up and to paraphrase Mr. Shakespeare
for me the play is now the only thing.
It is testament to the entertainment value of
theatre that what is happening before me can
generally distract me from the annoyances
which often accompany being in the company
of a crowd of strangers. There will be duds, but
typically a commanding performance, the
language and themes of a well-crafted script,
the visual beauty encourage my focus. I am
able to forget that I am not at home enjoying
La-Z- Boy comfort, an audience of one for the
talents of so many.
Unfortunately, the other evening, despite the
play's many compelling attributes, outside
influences eventually became too much,
insinuating themselves into my enjoyment of
the production. It became more of a struggle to
shut them out than to acknowledge them so
that by the second half I had come to anticipate
the play-by-play behind me and wondered
exactly how far the young paramours seated
before me would take their love scene.
Again, in the words of Mr. Shakespeare, "All
the world is a stage" and it was playing out all
around me.
Challenged to remain centred on the actual
production, my attentions zig-zagged between
stage and audience. The former gave me a
glimpse of grief so intense as to drive one to
madness. There was passion, melodrama and
humour.
The latter also had passion and melodrama,
the ingenuous teens caught up in the wonder of
young love, the need to touch, oblivious to a
world around them, little suspecting that that
ferocity of feeling is seldom forever. There was
madness in my real drama as well, for why else
would any rational person speak out loud
during a live production?
And there was humour everywhere — the
50ish woman with the multi-hued punk rock
hair-do, the young girl struggling to come up
the steps in her spandex, very-mini mini skirt,
the professorial fellow earlier overheard
expounding his devotion to anything
Shakespeare, now snoozing in his seat.
Thus, having gotten over my annoyance by
falling back on another favourite pastime —
people watching — something struck me. I do
love a good theatrical production However,
society is such an interesting, eclectic mix of
humanity it occurred to me that for true live
theatre you need only look at life. People are so
interesting and our lives full of dramas, mini
and very, very real. We love, we laugh. We are
capable of wonderful acts, deeds of good will.
We also harbour a dark side, most often kept
hidden, but at times allowed to break through.
Watch anyone and you can’t help but think
righF*again, Mr. Shakespeare, the world is a
stage and all we men and women merely
players.