HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2001-05-16, Page 5THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, MAY 16, 2001. PAGE 5.
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Not exactly as advertised
We live in extraordinary times.
Computer experts in Britain, bless
their questing souls, have recreated
a forensic snapshot of Jesus Christ.
How did they do it? Scientifically, of course!
None of your lame reliance on folkloric
legends and half-remembered fairy tales ham-
handed down through the centuries. These
geniuses lassoed the image in a laboratory and
published the photo in newspapers and
magazines around the world.
It even made the front page of The National
Post.
So what did Jesus really look like? Nothing
like the angelic, blue-eyed, longhaired, white-
robed chap we're used to seeing in Renaissance
paintings and on Hallmark Christmas cards.
The computer-recreated Jesus looks like a
young Ernest Borgnine, or perhaps an over-
the-hill squeegee kid. He's scruffy and swarthy
with thick, black, curly hair and a woolly,
cropped beard.
The scientists got this 'snapshot' by
photographing a preserved skull from a
middle-aged Jewish male who lived
and died about the same time as Christ. Then,
by means of digital imaging, they stuck on a
virtual nose and a couple of ears, threw in some
bushy eyebrows and a slightly bewildered
expression, and Hey, Presto! The real face of
Jesus
Not.
This is the most bogus piece of Voodoo-
How would you like to get a little lesson
in history without even going off to the
classroom.
I don't think it will be as dull as you might
think history to be, especially if you were
turned off by it when you went to school. Like
a lot of other subjects, how interesting it is
generally depends on how it is presented. What
you learn here may surprise you.
Think back first of all to the world's main
sources of energy in the lifetime of our planet.
Actually you can count them on one hand and
have a couple of fingers left over so it should
not be too hard to get all three of them. Begin
with the Middle Ages since things had not
changed very much in the preceding centuries.
If you were a peasant at that time, your main
source of energy would be wood,.with a bit of
hay thrown in for good measure. It was used
mainly to heat and cook, but rather basic
instruments and weapons were also made from
it. There was generally plenty of wood so we
did not have to worry about running out of it.
But eventually the world found something to
replace wood. The use of wood as a source of
energy gradually tapered off and in its place
came coal. Think if you can back to the first
pictures of locomotives. There was a lot of
wood piled up in the tender behind the engine,
but with time this wood disappeared and in the
pictures you see coal instead.
Now the main question is this. Did wood all
but disappear because the world was running
out of it? -
Not at all! Coal replaced wood because it
was more efficient. In short, it took less coal to
produce the same energy.
In due bourSe coal was replaced by oil. Again
the question. Did we run out of coal?
Again the answer is: Not in the least ! There
was still hundreds of years' supply of coal in
the ground when oil took over. Oil was simply
cheaper (more effiCient) to use than coal.
science since the Piltdown Man.
Imagine if, 2,000 years from now, a bunch.of
boffins in lab coats decided to take the
skull of an unknown North American male
from our time and extrapolate what the
previous owner had looked like. Would t
hey come up with Wayne Gretzky or Ti
Domi? Lucien Bouchard - or Preston
Manning?
Stone Cold Steve Austin or Mickey Rooney?
Deciding what somebody looked like by the
shape of an ancient skull is like judging the
height of a pine tree by the size of one cone.
We don't even get it right when we have
historical models to examine.
Thanks to Hollywood, we all know that
Cleopatra was a larger-than-life sloe-eyed
temptress with an hourglass figure and boobs
from here to Cairo.
But 11 statues recently authenticated as
accurate representations of the legendary
Egyptian queen show a rather dumpy broad,
squint-eyed, decidedly plain, unquestionably
plump and not' even five feet tall.
It's a hoary cliché, but a true one:
Raymond
Canon
The
International
Scene
We are now in the present. We are still using
oil but the chances are that the 21st century will
see oil replaced by something else.
We will come to the probable replacement in
a minute but I will point out that we are
certainly not running out of oil. Canada, for
one, has enough oil in the tar sands out west to
last for about two - three centuries. The same
goes for Saudi Arabia.
In fact, with the constantly improved
technology at our disposal we are finding extra
sources of oil just about as fast as we consume
it.
Oil will be replaced because again we will
find something cheaper. But a new factor enters
the picture. That is one of pollution and oil
certainly falls in that category. We need,
therefore, something that can be produced
more cheaply and pollutes the world less
(preferably much less) than oil.
You may (or maybe not) be astounded to
learn that the leading candidate for this
replacement is hydrogen: At the present time
the cost of producing it is quite high but it can
Final Thought
None but the well-bred man knows how to
confess a fault or acknowledge himself in
an error.
- lienjanzin Franklin
appearances can be deceiving.
