HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2002-03-20, Page 5Bonnie
Gropp
The short of it
THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, MARCH 20, 2002. PAGE 5.
Other Views
. in tragedy, every moment is eternity.
In comedy. eternity is a moment.
— Christopher Fry
in the early spring of 1996, tragedy fell on
64-year-old Mavis Pickett like a Mack
true kful of boulders.
It arrived in the form of a telephone call from
a policeman in Whistler, B.C. Her 30-year-old
daughter, also named Mavis, was dead. She
had tumbled off a cliff while skiing at
Blackcomb mountain.
"She was my soulmate" remembers Mavis
senior. "We- could finish each other's
sentences."
Poised on the cusp of senior citizenry, when
life is supposed to smooth out and become
simplified and pleasant, Mavis was instead
plunged into a whirlpool of misery, faced with
an unthinkable, inconsolable loss. So the grey-
haired, bespectacled grandmother did the only
thing she could.
She became a standup comic.
Actually, it was an accident. Searching for
some kind of relief from her pain, Mavis came
across a night school brochure offering a
course in grief management through humour.
She signed up. •
At her first class, her heart fell when she
discovered she'd enrolled not in a lecture
series, but in a standup comedy workshop.
"Not for me," she thought firmly. She was no
standup comedian. She was - a retired
elementary school teacher for heaven's sake.
She tried to withdraw from the course. The
How time flies! It is hard to believe that
it was 30 years ago - since the
- Americans first landed a man on the
moon and, in so doing, beat the Russians in
what had been a frantic race to get there first.
To be honest the Russians had had something
of a headstart and for a considerable time it
was generally believed in the West that they .
would win. So did the Kremlin, although at
first Krushchev and his astronauts refused- to
• take seriously the Americans' firm resolve to
achieve this goal.
I was in Moscow shortly after the Russians
had put a satellite, the Sputnik, into space
where it circled the planet. Since this beat any
effort by -some time on. the part of the
Americans, the Russians were, understandably,
quite ready to boast about their
accomplishment, although even before I left
the country, I was getting rather tired of
.hearing about it.
I consoled myself by thinking that the
Americans would have done the same thing,
perhaps even more so. -
I did, however, hear one joke which I thought
funny at the time and which has stuck with me
ever since. The Americans, said the Russians,
had created 'a newdrink called the Sputnik,
composed of 1/10th vodka and 9/10th sour
grapes.
Even when. I was there the Russians were
talking about how soon they would actually be
able to put a man into space and shortly after I
left Moscow they did. Some readers may recall - 7
his name, Yuri Gagarin.
It was this flight that spurred John Kennedy,
the then American president, to announce " a
._ great new American enterprise" that of landing
a Irian on_the moon and returning him safely
back borne within what must have seemed like
a short time frame of 10 years.
The • Russians were spending a terrible
amount of money that they couldn't afford just
trying to keep up with the Americans militarily.
Arthur
Black
teacher, sensing something special in
Mavis. begged her not to give up just yet — to
at least attend a couple'of classes and give it a
shot.
Turned out Mavis had superb natural timing
and a great stage presence.
She also had a personal comic motherlode of
material all to herself.
There's a hoary old adage for writers that
advises them to "Write about what you know."
Mavis decided she would take her
humourous material from an area of life that
she knew all about, that, curiously, no other
standup comedian was tackling: what it's like
to get older.
It became an absolute gold mine. Other
standup comics were screaming and yelling
about sex and booze and Osama bin Laden in
sulphurous X-rated rants. Mavis toddled out to
the microphone and 'talked in a sweet
voice about forgetfulness, decreased agility,
fading eyesight and other hurdles of advancing
age.
She never swears during her act, but she's
not exactly a goody-two-shoes out there on the
stage.
"Young people are really concerned about
Raymond
Canon
The
International
Scene
Matching this American endeavour would
stretch their budget to the breaking point but
three years after Kennedy's speech, the
Kremlin decided that it could not ignore the
challenge and the race was on.
How 'close did the Russians come?
Actually quite close! Before Neil Armstrong
was able to make his famous speech on the
moon's surface, the Russians had sent a
spacecraft to circle the moon and to broadcast
the Communists' anthem, the Internationale, to
the delight of the party members in the
Kremlin. They followed this by sending
another craft, filled with live turtles, which
orbited the moon and then returned safely with
its cargo.
A last minute problem with the vehicle
which was to put the astronaut on the moon
was the deciding fact-or. It gave the Americans
the break-they needed and in 1972 Armstrong
and Buzz Aldrin walked on the moon.
It is not generally known that, when the
Americans got word of the Russian difficulties,
-they offered to take a Soviet astronaut with
them on the historic trip. Krushchev turned it
down flat.
When the news broke, the Russians carried
the details in a short article tucked away in
Pravda, the official newspaper. Much greater
coverage was given in the same edition to the
achievements of 25 years of cqmmunism 'in
Poland.
After that it was ,all downhill in the Soviet
Union moon program. The head of their space
what old people think," she purrs into the
microphone. "Just the other day, my
granddaughter asked me 'Did you and Grandpa
have mutual orgasms?' And I said, well, no
dear. We had Metropolitan Life".
