HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2003-04-30, Page 10PAGE 10. THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 30, 2003.
Parent shares personal experience with ADHD
A different drummer
Having Attention Deficit/Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) can
result in feelings of isolation as those afflicted are often
misunderstood. They are often accused of laziness and not
listening. Undiagnosed and untreated it can be, one expert
says, “a crappy life” (Ashley Gropp photo)
By Bonnie Gropp
Citizen editor
In the early part of his life Mike
was not so different from any other
high-energy, bright boy. As a
teenager he found himself sitting in a
jail cell.
For his parents, Alan and Nancy
Walker, the years from their middle
son’s childhood to now have been a
frustrating morass of normalcy,
volatility and Attention Deficit
Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD).
Until Grade 8, Nancy says Mike,
the middle of their three sons, who is
now in his late teens, seemed like
most other boys his age, albeit one
perhaps a little more excitable, a
little less focussed. But in his final
year of elementary,school, the first
signs of the nosedive his life would
eventually take began. “He and his
teacher didn’t get along and it was
clearly affecting his self-esteem.”
“These clients know instinctively
they are different,” says Nancy
Sweiger, an ADHD counsellor who
has been working with Mike for a
year. “From a young age they have
had labels imposed on them like they
are lazy or don’t listen.”
In Mike’s case, the result was that
he began to act out. “When you told
him to do something he became
quite defiant,” says Walker.
Apprehensive about what might
happen if this wasn't just typical
growing pains, the Walkers sought
professional help. They made an
appointment with Huron Perth
Centre for Youth and Adolescence,
which unfortunately added to their
frustrations.
“Part of what Mike was going
through would be helped by learning
how to deal with it. Unfortunately,
he had three counsellors in six
months. This was no one’s fault, just
the situation, but Mike had learned
quickly to tell them what they
wanted to hear and without
continuity in his treatment he was in
control.”
Then when Mike turned 16 his
parents were no longer able to make
him see a counsellor. Disappointed
at the time, Walker admits now that
it probably didn’t matter. “In
hindsight making him see someone
when he wasn’t buying into it wasn’t
doing any good.”
Then things began to escalate.
During a disagreement, Mike pushed
his mother. “This was not acceptable
and I needed him to know that. I
asked myself how to deal with it and
decided to call the police.”
At that time, the officers told her
that charging her son with assault
would either stop the negative
behaviour or escalate it.
She took the chance and Mike
received probation.
Shortly after, another violent
outburst resulted in another charge.
“At this point I’m thinking we have
an anger management problem,”
says Walker. “But he wouldn’t go for
help.”
Mike’s behaviour was also
affecting his education. “He was not
doing well. We thought he was lazy,
not working up to his potential. So
when he said he wanted to quit we
said that was fine but he had to get a
job.
Having dropped out of school in
Grade 11, Mike found a job which
lasted one month. “This is typical
ADHD,” says Sweiger.
Walker says her son never had a
problem geting another job, but the
story always turned out the same.
“At this point, he can’t tell me how
many jobs he’s had,” says Sweiger.
She explains that with the
secondary behaviours Mike had
developed, the problem with
keeping a job was never his.
“He’d get tired or there was no
stimulation,” explains Walker.
In his last job after the boss
mentioned a minor incident which
had occurred, Mike quit, but not
before throwing an expensive screw
gun. “I told him such malicious
damage could get him charged
again,” cays Walker. “All he said
was that his boss had lots of these
guns.”
“It’s never his fault. He’s set it up
so he’s never willing to take
responsibiblity.”
This is the secondary behaviour
Sweiger talks about, learned actions
which medication, typically Ritalin,
is unable to treat. “If he does
something wrong he first avoids the
situation, then blames the other
person. Had he been diagnosed
earlier this secondary behaviour
would not have developed.”
Also with the “impulsivity”
common for ADHD people, anger is
often swift and without thought.
“It’s the mouth ahead of the
brain,” says Sweiger. “The mouth
says it, then the brain kicks in.” Why
medication works as a treatment is
that it serves as a filter, she says. “It
gives them that split second to think
before they act.”
