HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2001-07-11, Page 5THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, JULY 11, 2001. PAGE 5.
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Flying the unfriendly skies
Idon't mean to rant but...Okay, that's a lie.
I do mean to rant. This week's vial of
venom is aimed squarely at a national
corporation that sooner or later impacts on all
our lives. And it proceeds from a simple, skill-
testing question.
My question is: Have you flown Air Canada
recently? No? Are you planning to?
If so, have you considered your options?
Hitchhiking? Pogo Stick? Suicide?
If there was ever an almost living, barely
breathing monument to the folly of monopolies
it is this country's national air — it is to laugh
— service.
Recently I booked an Air Canada flight out
of Vancouver to Fort McMurray.
Aware that Air Canada was going through
what it is smugly pleased to call 'growing
pains', I made sure I got to the airport two
hours before flight time.
Almost missed my flight. Before I could
even check my bags, I was swept into a huge
holding corral with about a hundred other
wannabe travelers.
For over an hour we snaked our way toward
the check-in counter at the speed of the
Wisconsin Glacier. There were six ticketing
stations waiting for us at the end of our
pilgrimage.
Six stations, of which, thanks to Air
Canada's slash and burn layoff policy,
precisely two had working agdnts.
I'm not saying that Air Canada has
deteriorated to the status of a Third World
airline, but the scene definitely had vibes
redolent of the Fall of Saigon.
People were pleading with other would-be
passengers in front of them, to please let them
go ahead as their. flight was leaving in 10
minutes. Five minutes. Two minutes.
Never mind. The woman in front of me -
she'd lined up for 45 minutes with two over-
There has been a flood of books into
Canada lately which have the word
'dummy' in them.
For instance, I have a copy of The Internet
for Dummies which I bought because I have
-trouble keeping up to date on what makes a
computer tick and how to make it tick the way
I want it and the book was recommended to me
by my friendly computer expert.
But the last time I was in Chapters in London
and Barnes & Noble in Port Huron, Mich, I
was surprised to discover a whole rack of
books, all with that same word in them. I
looked in vain for Economics for Dummies but
I presume it is there someplace.
Now, just because the Americans believe that
there is a whole nation of dumb people out
there waiting to learn about computers and any
other number of subjects, it is really not fair of
them to ship their books off to other parts of the
English speaking world and assume that people
are just as dumb elsewhere as they are in the
United States.
But perhaps I should not be surprised. For as
long as I can remember, our neighbours to the
south have been grinding out books designed
for the less gifted in the world. It all seems to
have started with Dale Carnegie's How to Win
Friends and Influence People which certainly
made him enough friends among readers to
guarantee him affluence from his royalty
:heques.
Spurred on by that success, American
-Authors have been beavering away ever since,
;rindin-g out books designed to improve you in
:very facet-of your life. I .can routinely count
in getting a brochure promoting a book -which,
;ince I am a mere mortal and unwise in ways of
noney, will guarantee me shelter from a
:oming financial crash, ruin, depression, or
vhatever is the next calamity poised to strike
tired kids, just to be told that her flight was
overbooked - was weeping.
The rest of us were seething. We would have
loved to unload on some - any - Air Canada
representative, but aside from the two
overworked ticket agents, our national airline
was without representation.
When I finally got to the agent, I asked him
who I could phone, fax or firebomb to
communicate my intense displeasure.
He looked me in the eye, ,and said, "You
know what you should do sir? You should
contact your MLA or MP and tell them what's
going on here...because I can't believe the way
my company is treating its customers."
Well, I was lucky. I actually made it to my
destination on the same calendar day indicated
on my ticket.
But I was still feeling a little snakebitten
when it came time for the return trip to
Vancouver, I had to change planes in
Edmonton which doubled the screwup
potential. Naturally, things went wrong. The
flight was overbooked and consequently
delayed.
Which meant the 20-minute connecting
window had evaporated before I even touched
down at Edmonton. I grabbed my bags and
galloped off the plane and across- the tarmac.
I had already ascertained that the gate I had
to 'get to was about as far from the gate I
disembarked at as could be without actually
crossing Edmonton city limits.
Raymond
Canon -
The
International
Scene
us.
I can only imagine that the chief beneficiary
of such a book is the author, since people pay
good money for the book, only to discover that
the predicted calamity_ failed to materialize.
Lately such books have to move over to find
space for yet another onslaught, this in the field
of personal health. Added to my mail intake are
any number of pamphlets promoting miracle
cures; I only have to take a prescribed dosage
of a specific vitamin or combination of them or
else mix Laotian tea with Tasmanian dandelion
in order to cure cancer, live to be 100 plus or
avoid both strokes and heart attacks.
I notice that, while the senders of such
material have Canadian addresses, they are
simply post office boxes in such places as
Windsor or Fort Erie, the latter being the most
likely. choice.
It is, for this reason, easy for the American
company to nip across the border a few times a
week in order to clear the box and process the
orders.
Even the Europeans seem to have got into the
act. On recent best seller lists coming from that
area, I note the odd self-help book translated
into the local language and put up for sale by
book clubs or publishers.
So far there is no trace of the "dummy"
books, but that may not be far behind.
