The Citizen, 2001-11-14, Page 5THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 14, 2001. PAGE 5.
Other Views
A match made by Mattel
K
i
f
ds these days - whatta bunch of
whiners! "There are no opportunities
or us" they mewl. "We can't get
ahead. It's not like it was in your day."
Nonsense!
Why, all young people have to do is put their
shoulders to the wheel, their noses to the
grindstone, pull themselves up by their
bootstraps, put their heads down, their chins
up, their chests out, their stomachs in and,
and...
Follow the magnificent example of Cindy
Jackson.
Cindy is an apple-cheeked young farm girl
from the American Midwest who saw what she
wanted for herself and set about getting it.
I don't have a photograph of Cindy, but you
really don't need to see a snapshot. You'd know
Cindy the instant you saw her on the street.
. Because Cindy Jackson looks exactly like...er,
Barbie.
And that's no accident.
Cindy paid close to half a million bucks so
that she could look just like Barbie. The money
went for nose bobs, chin lifts, bum tucks and
boob jobs.
"I wanted to be Barbie," says the chirpy little
Have you become accustomed to turning
on your TV news and finding that the
lead items are a combination of
„accidents, shooting, hold-ups and the like. You
frequently have to wait for a while become the
first item of a positive nature comes on and
even then it is only a break before the second
round of negative news is presented.
To carry this line of negative thought even
further, we are more likely to believe
something bad about a person or a situation
than we are something positive. In spite of the
fact that our law states categorically that we are
innocent until proven guilty, people are
frequently tried and found guilty in the court of
public opinion before a judge ever gets around
to ruling on it.
-Finally, we also tend to accept pessimistic
projections, be they economic, political or
'scientific rather than give equal credence to
those of a positive nature.What needs to be
done at this point is to demonstrate that this
line of thinking gets us into believing some
highly unlikely scenarios.
Let me begin with the so-called population
explosion. To hear some "experts" tell-it, the
number of people on this planet is .going to
increase exponentially while the supply of food
will fail to keep pace by a wide margin.
The not unexpected ' result? Starvation of
massive proportions.
Reality is somewhat different.
In the 1960s the planet's population was
increasing by two per cent a year. However,
this increase has been decreasing steadily until
it is now about 1.25 per cent a year and it is
expected to be down to .5 per cent before the
middle of the century.
The population will, as a result, level off at
about 11 billion.
At the same time food production per year
since 1960 has increased by over 50 per cent.
As the production increases, prices drop,
something that has been going on for the last
century.
The number of those starving in developing
nations has decreased from 45 per cent in 1950
to 18 per cent today and it is expected to be at
about 6 per cent at the next quarter of a century.
While we certainly want to eradicate
starvation, let's not overstate the situation and
make all sorts of dire predictions.
On to another topic!
Take the Kyoto Protocol that has been very
blonde who used to be Cindy Jackson. "Now I
am. I'm just as plastic as she is. And it's
wonderful."
Silly and vacuous, you think? A pathetic
waste of money?
Obviously you're no visionary like Cindy.
This gal's turned her plasticizing experience
into a full time job. She's become a consultant
and advisor for other people contemplating
plastic surgery.
Which is how she met her Dream Guy. He
came through the door as a prospective client.
He told her he wanted to transform himself the
same way she had. In other words, he wanted
to become a Ken Doll.
It was polymerization at first sight. "Ken"
became Cindy's pet project.
"It's the most exciting thing I've done since
my own transformation," she says.
much in the news lately because of President
Bush's decision not to honour the American
agreement to implement it.
Such a decision bothers me because it
reflects the current U.S. tendency to reject
things that it dislikes even while it preaches the
opposite to the world.
However, I have found the protocol to be
greatly overrated in that its effect on the global
climate would be very small even if it were
totally implemented. One study shows that by
the end of this century implementing the Kyoto
Protocol Would decrease global warming only'
THE EDITOR,
We are writing to you in order to bring a
matter of great importance to the public's
attention. In December of 1997, with the
direction of then Foreign Affairs Minister
Lloyd Axworthy, the Government of Canada
guided 122 countries into an anti-landmine
treaty. This process, often referred to as the
"Ottawa Convention," encourages all nations to
stop producing, exporting and utilizing anti-
personnel mines.
Today, almost three years after the fact, we
are pleased to inform you that the "Ottawa
.Convention" has been immensely successful in
eliminating landmines. As a continuation of
this process and, in an effort to disarm
landmines already in the ground, we want to
take a minute to encourage you to participate in
the Night of 1000 DinnersTM campaign.
Landmines are among the cruelest of all
weapons because they do not recognize the
difference between the foot of a soldier and the
foot of • a child. They kill and maim
indiscriminately long after the warring soldiers
have left the battlegrounds. They are not only a
weapon of terror, but als%a huge impediment
to economic and social recovery. They kill
innocent people (many of them children) and
ruin entire societies.
The first thing Cindy did was send her
putative Ken clone off for a battery of
psychological profiles, just to make sure that
he wasn't, you know, some kind of nut.
Then the real work began.
Plastic surgeons were painstakingly
evaluated and selected for individual stages of
the coming transformation.
