HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2000-02-09, Page 13THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 9, 2000. PAGE 13.
Independence key to success of 60-year marriage
For life
Lyle and Alice Brothers have definitely shown they know
what commitment means. The couple celebrated 60 years
of wedded bliss in December, and remain what they have
always been each other’s best friend.
By Bonnie Gropp
Citizen staff
Marriages begin full of hopes and
dreams, a time when rose-coloured
glasses seem the only way to view
what lies ahead. But life has a way of
interceding and its challenges can
test even the strongest relationships.
Yet, today when 50 per cent of all
marriages end in divorce there are
couples who have maintained the
magic.
Alice and Lyle Brothers of
Brussels recently celebrated 60 years
together. Perhaps more importantly
they remain what they have always
been — each other’s best friend.
“What I think is the biggest thing
about a successful marriage is com
promise,” says Alice.
“Oh, yeah, we do fight,” says Lyle
with a smile. “But it’s cleared up in a
couple of hours and a few days later
we have no idea what we were fight
ing about.”
It’s difficult to imagine this
sprightly pair engaged in a marital
skirmish. Charmingly affable, witty
and genuine they exude calm opti
mism even when discussing adversi
ty. Life for them has not been with
out its trials but they have survived
intact.
It was two teenagers who met that
summer of 1932. Lyle had moved to
Brussels with his brother who had
opened a jewellery business. One
night some old friends from
Ushers
Continued from page 12
Ushers are generally brothers,
brothers-in-law, other close
relatives or friends of the groom.
The ushers usually attend all the
pre-wedding parities the groom is
invited to.
Like the bridesmaids, they are
responsible for providing their own
clothing for the wedding. Often
this clothing is rented. The groom
generally provides their bouton
nieres, gloves and neckwear.
Listowel, who now lived in the vil
lage invited the two boys for supper.
There that evening too was Alice
Pope.
“I think maybe they were fixing us
up,” admits Alice today.
While it may not have been sparks”
at first, spark plugs certainly played
a part in their hitting it off. “My
other brother had given me his old
car. Alice got in and stayed there,”
LyJe teases.
“Well, it wasn’t everyone who had
cars back then,” says his bride.
Because of their tender years, the
couple in those early days was not
envisioning happily ever after. But
by 1939, and still together, they were
ready to tie the knot. The proposal,
said Alice, took a little prompting,
however.
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granted after awhile. You plan to get
married but there is never really a
proposal. I made him go through the
ritual. He was very embarrassed. I
even made him ask my dad.”
Her diamond, she says, was from
her future brother-in-law’s store. “It
was one that wasn't selling,” she
says.
With war looming, the couple
shifted their planned June wedding
date to Dec. 27, 1939. “Two days
after Christmas is a terrible time to
be married,” says Alice.
Lyle, now 21, and Alice, 22, were
married at a London parsonage by
Rev. Moorehouse whom the bride
had known before. The honeymoon
trip was to New York to see Lyle’s
“favourite” brother. “The one who
gave him the car,” explains Alice.
It didn’t take long for the blush of
newlywed existence to be dimmed
by reality. That spring, the groom
left to begin his stint in the army. For
his young wife it was a time of
acceptance. “So many were joining
up it was just part of theJi testy le.”
Unlike others, however, their sepa
ration was fortunately short-lived.
As a watchmaker Lyle’s expertise
made him valuable at home and he
was sent on a course to learn how to
repair anti-aircraft devices. The fur
thest he got from home was Quebec
and as his services might be needed
any time he couldn’t stay on bar
racks. “I was told to bring my wife
and find a place to live.”
The Brotherses rented a room from
a family and a bond was formed. The
wife, Alice says, couldn’t speak a
word of English and the husband
could speak very little French.
Despite this they had remained
together happily and raised a family
of 10 children. “We learned a lot
from them about compromise and
giving in. They had quite an influ
ence on us.”
After one stillborn birth, in 1944
the young couple celebrated the
arrival of their daughter Darlene.
When the war ended they returned to
Brussels and after a stint in Wroxeter
where Lyle owned a jewellery busi
ness, moved to Toronto. Alice
brought her love of music to a career
teaching piano and playing the organ
at church.
They retired to Brussels two
decades ago.
Their lives have been touched with
sorrow. Complications in a third
pregnancy resulted in the stillborn
death of one twin, while the other
was severely handicapped. “Dolores
was not hard to look after. She was
like a little baby and as long as she
was fed and clean she was happy,”
said Alice.
Dolores passed away when she
was 10.
Five years ago encephalitis
claimed their daughter Darlene.
(They have a daughter Nancy and
three grandchildren.)
Despite challenges their devotion
to each has remained strong. He calls
her McGee, she calls him Daddy.
Arm-in-arm or hand-in-hand they
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enjoy their daily walks and trips to
church and friends.
Yet, while enjoying their special
bond and committed to their partner
ship, they also believe independence
has kept it strong. “It is most impor
tant to have your own thoughts and
interests and follow through,” says
Alice. “We are together almost
always now, but it wasn’t always that
way.”
Supportive of each other’s inter
ests, Alice notes that her hobbies
often took her off on her own. “That
I was able to do that made things
nice. It’s important to have a life of
one’s own as well as the together
ness.”
The best advice for young couples
starting out today? “Be yourself, be
together, but not in each other’s
pockets.”