HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2001-05-23, Page 5THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, MAY 23, 2001. PAGE 5.
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Sorry my companion has fleas
Please don't misunderstand me - I yield to
no gullible human in my love and sad
sack devotion to the principle of canine
companionship, but...
I feel we might be getting it slightly out of
whack.
I offer as evidence a new book that will
shortly be gracing the best seller table at your
local bookstore. It's called The New Age Dog.
It's about alternative health care for Fido and
explores such unplumbed fields of canine
inquiry, as:
When you die, will your dog be waiting for
you in heaven?
What's your dog's aura?
What (or who) was your dog in past lives?
' The New Age Dog is not the first publicatio
devoted to elevating our pooches to quasi-
human status. That honour belongs 'to a
magazine out of Berkeley, California that calls
itself The Bark. This full-colour monthly
devotes itself to what it calls "modern dog
culture".
Whassat, you ask?
Well, it's an attempt by the folks who put out
The Bark - those dang Pomeranians just can't
get a handle on keyboard typing - to 're-
educate' the humans with regard to people-
pooch interfacings.
They think we need to change our language,
for one thing. When it comes to dogs, we just
have to get rid of the word 'pet'.
"They are not our property, we are not their
owners" is the bumper sticker slogan The Bark
has come up with.
One of the theories of history that I teach
at university is that of the German
historian Friedrich Hegel. Never mind
that it was adapted by Karl Marx in his
formation of communism; it provides a nice
historical framework in which one can examine
what is going on in the world,
Hegel stated that a certain movement arises
which can be designated as the `thesis' aspect
in a chain reaction. In short order there takes
place an opposition to this movement,
somewhat like one of Newton's laws. This is an
opposition which can be described as the
"antithesis."
The result of both these movements is a
compromise which is labelled the "synthesis."
This synthesis, concluded Hegel, becomes the
thesis of the next chain.
All this provides a neat framework for the
current controversy over globalization. It can
be considered as the thesis phase while the
opposition that has grown up around it can just
as easily be described as the antithesis phase.
When all the wailing and gnashing of teeth
has subsided, the outcome will probably be the
synthesis.
It goes without saying that many people are
anxious to find out as much as possible about
both sides of the coin. They have heard about
globalization and trade liberalization and some
of their friends are either going to protest or
else are supportive of those that are.
Well, let's look at one side. Ever since David
Ricardo first developed the concept of
comparative advantage back in the 18th
century, it has been a nation's best interest to
develop trade with other countries.
However, development of this trade
progressed by tits and starts until the latter part
of the 1900s when it caught fire both in sectoral
free trade such as NAFTA or the European
Common Market or the various rounds of the
General Agreement on Tariffs and Trade and its
So what are we supposed to call our fearless
fireplug stalker if the word 'pet' is verboten'?
Companion.
"Sorry my companion couldn't come to the
party. She has fleas."
Oh yes, and 'owner' is a no-no word 8 well.
We companioned folk will be known as
`guardians' from here on in.
Don't laugh.
Berkeley recently adopted an ordinance
stripping the designation 'owner' from the
municipal statutes. Henceforth, anyone who,
ah, hangs out with a dog in Berkeley is
officially a "pet owner/guardian".
In Defence of Animals, a group in Mill
Valley, across the bay from San Francisco,
wants to -go even further. Their campaign
literature equates animal ownership with
slavery. They, too, are fighting to ban the word
'pet' - in favour of 'friend'. They're also
against the 'it' word. They say dogs are either
`he' or 'she'.
Am I laughing at all this foolishness? Are
you kidding?
I'm the schmo who has, over the years;
shelled out a king's ransom for puppy chow,
Raymond
Canon
The
Internationale
Scene
successor the World Trade Organization. With
that, not surprisingly, has come the
internationalization of many large
corporations.
But formulas for economic development are
a lot like prescriptio8 you pick up at -the drug
store. They may help to cure what is ailing you
or else bring it under control but they come
with a list of side effects, some of them rather
nasty.
Well, there have, undoubtedly, been side
effects to all this expansion of free trade. There
is, for example, - the adverse effect on -the
environment, the loss of national or cultural
identity, the disruptions in the labour markets
or a corporation setting itself up as a micro-
nation, apparently above the laws of any
specific country.
So we have the various protest groups and I,
for one, am not surprised at all at their
emergence. Most economists, including
myself, are in favour of trade liberalization but
accept the fact that there has to be a certain
downside.
What bothers me, as far as the protests are
concerned, is that there are too many special
Final Thought
Life always gets harder toward the summit
— the cold increases, responsibility
increases.
— Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
butcher's bones, rabies shots, leashes and chew
toys for a succession of do-oops-companions.