And that applies to pigs in pokes as well as
skulls in middens — as evidenced by a letter
from the venerable Smithsonian Institute to a
hopeful anthropologist:
Dear Sir:
Thank you for your latest submission to the
Institute, labeled "21 1-D, layer seven, next to
the clothesline post. Hominid Skull."
We have given this specimen a careful and
detailed examination, and regret to inform you
that we disagree with your theory that it
represents "conclusive proof of the presence of
Early Man in Charleston County two million
years ago."
It is evident that you have given a great deal
of thought to the analysis, however, we do feel
that there are physical attributes of the
specimen which might have tipped you off to
its modern origin:
1. The cranial capacity of the specimen is
nine-cubic centimetres, well below the
threshold of even the earliest identified proto-
hominids.
2. The material is molded plastic.
Ancient hominid remains are typically
fossilized bone.
It appears that what you have found is the
head of a Barbie doll, of the variety one of our
staff believes to be 'Malibu Barbie'.
Yours in Science, Harvey Rowe, Curator,
Antiquities, Paleoanthropology Division
Smithsonian Institute.
be brought down to acceptable levels as the
demand for it increases.
In addition, its record as a pollutant (or lack
of it) is second to none. Finally its basic
ingredient is water and the world certainly has
plenty of that commodity.
But there is a dark horse in this unofficial
competition. This is fuel-cell technology and it
may come as a surprise to you to learn that the
leading companies in its development .are
Canadian. The best known is Ballard Power
Systems which is located in British Columbia.
Many of the large international automobile
companies have already beaten a path to its
door and they are also keeping an eye on two
other Canadian companies, Stuart Energy and
Dynatek Industries.
So much for the argument that history is
bunk. Far too often the problem is that we don't
study history or properly learn the lessons that
it has been trying to teach us for centuries.
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I could have ...
I
could have danced all night. Well, I could
have if anybody I knew actually danced
anymore.
Woe is me when I attend a function where
music sings and partners swing. The practice
is we enter the room, my husband departs, and
I find a seat from where I can watch the world
swirl by. From time to time a tune which I
believe might inspire begins and I, a hopeful,
expectant look gracing my face, peruse the
gathering to find a would-be partner.
It's often not to be. My hubby has taken up
his usual stance, Mr. Schmoozer, on the far
side of the room chatting with his buds. I face
vehement rejection by my two sons, as I know
I will before I ask. And most of the other men
I know are talking or being dragged to the
dance floor. Thus I stand, dejected and
frustrated on the sidelines, a wallflower of
their making.
I was raised in a dancing family. My parents
were the envy of many in their heyday. My
sibs both enjoy dancing and I picked up a bit
by osmosis before hitting my teens. When
Daddy, my brother or brother-in-law asked me
to dance it was always a starry-eyed moment
for this little girl.
But then -a strange transformation began. In
early adolescence, the fancy steps I had
remembered seeing my folks perform to
perfection, were replaced by a shuffling walk
that took much finesse out of cheek-to-cheek.
Boys, I realized didn't know how to dance
anymore and didn't want to.
And as music sped up and dances took on
names such as the Monkey and the Jerk, girls
partnered together. The fellows, whom I began
to wonder if the dances were named for, took
to circling around the floor like wolves
moving in for the kill.
Well, I suppose in a way they were.
Anyway by the time I had hit my late teens,
attending a dance, believe ,this if you can,
meant sitting on the floor in font of the stage
watching the band.
In retrospect I see a pattern taking shape that
concerns me. An art form, a classy style of
recreation, a smooth bit of socializing may be
lost. Sure today they may move to techno or
mosh to punk, but the smooth moves that
once meant tripping the light fantastic are
rarely seen anymore.
I attempted to teach my sons some basic
dance steps when they were young. The eldest
was a grudging student, mildly patronizing in
his 'acquiescence to these lessons, an 'Oh, if I
must' attitude rather diminishing my
enjoyment. The 'baby', however was actually
quite proficient, starting first with a good deal
of enthusiasm by standing on my feet, then as
a young gentleman of eight or so, parading
gals of all ages around dance floors. - For a
time he really did seem to enjoy it.
And then, he became a teenager and while
the music most certainly didn't stop, the
dancing, well, the kind you would recognize
as such, sure did.
But, there is always hope. His son, our 16-
month-old .darling, has already discovered the
joy of music and rhythm. Turning on the CD
player has become a regular ritual for him and
his doting Gramps, and much to my delight he
is always keen for a spin around the floor the
traditional way. As I pick him up, he holds out
his left hand for me to take into mine and I
have found my dancing partner.
Unfortunately. he's a little young to dance
all night.
Think back to the sources of energy