Loading...
HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2002-07-31, Page 5THE CITIZEN. WEDNESDAY, JULY 31, 2002. PAGE 5. Other Views Oh, just Hear ye, Hear ye - the Stubby is back. I have in my hand a press release from the Brick Brewing Company of Waterloo, Ontario that breathlessly informs us "The Stubby stands tall once again! More than 18 years after Canadians bid farewell to the beloved Stubby beer bottle, Brick Brewery is bringing back the unique bottle that Canadians still remember fondly." Colour me underwhelmed. I actually grew up in the Jurassic Era of Canadian brewing history - when ALL Canadian beer came in stubby bottles. This would be back in the 60s and 70s. Before that, beer came in a delightful variety of containers - green bottles, amber bottles, clear bottles, short and tall bottles. And, of course. cans. Anyone out there still holding on to their 'church key'? Yes, kiddies, there was a time when beer came in cans without the familiar pull tab. You needed an instrument to punch a couple of holes in the top before yoO could ah, liberate the elixir, as it were. The church key was a three-inch strip of metal with a sharp perforating tip on one end and a bottle cap remover on the other. No self- respecting hoser was without one dangling from his key chain. Actually, there's been quite a turf war going on in the beer world for many decades. Way back in 1929. technicians at the American Can Company were trying to figure out how they could steal some business from the bottle makers who had the North American beer O ntario's Progressive Conservatives boast they are the only party that protects taxpayers' money, but they are 'ailing to deliver. The Tories, first under premier Mike Harris tnd now under Ernie Eves have talked more shan any other party about safeguarding the public purse. This theme runs through almost every line of their Common Sense Revolution orogram that won them two elections. They keep passing laws with such names as the Taxpayer Protection and Government Efficiency Acts. They have imposed so-called 'business plans' on every branch of every ministry detailing almost how to sharpen the pencils. Harris tried to suggest the Tories are more prudent than others by claiming "We are not government - we are the guys who came to fix government." Tory businessmen in government have long jeered that their Liberal and New Democrat opponents have 'never met a payroll,' the cardinal sin, and their latest cry is government must be 'accountable' with public money. But all the talk has not prevented spending excesses like those revealed in Hydro One, the provincially-owned electricity transmission network. According to government, the chief executive had an annual $2.18 million salary and perks including $214,000 in Car allowances plus $110,000 for limousines (you could run a formula one racing team for less) and membership in seven expensive clubs. The utility also spent '$360,000 to sponsor yacht racing, the CEO's favourite sport, and the elected Tories supposed to keep an eye on things appeared to know none of this until news media and opposition parties blew the whistle. ,.-. There have been other spending abuses that axpayers struggling to pay groceries can vadily -- appreciate. Two ministers, Chris Stockwell and Tim_Hudak, and their staffs had lefty bills for late-night drinks paid by the government. despite its policy of not reimbursing for alcohol, and others even billed for a fishing licence and chewing gum. market pretty well sewn up. Made economic sense when you think about it. Tin was cheaper than glass and much sturdier. The can weighed less, and stacked better. A beer truck could carry twice as many cans as bottles with no danger of breakage. There was just one tiny problem: those early tins reacted with the beer to make it taste like weasel urine. By 1934, the can makers figured they had solved that problem with a plastic lining that separated the beer from the metal. More and more brewers started switching over to cans. Then the bottle makers fought back with the stubby. It had the advantage of stackability plus it was a standardized unit for the entire industry - any brewing company could use any other brewing companies bottles and the customer would be none the wiser. The only disadvantage: the stubby was a squat little sucker and ugly as sin. I don't remember the Stubby as being 'beloved' as the Brick Brewing Company press release refers to it. I remember it as being All You Could Get. It hewed to the dictum announced by Henry Ford when he was unveiling his famous Model 'T"way back in Health Minister Tony Clement was found paying an aide $300,000-a-year, four times what such assistants normally are paid, the only explanation being he is a long-time Tory party worker. The Tories have not been reasonably alert in business dealings. They sold a piece of land for $1.27 million which the purchaser promptly resold for $3.9 million, and another for $1.92 million the lucky buyer resold for $4.39 million. They also privatized a stretch of the toll road Highway 407, part of which the purchaser resold for more than three times that amount. The Conservatives promised to make Ontario a good place for business, but did they have to make it this good? But no-one should be surprised by these misjudgments by Tories who claim to be businesslike. The last long-lived Tory government under William Davis, premier from 1971-85, started building a domed sports stadium in Toronto maintaining it would cost taxpayers only $30 million, but they wound up contributing $300 million before handing it over to private enterprise. Davis invested $800 million of taxpayers' money including interest buying shares of an oil company, supposedly to get an inside view of was going on in that industry at a time when he was worried about rising oil prices, but they Final Thought When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends. — Japanese Proverb the 20's. "Mister Ford, how many colours will your automobile come in?" a reporter wanted to know. "You can have any colour