HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2002-03-27, Page 5THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, MARCH 27, 2002. PAGE 5.
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Come on, let's get McReal
Are you old enough to remember when
the sign over the Golden Arches would
read "40 MILLION SOLD" or "80
MILLION SOLD"?
: Man, you're pretty old. Those signs were
reading "50 BILLION SOLD" 'way back in
1984. Ever since, if they bother to mention it at
all, the signs just say "BILLIONS AND
BILLIONS SOLD". .
I always feel a twinge of pride when I read
those numbers. And I always say to myself
"Yup, and I only bought one of them." That's
the sum total of burger transactions between
me and the folks at McDonald's - one sad and
solitary Big Mac purchased in Thunder Bay,
Ontario, back in the late 70s - and I ditn't even
eat it, at that.
That's because I made the mistake of looking
inside my burger before biting. into it. I still
remember hoovering off that bun top and
peering down at the scientifically calibrated
swirl of goop lathered across the top of the
McMeat patty. •
It looked to me like the sight that greets you
when you take the lid of a can of old paint
that's been sitting in the garage for a couple of
years. I closed the burger, hooped it into the
McTrash bin and walked out, ,-
Okay, I may have used the washroom first.
McDonald's has great washrooms.
And I don't really mean to single out
McDonald's. They're no worse (or better) than
the plague of Arby's, Denny's, Burger Kings, A
and W's, Wendy's and Hardees ad nauseam
that mottle the Canadian landscape.
But make no mistake: it's not food they're
offering, it's Nearfood. Mostly oversweetened,
Some time ago I wrote about the
beginnings of the production of beer and
indicated that it had something to do with
the production of food. It may have got side-
tracked a bit along the way but it did have
ingredients which were closely identified with
the nutritious value of the current food.
I should like to do the second part of this
discussion, one which looks at the origins of
wine. Sine enough, it, too, has some human
value and in this case it is more so for its
medicinal value, both at the time of the
Romans and in the year 2002.
• In short, it just won't go away.
Any history of wine would not be complete
without the story of Galen, who was. the
imperial physician to the Roman emperor,
Marcus Aurelius, in the 2nd century Ap.
Galen had already seen that wine had the
ability to disinfect wounds, and was further
convinced that it had medicinal powers as well.
True to his task, he proceeded to engage in one
of the first known wine-tasting tests by
sampling all those available, just to make sure
that the emperor had the best medicine
available.
He probably settled on products from the
Falerian region near Naples since it was
generally considered that the finest wines came
from there.
You would think that the Romans would
spare no effort to sample the quality to its
fullest; on the contrary they never drank wine
by itself; -such a practice was considered
barbaric. Instead they diluted it with 'various
amounts of other ingredients; the most likely
one was water with a ratio of 3 parts water to 1
part' wine. Not only did it give them greater
quantities but it also made the water safer to
drink. .
This latter property was important in the
groWing Roman cities and, as I explained in
my article on beer, it is still valuable today.
I haVe drunk both wine and beer in 'various
places in the Mediterranean and the Middle
East whereI simply did not trust the- water.
Would you believe that during Roman times
wine was also mixed with seawater, a move
Arthur
Black
empty calories that are building us a nation -
hell, a world - of doughy, overstuffed, but
underfed, children.
The fast food chains have done to food what
Henry Ford did to cars - and what our it-is-to-
laugh brewmasters have done to beer. Aside
from microbrewers, who, God bless 'em,
actually care how their product looks and
tastes, most of the folks who make our beer
could be turning out laundry soap, ceiling tiles
or diet cola for all the subtleties of taste they
deliver.
You know and I know that if somebody lined
up eight or nine Dixie cups filled with
mainstream Canadian beer in front of an
average customer and asked them to identify
each one, most folks couldn't pick out the 50
from the Canadian from the Kokanee from the
Ex from the Blue.
That's because the mainstream beer makers
stopped selling beer long ago.
What they sell now is...advertising. I once
asked an ad executive why Canadian beer-
makers spent hundreds of thousands of dollars
each year sending off film crews as far as
Australia to shoot elaborate, frothy, feelgood
TV beer commercials.
"Because all (mainstream) beer is the same"
Raymond
Canon
The
International
Scene
that was supposed to "enliven the wine's
smoothness" according to the writer Pliny.
They even went further by mixing snow, honey,
'herbs and spices, the latter two to mask the fact
that the wine was turning to vinegar.
Since wine could not be kept for long periods
of time, it is not surprising that such steps were
taken to get rid of wine "on the edge".
The Romans would not be totally surprised,
I am sure, if they were to know that today's
study of the properties of wine show that daily
consumption of moderate quantities of red
wine can be said to reduce the incidence of
heart attacks by as much as 40 per cent. Don't
Continued from page 4
most readily admit they would not be able to
represent their individual concerns and issues
to government officials. That's_why general
farm organizations like OFA exist, so why the
reluctance to play an active role In supporting
this work -that farmers do on behalf of other
farmers`'
Commodity organizations work with
governments too, but usually to deal only with
commodity-specific matters. That's where
general farm organizations come into the
picture — to pressure governments at all levels
to consider the best interests of the agricultural
community that aren't directly linked to• a
particular commodity.
Respondents were also invited to list
reasons they didn't want to support the Ontario
Federation of Agriculture. Replies under this
heading covered a broad spectrum of thinking.
he said. "It looks the same and it tastes the
same. So what we're really selling is the label."
