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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2003-04-30, Page 5THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 30, 2003. PAGE 5. Other Views Some good news for a change What this world needs is a really good five cent-cigar. An otherwise forgettable American politician by the name of Thomas Riley Marshall divested himself of that opinion while presiding over the U.S. Senate about a century ago. Thomas Riley Marshall was wrong. If there’s one thing this tormented, overburdened and stress-jangled planet does not need right now, it’s a cheap smoke. Aside from stinking up the joint, cigars are carcinogenic, air­ polluting and a sure-fire way to ugly up your image. Don’t cigar smokers realize how much they look like Ed the Sock? No. what the world really needs right now is some good news. News that doesn’t include details of government flip-flopping, troop deployments, skyrocketing gas prices and nose-diving stock markets. And I’ve found some. Tiny, perfect, good­ news stories tucked in amongst stark datelines like Basra and Baghdad; in between stories of carpet bombings and rogue viruses. Such as? Well, such as the heart-warming story of Bird, a cockatoo who used to roost in a cage in Dallas, Texas. Used to, because, alas. Bird is no more. He went to his fate protecting his master, Kevin Butler, from a murderer. Well — a cockatoo? It was no contest. After killing the bird’s owner, the murderer gave the courageous cockatoo a lethal swat and Bird fluttered earthward to his reward. But not before flying in the face of the murderer and giving him a valiant peck upside the head. The killer wiped the blood from his temple then turned off a lightswitch in the Liberals rarely live up to polls Ontario’s Liberals have dominated in the polls for four years — so why should anyone doubt they can win an election? The Liberals have held substantial leads in polls over the governing Progressive Conservatives since soon after they lost the 1999 election. The most recent gave them 48 per cent compared to Premier Ernie Eves’s Tories’ 31 per cent. But doubt still exists they can win, even among Liberals. Their MPPs, when asked jokingly whether they have measured the cabinet offices to check if their furniture will fit, tend to counter nervously whether the questioner really believes they have a chance. One cause of the uncertainty is the Tories’ ability to bounce back, because they have won 15 of the last 17 elections, although in one of these they obtained a minority government that was quickly bounced out. But the main reason is the Liberals’ remarkable record of leading in polls up to an election and still failing to win. The most recent example was when two major pollsters had the Liberals led by Dalton McGuinty up to 12 per cent ahead just before then Tory premier Mike Harris called an election in 1999. But Harris campaigned on his tried and successful themes of cutting taxes and keeping law and order and won by 45 per cent to the Liberals’ 40 per cent. The Liberals under Lyn McLeod had 51 per cent support in a poll when a New Democrat government called an election in 1995. Harris, little-known and leading a small opposition party, was not seen as a threat with 25 per cent and the New Democrats had no chance of holding on with only 21 per cent. But this was the campaign in which Harris unveiled his creed of slashing taxes and government, explained it simply and proved in Arthur Black house, leaving a smear of his DNA for the police. The cops picked up the murderer. And gave Bird a hero’s funeral. Speaking of heroes, let’s have a 21-gun salute for Matthew Thompson. He’s one of a legion of faceless civil servants toiling in the nether reaches of the Department of Work and Pensions in Manchester, England. Faceless...but also, gloriously, tieless. Matthew and all his colleagues got a directive last year dictating that he and all other male employees must henceforth wear neckties while on the job. Matthew looked around and saw his distaff colleagues togged out in sweaters, blouses, tank tops and T shirts and said to himself “What the hey?” He sued his own boss, (the UK government) claiming sexual discrimination - and won. The new dress code was dropped and guys don’t have to wear ties to the office anymore. Matthew Thompson may call it a victory against of sex discrimination. I call it a stunning blow against one of the most ridiculous affectations of male fashion since spats. Ties are twice as offensive as George Bush - they’re stupid AND useless. And a good-news story out of Italy, where tune with voters’ aspirations. The Liberal vote fell 20 per cent from the poll and Harris won easily. Liberal premier David Peterson had 50 per cent in a poll in 1990 and this encouraged him to call an election, but he attracted only 32 per cent of votes and it ended his political career. Peterson was hurt particularly because he called the election after only three years instead of the normal four and was seen as an opportunist. The Liberals are not the only party that threw away a huge lead in polls going into an election. Tory premier Frank Miller was given 50 per cent in a poll in 1985 and promptly called an election, but won only 37 per cent of votes and led the minority government that was forced out. Any lead Miller had disappeared after he refused to debate with the opposition party leaders on TV, which implied he feared the comparison. There has to be some question, however, whether the two parties really had the leads they are accused of blowing. Polls before, and early, in election campaigns ask voters’ opinions when they are not thinking much about an election and have not heard all the issues and seen the leaders