HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2002-09-18, Page 5THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 18, 2002. PAGE 5.
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I'll sue you in my dreams
4 4 f the law supposes that, the law is a
ass, a idiot." Charles Dickens
i
arranged for those words to tumble
out of the mouth of Mister Bumble, when the
former wrote his novel, Oliver Twist more than
a century and a half ago.
Mister Dickens deserves to be immortalized
for that sentence alone, for the law is indeed 'a
ass' and 'a idiot' - something that the
newspaper headlines and television news
reader's remind us of almost every day,
' Never mind the larger than life egregious
blunders (more than $300 million spent on
land settlement negotiations between Ottawa
and British Columbia. only to come up
empty'?'?) - focus instead on the small but
steady stream of judicial miscarriages that
have become the very mortar of the daily news.
I am referring of course to the Frivolous
Lawsuits sideshow.
Frivolous lawsuits have become a growth
industry south of the border. In Las Vegas
alone, 76 per cent of all obstetricians have
been sued. Result: nearly half of the remaining
doctors have announced plans to leave and set
up practice elsewhere.
The American school curriculum has been
enriched by this new legal blood sport.
Readin"Ritin' and 'Rithmetic has been joined
by a fourth 'R':
Ripping off the system.
In southern California. one school district
has issued a proclamation banning all running
'or other boisterous activity' on the school
playground. Too many lawsuits from parents
screaming "Negligence!" each time their kids
come home with scraped knees or bruises.
Afamous election promise that put the
Liberals in government is being kept in
part, oddly by the Progressive
Conservatives,17 years later.
The bizarre saga of whether small, corner
grocery stores should be allowed to sell
alcohol has more twists and turns than a
corkscrew and is enough to drive anyone to
drink.
It started as a minor issue in the 1970s when
independent grocers asked a Tory government
to let them sell wines so they could be more
viable and compete against chains.
The province which sold wines and spirits
through its own stores, and beer in brewery-
run stores, started to allow sales in small
grocery stores in northern communities too
sparsely populated to support a liquor store,
and the sale of wines in boutiques in some
supermarkets.
A New Democrat brought in a bill to allow
corner stores across the province to sell beer,
and a Liberal a bill to allow them to sell beer
and wine. The Tory majority rejected both.
The Tories argued the bills would cause
more drinking, particularly among teens whom
store staff would have difficulty refusing,
impaired driving, and robberies because of
more cash in tills.
Liberal leader David Peterson revived the
issue almost by accident in the 1985 electiOn.
The Liberals had not put it in a long list of
promises in their written platform or even
discussed it in caucus.
Peterson mentioned it in the last breath of his
kickoff speech, but raised little interest, and
repeated when touring a brewery 'we should
be selling this stuff in corner stores.'
Before the election Peterson had not done
much to expose flaws in the Tories' policies or
inspire, a belief that after being in power for
four decades they could be replaced.
But the Tories had changed premiers and
their new leader, Frank Miller, liked for his
folksiness, was. at 57. two years older than his
predecessor and easy to paint as too rural and
outdated. Many were looking for a more
contemporary-looking premier.
Peterson's advocacy of booie _ in corner
Parents and school boards in the Detroit area
used to have the option of getting rid of incom-
petent teachers by simply reviewing their
performances and firing them, if necessary.
Not any more. They have been advised not to
even think about removing lousy teachers from
the school system.
Even a successful effort takes an average of
seven years in court and costs approximately
$200,000 in legal fees.
And a failing high school student in West
Valley, Arizona got his diploma after all when
his parents hired a lawyer who threatened to
sue the kid's English teacher.
The attorney warned the teacher that if the
suit went ahead "all information regarding (the
teacher's) background, employment records,
past and present...becomes relevant."
The teacher, to her credit, told the shyster to
stuff it, but her school. board caved. They
allowed the student to be 're-tested'.
The kid passed.
It gets stupider. Recently, a Delaware family
sued for negligence after their child drowned
when her rented canoe tipped during a trip on
a river in Delaware. The judge found the canoe
rental company guilty of "failing to post
lifeguards along the length of the river".
stores captured the imagination of news media,
who suggested fancifully it symbolized him as
a dashing young leader who would take
Ontario into a new era of badly needed .
modernization.
Peterson thereafter promised booze in corner
stores everywhere he went and when he paused
for breath he was asked about it.
The issue was blown out of proportion and
almost anything Peterson said for the rest of
the campaign, however commonplace, was
seen as a pronouncement of great wisdom.
The Tories maintained their opposition and
were accused of being in the pockets of big
breweries which donated to them, while the
NDP, which once supported corner store sales.
turned around and opposed on the ground
union jobs would be at risk.
The Tories as a result, obtained only a
minority government, and within months
Peterson ousted it with the help of the NDP
and became premier.
Peterson had a more serious agenda to fulfill,
much of it forced on him by the NDP, and
showed no thirst for getting on with allowing
corner stores to sell booze, as opposition
mounted from municipalities, police and
health groups.
But after constant reminders by the media,
his minority government eventually brought in
legislation to allow small grocery stores to sell
beer and wine and was defeated by the Tories
and NDP. Peterson showed his lack of
enthusiasm when he refused to leave a
reception a few yards down the corridor to turn
up and vote.
A year later Peterson won a huge majority in
another election and.could comfortably have
passed legislation allowing corner stores to sell
My favourite recent frivolous lawsuit story?
That would have to be the one filed by David
Winkleman and Richard Goddard Junior in
Iowa last month.