But if being bombarded with dummy or self-
I humped through the terminal, sweating and
cursing. And was well past the point of no
return when I realized I had left my jacket on
the plane.
When I reached the boarding gate I was too
tired to be outraged. I approached the Air
Canada agent and murmured fatalistically that
I had left my coat on the plane.
She looked up brightly. "Oh? Which flight
were you on sir?" I told her.
"No problem," she said "I'll just call Betty."
And picked up her telephone and dialed.
Except, naturally, no one answered. "Right," I
said to myself.
Now comes the game of bureaucratic snakes
and ladders. "If you'd just fill out this form in
triplicate, sir, date of flight, flight number, time
of arrival, description of the lost property as to
size, weight and shape, approximate value of
lost property, business and home address and
hours during which someone will be home to
recei..."
Except there was none of that. She put down
the phone and smiled, "No one seem to be
answering. I'll go and get your jacket for you."
And she did. She was gone for 20 minutes -
which was faster than I could have made the
round trip - and returned with my jacket neatly
folded over her arm.
I was so utterly disarmed, I didn't even think
to get her name.
Interesting lesson in sociology though - how
a faceless corporation can piss you off to the
point of incoherence...but a single human
gesture can cancel out the bile.
So...a toast. Not to a company but to the
people in the company who have to carry the
can for the company's calculated and callous
incompetence.
Here's to the employees of Air Canada.
Cheers, folks.,Your company doesn't deserve
you.
help books or miracle cures isn't enough to try
me, I must confess that I have to face
constructive criticism from yet another source.
Each semester, professors at the university are
evaluated by their students. In addition to
answering 16 questions on the professor and
his teaching, students are also encouras;ed to
write some constructive criticism if they so
desire.
Some students, who presumably I have
offended in some way during the semester,
cannot resist the urge to take a pot shot at me.
In spite of the generally favourable reviews or
the normal constructive criticism, one student
saw fit to call my classes boring, another
couldn't remember anything of importance
which he had learned while yet another called
the course dry. There was also one who was
angry because I wouldn't excuse her from
writing an exam so she could go off to
celebrate Iranian New Year's.
I guess there is still a lot of truth in the old
saying that you can't please all the people all
the time, especially when you are a teacher.
But one comment I will treasure came from a
student who is presumably still reaching for his
21st birthday. I was, he said, "brilliant and
senile - the best combination for a professor."
That one is going to get pinned up over my
desk.
Final Thought
Badness you can get easily, in quantity; the
road is smooth, and it lies close by. But in
front Of excellence, the immortal gods have
put sweot, and long and steep is the'way to it,
and rough at first. But when you corm: to the
top, then it is easy, even though it is hard.
— Hesiod
Celebration time
Happy anniversary. This past weekend
my husband and I were among those
who helped some longtime friends
celebrate 25 years of marriage. Being with
special people is always a pleasure, but one
made even greater when the occasion is a
milestone.
And milestones seem to be happening a lot
lately. I don't know if it's our age or if I'm just
starting to pay attention, but every time I turn
around I've got somewhere to go, to be with
someone who is reaching something
significant.
As I just stated, last weekend it was for an
anniversary, in essence commemorating
accomplishment. Because, as we are all too
well aware, getting and staying married for
any length of time is fast becoming
noteworthy.
This couple, I met shortly after their
wedding day. I have been really blessed by that
acquaintance. They have worked together and
played together through those 25 years. They
are good friends, lovers and successful
`business' partners, a good example to anyone
who struggles with the understanding that
marriage is about give and take, about
equality, about compromise.
Now, this weekend I will be attending a
birthday party — my brother's 55th actually.
You might say this milestone is a reminder
about not taking one's self too seriously.
While some may not consider the 55th a
milestone, my brother (a significantly older
brother I might add) did. Enoughlkso, that his
wife decided that to stop his "whining" she
better throw him a small gathering at the very
least. The remark is all in good fun; we are of
course all quite happy to go and party with
him. There's notning we like better than
drinking his beer and eating his food.
My brother when he's set to socialize, can he
larger than life. He likes to laugh loud, sing
with enthusiasm, eat and drink with gusto.
He's never seemed particularly affected by the
passing of time and certainly has ti ,
questioning on occasion if he will ever really
grow up.
And that's not exactly a bad way to take on
life, is it?
Also, this year has been the 80th birthday of
both my mother and my mother-in-law. This
milestone is about graciousness of spirit.
Though two quite different women, they each
in their own way have given, new meaning to
the -golden years. They have been fortunate in
health and have taken full advantage of it.
Their energy, appearance, enjoyment of so
many things belies any sense that 80 is old.
For anyone once fearful of heing our
parents, they have almost managed to make it
look now like that wouldn't be so bad.
This year top our youngest graduated from
high school, a milestone of achievement. He
and his peers through work, (at varying levels
admittedly, but work nonetheless) have
reached the first true pinnacle of education on
the way to independence.
And ,so we celebrate. We celebrate
anniversaries, birthdays, steps to success -
milestones that mark our passage through life.
Put that way I suppose it can be a little
bittersweet. But while the milestones are
taking us toward the end, they are also
reminding us of what we are, where we are
going and those we've met along the way.
And besides, any excuse for a party is a
good one.
We're a nation of dummies