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THE CITIZEN,WEDNESDAY,JUNE 12,2002.PAGE 5
I'm shocked and a-polled
We're only about half-way through
2002, but I think I've already
spotted my nomination for funniest
news story of the year. It's the one that
informed us that Prime Minister Chretien was
"shocked" to learn that 69 per cent of
Canadians think federal politics is corrupt.
Shocked? Donnez-moi un break. Jean.
This was the same week Canadians found
out that the Feds had been shovelling millions
of bucks into a public relations firm in
Montreal - mostly for services never rendered.
It was the same week we learned that we'd be
paying $100 million for two swanky new jets
to whisk the PM, his family and friends hither
and yon.
(Our armed forces have been forced to fight
a war in aged Sea King helicopters — decrepit
buckets of bolts that spend more time falling
out of the sky than flying anywhere, but that's
okay, the Big Boys in the PMO are safe and
comfy. )
It was just a few months after the Liberal
public works minister and shameless Liberal
bagman Alfonso Gagliano was caught with his
hand in the patronage till.
Was he fired? Brought up on charges? Nah,
he was shuffled off to Denmark where he
continues to haul down a huge salary and live
in the ambassador's residence for which you
and I pick up the tab.
Not that the Liberals have any corner on the
corruption racket. Remember Preston
Manning back when he first led the Reform
posse into Ottawa?
Preston's number one promise to the party
faithful: it was a dang sure certainty that he
wouldn't be bedding down at the plush official
You have probably heard or used the
expression "tilting at windmills"
which describes an action that has
little, if any, chance of success.
If you have, you may or may not know that
this expression came from a book written
several centuries ago by a Spanish author who,
were he alive today, would have been
immensely pleased to learn that his book has
just been named the best book in history. The
selection was made by a world panel of writers
from 54 countries and to illustrate how
strongly they felt about their choice, the book
gained 50 per cent more votes than the number
two on the list.
The author in question, Miguel de
Cervantes, was born in the 16th century, and
his book, Don Quixote, (pronounced
Keyhotay) saw the light of day in 1605 after
Cervantes failed to be successful in his serious
writing. If Spanish readers could not warm up
to this sort of writing, he reasoned, he would
give them something entirely different —
comedy.
Thus he created a hairbrained knight who,
after reading all sorts of romantic stories about
knights in action and wishing fervently to
imitate them, went about the countryside
carrying out deeds unsuited for any real knight.
Like many a modern comedian, Cervantes
felt his hero, if that is what he can be called,
needed a straight man, and so Sancho Panza, a
simple villager was created to accompany him.
Panza dutifully followed his master around
the Spanish countryside, trying to bring a
measure of balance into Quixote's many
extremes, with varying degrees of success.
It is during one of these extremes that the
famous "windmill tilting" scene came into
being. Quixote, in spite of his servant's
exhortations to the contrary, imagined in the
windmill's turning arms an enemy who wanted
to challenge him to a fight. He rushed off the
Arthur
Black
residence for the Leader of the Opposition. No
sirree - this was a party for the common .
people.
Within a matter of weeks, Preston had
forsaken the Holiday Inn in favour of shacking
up in Stornaway.
Then there was that great Progressive
Conservative Lucien Bouchard. Oops, I mean
Independent member ... no, make that Parti
Quebecois leader...
During his years in federal politics,
Bouchard changed partners more"often than a
$2 taxi dancer.
He began his political career by swearing
allegiance to Canada as its ambassador to
France. Five years later he was leading a party
dedicated to the country's destruction.
No, you don't have to be a federal Liberal
politician to be corrupt - but you would have to
be awfully naïve (or have enough chutzpah to
fill a Shawinigan swimming pool) to be
"shocked" that seven out of 10 Canadians
detect an overripe odour emanating out of
Ottawa.
Personally, I'd like to meet the 31 per cent
that believe federal politics is pure as the
Gatineau Hills snow.
Perhaps they're the same folks who voted in
another recent poll about federal politics - the
Raymond
Canon
The
International
Scene
do battle only to have the windmill
continuously knock his sword out of his hand.
To his despair, Quixote lost every battle with
it.
So popular was Cervantes' portrayal of such
a character that the work soon became
translated into a number of other languages
and the author resolved to write yet another
volume about his hero. The second one was ten
years in the making and even today there are
varying opinions as to which of the two is
better.
Like many a person in real life who learns
something from his or her escapades, both Don
Quixote and Sancho come out in the second
part a little wiser and perhaps even a bit sadder.
In spite of his peasant background, Sancho is
sent off as a reward to be governor of an island
on which he has set his sights.
Don Quixote, on the other hand, goes back
home a defeated man and has only Sancho to
console him. However, like a number of other
heros in world literature, he comes to his
senses shortly before he dies and repents of all
his excesses.
Cervantes, too, did not live long after the
completion of his work. He did, however, die
knowing that his work had become world
famous. What a joy it would have been for him
to know that four centuries later it would
progress to the highest level.
