HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2002-11-06, Page 5THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 6, 2002. PAGE 5.
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S leep is the most moronic fraternity in the
world, with the heaviest dues and the
crudest rituals.
- Vladimir Nabokov
Methinks the author of Lolita doth protest
too much.
That sounds like something that might have
been scribbled down in the early hours of some
sleepless night by a grumpy insomniac fed up
with counting sheep.
Still, he does have a point. Just imagine what
a Type A personality could get done if said
personality didn't have to render itself
unconscious for one third of its lifetime.
Assuming that you, like I, hit the sack for
about eight hours a night, and assuming that
we both make it to our allotted three score and
10 - that means that you and I will have spent
close to a quarter of a century curled up and
comatose in the Land of Nod.
Some folks have tried to stuff sleep on the
back burner. Napoleon, Edison, Churchill and
George Bernard Shaw all got by on less than
five hours sleep a night (or so they claimed).
Benjamin Franklin swore he slept only two.
Einstein on the other hand, liked to rack up
10 hours in the sack each night - 11, if he had
a major cogitation day coming up.
So how much sleep do we need? The jury is
still out.
Edison growled, "People eat twice too much
and sleep twice too long."
But Paul Martin (not him - the one who
wrote the book Counting Sheep) says, "We
might live longer and happier lives if we took
our beds as seriously as our running shoes."
One thing that most experts agree on is that
we are all getting less sleep than we used to.
Ontario's Progressive Conservatives
have a zero tolerance policy toward
those who break the law, but they are
ready to bend it to win an election.
Premier Ernie Eves in a burst of compassion
has chosen Jaime Watt, an advertising
executive praised as a media guru and the
party's most astute communications strategist,
as co-chair of his campaign in the election due
next year.
Watt specializes in making opponents look
bad and won his reputation working for former
premier Mike Harris in the 1995 election,
when he created a commercial showing a
likeness of Liberal leader Lyn McLeod on a
weathervane, twisting and turning with each
puff of wind and suggesting accurately the
Liberals were indecisive.
This left out, however, that Harris was not
always pointed in the right direction, because
he made promises, including one to stop
government constantly increasing its revenue
from gambling,which he dropped like a losing
lottery ticket the moment the election was
over.
Harris planned to install Watt as
communications adviser in his office, but a
victim phoned revealing Watt had been
convicted of fraud and forgery while owning a
clothing store a decade earlier and Harris
withdrew his offer.
The much-in-demand Watt turned up a few
months later working on a contract for Eves,
41en finance minister, selling his economic
statement, but the opposition parties, raised
such an outcry he was cast out again.
Watt still helped behind the scenes in the
1999 election and ran Jim Flaherty's recent
campaign for leader and, while no-one had a
real chance against Eves, injected the most
excitement with his feisty claim Eves was a.
pale pink imitation of Liberal leader Dalton
• •
Blame television, electric lights, internet
surfing, Starbucks or just the sheer hyped-up
pace of modern life - whatever the cause, there
are a lot of folks walking around with
unclaimed luggage under their eyeballs. _
And when it comes to the phenomenon of
sleep, that may be just about all we can agree
on. Most of our notions about sleep are
erroneous.
People talk of 'sleeping the night through'.
In fact, we get four or five 'sleeps' of about 90
minutes each.
People who claim they never dream are
wrong. They just don't remember them.
And we talk of 'sweet dreams'. In fact, about
two-thirds of our dreams are unpleasant.
Scientists aren't even precisely sure why we
need to curl up and pass out once a day. Some
argue we sleep to restore the body. Others say
we do it to conserve energy.
Certain researchers claim the function of
sleep is to allow the brain to process the day's
experiences and file them away in the memory
banks - to help us remember, in other words.
Other researchers say the opposite: that sleep
is like your computer off-switch. It prevents
the brain from becoming Over-loaded.
As to how much sleep we need - that, too is
an open question. Thd health guides
Eric
Dowd
From
Queen's Park
McGuinty.
Eves has shown how highly he rates Watt by
forgiving and recruiting him, as an earlier Tory
premier, William Davis, snapped up those who
ran Al Lawrence's campaign and gave him a
close race and fright.
Eves risks opposition criticisms by
appointing Watt. When his convictions were
first revealed, the Liberals said they were
shocked the Tories would "employ a convicted
con artist to sell their message."
The New Democrats questioned the Tories'
integrity and said "everyone knows Watt is
adept at selling people things they don't want."
They can be expected to repeat these
concerns as the Tories become more
aggressive. The Tories already are circulating
newsletters charging McGuinty is "still not up
to the job," a continuation of their successful
theme last election, and lists of Liberal
changes of mind.
The Tories will argue Watt, who was in his
20s when he broke the law, haS paid his
penance and rehabilitated himself.
But they have made it a major theme the
opposition parties are soft on crime and have
too much sympathy for those who commit
offences and not enough for their victims.
The Tories also have a zero tolerance policy
toward welfare recipients MI6 defraud and ban
them from benefits for life, although most are
pitiable people who have not had Watt's
recommend eight hours a night, but there's a
70-year-old- woman in England who claims
she's never slept more than one hour a night -
and no daytime naps either.
