HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2002-12-04, Page 5THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 4, 2002. PAGE 5
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How to get rich quick not
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got the most interesting e-mail the other
day. It was from Jack Osmunds, who
identifies himself as "the technical director
of a multinational oil co-operation" in Nigeria.
Jack is looking for an 'international
relationship" with me so that he can make me
a multi-millionaire.
Now is that not a great e-mail to find in your
inbox? ..
It kind of reminded me of the one I received
last month from one Daniel A.Oluwa. Daniel is
a member of Nigeria's Federal Audit
Committee and he, too, was anxious to be my
friend - so anxious he was willing to cut me (a
stranger) in on a $42.5 million frozen account
he `discovered'.
Why didn't Dan just keep the whole bundle
for himself? Well, aside from being a really
generous guy, he needed a "foreign-based
partner" to act as intermediary.
That would be me. All I had to do was
forward Dan my "bank name, address, account
number, name of account beneficiary, bank
telephone and fax number" — and 30 per cent
(14 mil, give or take) of the frozen 'asset
Nigerian treasure would be mine.
That's about as easy as money gets, but I
didn't bite. Why? Because Dan and Scott's
letters were a lot like e-mails I received from
one Steve Okon, one Nkobe Ashanti and a
Doctor Chukwubu Eze, all of whom had
millions of Nigerian dollars they couldn't wait
to give me, just as soon as. I sent along a few
'particulars'.
It's a scam of course. Only a bonehead
would take the bait, right?
Oh, absolutely. The '419 fraud' as the
Nigerian come-on is known to law enforcement
agencies, is unbelievable, outlandish and
illiterate ("PLEASE EXCUSING MY
INTRUSION INTO YOU BUSINEZ LIFE" is
People who get mad at government these
days don't just call a politician — they
call their lawyer.
One result is lawsuits are flying around the
Ontario legislature at an unprecedented rate,
making it suddenly look like the Osgoode Hall
courthouse. And it can be predicted safely
there will be many more.
To cite only a few from recent days: a suit by
employees has prompted a court ruling they
are entitled to share surpluses in company
pension plans and forced the Progressive
Conservatives to back off a plan to allow
companies to apply for surpluses without
having to negotiate with employees.
School trustees and teachers' unions in
Toronto have started a court action claiming
the Tories violated the Education Act by
appointing an unelected supervisor to cut their
spending and stripping them of power to
manage finances.
The Canadian Union of Public Employees,
which says Ontario is breaking federal law by
allowing private hospitals and MRI clinics, has
asked a court to order the federal Liberals to
force it to obey.
Residents who mortgaged their homes to pay
to go to court won a ruling municipalities can
restrict bottling companies extracting water,
which the province had been reluctant to grant.
A woman injured when her car skidded on
ice sued the province and has been awarded $5
million by a court, which found the province
knew the highway was dangerous and sent a
sander late. The Tories have been skimpy over
Winter maintenance of highways and the path
has been opened for similarlawsuits.
A waitress has donvi need Ontario's
Workplace Safety and Insurance Board, the
equivalent of a' court, he? lung cancer was
Arthur
Black
the opening sentence in the e-mail 1 received
from Doctor Eze).
The fraud is so lame that experts estimate no
more than one per cent of all recipients ever
respond. But, thanks to.the miracle of internet,
one per cent of cyberspace can be a mighty
heavy catch.
The same experts figure the folks sending
out these hilariously inept e-mails are netting
something like $100 million U.S. a year.
Canadians have not been immune. One
investor from Surrey, B.C. got taken for about
$10,000. Twenty residents in Moose Jaw have
together lost more than $2 million.
"It's hard to believe this could happen" says
Sgt. Mark Simchison of the Hamilton, Ontario
city police. "We've been warning Canadians
for the past 10 years not to get involved in the
'Nigerian fraud scams' and yet they go ahead
and do it anyway."
Indeed they do. The records show that in the
past five or six years, Canadians dropped more
than $5 million into one Nigerian get-rich-
quick scheme or another.
So who is the mastermind behind this
grubby little money maker? The Mafia?
A criminal brain trust manipulated from
some SMERSHlike cartel in Moscow?
Naw.
Chances are the guiding force behind those
e-mails in your inbox is some barefoot, street-
smart scam artist with minimal computer
caused by second-hand smoke on the job and
won compensation. The Canadian Cancer
Society predicts she has lit up the way for
others.
A dozen inmates beaten by guards in a
young offenders' institution, the type of people
who normally accept what is doled out, won a
$1 million settlement from the province, which
felt its defence was so weak it would not even
go to court.
A man who lost $250,000 in casinos is suing
the province for $7 million for enticing him,
although surely this is what they always do
with their cheap bus trips and big-name
entertainers bringing in the sheep to be shorn?
The province says it is considering court
action to try to prevent the federal government
clawing back $2 billion it overpaid by clumsily
miscalculating personal income tax transfers.
Other lawsuits ongoing include one in which
Premier Ernie Eves's predecessor, Mike
Harris, is suing a newspaper for $15 million
for libel, saying it implied he was responsible
for the shooting death of Dudley George when
police moved to evict natives occupying
Ipperwash Provincial Park in 1995.