While most ADHD people are
typically of average to above-
average intelligence, Sweieger says
they get into so much trouble
because they can’t plan. “They don’t
decide to do stupid things. It just
happens.”
Stricter disipline is not the answer
as the ADHD sufferer will not stop
the bad behaiour because they don’t
know why they are doing what they
are doing. “In all of parenting we try
and teach kids there are
consequences to their actions. With
ADHD kids all the parenting
strategies don’t work,” says Walker.
Last fall, upset with his mother he
again physically attacked her. As
Mike was still on probation the
incident meant jail. Sweiger asked
the judge that the sentence be long
enough for him to receive
counselling. As a captive patient it
was the best way to guarantee
treatment.
It was a year ago that Sweiger, a
social worker with a degree in
psychology, was first called upon by
the family to assess Mike.
A Conners’ Parent Rating Scale,
test to determine ADHD designed by
C. Keith Conners, PhD, showed that
Mike had had it, but had probably
grown out of it, says Walker.
The family was less than sure,
however. “We realized again that
Mike was playing the game,
answering what people want to hear.
The problem is making him
recognize he has ADHD.”
Unfortunately, with school boards
and the medical profession stretched
financially and overworked,
recognizing ADHD can often take
too long. “Schools don’t have
anyone dealing specifically with
ADHD,” says Sweiger. “By the time
it’s figured out, a rift has already
been created - between the school
and the parents, who are tired of
hearing bad things about their child,
between the school' and the child and
between the parent and child.”
Sweiger works with the schools as
well as the family and will even
accompany the child on visits to the
family doctor. “I am on the parents’
side, I’m on the school’s side, but
I’m really on the student’s side.”
There are many reasons why a
person will become ADHD -
genetics, head injury, alcohol
consumption during pregnancy and
environmental impact. Recognizing
this can help parents determine the
likelihood of the illness.
Also thereare certain behaviours to
watch for. As in Mike’s case
impulsivity can be the most tell-tale
and the most problematic. “All of
his charges have been a result of
impulse”, says Sweiger.
People with ADHD tend to be
attracted towards others with similar
personality issues. “They get in. with
a bad bunch, gravitating towards
those with low self-esteem or the
risk lakers.”
Sweiger sees a bitter irony in the
fact that many with ADHD
otherwise have so much to offer.
“My clients are good-looking,
artistic in some form and of average
to above average intelligence.
Consider that triad and it is sad when
you see the road they’re going
down.”
For parents dealing with an ADHD
child it is important to set limits.
“One of the reasons Mike is in the
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legal system so much is because 1
won’t put up w*th this,” says Walker.
“He has the potential to be such a
good kid, but 1 can’t ignore the bad
stuff. It would be easier perhaps, but
I’m not willing to do it because I
love him.”
Parents need to have an open
mind, to listen to what others are
telling them, and if they have a
sneaking suspicion their child might
be ADHD get it checked into.
“It’s better to find out and teach
them about medication.”
Medication is not the only
treatments says Sweiger. “Parents
need to get information, be educated
and advocate on behalf of their
child.”
And thinking the problem will go
away or improve without treatment
could be a serious mistake. Forty per
cent of untreated boys will be
arrested for a felony by the time
they’re 16. Fifty-two per cent of
people with untreated attention
deficit disorder will have drug or
alcohol problems.
“If your child had epilepsy would
you deny it and refuse treatment?”
asked Sweiger. “You are condeming
them to this life. If you love them,
you want what’s best.
to Stephanie Lentz who
recently received the
designation Chartered
Accountant at the Institute
of Chartered Accountants'
Annual Awards. A graduate
in Honours Business &
Commerce from McMaster
University, Stephanie is
currently employed as an
auditor with Deloitte Touche
in Kitchener. She is the
daughter of Lynda & Duncan
McGregor of Blyth, Karl &
Anne Lentz of St. George,
and granddaughter of Ralph
& Avice Foster of Goderich.
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