HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2002-05-22, Page 5THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, MAY 22, 2002. PAGE 5.
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Extraordinary how potent cheap music is.
-- Noel Coward
S it Noel was bang on the money with that
one. A simple jingle can be a cultural
powerhouse. A song doesn't have to be
well-sung or well-crafted to be pack a punch.
The lyrics to Happy Birthday are inane to the
point of fatuity, but we've all sung-it dozens of
times, and enjoyed every performance.
The song We Will Rock You could have been
written by a tone-deaf 12-year-old, but fans
never tire of roaring that anthem en masse at
hockey games and soccer matches.
The power of even a mediocre song can be
enormous. It can cheer us up or bum us out, It
can inspire or infuriate us; fill us with joy or
heartbreak.
Or even kill us.
You think I exaggerate? Tell it to the judge -
the judge in Manila in the Philippines, who
just got through sentencing another Filipino
for murder.
The defendant had been singing My Way in a
karaoke bar, much to the derision of another
patron who laughed and jeered at his vocal
stylings.
So the crooner pulled out a .38 Smith and
Wesson and croaked him.
Hey, My Way is a treacly gobbet of
sentimental goo even when Sinatra sings it.
Nobody should have to hear it sung well, never
mind badly.
Perhaps it was really a mercy killing.
Overcapacity
The last few months have been a good
time to buy a car. With interest rates
down to rock-bottom levels and a glut
of cars on the market due to the economic
downturn which started last year, consumers
have had a dazzling range of cars, vans and the
like from which to choose; these two
conditions should prevail for the next few
months, if not longer.
Economists freely admit that the favourable
conditions for buying a new car have had a
notable positive effect on the economy as a
whole. Last fall the most frequently heard
comment was the question how long the
recession was going to last and how deep it
would be.
Six months later the evidence is that we have
not only avoided a deep recession, we have not
even had one at all. For this we can partially
thank the auto industry and, while we are at it,
the housing industry that also benefited from
those low, low interest rates.
All in all, a fine example of monetary policy
in action..
Would that these favourable rates and ready
consumers would solve all the problems of the
automobile industry. Those happy faces in the
advertising sections of the various media who
tell you that now is a great time to buy are
masking worried looks on the faces of those in
the industry that have to make all the hard
decisions.
For openers the industry is still plagued by
overcapacity. Even with the recent
announcement of closures, there are too many
factories in North America, Europe and
elsewhere capable of churning out cars and
trucks to meet the foreseeable demand for such
products.
When the recent cutbacks were announced,
there was the predictable wailing and gnashing
of. teeth. In Europe where labour markets are
considerably more rigid than they are here, the
protest took on considerably more political
action with mixed success.
Yet each auto manufacturer still appears to
have the conviction that it is the others who are
Bad music hath charms to sooth the most
savage of breasts - and beasts.
Researchers at the National Sea Life Centre
in Birmingham, England had a problem — 10
sharks (five male, five female) which didn't
want to play house. Try as they might they
could not induce or entice the finny brutes to
heed the call of nature and swim forth and
multiply.
Then they discovered Barry White.
Yes, that Barry White - the oleaginous, gold-
chain-swaddled tune merchant whose gag-
prompting ballads slimed up the music charts
back in the sleazy Sixties.
The researchers discovered that Barry White
recordings, played underwater, nudged the
sharks into behavior patterns that looked a lot
like piscatorial foreplay.
A spokesman for the Centre said that the
previously monk-like sharks "did seem a bit
more excited, chasing one another around the
tank" after hearing a couple of White CDs.
Well, I durum. I believe if I was forced to
listen to an endless tape loop of Barry White
warbling Can't Get Enough Of Your Love,
still plaguing
Raymond
Canon
The
International
Scene
going to have to make the sacrifice. In the
meantime they are all trying to get their costs
into line as they try to increase market share.
This "market share" is like a mantra; big
business seems to feel that if they chant it often
enough, it will come true. Unfortunately the
sum total of all their chanting comes to about
150 per cent of the total market.
Another mantra that has joined the more
commonly heard ones is the vast market which
China offers to the industry. The thought of
half a billion Chinese wanting to drive a car
would make anybody sit up and take notice but
the sad fact is that we have been hearing
dreams about that wonderful Chinese market
for decades; very seldom have the dreams of
any western industrialist been realized.
Nor are they likely to in the near future.
Even though China has joined the World Trade
Organization, it will likely want to
manufacture cars there under licence from
known auto manufacturers. Since Chinese
wages are rock bottom, this will keep the
prices within reach of the Chinese public.
Babe and You're The First, the Last, My
Everything, I'd be thrashing around mindlessly
and going berserk too.
I don't think the Sea Life Centre has an
outbreak of shark foreplay on its hands — I
think it's a case of Aquarium Rage.