Researchers hied her off to a sleep lab and
monitored the woman for 72 hours straight.
She stayed awake for the first 56 hours (nearly
two and a half days) and then slept for only an
hour and a half. The records show the woman
awoke refreshed, alert and in good spirits.
Well, why not? Sleep is not an absolute
biological imperative.
Albatrosses can fly for 30 to 50 days without
resting. As far as we can tell, whales,
antelopes, shrews and giraffes don't sleep at
all.
On the other hand, if you are of the hairless
primate persuasion, it would be best if you
don't try this at home. Going without sleep
doesn't work very well for most humans. In
fact, sleep deprivation is Dirty Trick-Number
One in every interrogators' Little Black Book.
Doctor Bernard Frankel, of the U.S.
National Institute of Health says bluntly: "A
human being can stay awake for no longer than
12 days without permanent damage."
Besides, it feels good. Sam Coleridge wrote,
"Oh, sleep! It is a gentle thing, beloved from
pole to pole".
And it's not as if it's a total waste of time.
Fleming dreamed up penicillin while he was
asleep. The laws of heredity came to Mendel in
his sleep. Einstein discovered the germ of his.
Law of Relativity during one of his ten-hour
timeouts. And Mozart composed The Magic
Flute with his eyes wide shut.
The way I look at it, sleep is inevitable. So
why not lie back and enjoy it?
advantages in education and work
opportunitiLs
The Tories in addition are not spreading their
forgiveness evenly, the prime example being
Steve Gilchrist, who had been one of their
brightest young prospects when he stepped
down as municipal affairs minister in 1999
while police investigated an allegation he told
developers who wanted to meet him to speak
first to a Tory fundraiser.
Police found no evidence of wrongdoing, but
it emerged Gilchrist had been convicted of
evading tax while involved, also in his 20s, in
his family's business.
Gilchrist may be the hardest-working MPP,
commonly leaving his office at 3 a.m., yet
others without his drive and ability have been
appointed to cabinet. And while it is not
enough of an excuse, if everyone who evaded
tax Was caught, the courts would come to a
standitill.
But he has not been reinstated in party
favour and neither have Alan Eagleson or Terry
Jones or other former Tory MPPs who have
been in trouble with the law, but they are not
needed to win an election.
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Bonnie
Gropp
The short of it
Boys and their toys
B ig boys and their
,
toys. There is
something about motorized vehicles
and testosterone that seems to go
together.
I once read that society programs the male at
an early age by putting 'guy' type toys in the
hands of little boys. Studies suggest that a
young male child is as likely to be entertained
by dressing a baby doll as he is pushing a car
along the floor if that is what he's been given.
At the risk of upsetting feminists that all
makes sense except for one thing. As most
people with male children would attest, it's
generally not true.
A young mother, herself born into a family
of girls, then raising daughters, eventually
gave birth to a boy. I remarked upon how
different this must be for her.
"I know," she said. "I never told him to like
tractors and trucks, noisy things. But from the
time he could show interest he did. The girls
never cared about that stuff."
I know what she means. Boys like tools and
motors. An early fascination of my oldest
son's was a source of embarrassment for his
young mom as every trucker who drove past us
received an exuberant greeting. When he got
a little older, I gave him a Raggedy Andy; he
chose a John Deere combine.
My grandson, who is very much surrounded
by feminine influence, arrived for a visit at our
home the other day with a doll. Oh, he played
with it alright — throwing it on the back of his
riding car and fishtailing around the house.
Not yet three his fascination with wheels
and motors began with lawn mowers and has
progressed to where he already has his
favourites when it comes to automobiles. He
actually recognizes a variety of makes and has
a fondness, albeif nurtured by his Papa, for one
particular model, the, PT Cruiser.
With that • .in mind, his indulgent
grandparents were delighted to be able to give
him a little treat recently. As a Christmas gift
last year my husband received a one-day rental
of a Cruiser. There was no way our Peanut
couldn't be included in this, outing so we set
the date and made our plans, all to be kept
quiet until picking up the car.
Spying the Cruiser was a treat in itself but
finding out he was actually going to spend the
day riding around in it generated plenty of
excitement.
Autos are certainly one Of the things that do
seem to have that effect on guys. Men will
yearn for a specific type. Even more curious,
they're interested in what lies beneath both
hood and chassis.
My husband has for quite some time been in
the process of restoring a classic, a 1967 RT.
A blast from his past, it's nostalgia, hobby and
a dream for sound and speed rolled into one.
And conversation for every male who
crosses our threshold. Guys remember their
first set of wheels with the same wistful
expression a woman wears recalling her
wedding day or the birth of her child. Even
my brother, whom I've always thought of as
more of a tool guy than a car guy, got dreamy-
eyed when someone mentioned a 1968
Cheve I le.
I have spent a lot of hours trying to
understand why metal, rubber, plugs and
engines can inspire such admiration in males,
almost even before they can walk. I have come
to the decision that it is just one more piece of
the puzzle that is men and women.
Now I lay me .
Tories bend zero tolerance policy