HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2000-06-07, Page 5THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, JUNE 7, 2000. PAGE 5.
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And the winner —by a hair
In case you haven’t noticed, there’s a
presidential election campaign brewing
south of the border.
I'm no fan of political campaigns, American
or Canadian. But this particular one raises a
thorny question no matter which side of the
49th you happen to live on, namely: how does
one go about choosing a winning president or
prime minister? Just how does one decide
which candidate is most worthy of one’s vote?
Do you cast your ballot based on a
candidate’s platform?
Religious affiliation?
Voting record?
Political oratory?
How about this for a premise - the guy with
the most hair wins.
It’s a depressing thought - especially for
those of us whose extended foreheads
automatically relegate us to the position of
also-rans.
The statistics are even more depressing.
Check the record books, chum.
Simply put, every single elected American
president since John F. Kennedy (and most
certainly including JFK) has served out his
term of office while operating under a full and
healthy head of hair.
What’s that I hear you say? Lyndon Johnson
was a baldie? Gerald Ford’s head had more
pelt than pink?
My inquiry about gasoline
While the federal and provincial
governments are carrying out their
own public investigations into
possible price fixing in the petroleum industry,
I have been quietly carrying out one of my own
and at no expense to the taxpayer. Since you
and I both know what will be the findings of
the two above mentioned commissions, you
can match what they have to say with what I
have come up with.
As I indicated in a previous article on the
subject, there is little doubt that gasoline prices
have had to increase, given the risk in crude oil
prices which have been put through by OPEC,
the “would-be” international oil cartel.
However, OPEC does not control nearly the
70 per cent of all production that it did when it
first made itself felt in 1973. Today its figure is
something just a little over half of that.
In reality, therefore, it does not have the
clout that it did then. That in itself should tell
us something and that is that the non-OPEC
producers have gone along with the increase.
Of the three major oil companies in Canada,
two of them, Imperial Oil (Esso) and Shell are
truly international in scope while the third,
PetroCan, used to be publicly owned but has
now become privatized, with partial Canadian
and partial foreign ownership. Since it, in spite
of its Canadian origins, acts just like the other
two, let’s consider that the three are all cut
from the same cloth.
Canada is an oil producer but the oil that the
three use to make gasoline for the Canadian
market is obtained partially from foreign
sources and partially from domestic weils.
However, and here is where the going gets
murky, the price from both OPEC and non-
OPEC sources is just about the same which
leads to the impression that there is, as I
suggested above, an unofficial (for
“unofficial” read “under the table”) agreement
on prices by all producers, not just those
belonging to OPEC.
Since oil costs different prices at different
sources to extract, there is NO one price for oil
that governs our gasoline prices. The industry
just uses a couple of benchmark prices, either
True. But LBJ and Dumbo were appointed to
the Oval Office -1 said every elected president
since JFK was hairy.
And it's undeniable when you think of it.
John F. Kennedy had industrial strength hair.
Tricky Dick Nixon could just barely keep
ahead of his five o’clock shadow. Ronald
Reagan pretty much built an entire political
(and Hollywood) career on what grew
naturally out of his scalp.
And Bill Clinton?
Clinton carries more natural roof thatch than
Ann Hathaway’s cottage.
As for the next resident of the White House,
well, that’s not entirely clear. It looks like its
down to George Dubya Bush and Al Gore.
Dubya sports the traditional right wing
Republican low forehead, while Al Gore
(despite a tiny sand trap at the rear) has more
overall head foliage than a Chia pet on
steroids. On the basis of hair, any objective
observer would have to call that contest a
draw.
Raymond
Canon
The
International
Scene
one set in Texas or one in the North Sea, to go
along with “official” OPEC price.
One thing I did was try to track the given
world price for oil and compare it with the
price that we have been paying at the
pump. Other than the fact that the prices
both fluctuate and are both higher than
they were last year, I could find no real
correlation.
Nor is it clear why the price is generally
higher in Sarnia, within sight of the oil
refineries, than it is in, say, Blyth or
Kincardine. I have been unable to find any
“realistic” explanation for this. The talk from
the oil companies about competition, etc. is
just that, a lot of talk.
Why should a price jump five cents a litre in
one day? Why should all the gas stations in the
immediate vicinity all jump at the same time
Letters to the Editor
Letters to the editor are a forum for public opinion and comment. The views expressed do not
necessarily reflect those of this publication.
THE EDITOR,
The TH&VS Homecoming Reunion
Committee want to deliver a very important
message to all Timmins High & Vocational
School alumni that the deadline date for
registration is fast approaching. We have a
wonderful lineup of events including the Wine
and Cheese Evening in the Park, Dinner,
Dance and Family BBQ. We are all looking
forward to seeing you at the reunion. You had
to register by June 1 to guarantee a spot at the
dinner. The reunion is scheduled to run from
Aug. 3 - 5.
But how about here in Canada? How do the
Hair Sweepstakes work on this side of the
border?