A date also has been set for a court to hear a
suit for damages by George's family, which
claims the premier and others in government
pressured police to use force. How slowly the
skills who's squatting in a cybercafe in Lagos.
These petty grafters can rent a terminal for a
dollar an hour, log on to an automated
computer program that combs the internet for
e-mail addresses and spew their barely
coherent pitch to literally millions of
unsuspecting recipients around the world.
Which is not to suggest that these crooks are
harmless paper-kiters who only want your
dough, no. The 419 fraud is like a human
Venus flytrap — the farther you pursue it, the
deeper you get.
And the deader you can get.
The really gullible saps actually get
lured into taking trips to Nigeria to protect
their investments. There, they sit in stifling
hotel rooms while a succession of messengers
cajole them into coming up with down
payments and more down payments to
bribe government officials, cover off unofficial
customs duties, even pay thousands of
dollars for a 'chemical solvent' which will
disguise the money and make it easy to
smuggle.
When, at last, the sucker gets too suspicious
(or runs out of money), the atmosphere turns
very sour. 'Police' kick down your hotel door
and point large and nasty automatic weapons
in your face.
Only recourse? Massive infusions of money.
Otherwise you can expect to be held for
ransom.
Or 'disappeared'.
Moral of the story?
The Ancient Roman equivalent of the Better
Business Bureau figured it out two millennia
ago. CAVEAT EMPTOR, they spelled out in
mosaic tiles. Let the buyer beware.
Or as Tony Soprano might say:"If it sounds
too good to be true, you can bet your #$% it
is."
legal wheels turn is illustrated by the fact the
hearing still will not start until next September.
Eleanor Clitheroe, whom Eves's government
fired as chief executive of its electricity
transmission network, has a suit claiming it
made false and defamatory statements and
seeking $11 million damages.
Health Minister Tony Clement also brought
a libel action against Liberal leader Dalton
McGuinty and forced him to apologize for
calling him corrupt. There had been only two
threatened libel suits between MPPs in 30
years and neither came to court.
Why so many lawsuits now? Critics have
won so many court actions particularly agairist
the Harris government, counting among their
successes stopping the closing of a French-
language hospital and firing previous
governments' appointees, they are encouraged
to bring more.
The province also has introduced legislation
to allow lawyers to take cases on a contingency
fee basis, so clients do not have to pay legal
fees unless they win, which will help poorer
people, but give another push to the rush to the
COUrts.
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Please keep your letters brief and concise.
Bonnie
Gropp
The short of it
A family physician
The time was here for my annual
physical z--- that oh-so-not anticipated
practice we alt want to avoid and none
of us should.
But I'm not about to lethure anyone or go
into any medical details. What did come to
mind as I drove home from my appointment
was how very much this particular routine
defines how the world has changed.
My first recollection of our family physician
takes me back to childhood, when a visit (yes,
I am that old; he actually came to see me when
I was ill) by this soft-spoken, small-of-stature,
large-of-heart physician was often the best
medicine. Dr. Earl would walk in the door and
a sick, frightened child was calmed.
He worked from a tiny little clinic with
another friendly family physician. A last-
minute phone call and the receptionist, a nice
lady, who knew me, knew my family and kne
which doctor we wanted to see, fit us in. The
waiting room was the size of a cozy den, with
seating for about 10 people.
By the early 1970s change was already
notable. The doctors in town operated out of
brand new clinics, large enough to
accommodate several physicians. The waiting
room seated at least triple the earlier number.
Which of course was a good thing, because
now when you arrived for yoUr appointment
waiting was definitely the first step.
The personal things were still the same,
however. Though the nurses and receptionists
had increased in number, most still knew the
patients, as well as who the family doctor was,
By this point in time, too, our family had
changed physicians, and was now being seen
by the son of our former .doctor. While the
days of house calls were over, his familiarity
to us still offered a level of comfort.
And now we come to the 21st century, a fast-
paced, impersonal world. There are well over
a dozen doctors in the clinic. The waiting
room is always full. Nil emergency means you
will probably be able to see a physician, just
not necessarily your own. An appointment for
anything less certainly won't be in the current
week and for anything as involved as a full
physical you better have your own schedule
pretty much figured out for months ahead
because that's when you'll be booked.
Walking into the reception area I am
required to give my name as well as that of my
doctor because the people behind the desk see
so many faces mine is just another in the
endless parade. Friendly, they may be, but
there is not time to be personal.
I take a seat and, of course, prepare to wait.
I watch the many, many others coming and
going until my name is called and I am hustled
into the office. A nurse I have never seen
before enters and with polite efficiency asks
the necessary questions. No longer is there chit
chat about my siblings, my parents, myself.
Our current family physician moved to the
community that I moved out of several years
ago. Interestingly, though he knows the most
intimate details of my life, he is to me, and 1 to
him, a stranger.
,- Obviously, what we need most from our
doctor is competent. compassionate health
care and treatment. Mine provides -it. But I
can't help it if it feels strange to me that oft' the
top of his head he can't tell me how many
children I have, how old they are or their
names. After all, I guess I was spoiled. I can
still recall when knowing a patient's history
was not just clinical.
Ontario's critics go to court