It didn't take the' world of standup long to
discover the fresh new voice coming out of
Vancouver. Mavis is 4 smash. She's appearing
at night clubs, cafes and conventions all over
the city and the lower mainland. She could
work just about every night if she wanted to,
but she doesn't.
She's got a real life. She also teaches osteo fit
classes to fellow seniors six days a week.
"That's where I pick up, some of my best
material," she says.
The best thing about Mavis? Her exit line.
Most standup comics invariably end their
routines with lame and hapless bailout lines
like "Hey, you've been a terrific audience.
Thangyuhverrrymuch."
Not Mavis. When she finishes her last joke,
she pauses, beams out at the audience and says
quietly, "Say goodnight, Mavis."
By this time, the audience is in love with the
woman. The whole room roars
'GOODNIGHT, MAVIS!" over their own
applause.
Except Mavis is not really talking to the
audience. She's talking to a specific person she
can see sitting and laughing in the front row.
It's Mavis Anne, her daughter. Mavis Pickett
is the only one who can see her, but that's
alright.
Say goodnight, Mavis.
mission was fired and, since the days of Stalin
were over, he was demoted to a minor teaching
post instead of executed.
The whole enterprise cost the U.S. close to
$40 billion. As for how much it cost - the
Russians, well, let's say that the billions they
spent and really could not afford made more of
a contribution to the eventual financial collapse
of the Soviet Union than it did to their
accomplishments.
Letter
Letters to the editor are a forum for public
opinion and comment. The views expressed do
not necessarily reflect those of this
publication.
THE EDITOR,
I have followed with much interest the
reports on the Huron Council council meeting
held at Benmiller Inn.
I have served for 40 years in elected
yositions, including six years on Huron County
council, which was an enlightenment.
I wish to commend those "new and
inexperienced" members of council who took
the initiative to engage a neutral person to
examine and report to council the management
process of our county.
A similar resolution was introduced and
processed by our council in 1997, but it was
cleverly smothered.
I am very curious to know what is meant and
intended by' "interaction". I hope' it
accomplishes something of value, and is not
just another ploy by some old experienced
councillors protecting their own turf and their
friends.
I are hoping that our councillors will stay on
course and that citizens who care about our
future will show them increased support.
Mason Bailey.
Wasn't that a game?
Well, wasn't that a game'? The
Brussels PeeWees were in a do-or-
die contest against Cayua for the
all-Ontario semi-finals and I was actually
there. The girl, who believes that, anything tied
to winter needs to be let loose by the beginning
of March, got roped in by her own curiousity.
My son and I both had appointments in
Stratford that night, so we were well aware the
best may have already happened before we
arrived at the arena. However, it turned out we
hadn't missed a thing.
Having spent a long day at work and on the
road, I originally was going to drop my boy off
and let him tell me about the game later. He
had been driving, so as I got out to switch
seats, I heard him ask the score of someone
outside. And then came the bellow. "Nothing,
nothing, because the refs stink!"
Okay, this sounds interesting, I think, so I
park and follow him in. We were there for the
start of the third and it didn't take long before
I was hooked. I don't know what went on
before, but the game I saw was a good one.
Missed calls went both ways, and the teams
were obviously closely matched as indicated
by the score as well as by the fact that the.)
series had taken them to this last chance game.
It was exciting, as well, to see so many .
people out to support these guys, whci were, as
my son and I noted after their victory in triple
overtime, at a nice age to have this happen —
old enough to have worked for it and young
enough to be truly thrilled by it.
It's nice for their fans too. I was thinking,
while sitting there, (.between lift off from the
bench in tense moments, that is) that while
smalltown folks iare proud of their small town,
they don't often get the chance to strut it for
other people. '1 hey take the ribbings ,about
being hicks, about having nothing to do.
But smalltown has its morne.its. II produces
its achievers and its heroes: NfiLer 'ohn
McIntyre, horn io .BrussTh, who deouted with
the Bruins, naucnal-wvel igure skaters, Kevin
Wheeler, Peter MacDonald and Kerrie
Shepherd, to.natne just a fey' Soccer, baseball
and hockey , teams have won Ontario
championships and WOAA titles.
"l'here were kids on that ice who could not
just hold their own against competitors from
bigger centres, but could outskate and outplay
them. The PeeWee Reps, whom I believe have
had better games than the one I saw, have the
potential to win it all when they face
Desoronto in the provincial playoffs.
'And right now, our small towns are shining
twice. The Blyth Midgets are also currently
facing-off in an , Ontario final against
Sunderland. I haven't seen this team perform
this year, but I have in the past. And seeing the
names which have consistently popped up in
sports reports over the years, I have little doubt
they are not -poMg to make it easy for their
opponent'..
Another good thing about smalltown is the
way we suppOrt each other. Having that behind
them is a bonus for these young players. And
trust .me when I say, that even if hockey's not
your thing, it would do you good to try and
take in one of the games. liunressive skatim!.
outstanding goaltending, and solid def:.ose
make for just part of the enjoyment.
What is most notable is the heart and soul
these young men put into their sport. the
determination and energy. To see that
rewarded with a title 'would he great, But it's
even better to reward them v, .th our interest.
Time to say goodnight, May-is
The race to put a man on the moon