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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2002-10-16, Page 5Final Thought To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go , and do that very thing. Mark Ttt'ain THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 16, 2002. PAGE 5. Other Views They're playing the circle game 1don't suppose I'll ever be interviewed by The National Enquirer. Too supernaturally deprived. I have never talked to an extraterrestrial, been kidnapped by aliens, or marveled at strange and inexplicable spacecraft streaking across the sky. But I have seen crop circles. In a farmer's field near Vanderhoof, a small town in the B.C. interior. They were crop circles, alright. A good hundred feet in diameter. No sign of footprints, tire tracks or mechanical interference — just a series of circular depressions in which the wheat stalks had all been flattened in the same direction, as if by a giant steam iron. What was it — a message from E.T.? Not necessarily. _ Crop circles are- a . misnomer for the phenomena /hat appear to paralyze Mel Gibson in the movie Signs. A better name would be Crock Circles. They first gained public attention back in the 1960s, when farmers in the south of England began to notice strange areas of flattened grain in their fields. The fact that these fields were not far from the ancient Druid site of Stonehenge jacked up the Twilight Zone factor right from the get-go. Before long the circles were appearing in grain fields in " continental Europe, then in Japan, Canada and the U.S. They all shared some common characteristics: the circles were big, of varying complexity. with no sign of human participation. And they always appeared overnight. - Theories were legion. Scientific types reckoned they were caused by rogue- windstorms. Or maybe a plasma vortex of electronic force fields. Or perhaps geomagnetic currents from deep inside the Fi rnie Eves would be doing a lot better if it were not for Mike Harris. The former Progressive Conservative premier has left problems that keep emerging and hurting his successor six months after he moved on. The most recent was a revelation that Harris, only days before he retired and without telling anyone but a handful of compliant ministers, gave overpaid professional sports teams a massive tax cut despite having reduced services for the needy. Eves had been unaware of Harris's tax break and will cancel it. But Harris has started a career with a law firm connected to sports teams. His generosity gave the Liberals an opening to charge that Tories who govern favour their friends and much of the public will remember it simply as Tories secretly giving a tax break to the rich. Eves a few days earlier fired his tourism minister, Cam Jackson, for treating himself at taxpayers' expense to good wines, fine dining, fancy hotel rooms and other high living. Many ministers have spent public money freely on themselves and the abuse has to be exceptional before one is fired. Jackson did his spending while Harris was premier, was doing nothing to stop it, and was even encouraging it by allowing others in public service, including officers of its electricity transmission network, Hydro One, . to , oVeispend. But it still probably will be thought of as_a minister fired for feeding too much at the public trough on Eves'S' watch. Eves had to rebuke two other ministers, Chris Stockwell and John Baird, and a former, minister, Rob Sampson, and their staffs for charging high expenses. Arthur Black earth were responsible. More mystical observers saw them as calling cards from aliens eager to communicate with earthlings. Actually, what it was, was Doug and Dave. Doug Bower and Dave Chorley, two good old boys who liked to knock back a few brews of an evening in a pub in Wiltshire, not far from Stonehenge. One Friday night back in 1978 after last call, Doug and Dave decided to have a bit of fun. They grabbed some rope and a few planks and headed out to a nearby farm. The next morning, a Wiltshire farmer was scratching his head and wondering what the hell had happened to his barley crop overnight. For the next dozen years, Doug and Daye spent a couple of nights each week visiting farmers' fields under cover of darkness. They reckon that between 1978 and 1991 they created over 1,000 crop circles in the Stonehenge area. _ A British newspaper reporter said "Not so fast" and challenged the two to prove their story. They took the reporter out with them the following night. She watched as they tip-toed into a field between the plants and set up a pole with a string attached to the top. Then they grabbed the opposite end of the rope and began walking — Hey, presto — a crop circle. Then they used the wooden planks to flatten the grain within the perimeter they'd created. Eves also had to face a grilling over a fifth minister, Tony Clement, paying an Enron-like $300,000-a-year salary to an aide. But all the ministers' overspending took place under Harris, who turned a benevolent blind eye. The issue Harris left that has given Eves the biggest headache has been his last-minute, poorly-prepared decision to sell. Hydro One. Harris, a disciple of Margaret Thatcher, had been premier nearly seven years and largely backed off his initial, grandiose plans for privatizating government functions when he announced suddenly the province would sell its electricity transmission network. Harris left his successor to carry this through, but failed to make sure first the province had legal authority to sell and initiate a public debate in which he could have tried to whip up support for privatizing. A court ruled the province did not have the right to sell and the need to pass 'new legislation gave the opposition parties time to rally public concern. Senior officers of the utility were then found raking in huge salaries, and perks for limousines, memberships in private clubs and sponsorship of an ocean-going racing yacht unheard of in government, which Harris also had failed to stop. It looked good, but the reporter still wasn't convinced. The following day, she brought in one of Britain's top crop circle researchers and asked him whether he thought the creation was authentic. The expert's assessment? "No human being could have done this. These crops are laid down in• these sensational patterns by an energy that remains unexplained and is of a high level of intelligence." So are Doug and Dave responsible for the thousands of crop circles that have appeared from Valladolid to Vanderhoof? Of course not. But 90 per cent of all reported crop circles in the world have appeared within 50 miles of Stonehenge. As for the ones Doug and Dave didn't do, — the experts chalk them up to copycats. Which experts? Carl Sagan, for one. The famous U.S.