HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2000-03-01, Page 5Arthur Black
Coffee, tea, or none
of the above?
Anybody got work out there for an airplane
captain? An ex-airplane captain, actually.
Worked for Northwest Airlines for 22 years,
right up until that fateful day last November,
when, sitting in the cockpit of his Boeing 727,
waiting in line to take off from Las Vegas to
Detroit — he finally cracked.
It was the in-flight meal that did it. The
stewardess brought two trays forward into the
cockpit, one for the captain, the other for his
co-pilot.
The captain peeled back the tinfoil, took one
look, hung up his earphones and got off the
plane.
Not only got off the plane, but called for a
taxi, took the taxi from the airport to a nearby
restaurant, ordered a meal to go, and then
taxied back to his plane. His passengers were
not amused, and neither were his superiors,
who sacked him for 'conduct unbecoming' etc.
But that’s gotta be the last word on airline
food: so bad even the staff won’t eat it.
Now it must be said that, next to
Revenue Canada and lawyers, dissing airline
food is the cheapest laugh you can get.
Everybody has' a one-liner about those
unidentifiable globs of gorp and goo they
serve on planes.
Question: Why do they serve alcohol on
airplanes?
Answer: So you won’t mind the meal.
Arf, arf.
International Scene
Free trade - Some
misconceptions
All too often free trade falls into the highly
controversial category with the result that
fiction becomes more predominant than fact.
With the assumption that a little learning can
be a dangerous thing, let’s see if we can leam
a bit more about what free trade is and, more
importantly, isn’t.
First and foremost what most people mean
when they mention free trade is not free trade
at all but trade liberalization. We are not yet at
those pearly gates of free trade; we still have a
long way to go although you may be interested
to know that, even before Canada was formed
as a nation, there was a great debate about
liberalizing trade with the U.S.
The modern free trade movement started
back in the late 1940s with the Bretton Woods
agreement the intention of which was to get
the world back on track after the ravages of
World War II.
Led by the GATT organization (General
Agreement on Tariffs and Trade) we saw a
gradual reduction in tariff barriers between
nations until, by the late 1980s, about 75 per
cent of all goods crossing the U.S. - Canada
border did so without any tariff whatsoever.
Keep in mind that free trade means no
barriers, neither tariff nor non-tariff. Not only
do we have a few tariffs left; there are still
plenty of non-tariff barriers very much in
evidence. Neither GATT, nor its successor, the
World Trade Organization (WTO) have ever
really got around to discussing that second
vital aspect.
Even before Canada signed the free trade
agreement with the U.S. in 1989, opposition
\
Well, as Sam Goldwyn said, include me out.
I happen to - are you sitting down? - like
airplane food.
When I’m flying from Vancouver to Sheep
Butt, Wyoming and- some smiling stranger is
kind enough to offer me a complimentary
meal, I say “Sure! You bet!” — with tears of
gratitude welling up in my eyes.
When the Mystery Tray comes I invariably
vacuum up every morsel in front of me -
what’s more, if the passenger next to me leaves
that wedge of Styrofoam pie on his tray -1 ask
for that too.
For two reasons: Number one: I’m not fussy.
From a reserved banquette at a five star
restaurant to a counter stool in a back alley
beanery, I never met a meal I didn’t like.
Number two: I eat the airplane meal out of
respect for technology. Are you kidding? I’m
in a giant aluminum cigar tube, 36,000 feet in
the air, going 400 miles an hour over the
Rockies, the temperature outside is minus 40,
I’m about to watch a movie AND I get a hot
meal for free? Of course I take it.
Even if I can’t tell what the main course is
trying to be.
A hundred years-ago the only way to get
from Vancouver to Wyoming was on foot,
swatting at black flies and gnawing on a chunk
of frozen pemmican. I consider the preparation
and presentation of a cooked meal, complete
with coffee and dessert, five miles straight up
over Red Deer, Alberta to be an act of pure,
unadulterated magic.
And it’s only the beginning! Aeronautics is
an industry that grows in gallops.
By Raymond Canon
started to mount. The federal Liberal party,
because they happened to be in opposition at
the time, gave strong vocal condemnation
sincefhey were opposing anything that Brian
Mulroney proposed. There were also strong
protests from the unions and such people as
Maude Barlow, who all too often seems to
display a siege mentality.
However, in one of the most miraculous
conversions since Saul was on the road to
Damascus, the Liberals, once they arrived
back in power, espoused free trade with such
profound enthusiasm that one might be
excused for thinking that they had invented it.
When you have been in the world of
international economics as long as I have, you
look with suspicion at any miracle economic
cure for what ails us and I am a bit wary of
those who promote trade liberalization
unreservedly. However, the concept of free
trade has been around since the time of Adam
Smith and David Ricardo in the 18th century.
It was, in fact, the latter who established the
principle of comparative advantage, which
shows how nations can benefit from trading
with each other rather than trying to be self-
sufficient. To my mind, nobody who' is
currently opposing the deliberations of the
WTO has ever disproved this theory and so it
stands as a cornerstone of the mechanisms
which tends to increase world prosperity.
Of course there are flies in the ointment but
I am not sure why protest groups targeted the
WTO, especially at its recent meeting in
Seattle. First of all, it is the WTO who
liberalizes trade, not restricts it. So, if you
want to protest, go to Ottawa. Washington,
Paris, Tokyo or London where trade
restrictions are conceived.