I'm the guy who once paid for - not one, but
two root canals for a semi-border
collie...friend. Rufus is the only member of
this family that has ever had a root canal. Too
expensive for the rest of us.
Some would call' me naïve - a sucker, even.
I maintain that the truth is, some dogs - not
many, but some - are just a whole lot smarter
than their two-legged...friends and guardians.
Like the dog that accompanied a guy into a
tavern, hopped up on the bar and sat up
brightly while his human compadre announced
that this dog could talk and he has $100 to bet
anyone who says he can't.
The bartender ponies up a century note; the
guy looks at the dog and says "What's that
thing on top of the building that keeps rain
from coming inside?"
"ROOF" says the dog.
The barkeep scoffs, "Get serious! I'm not
paying for that."
"Okay," says the guy, "how about double or
nothing?"
The bartender shrugs assent. The guy turns
to the dog and asks, "Who was the greatest
baseball player of all time?"
"RUTH" says the dog!
At that, the bartender loses his patience,
grabs them both by the scruffs of their necks,
lugs them to the door and pitches them out on
the sidewalk.
As the owner is dusting himself off, the dog
looks up at him and says, "DiMaggio?"
interest groups and their protests are disjointed.
American unions, for one, were highly visible
at Seattle and highly invisible since then. All
they wanted to do was protect American jobs,
regardless of the cost.
The more radical groups generally have no
hesitation at resorting to violence and the
security police are also known to act in like
fashion. All this tends to drown out the groups
who have a serious and valid message to
deliver.
Getting back to Hegel, out of all this we will,
I hope, see a certain synthesis start to take
shape wherein the benefits of trade
liberalization will continue to be realized while
the negative aspects of it can be minimized.
But, even if all this is carried out, there will
be a large group of people throughout the
world who will derive little if any good due to
the presence of corrupt or despotic
governments that siphon off all the benefits.
That, to me, is one of the greatest evils of all.
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Bonnie
Gropp
The short of it
Not in my beds
The world would not be nearly so
interesting were it not for its diversity.
As I remember hearing from a young
age, it takes all kinds. It certainly doesn't take
long for even an innocent to recognize the
truth in this.
Life would be easier if we all agreed, if we
all liked the same things, but you can't deny
the possibility of such congruous existence
soon becoming boring. So, we acquiesce to the
different tastes and personalities.
However, while one has to expect the odd
blemish will rise up on life's otherwise patient
countenance, from time to time it will reach
irritating proportions. For example, I have
encountered something that is really starting to
give me a rash.
Last week I purchased some new perennials.
It was a glorious day, sunshine and warmth,
my allergies retreating, and I could hardly wait
to get my hands dirty. I stepped into the.
flowerbed, and was hit by a vile stench.
Turning, I discoVered a scratched-out area and
some nice fresh cat dirt. I went ballistic.
Admittedly, I have little fondness for these
self-absorbed critters. I am, was and always
will be a dog lover. I appreciate, however, that
owning a pooch brings its own set of irritants,
and I do try to be considerate. I may
occasionally be slow controlling the barking,
but I guarantee there is never any disgusting
evidence of my dog being in any vicinity other
than my home.
The thing is, even if I didn't want to clean up
after my pooch, I must. Municipalities say a
dog must be licensed. They're not allowed to
wander. They must be walked on a leash and
their owners must be armed with plastic bags.
Dogs in town can be reported for barking
between the hours of 11 p.m. and 7 a.m. Yet,
when I think of the number of nights my sleep
has been disturbed by the yowling of angry or
amorous felines I'm a little puzzled. Is there
some reasonable explanation why cat owners
shouldn't have to be as responsible as dog
owners?
Believe me, it's not because their ?*#@
doesn't stink.
A cat-loving acquaintance who lives in a
community which does enforce a bylaw on
cats running loose was quite distraught one
day that her kitty had been caught on a
neighbour's property. After all, she said, we
need cats roaming outdoors to control the
existence of varmints. To that I noted there are
many other animals equally adept at predatory
skills, including my dog. And even if there
weren't I'd take my chances.
Well then, she said, to keep it in the house
means coping with a smelly litter box. Yet, she
was not amused when I said we actually would
prefer our dog didn't use our lawn as its litter
box either, so perhaps we should just let her go
where it pleases her and us.
I don't really blame the owners. I'd likely do
the same thing if no one stopped us. But it
really is , unnecessary. We owned a cat for
several years. She was litter trained and lived
happily indoors for 15 years, primarily
because our daughter didn't want to risk
having her get hurt, She languished on the
back of our couch, delighted to offer us her
regal presence, be fed, petted and coddled.
We are all different in what we like and how
we see things. But there is something wrong
when dogs must be tied, yet cats roam free to
use someone's flowerbeds or worse, a child's
sandbox, as an outhouse.
The pros and cons of free trade