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HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2001-09-12, Page 5Bonnie Gropp The short of it THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 12, 2001. PAGE 5. Other Views What is in a nickname? Now it can be revealed - my teenage nickname, I mean. For the last four decades I have answered to Art. Arthur, AB, Mister Black, Doctor Black and Hey You. But before that I spent most of my teenage years cringing under the nickname of Schwartz. Why Schwartz? Well, one of my boyhood chums discovered that not only was Schwartz the name of a manufacturer of truck mud flaps, it was also Yiddish for .black'. The die was cast. Schwartz I was and Schwartz I would remain until my family mercifully moved to a distant town. It could have been worse. One of the more hapless kids in our circle was known as 'Cootie'. Another answered, not terribly keenly, to 'Mouse'. And Doug Howarth became Hogarth, Bobby Hamner became 'Hammerhead' and Harvey Becker became... Don't ask. Nicknames can be exceedingly cruel, but my, they're popular - at least among the sadists who bestow them on the rest of us. U.S. President Bush (nickname Dubya) is big on nicknames, saddling his underlings with monikers like 'Pancho', 'Stretch' and 'Sweet Cheeks'. Because Bush is so, well, bush-league, a lot of his nicknames carry the familiar, ugly sting of the no-class bully. He calls Mexican When I was young, comic strips were an integral part of my life. Fortunately the daily we took had a goodly supply of them and those were the first 'things I looked at when the paper arrived. One of my favourites was Terry and the Pirates. Not only was there Terry, my hero, but there was also a number of beautiful damsels in distress waiting to be rescued and if Terry was otherwise occupied, I was only too glad to do the rescuing. Even the Dragon Lady was glamorous although too devious for my liking. The action was all in the Orient and so I never had to worry about real pirates showing up and putting my life in jeopardy. . Other than that, the closest I ever came to pirates, real or imaginary, was acting in Gilbert and Sullivan's operetta, The Pirates of Penzance. However, the pirates in this classic were of the cowardly type and hence of no interest to me. They were also located in southern England and real pirates, I argued, could only be found in the Far East. But for many people in that area today pirates are much more dangerous than characters in a comic strip or an operetta. In fact, attacks by pirates have constantly been taking place all the way from China and the Philippines to India, with the heaviest concentration of them located in the waters around Indonesia and Singapore. In fact, of the 460 reported last year, over 100 were off the coast of Borneo. • There are pirates and then there are pirates! Some of them are unemployed fishermen who resort to petty theft to eke but a living. At the other end of the scale there are highly organized gangs for whom pirating is an occupation. It is the latter who do not hesitate to shoot the crew of any boat they attack and throw them overboard. It is virtually impossible for the small navies of the nations involved to patrol all the sea Arthur Black President Vicente Fox 'Montezuma' and refers to staff member Afi Fleischer as his 'bald Jew'. We don't want to even guess what he calls Da Liddle Guy From Shawinigan. Canadian politicians are no strangers to nicknames. We've had Dief the Chief, Old Velcro Lips and Joe Who. Some politicians of course, don't last long enough to earn a nickname. Stockwell, we hardly knew ye. Hockey players are' popular targets for nicknames - The Great One, The Flower, The Big M, The Rocket. Musicians get, tagged too - Satchmo. Fats, Duke, Dizzy, B.B. and the incomparable Blind Lemon Jefferson. Not to mention more contemporary contributions like Snoop Doggy Dog, Puff Daddy and Eminem. Mobsters get the best nicknames of all. It's hard to improve on Scarface Al, Tony Ducks, Sammy the Bull and Big Tuna. But I' would say the fertile crescent of creative nicknamery would have to be Canada's own Cape Breton Island. It's not a big place and the name pool is even Raymond Canon The International Scene lanes in the area. Now and again they are successful; a tanker was hijacked recently near Singapore and was chased for a week by Indonesian naval and air units which caught up to it off the coast of Borneo. - The crew of 14 was lucky; they were unharmed during the chase. Not so fortunate was the crew of another vessel hijacked off the coast of China. Before the Chinese navy recaptured the ship, all the crew had been killed. However, the pirates themselves did not fare any better. The Chinese government tried all of them in court, sentenced them to death and shot them. But then China is an exception. It takes piracy seriously and has the law to back it up. Not so most of the other countries in the region. If the hijacked vessel manages to get in international waters, it is problematical whether there is actually any law that can touch the pirates. In fact, one vessel which the pirates had seized was later caught by the Chinese but such was the law or 4ck thereof that the pirates, which were from the Philippines and Myanmar (Burma), were released. Help is on the way. The International Maritime Organization, which first set up a legal framework to combat Final Thought One's eyes are what one is, one's mouth what one becomes. —John Galsworthy smaller, consisting of flocks of Mcs and Macs, as befits a piece of the country populated almost exclusively by folks of the Celtic persuasion. It shouldn't be surprising, then, that down through the years, a lot of Cape Bretoners have - ended up with the same' surnames. What is surprising is the enterprise they show in dealing with any possible confusion. • Donald Cameron is a well-known Canadian writer, but back home in Cape Breton, he's just one of dozens of Donald