Well, Pierre Trudeau, while clearly follically
challenged, managed to maintain a sporty
Caesarean comb over for his time in office.
John Turner had a fine silvery pelt on his pate.
Joe Clark may have been chin-deprived, but he
never lacked for hair. Brian Mulroney had a
plethora of well-oiled locks to complement his
oleaginous tongue.
Jean Chretien? Well his hair looks like it was
plucked out of a teddy bear and superglued on
his dome as an afterthought, but all the same,
no one would ever call Chretien bald.
As for the future PM of Canada, well, we’ve
got three also-rans and three newcomers at the
starting gate. There's Chretien, an ever-hopeful
Paul Martin, and Joe Clark - all three of whom
have adequate head fur.
And we’ve got the trio of would-be political
kneecappers - Manning, Day and Long - all
three of whom have ... equally adequate head
fur. There doesn’t seen to be any particular
pellicular advantage. It’s pretty much a dead
heat.
Since all candidates are, in terms of head
yam, equal, perhaps we’ll have to investigate
a different talisman of greatness.
Such as what, if anything, lies under those
forelocks.
and by the same amount?
Certainly not all the oil companies have
exactly the same production costs. No answer
to that either, at least none that makes any
sense.
I think you will agree with me that the
frequent change in prices, and dramatic ones at
that, effectively remove any feel the consumer
might have as to what the true price of gasoline
is. When you have consumers totally confused,
the way is open for a company to play around
with prices, to the company’s advantage, of
course.
Don’t hold your breath waiting for the
government “inquiries” to find any difference.
Just remember that, as the price of gasoline
goes jp, so does the government take in the
form of tax levied at the pump. All this means
it is something like a fox doing a survey of
living conditions in the henhouse.
Since all the companies are playing the same
game, there is no way to take our business
somewhere else. We are simply hostages.
Unless, of course, we find an alternative mode
of transportation that does not rely on the oil
companies.
Mule trains, anybody?
I wonder if my glider licence is still valid?
Former students of Timmins High and
Vocational School interested in attending,
should consider this an invitation to register
today for the millennium event of the year.
Registrations can be obtained at the postal
address or e-mail address listed below.
Sincerely,
P. Toffanello, Principal TH & VS
451 Theriault Blvd.,
Timmins, ON P4N 8B2
Phone 705-360-1411
Fax 705-268-6603
email: http://www.tbe-edu.com/th&vs/
Bonnie
short of it
Growing older
needn’t be all bad
Growing up was fun, but growing older
isn’t. At least that’s what I've
generally assumed.
Certainly, the reality of aging is not one most
of us would pick given a choice. But it is, those
same folks would agree, preferable to the
alternative.
Those who know me, know I am an
introspective sort of gal. I think a lot. About
life, about me, about my family. I don’t know
if it’s my age or my conscience, but one thing
has been very much on my mind of late —
time. First I think it’s passing fast, then I wish
it weren’t. Finally, I realize there isn’t much I
can do about it.
And as there is little point in fighting it, I’ve
decided to if not embrace it, then allow middle
age some grudging acceptance. After all. this
getting old does, it seem, come with some
perks. There is the famous discount for
everything from coffee and muffins to the
more practical prescription medication. There
is retirement and the freedom this will
hopefully invite.
I know I speak strictly from perception, but
it appears to me that people make less demands
on you when you’re older. Being the youngest
in my family, I look with no small degree of
envy at those ahead of me. Mom and Dad are
sitting pretty, off to the trailer in the summer,
no one asking too much of their time. They
have arrived at the place, blessedly in relative
good health where they preside over family
from a spot of honour.
Big sister and her husband are semi-retired,
family complete for the time being, at least
until grandchildren get older. They travel,
enjoy each other’s company and see their kids
enough to keep themselves happy. Big brother
and his wife though still working hard, seem
content in their life away from young kids and
the accompanying worries.
All this is not to say that they are thrilled to
be living in empty nests or that I’m eagerly
awaiting it. Au contraire. This is just looking
for the silver lining.
The other thing about admitting age is that I
think it’s better for you. For example my hubby
has always been a workhorse, but continues to
go at tasks with the energy of a kid. As he notes
with shock that he’s suffering later from aches
and pains, I can’t help thinking that if he were
to take on a job with a slower, but steady pace
more befitting a 40-something fellow, he’d
hurt less and feel, at worst, his age. Instead by
pretending he’s 20 he feels 80. Actually, some
days, I think my Mom and Dad hurt less than
he does.
They say that age is a state of mind. If you
think you’re young then you will feel young.
I’m not sure that perhaps this sage advice
shouldn’t come with an addendum, a warning
that it not be taken too literally. Certainly,
thinking young is a good way to stay vital and
young at heart. People who enjoy life, who live
it and experience it in every possible way do
tend to stay young.
But with age comes limitations. We might be
able to slow the process, but generally what
was sharp may dull, what was fast may slow.
Acknowledge it, then accept what it means and
growing old can be if not as much fun as
growing up, then at least one more milestone to
enjoy.