-astronomer (and tireless searcher for extraterrestrial life) concluded years ago that crop circles were an utter hoax. And the Committee for the Scientific Investigation of Claims of the Paranormal reports: "Approximately 100 per cent of crop circles are man-made. We say approximately because we have to- allow for dogs chasing their tails and other phenomena." As for my Vanderhoof crop circles - they looked authentic.to me, but I'm not an expert in the field. I do know a thing or two about human nature, though - and there was something a little 'off' about the guy I talked to who reported the find. Nothing big - just a little sideways sashay of the eyeballs as he talked with a credulous gaggle of reporters about how 'shocked and amazed' he was by his discovery. He was saying all the right words, but he struck me as a guy with a great story he couldn't wait to spill down at the local pub. Eves had to cut the salaries and perks and fire officials who took them and was forced by public outrage into one of the most dramatic retreats in memory when he agreed to sell only a minority interest, but it can all bt. traced back to Harris's miscalculations. Eves has to take some responsibility for what an earlier Tory premier did because he is in the same party and many voters will feel what Tories did once they may do again. Eves has to persuade them he will be different. He cannot issue a disclaimer saying he is in no way liable for the deeds of his predecessor, with whom he says he remains on cordial personal terms. But Eves has had bad luck in having an unusually large number of continuing problems bequeathed to him by Harris. The only remotely comparable situation was when Tory premier William Davis nearly two decades ago ignored opposition in his party and announced -full provincial funding for Catholic high schools. That decision helped his successor, Frank Miller, get tossed out of office and Eves has to worry a departing premier could hurt a successor again. Just be thankful Rest and be thankful. — Inscription on stone seat in the Scottish Highlands and title of one of Wordsworth's poems. Grumbling, growling, worrying, stewing. We've come to do it so well it's not always easy, despite our best efforts, to remember we really don't have all that much to complain about. Fortunately, there is at least one weekend a year when looking on the bright side is not just a suggestion, it's the purpose. This past weekend was our opportunity to rest and be thankful. A houseful of family has always lightened , the day for me. Busy, noisy, and many, their presence makes it pretty difficult for me not to see how fortunate I am. And at Thanksgiving my accommodating children have humoured this sappy mother year after year with their reasons for being thankful. Amidst groans of reluctance they abashedly note the many things for which they are thankful, simply because they know it's important to. me. Completely unmoved by any protestations for such a mushy observance, I am not the least bit ashamed to say I enjoy a good deal of satisfaction over their pronouncements. As siblings can be, so quick to throw the punches, I feel, saccaharine-sweet overdose of sentimentality aside, it doesn't hurt them to tell others and remind themselves just how darn good they have it. Health, comfort and each other have been a constant in their lives and sharing a little positive vibe has never hurt anyone. After all being positive is what Thanksgiving is about: Not many of us own the world, but with the state it's in lately, who would want to? And if we're smart we're certainly grateful for the cozy little speck f,f it we do own. Cash flow for the fortunate majority might not be heavy, but it's steady And while we may be fighting gravity and time, we're still breathing. Give it some real thought and you'd have to see that the glass is indeed half lull. And for this be thankful. Unfortunately, it often appears that optimism is a relative point. In the right place at the right time, with things going well under the right circumstances life is good. It's easy to see the bright side. But when things keep going from bad to worse it takes someone with true heart to find the sanity amidst the madness, the sun behind the clouds, the music in chaos. { Oh, you can remind yourself that it could be worse, but when the soul hurts that can be a pretty ineffective balm. What I have found with families, or any large gathering for that matter, is that there is generally - someone who can put it all into perspective, the true optimist whose sunny smile can beam you out of the doldrums. Which person this is may change*from time to time, but generally there is at least one to be the angel on the shoulder. Add to this the sentiment of Thanksgiving and it should be a statutory holiday from cynicism and pessimism. Gathering together for the Thanksgiving least, families can take the time together to consider their blessings. And with this reflection done en masse, even the most disgruntled curmudgeon at the table should be able to agree on some levet . Harris legacy harmful to Eves