Perhaps part of the book's fame may be due
to the touch of Don Quixote that many of us
one that concludes that nearly half of
Canadians can't tell the Canadian Alliance
from the New Democratic Party.
Politically speaking, 47 per cent of citizens
polled couldn't distinguish their Left from
their Right.
The pollster who conducted the survey says
the lack of understanding shows "Canadians
are not easily grouped into ideological
packages".
I'd say it shows that the citizens polled are
dumber than a bag of hammers, but perhaps
that's too harsh. After all, it's hard to tell Left
from Right these days.
The Netherlands used to have a right(?) wing
politician named Pim Fortuyn - who was
openly gay and opposed Muslim immigration
because he felt it threatened Dutch traditions
of feminism and sexual tolerance.
Sounds like a cross between S vend
Robinson and Myron Thompson.
Unfortunately, Mister Fortuyn managed to
irritate a left(?) wing vegetarian, animal-rights
activist who promptly shot him to death.
Left, right, right, left - who can tell anymore?
We're talking about people who will
basically stand wherever they have to and say
whatever they must to get your X on a piece of
paper.
And apparently, that's just about all they
have to do.
In 1994 a candidate by the name of Jacob
Haugaard ran for election in Denmark on a
campaign platform that included promises to
deliver better weather, shorter line-ups,
tailwinds for cyclists and the right of men to be
impotent.
Haugaard won with 23, 211 votes.
have in us from time to time. I must confess
that I started to become more enamoured of
him the day that I was asked by an American
publisher to write the introduction to a modern
translation. In preparing this I became more
acutely aware of al' the windmills at which I
had tilted with no more success than Quixote.
I had first studied the book during my
student days in Spain and, by the time I
submitted my introduction, the good Don had
become one of my favourite literary
characters. He has remained so to this day.
In writing this article, I couldn't help but
wonder what some of the other selections of
the panel had been. I took a peek and found
that three of Shakespeare's plays made it on
the short list as did four books by Dostoyevsky
as well as works by Tolstoy, William Faulkner
and Virginia Woolf.
I also discovered that Cervantes had another
achievement to his credit; only the Bible has
exceeded his book in the number of languages
in which it has been translated.
If only his descendents could claim the
royalties!
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Finding others
Solitude lies at the lowest depth of the
human condition. Man is the only being
who feels himself to be alone and the
only one who is searching for the Other:
— Octavio Paz
My husband and I found ourselves one
recent weekend evening sans children or
children's children. The situation provided me
with an opportunity to satisfy a chronic
craving — my yen for Chinese food.
As we entered the restaurant we saw, sitting
alone, an old and dear friend, who was
widowed several years ago. She too had a yen,
but, she told us, could not face the prospect of
eating by herself in a restaurant, so was here
waiting for her takeout order.
Putting myself in her place I could
somewhat empathize with what she was
feeling. I have on rare occasion for reasons
beyond my control, had to dine by myself. And
while I have come to feel less self-conscious,
there is still a level of discomfiture
experienced.
But, at least I know that the times for this are
the exception, not the norm. After leaving our
friend and talking about how difficult it must
be for people who find themselves suddenly
facing life without a soulmate, my husband
raised an interesting question. Would she have
been as bothered about dining alone if her
husband was still alive? There is after all, only
one difference between being alone and
feeling alone — how you view it.
Some of us, if we had our way, would never
be alone. It is a state I appreciate only when I
don't realize it's happening. I have lived in a
full house for my entire life. The idea of quiet
and solitude, therefore, is great in theory, but
usually in practice has me feeling at a bit of a
loss.
Yet, with the passing of years, I have
adapted. I still experience a mild panic at the
first hint that I may be by myself. But, now.
after a few deep breaths, a little rational
thought, I learn to make the best of it. Just me
in my domain, I have come to realize, means
crackers, cheese and wine for supper, a good
book or sappy movie, bubblebaths and
candlelight.
A mudpack on my face.
Singing at the top of my lungs and dancing
to my music.
The best part, however, is knowing that
solitude too shall pass. It's a treat only because
the masses will return and take over the
domain. My aloneness will end and it is really
only that for me, which makes it tolerable in
the first place.
Of, course, not everyone is like me. Some
people quite enjoy their own company. Two
acquaintances of mine think nothing of
attending a movie by themselves or of going to
dinner alone if they can't find a date. Another
friend, getting her hands on a free ticket to the
Stratford Festival had absolutely no problem
with taking in the evening performance
unaccompanied. Yet another woman I know
actually craves time alone, to the point she
frequently takes off on solo adventures.
Some people spend many years living alone,
others relish rare solitary times. They -have
found a comfort level, I suppose, an accept-
ance of solitude as an opportunity rather than
a lack of choice.
And yet, as we all know you can have too
much of anything. We all feel alone from time
to time. Most of us are fortunate because in
our search we usually find not just the 'Other'
but many others to help fill our lives.
Talk about tilting at windmills