Camerons. So how to tell him apart'? Simple. Donald Cameron, the writer, is blessed with a shock of prematurely white hair. Hence, he becomes Silver Donald Cameron. Silver Donald got off lightly. One of his fellow islanders — a miner — has one arm a little longer that the other. His nickname'? Alex the Clock (Big hand, little hand - geddit?). Then there's the Cape Breton family descended from an ancestor who loved to spend his spare time gossiping down at the corner store, where his habitual seat of choice was the top of a pickle barrel. Which is why each and every member of the family is known across the length and breadth of the island - and mostly likely for all eternity - as one of the "Pickle Arse MacLeans". A fellow by the name of William Hazlitt once wrote that a nickname "is the hardest stone that the devil can throw at a man". And Hazlitt had never even been to Cape Breton. piracy back in 1988, is now pushing hard for wider acceptance of the law. The IMO is also attempting to organize regional co-operation. There is a Piracy Reporting Center in Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia which tracks all shipping movements around the world and co-ordinates pirate chases across borders. Maybe they need a modern day version of Terry to really put the boots to these pirates. Letter Continued from page 4 this will help assure a fair balance between environmental security and the future financial viability of rural producers and rural workers, whose opportunities have clearly been diminishing in recent years. Ontario's pork industry has consolidated cqnsiderably in recent years, but larger hog —farms have not created increased environmental problems. To the contrary, while hog - production has remained relatively unchanged over die 'last decade, according to a University of Guelph study. manure production declined by 7.6 per cent in Ontario between 1986 and 1996. The Ontario Pork industry:has been vigilant in trying to assure that our producers are part of the solution, not part of the problem. We agree that the government should legislate safeguards that are already part of Ontario Pork's guidelines for its producers, and ensure that there are no loopholes in those regulations. We are proud of our industry, and want Ontarians to be proud of it too. Fair, balanced regulations, applied equally across the province, will help ensure safety and prosperity for rural Ontario and the entire province. Further information about Ontario Pork and our environmental, quality and animal care inittatives can be accessed online at hap://www.ontariopork.on.ca. Clare Schlegel Chairman of Ontario Pork. Spring won't come again lt'sraining, it's September, and maybe I'm a iittie down, It never used to be this way; September was always one of my favourite times of the year. It's the month when I made my humble arrival into this world, and 'thus being here every year since has been cause for celebration, at least on my part. But, as I peer out at the gloomy sky, as I notice with dismay certain trees already turning sienna and crimson, I am struck with the reality that we are falling headfirst into autumn. And with it comes another birthday, and the idea that perhaps I too am soon approaching the autumn of my life. At least I must be, if you take into consideration the length of winter. The final season of our existence must last at least 30 years. considering how long Jack Frost annually holds us in his icy grip. The analogy of a lifetime being represented by seasons is pretty accurate really. In our springtime we enjoy the, newness of life, feeling as if endless time is before us. Summer is long, lazy days and we seize the moments, taking all the diverse pleasures we can sample. Autumn is bittersweet, as we hold within a sense of winding down, but are still keen to savour the delights before us, just not always as exuberantly. I am approaching my autumn as I do the actual season, with no small amount of surprise. How did I get here so fast'? Having survived a 'colourful' spring, the summer of my life was kept busy with a young family. My children were like gardens I nurtured, tended and watched gro'w into beautiful blossoms. And I delighted in their growth and beauty. Everything centred around,them. My husband and I travelled to their varied interests and hobbies. We socialized with parents of their peers at these activities. We thrilled to their accomplishments. Then suddenly, before we knew it, the time . had come for them to leave. For the first time in many years the choices we find ourselves making have less to do with our children's plans than our own. Granted, our late summer for us has been extended somewhat, as our youngest has opted to work for a time before making the decisions which will most affect his future. Yet, while my baby's s,ill at home, I can't help but see that I will in a few years be truly leaving summer behind. He, on the other hand is entering his. The other day, my son and a friend were outside shooting hoops, just being boys again. His bud was leaving for college, but for that afternoon I could look at them and see the two little guys they used to be. Laughing, mocking, challenging and just generally making a lot of noise. ' I was confused at first to notice that amidst the laughter and good times feeling I had watching their lively camaraderie, was a touch of sadness. Through introspection I realized that I was watching these young men enjoying a moment in the last days of the spring of their lives. New responsibilities, new independence were theirs, which to me brought the knowledge that their spring will never come again. Yet, while this may all seem a bit of a downer. I do know there is sweetness with the bitter. I know that every season offers us something to look forward to — even winter. Let's just blame the rain for this mood. Not like 'Pirates from Penzance' e n ft it :r e r: :e c. )1' re 's to al to td :h to :11 ie ,ri y. n. 'et ;s.