Let’s take one example. (There are many).
Yesterday, we were flying in propeller-
driven planes with canvas wings. Today we
can fly across the Atlantic in our shirtsleeves,
sipping Bloody Mary’s and watching Brad
Pitt.
As for the future? Hey, it can only get better!
I can visualize an aircraft about to take
off a hundred years from now. Flight
attendants are long gone, replaced by cheery
and efficient robots that scuttle up and down
the aisle.
The aircraft will be piloted by computers the
sophistication of which we can’t begin to
imagine. The flight will take off so smoothly
we won’t even know we’re in the air. Not until
a comforting mechanical voice begs our
attention and makes the standard in flight
announcement: “Good evening, ladies and
gentlemen, and welcome aboard GatesAir
flight 1798. Our flying time to Rio de Janeiro
will be precisely 11 minutes and 29 seconds.
In the meantime, relax and let our cyberstews
cater to your every whim.
“And those of you who might be the
slightest bit worried about flying with
GatesAir (the world’s first all mechanical
airline) can relax in peace, knowing that this
flight is absolutely free from the possibility of
human error. Every detail of the flight -
altitude, cabin pressure, course corrections,
takeoff and landing — is continuously
monitored by- state-of-the art computer
dircuitry, providing you with a worry-free
flight, secure in the knowledge that absolutely
nothing can go wrong ... go wrong ... go
wrong ...”
The WTO is often accused of ignoring
“unfair” labour practices and human rights in
Third World countries. Well, Mexico, among
others, has constantly claimed that trying to
impose higher labour standards on it
constitutes a “barrier to free trade” for
countries whose competitive advantage in the
global economy is cheap labour. The
Mexicans look upon unions who champion
such rights as just trying to protect their own
jobs in, say, the automobile industry in Canada
and the U.S,; this is what economists call
“exporting our unemployment.”
If “unfair labour practices” are your bag, try
the United Nations or the International Labour
Organization.
And so it goes.
I think you can see by now that the whole
concept of trade liberalization is not a black
and white issue. There are shades of grey all
over the place. The question is how you can
best introduce trade liberalization policies that
have proven beneficial effects.
Of course there are going to be side effects,
there always are. However, when you have a
lot of pressure groups screaming and yelling,
in effect saying that the WTO can do anything
it wants as long as it does not affect adversely
a specific pressure group, it makes the task
infinitely harder.
That came out crystal clear at Seattle since
the delegations themselves could not even
agree on an agenda. In short, the ones outside
waving placards and yelling were not the only
protesters.
As in many things the truth lies somewhere
in the middle. Abolishing free trade or giving
it unbridled freedom at the present time will
not do the trick. Let’s make a little better effort
to see where that truth lies.
THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, MARCH 1, 2000. PAGE 5.
The
Short
of it
By Bonnie Gropp
Welcome noise
It was an exhausting weekend, but the gbod
kind. It did, however, prompt my eldest
daughter to remark that she needed to go back
to her apartment for a rest. “It’s easier and
quieter. There’s less going on.”
That the comment made me smile was an
understatement. Having been a very young
mother I don’t remember ever knowing the
luxury of solitude. Children have been part of
my life for almost a third of my life. As a
result, or strictly for survival, I have learned to
absorb the noise as effectively as if I was
styrofoam.
That said... with only two grown teenagers
still under my roof full-time (sort of), I have
had to come to terms with realities which until
recently I had been unfamiliar — quiet and
nothing going on.
Yet, as is so often the case it can be all or
nothing. I pointed out to my daughter that the
confusion of this weekend, had been brought
on in part because they were there. Oh, yes,
and the arrival of the dog they got me, though
I love her to pieces, certainly has upset the
tranquility of the household, too.
As we get older our families move away,
our nest as we know it gets empty. But when
the birds fly home, their numbers have
multiplied. They bring friends, fiancees and as
was the case this weekend, children.
Our little grandson visited us and I had
forgotten that this particular bit of heaven
could be so tiring. This angel was as perfect
as sunshine after a dreary week. But he was
still a baby and ngw to our home. I found
myself constantly stopping what I was doing
to take a peek at him. Though he enjoyed a
good sleep through the night I did not,
sleeping with one eye and one ear on alert in
case he made a sound of wakefulness.
But despite this I was also reminded how
much I love babies. I am awed by new life at
its newest point. It is not just about being
needed by someone so desperately. It is, well,
everything.
I know there are those who do not share my
infatuation, preferring children to be a little
more animated than they are as infants. But
from their enchanting scent to the first
bubbling giggle, I am enthralled.
Perhaps it comes down to my controlling
nature. To be so needed, so necessary to
someone’s existence is heady. And with
grown children running here and there, the
idea of actually setting a child down and
knowing they are going to stay there until I go
to get them is a real delight.
But I think the attraction is much more
utopic, being life-affirming rather than about
power. Watching the growth and development
of something new is always satisfying. Seeing
the innocence of blessed new life is
revitalizing, its purity a reminder of all that is
good.
Most of all, however, at least for me, the
presence of a newborn is continuity in the
most beautiful way. Mitchell’s arrival to a
home wheje little children have been too long
gone has filled much more space than is
physically possible. So yes, while my home
was a busy spot this past weekend, full of
comings and goings, it was welcome noise
and confusion. It was good to have a house
full of family and our newest arrival ensures
those times are going to keep coming.