you like" grumped Mister Ford, "as long as it is black." And here we are in the new millennium being sold on the Stubby all over again. Oh, well. It's not as if we're going to be losing much. Nowadays, Canadian beer comes almost exclusively in a brown bottle with a long neck. That's just a Stubby with an erection. It'll probably be a hit, the Stubby. Bob and Doug Mackenzie wannabes will line up for the privilege of buying it by the case. Maybe it'll become a 'boutique beer' and they'll charge us even more for the privilege of sipping our beer from a no-neck bottle. Which reminds me of the story about the gorilla that walks into a tavern, sits down on a bar stool, puts down a $10 bill and points to the beer tap. The bartender picks up the 10, serves the beer, starts to get the change out of the cash register and then figures to himself what the hell, it's a gorilla. He brings the gorilla back one loony in change. The gorilla says nothing. Just sits there sipping his beer. Finally the bartender can't stand the tension anymore. He blurts "You know, we don't get too many gorillas in here." Gorilla says, "At nine bucks a beer. I'm not surprised". had to be sold in a depressed market for a loss of $410 million. Davis put another $140 million in an agency he set up to design and sell innovative, high- tech rail commuter systems around the world, but packed this in and sold it for a mere $30 million. He also took over a bankrupt resort and poured $40 million into it trying to make it workable, but eventually it was sold to private enterprise for a paltry one-tenth that amount. Tories when they get in power prove not as smart at business as they claim and in business dealings they often get stung. They tend to want to help out business, whose donations help put them in government, and they are more tolerant of big-business types they hire to help run government and fail to keep watch on them. The Tories for a lot of reasons have not been the defenders of the public purse they claim to " be - you would not want them as your financial advisers. Letter THE EDITOR, On behalf of the Alzheimer Society of Huron County I would acknowledge the Clinton Raceway, and the following sponsors: Molson's, Canadian Sportsman, Fleming Feed Mill, Hyndman Transport. Deli-Licious, Green Gallery. Dinney Funeral Home, Blyth Festival, Stone Garden Bed & Breakfast, Royal Bank of Clinton and all those who purchased tickets for your generous support and contribution to Alzheimer Huron's first annual Day at the Races held June 23 at Clinton Raceway. A total of $2,942 was raised to help support local programs for the residents of Huron County affected by Alzheimer Disease and provide "Help for today and Hope for Tomorrow." Sincerely, Theresa Wilson Fund Development Co-ordinator Alzheimer Society of Huron County. Change will be good Summers in Sauble. A cottage. a friend, the beach, sand and surf. Touring the strip, games of mini-golf, flipping on the trampolines, long • walks and roller skating. French fries, milkshakes and ic6-cream cones consumed in abundance. After all, at 10 there's no concern about a girlish figure. For a youngster it was a carefree, time, two weeks of bliss which in the beginning stretched endlessly. Only in the final day did the hours move into fast forward, but until then the summer vacation was nothing but joy, For a youngster. With typical childhood self-indulgence, that perfect idyllic summer sojourn practised annually by my family, was viewed by myself as something equally relaxing to all. Goodness knows Mom and Dad always seemed to enjoy themselves, nothing to stress them but whether or not the sun would shine that day. Yeah, right. As children we spend a lot of our time wishing we were older, so we could do all the things that grown-ups can. Well, let me tell you, I'm an adult now and this growing up isn't all it's cracked up to be. The responsibilities we deal with don't go away just because we're on vacation. In the weeks prior to our family vacation, 1, as a child, did much of what I would on holiday, only at home. My day began with breakfast, then fun outdoors with friends until bedtime. It was a good thing too, because Mom and Dad were tired and grumpy and never seemed to have any time for anything. 1 couldn't imagine what they were so busy doing. After all, they were soon going to get a nice, long break. , As a child on vacation, my days were filled with any activity that could amuse me — safely, of course. I was always accompanied by a friend who helped to keep me ,mtertained and out of the adults' way so they could have fun with their friends. They were always busy cooking for a Dig meal, or staying up late with visitors. It was go, go, go. Then the last Saturday morning at the cottage, we rose early and after a hurried breakfast, my friend and I were again hustled away. And it was such a nuisance because any time we wanted something it seemed we were in big trouble. We were yelled at for tracking in dirt or rooting for things that had been packed away. I could never understand it. because Mom and Dad sure didn't seem all that rested after *just having a holiday. Now, I'm the grown-up. No more hopping into a packed car with not a care in the world. Prior to the holiday I begin this week. I have been running around in circles tieing up loose ends — appointments that need to be made, mail that needs to be sent, bills that need to be paid. , There has been extra laundry to do and pack away for the trip, groceries to buy, food to prepare, and more packing. There have been lists and phone calls made, instructions left. Once there, there will be meals to prepare, cleaning to do. places to run. There will be people to entertain, late nights and early mornings. . When I get home there will be unpacking, straightening and laundering, which will be finished in time for work. I suppose to a child I will not h)ok like I had much fun. But, as a grown-up I know that the change, however hectic. did me good. It just wasn't as easy as when I was a kid. rin and beer it Safeguarding the public