Paula Wolf could relate to that. Paula is a
housewife in the town of Poppleton, in
England. •
Correction: Paula used to be a housewife.
She is now separated from her husband and
seeking divorce.
The reason? He refuses to stop imitating Roy
Orbison. Four years ago, somebody convinced
Dave Wolf that he sounded just like the
American singer. Dave liked the idea so much
he quit his job and went on the road as an
Orbison impersonator.
"It just can't go on," Paula said. "I do like
some of the songs, but it all got to be too much.
He's more devoted to Roy than to me."
No need to explain, Paula. I'm surprised you
didn't drive him up to Birmingham and push
him into the shark tank. Bad music - or even
mediocre music badly performed - can bring
out the worst in anyone.
Take my pal Eddie, the guy in the next
office. He loves the theme song from The
Titanic. Matter of fact, he's whistling it right
now.
And has been for the past two hours.
Good old Eddie, Sounds like he's having the
time of his life,
Which is good, because it's almost over.
auto industry
So far, so good but what happens when
someone gets the bright idea that, say, GM,
Ford, or any other company for that matter,
Can have the cars manufactured in China for
sale in North America.
You might not even know it. To drive home
this point, ask yourself if you know precisely
where the car you are currently driving was
made. I recall a segment on 60 Minutes where
an executive from Chrysler was bragging
about the wonderful quality of one of his
company's sports cars and that it was
indicative of what was being turned out in the
U.S.
When asked precisely where the car was
made, so that credit could be given on the air
to the workers responsible for such quality, he
mumbled a lot but finally had to admit that the
car was made in Windsor and not in the U.S. at
all.
Or take another example. The Volkswagen
you drive may not be one at all, at least one
from Germany. It may really be a SkOda and
produced (more cheaply) in the Czech
Republic. The word Skoda is taken off and the
word Volkswagen replaces it.
It is also possible that the car you drive may
be what I call a United Nations vehicle. While
it was assembled in one country, the parts in it
may come from plants in several other
countries.
But, regardless of where a car is made, there
are still too many of them being turned out and
somewhere, sometime, something has to give.
I am Alpha
She arrived a tiny, clingy bundle.
Frightened, torn from all that in her few
short weeks of life had become familiar,
she snuggled for comfort. Her piercing cries of
loneliness and fear wrenched the heart in the
late night hours ,,,
It didn't take long, however, for her to forget
her brief past and settle in. An energetic,
attention grabbing bundle of fur, our new pup
soon had control of all and all around her. And
worse yet, she knew it.
From the minute I laid eyes on Ani, it was
slavic devotion. Arriving at our home three
and a half years ago, she helped to fill the
every increasing emptiness of my nest.
However, as she grew it was soon apparent
that her dominance, her bad manners weren't
endearing her to anyone but me.
And when it came to bad manners, Ani had
them all. From her husky mother she was
genetically programmed to bay at the moon
from time to time. From her father of unknown
origins, came her desire to bark at all the other
times. She liked to dig. She'd bolt when the
door was open. Others traits, such as her
aggressive play, her nervousness or her
begging for food, I will blame my husband for.
But most of the rest I have come to learn were
probably as a result of me.
From the beginning I wanted to enroll Ani in
obedience school. I had worked with her on
my own, but it was becoming clear that her
issues were bigger than the both of us. Then
there were those who scoffed telling me that
any dog with husky in them was too
domineering to be taught. Add to this the
problem of my schedule and the fact that
classes were miles away and it was never
going to happen. I just didn't have the time.
Then this year, Huron East rec department
offered dog obedience training right in my
own town. No more procrastinating, no more
excuses. I knew I had to make my move before
it was too late Neither Ani nor I were getting
any younger or any more patient.
And I have to tell you that it was the best
investment I have made. The leaders, a couple
based in the Seaforth area, were great, the
classes fun and well run.
But most importantly I learned a great deal.
Which is the whole point of dog training, of
course. It has very little to do with the pooch
and quite a bit to do with the people who look
after them.
One of the first bits of information to prove
incredibly helpful was about essentially
putting Ani in her place. She needed to know
in no uncertain terms exactly who really was
the boss. At our first class I was informed that
letting her lead the way put her in the position
of dominance. She was Alpha.
So I stopped her from going upstairs and
through doorways before me. I made her wait
until I was done eating before I let her eat. I
spent a lot of time making her lie down
because this is a submissive position.
Within just one week I could sense a change
in her attitude — toward me at least. And by
the end of the 10-week session, I knew that
with continued perseverance on my part. using
the lessons I had learned, Ani's manners would
continue to improve.
Perseverance is what counts. Training a dog
is never complete. If I lapse, so will Ani. And
I can't let that happen. I rather like being
Alpha.
bad for your health?
Arthur
Black
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