But that wasn't all the research Cindy and
her beau did. Hollywood magazines were also
consulted extensively.
And now, two years and roughly
$400,000 later, Cindy has the mannequin of
her dreams.
"He looks like no one else," says Cindy. He
looks like bits of other people put on to him.
We selected Brad Pitt's nose because he was
born with the best nose in Hollywood. We
selected Keanu Reeves' lips because the mouth
structure was similar. The cheekbones came
from Tom Cruise."
Every body part of this walking amalgam
comes from some idealized Hollywood model.
Well, almost every body part.
Cindy doesn't mention anything about the
brains.
Why is that not surprising?
from 2.1 per cent C to 1.9 per cent C.
Another study reveals that the protocol
would delay reaching the 2.1 per cent only by
six years. -
Again this is not to say that we should ignore
global warming, just make sure of our facts
right when we consider doing something about
it.
Similar comments could be made about such
things as loss of rainforests, pollution and the
cost of saving one year of a person's life.
If the latter sounds a bit confusing, let me
*give you an example.
How much does it cost to save one year of a
person's life by installing air-bags in cars?
Could more lives be saved elsewhere with a
similar amount of money?
Does that pique your curiosity?
I hope so because I will have more to say en
that in the near future. Thinking about global
warming and population growth should keep
you busy until then.
At this time, there are between 50 and 100
million landmines, in 70 countries, lying in
wait to kill innocent people and to destroy
lives.
Since the tragic events of Sept. 1I in the
United States, the world (including many of the
residents of Huron-Bruce) has asked, "how can
I contribute to fighting terrorism?"
In response, we would suggest - host a
dinner. Terrorists need tools like landmines to
create their devastation and havoc. By having a
dinner, in your home on Nov. 30, you, along
with your family and friends, are directly
contributing to the worldwide de-mining
operation and therefore reducing terrorism on a
global scale. This represents an opportunity for
you to do a very simple thing that will enhance
the quality of life for many innocent people all
over the world
Should you have any further questions about
Night of 1000 DinnersTM or the Canadian
Landmine Foundation, please call 1-866-611-
7669 (toll Jree) or visit the website at
www.1000dinoers.com
Sincerely,
Paul Steckle,
MP Huron-Bruce
Frank O'Dea, President and CEO
Canadian Landmine Foundation.
To raise the spirit
I
t s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
Alone on the road on a lovely early
November night I took in the atmosp
,
here
— the temperature unseasonably mild, the
evening clear, the moon, a waning gibbous,-
still strong enough to brightly light my way,
and the stars enchanting in their sparkling
simplicity.
And yet, though the night did afford a clear
view of this cheery twinkling, the shimmer
that really got my eye was beaming much
closer to earth. A home decked out in
Christmas finery cast a hazy glow over the
area.
Boy, I thought, that's a little early.
But now, I'm beginning to wonder. This
week, information came in for an ad to run in
a couple of weeks, reminding residents of
Brussels to get their homes and businesses
ready by Dec. 8 for the Best Decorated
judging committee. Most, I'm sure, will be
ready and waiting long before that day.
After all, people aren't stupid. Rather than
battling bitter cold, untangling tiny lights with
brittle fingers, climbing ladders while
encumbered by thick parkas and clunky boots,
more folks are taking advantage of a mild day
in early fall to get those Christmas decorations
festooning their homes' exteriors.
Despite the common sense behind this
approach, such action has before felt rather
prematOre to me. With Halloween just barely
over it seems to be rushing things a bit.
However, as • previously noted, I'm
beginning -to have a change of heart. Firstly,
I'm an early Christmas shopper. so it's nice to
have those colourful adornments to get me in
the spirit .
But secondly, those lights raise my spirit.
Driving that night, after my initial sense that
Christmas lights now are nonscri:e, I couldn't
help) but smile just a nit as I looked at them.
Warmth and cheer were words which sprang to
mind and I thought that it's never too soon for
those feelings. ,
Especially now. Few would argue that with
the state of the world today, doom and gloom
might seem to be the feelings pervading our
existence more frequently. We continue to deal
with the terrorist attack of Sept. 11 and its
aftermath. War has come closer to home than
evqk before, and for the first time the enemy is
unknown. Fear, overreaction and panic are
infringing on our once secure existence as
threats of bio-chemical warfare shadow us.
4nd in the dark of night, when imaginations
grow stronger, we wonder if we can ever again
be sure of anyone or anything.
But we get up each day and we go on about
the business of living. In doing so, we
remember that so much of it is so very good.
People continue to forge new relationships.
They marry, they have babies. They entertain,
enjoy the company of friends, and build more
memories with family.
Now, too, we anticipate our celebration of
h6pe, of caring, of generosity. In just a short
time, the season of Christmas will truly be
here and even amidst the concerns of life
today, we will find comfort in this gentlest of
holidays.
So perhaps, getting a head start on the
Christmas lights is a good idea for more
reasons than relief of frostbite. There is
something hopeful about those dancing bits of
light, those festive colours, and there's really
no timeline on that sensation.
Are we being too negative?
Letter to the Editor
,tr,"