The basis of their lawsuit has to do with the
fact that Winkleman and Goddard will hence-
forth and hereafter always be easy to spot on
the street, or even in a smoky bar. That's
because they each have the letters KORB
tattooed permanently across their foreheads.
Why'?
Because Benjamin Stomberg told them to,
that's why.
Stomberg is a disc jockey at - wait for it -
radio station KORB in Iowa. Stomberg
announced, on the air, that he would give
$30,000 a year for five years to anybody who
had the station's call letters indelibly tattooed
across their forehead.
Winkleman and Goddard looked up from
their draft glasses and said 'Hey! Good deal!'
- and hied themselves off to the local human
engraving emporium.
Since then, Winkleman has been fired from
his job and both men have been "unable to find
new positions". What's more, when they
showed up at radio station KORB and asked
for their $150 grand each, they were laughed
out of the reception area. So they are, in the
great American tradition, suing the radio
station.
I think there's room for compromise .here.
Radio station KORB could offer to pay to have
at least 50 per cent of the tattoos altered.
That way Winkleman and Goddard could
walk around for the rest of their lives with
foreheads that read DORK.
booze, but never raised the issue again.
But government, including that led by Ernie
Eves, is steadily allowing more selected corner
groceries to sell booze where there are not
enough people to justify putting in its own
stores.
It says it will sprinkle them through the
province, so Peterson has got part of his wish.
But it has taken longer than aging good
whisky.
Letter
THE EDITOR,
It is difficult to believe that six months have
gone by and the Blyth and District
Community Centre renovations are almost
complete. The Heart and Soul Committee is
busy preparing for the Grand Opening BBQ
and Live and Silent Auction on Saturday Sept.
21.
Many items have been pouring in, such as —
a balloon ride, 2003 Canadian Open passes.
Steve Yzerman jersey. gift certificates, many
weekend getaway packages, DVD player.
Toronto Maple Leaf tickets. gravel, fax
machine, cedar wooden bench, many signed
sports memorabilia items, a generator, gill
baskets, signed limited edition framed prints
by — Newby, Snyder, WOodhouse, etc., limited
edition wooden bulldog butler, and much.
much, more.
Preview- and tours of the facility begin at
noon, Supervised children's activities will he
available for children ages 3-12 during the
entire event in the auditorium.
The roast beef barbecue by the Beigrave
Kinsmen begins at 5 p.m. and runs until 6:30
p.m. Children 5 and under eat free. Actor/play-
wright Ted Johns . of Bamboozled fame will
entertain, f011owed by the ribbon cutting and
grand opening• ceremony. The live and'silent
auction begins at 7:30 p.m. Assistance will he
available to those with special needs during
Continued on page 6
Bonnie
Gropp
The short of it
Great place to' visit
We live in a pretty great spot.
Besides open spaces, reasonably
fresh air - with the exception of
spreading days - water and trees, Huron
County also offers just about every type of .
entertainment, sight or leisure spot you could
want within driving distance, without traffic.
However, we don't make wine:
In recent years I have developed a fondness
for the vineyard product. I don't profess to be
able to differentiate between brands, types,
flavours. For that matter, I'm not sure that even
the ones who say they can aren't just
pretending.
What I do know is that it' it's dark, it's red
and sometimes I don't mind that. And if it's
light it's white; for me dry and oakie is nice. 1
also know that some do seem to taste better
with certain foods, and ice wine's not for me.
As you can see, as a connoisseur I am sadly
lacking. So last year I, with friends, decided to
venture on the much-ballyhooed tour of wine
country to see if I could gain further insight
into the world of wines.
Rather than being educational, however, it
was a lovely weekend of indulgence. And
though I came away without having increased
my wine-tasting expertise one iota I certainly
had fun trying.
Running late we hit our first winery just in
time for the tour only to be told they were too
busy to do tours. They pushed us off to a
competitor down the road and after catching
up with the tail-end of the tour there, we went
into the store for the ubiquitous sampling,
Arms and glasses reaching in from every
direction I felt as if' I ,was in the midst of a
'spirited' rummage sale, everyone out for his
or herself, pushing, shoving to get in there
first. Not my idea of a good time,
Then I spied the sunshine-flooded
courtyard, heard the music of a laid-back jazz
duo and saw where I was meant to be.
So, that was last year..
,
year our group felt a certain obligation
to branch out a little further. After all, all the
chatter from others who have attended spoke
of trips to 10, 15, 17 wineries in a weekend.
Being people more inclined to savour rather
than,gulp, we came up with a plan that seemed
perfect for our tastes. Having earlier consulted
a guide, we were further helped by our bed and
breakfast host, who after a sumptuous
breakfast provided us with information on
what she felt we were looking for.
We had originally decided to see the bigger
wineries, but were told that there is a greater
opportunity for discovery at the smaller ones
as they cannot afford to put as many of their
wines on the market due to a hefty licensing
fee of $6.000 per wine.
Our first stop, though, was to one of the
largest where we saw a video, then toured.
then tasted, as per instructions. This armed us
for our attack on a tiny corner of wine country
where we sampled, sipped and slurped (quite
acceptable, actually advisable).
Unlike many of those who have gone before
us, we limited ourselves to a paltry five
wineries, and spent the remainder of otw lime .
relaxing, eating and walking. The latter
afforded us both a view of how the rich people
live and of history.
When 1 consider all of that, it becomes s.ery
clear that while any one place in this count's
doesn't have it all. there's nothing missing
when you put it all together. Canadians don't
just live in a great place. It's a great place to
visit too.
An election issue is resolving