But I'm off on my Whateverhappenedto-
goodor beer rant - what I was talking about
was fast food outlets and what they've done to
the concept of eating out. It's not just the fare
they serve, it's the whole experience. You don't
get served at fast food joints • - you get
processed. Everything is designed to get you
in, fill your order, take your money and move
you out as fast as possible. The mustard,, relish
and catsup dispensers are strategically placed
for maximum efficiency. The tables and chairs
are welded to the floor so as not to interfere
with traffic flow.
Well, you know what? Eating a restaurant
meal isn't supposed to be the equivalent of a
pit stop at the Indy 500. It's meant to be joyous
and leisurely with conversation and laughter -
even singing. And I believe that somewhere
deep in the cortex -of our lizard brains we all
remember that.
They're remembering at the McDonald's
outlet in Dayton, Tennessee. Every Thursday
night the restaurant hosts a two-hour show of
gospel and bluegrass music. ' Visitors are
encouraged to sing along as they chomp their
Big Macs and sip their Slurpees. And you know
what? The restaurant does 5 to 10 per cent more
business on Thursday compared to any other
night of the week. And it's catching. The
Hardee's down the road is launching a special-
menu-gospel-music show for Tuesday nights.
The greening of fast food - who'da thunk?
Interesting concept — Mahalia and Bill
Monroe with your EggMcMuffin. You want
fries with that?
be surprised if some day you see some
advertising suggesting that a specific red wine
has better success in doing just that than other
wines. For all I know, it could well be one
stocked by the LCBO.
In the meantime we would also not be
surprised to learn that wine experts, like their
beer counterparts, are trying to recreate Roman
wines. One of the resqlts is a white wine that is
lightly flavoured with salt water, another has
spices and honey added to it.
If you want to try a Roman aperitif, mix half
a cup of honey with a bottle of white wine and
refrigerate. I won't tell you how I made out but
I would be interested in hearing youlr findings.
Another expert argues that the closest
modern wines get to their Roman counterparts
are found in young, sweet white wines made in
Germany or near the French town of Vouvray.
As far as red wines are concerned, the closest
are Italian made with the Aglianico grape.
I went to the Moselle River in Germany to
try the white wines suggested abo-ve. I did not,
however, add any water.
Some reflected individual issues from the
distant past where someone wasn't satisfied
with a personality representing OFA at that
time, and continue to hold that reasoning as
justification -to request a refund:
Others made the observation that Ontario's
farm organizations won't work together to take
a single voice to governments. That's a
legitimate observation that can only be
corrected when enough farmers work' from
within their organizations to direct their
leaders to understand and respect the need to
change the situation.
These responses have been informative to
read, and the suggestions will be considered as
OFA strives to meet the needs and expectations
of Ontario farmers.
By Jack Wilkinson,
President, Ontario Federation of
Agriculture.
Bonnie
Gropp
The short of it
Not this time
Mother Nature does have a demented
sense of humour. For the first day of
spring she brought us some of the
worst weather of winter, wrathful, without
warmth. ./
Having heard promises of an early arrival of
the greening season, this latest blast was• a
spiteful reminder that the matriarch of our
environment answers to no one. A fanciful
creature she can be in turn charming and
loathsome, but always surprising, always in
charge.
It wasn't just humans caught off guard by
her latest joke. I watched, and felt so badly for
a rather expectant robin shivering as she
sought shelter in the tiny but sturdy branches
of a hydrangea shrub. Snow covered her dinner
table, and it will be quite some time before
there is a variety of suitable housing materials
available as they lie hidden and frozen.
For us, however, the big issue is generally
about travel. We have our cozy homeS, and we
can always find sustenance. But, society does •
nothing anymore which doesn't require
getting from one place to another.
And having endured months of Mother
Nature's capricious nature, I for one was not
the least amused by her latest whim.
Heading to work on Friday as squalls and
snow showed little hint of abating, I slithered
along on slippery roads, bounced through
drifts, and gazed bleary-eyed through a usually
thin, but often heavy veil of white; Key to my
purpose was the driving need to get to the
office, organize some tasks and complete
others. Some things just simply can't get done
at home.
However, there are others which can, and it
with wi h this thought that I piled some .t
projects over by my coat, ready for a getaway,
because I had decided enroute, I was heading
back as soon as possible. There was no way I
was going to risk getting caught by
deteriorating weather, or worse, stuck away
from home.
It's interesting that when I consider a
vacation, time away from work, the last place
I want to spend it is home. Yet, when blocked
roads mean a sleepover, there is a frustration.
This is no rest from the commonplace, no
adventure. I want my own cozy four walls. I
want to provide my own sustenance.
There's always been something about being
trapped away in a snowstorm which raises my.
panic level. I remember travelling a closed
highway so that I wouldn't have to spend a
weekend away from home. Seeing the sign of
my town brought tears to my eyes. Yet,
weakness was soon replaced by the confidence
of success. I did make it, atter all, stupid
though it may have been to try.
On another occasion, friends and 1 were
caught in Michigan, and despite warnings to
stay put, fought the weather in increments to
get back to our families. We arrived no sooner
than if we had waited until it all ended; but at
least we had a sense of purpose during those
three days.
I suppose that is the frustration. The
situation is out of my control.
Well, Mother Nature may have had a good
chuckle this past week, but I still have sonic
power. It was with a sense of satisfaction that
as she raged, and ranted, I worked and
watched front home. She didn't catch me this
time.
Will that be red or white?
Letter to the Editor