perform. The pre-election poll that showed Peterson the courts last week granted a woman a divorce on the grounds of...an interfering mother-in- law. “My husband was his mother’s slave” she told the court. “He would hang on her even word while she criticized everything about me, my makeup, my diet, the way I was bringing up my daughter.” Cheering information for those of us (not me, I swear) who have known the burden of a mischievous mother in law, but not so good for the now-wifeless husband. He’s gone back home to mama. And from our Why-Do-You-Think-They- Call-It-Dope Department, this little bulletin out of Fulton, Kentucky where police, investigating a complaint about air pollution, arrived at William Hainline’s home to discover a sizeable mound of marijuana smoldering on his backyard barbecue. It gets weirder. The police also discovered a huge fan chundering away on the other side of Mister Hainline’s bungalow. Windows on both sides were open and the fan was sucking the smoke from the burning marijuana right through Hainline’s house. As police chief Terry Powell so succinctly put it: “the suspect had, in effect, turned the house into a very large marijuana bong”. Mister Hainline explained that he was merely having a 52nd birthday party. Don’t get me wrong - I’m not condoning Mister Hainline and his pot escapade. As a matter of fact, I feel very strongly about grass. I hate people who think it’s clever to take drugs. Like, for instance, Mounties. well in the lead, as an example, could not take into account he would call an election prematurely and the poll that showed Miller far in front could not recognize he later would refuse to debate opponents. The Liberals also have done their share of botching campaigns. In 1995, for instance, they delayed announcing their policies until after the campaign started, to avoid opponents sniping, then found voters already lined up behind Harris. McGuinty was tongue-tied in the 1999 TV debate between leaders when accused of nepotism for once briefly employing a brother in his legislature office and failed to demolish the questioner by naming three Tory ministers with family in long-term government jobs. Some of the leads in polls the Liberals are seen as squandering were not all that real — but they still have a capacity for tripping on the last lap. include a daytime telephone formation. As well, letters printed as space allows. > your letters brief and Bonnie Gropp The short of it I’m off to Toronto , They don’t make them much more cautious than me you know. I plan for any eventuality. 1 prepare for disaster. 1 am overly-protective, unadventurous and careful to a fault. And three weekends ago I attended a concert in Toronto, two weekends ago I spent an afternoon in Toronto, this past weekend I went to a show in Toronto and I am considering visiting there this weekend as well. The World Health Organization last week issued a warning to travellers to stay away from Toronto because of Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS). Contrary to this the head of the U.S. Centers for Disease Control, Julie Gerberding, as of last Thursday said she saw no reason Toronto should be avoided because of the SARS epidemic. While there have been cases where transmission has occurred outside of hospitals and close household contacts, Gerberding said they could all be linked “back to the index family that travelled from Hong Kong.” Thus her contention is that there’s “no evidence” to say anyone visiting the Toronto area is at any different risk of acquiring SARS than they are from going to any number of the other countries where “sporadic cases have cropped up among returning travellers.” And I, mistress of wariness, a damsel looking for distress tend to agree. This past weekend’s trip to TO was a long- awaited outing with a group, which originally involved picking up my daughter in the GTA and enjoying a meal before the theatre. However, two of my party were fearful of eating in a Toronto restaurant, which resulted in some last-minute unravelling ot plans. One of the women is a young mother and I could fully appreciate her concerns. I think her neither foolish nor uninformed. However, I couldn’t help wondering if there had been consideration to the big picture. After all, is it not possible that the chef or the person next to her in the Kitchener restaurant where we did dine, might have recently visited Toronto? Was she not equally concerned that we were accompanied by a person who lives in TO, who travels every day by subway and bus. The whole issue is undoubtedly scary. SARS is new and it hit with alarming haste. But, as it is said over and over, influenza kills more people each year. While the number of cases may be frightening, it should be considered that Canada, unlike other areas, is reporting the suspected as well as the probable, which increases the stats somewhat misleadingly. Many of the suspect cases have proved to be other viruses. As it is with so many other things we can only do so much to protect ourselves. People are travelling to and from Toronto to outlying areas daily. They commute from its suburbs and even further afield. These people in turn then travel into other areas. Therefore can we truly, with confidence, limit the mystery of who might have SARS to the GTA? If the stories scare you away from Toronto, then logic would say that for the very same reasons you’re not safe anywhere. If you believe you’ll catch it on the subway, then there’s no place to hide. We have to exercise caution but in a world fraught with dangers SARS is just one more. Panic and seclusion aren’t the answer. Know your enemy. Become informed. Learn its vulnerabilities and understand yours. Trust me, it makes it a little less scary.