HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2001-05-09, Page 5THE CITIZEN. WEDNESDAY, MAY 9, 2001. PAGE 5.
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onsider the case of a gorgeous South
American by the name of Juliana C_
Borges, only 22 years old and by all
accounts, stunningly, supernaturally beautiful.
So beautiful that she's been chosen as Miss
Brazil.
There are 170 million people in Brazil and
half of them are women. Juliana Borges has
been judged the comeliest of them all. •
And to what does this statuesque,
willowy siren owe her great good fortune? To
fabulous genes? A perfect diet? Pure, dumb
luck?
Nope, nope and nape.
Miss Brazil owes her title to her personal
plastic surgeon. In her 22 years on the planet.
Miss Brazil has been under the knife no fewer
than 23 times.
She has plumped her breasts up with
silicone. She has had fat vacuumed off her
thighs. She has had her ears sculpted, her nose
bobbed, her cheeks and jaws padded out with
sundry inert materials and she has seen to it
that various birthmark-type anomalies' have
been sandblasted to smithereens.
"Plastic surgery made me more beautiful."
says Juliana. "It gave me - the confidence in
myself and the perfect measurements that won
me this title."
A trip back
Last year--I 'told you a bit about
international finance, one of the classes
that I teach at Western. I thought I
would do a follow-up since some people are of
the opinion that many university professors
make one set of ideas last them a lifetime.
Not so in my class! I can honestly say that I
never teach the same material two years in a
row. .
One thing that has changed is the size of the
class. Last year it was about 100.: this year it
has risen to just over 130. In fact,-enrollment in
the course had to be cut off since the classroom
will not hold any more.
It is actually one of the biggest classrooms in
the social sciences building. I have students
from all over the world, including two from
Russia who were both surprised to find a
professor that had not only been to their
country but actually spoke the language.
What are some of the changes'? For openers
there is more emphasis this year on the study of
the merits (or lack of them) of a single currency
for all of North America, something similar to'
what is taking place in Europe with its euro
coming into general use next Jan. 1.
My preference is to stick with the Canadian
dollar but I feel obliged to present both sides of
the story.
In Europe the change seems to be more
political than economic. We can only wait, for
example, and see how the Germans react when
the loss of their solid mark finally sinks in.
We are also concentrating more on foreign
investments and how to protect an investment
.. denominated in a foreign currency.
You will perhaps recall that the foreign
content of your RRSP has been increased and it
is important that students learn more of what
that means for any investment program they
have or they might some day be managing.
Having to deal with exchange rates most of
my life. I feel no hesitation in including more
practice on Tracheal applications when it
comes to working in foreign currencies. The
students learn to interpretexchange rate tables.
make 'calculations in transactions as. well as
where and, when -not to exchange their money.
' One recent test included a question asking
them, given a specific set of exchange and
interest rates,, whether they should invest in
Canada or in a foreign country. About half of
It's a sad tune, but not a new one. Pamela
Anderson used plastic surgery to give herself a
bustline like the prow of a Chris Craft, Joan
Rivers, the wisecracking talk show harpy,
gleefully spent hundreds of thousands of
dollars over the past few decades fending off
Father Time by having herself nipped, tucked.
padded, abraded and otherwise surgically
shored up. To me, she looks like an X-ray of
the Walking Undead but she seems happy with
the ersatz apparition she sees in the mirror each
morning.
Whatever works. -I guess.
Juliana Borges, along with her resident
silicone hummocks and blobs, will be
representing her country at the Miss Universe
pageant shortly, and nobody seems to be
unduly upset about it.
Call me old-fashioned, but I would have
thought a contest dedicated to seeking out
feminine pulchritude would have specified that
them got it wrong, which meant extra work in
that area.
I also try to make myself as available as
possible to the students, partly because most of
them are away from home for the first time and
universities can be very impersonal places. Too
many professors are, to my mind, invisible
once outside the classroom and I resolve never
to be put in that category.
It is surprising what - variety of money
matters students want to discuss over the
course of the semester. In addition, just about
any question on foreign travel comes up at one
time or another.
One of the problems is that most students do
not know how to express themselves well in
written English, This is true whether English is
their mother tongue or not.
You may have read that Grade 10 students in
this province did not do too well in their
THE EDITOR,
In fair weather. it's not uncommon for door-
to-door canvassers to venture into the streets
and country roads of Ontario to gain your
support for their cause.
One of these "causes" is solicitation for
school food programs. Be wary. If this person
asks you to support breakfasts for children,
please know:
I. Your donation will not be spent in Huron or
Perth Counties.
2. Only a small percentage of your donation
will supply food to children after substantial
administration expenses and canvassers are
paid.
Yes. breakfast and snack programs are
expanding throughout Huron and Perth
Counties. These programs are supported by a
partnership between the Canadian Living
it be natural, not plastic.
Funny things happen when people
resort to self-sculpturing. Michael Jackson
used to have a pretty normal looking nose.
Now, after Umpteen rhinoplasties, he has little
more than two blowholes in'the middle of his
face.
And then there's the case of the French
performance artist who calls herself Orlan.
Mademoiselle Orlan is currently in the final
stages of a 10-year work in progress that she
calls The Reincarnation of St. Orlan.
What she is doing is - and I wish I was
making this up - having a team of plastic
surgeons construct the largest nose her face can
support while she delivers lectures..
According to a report in The Chronicle of
Higher Education, Mlle. Orlan is off to Japan
where, next year she will lecture on post-
modern philosophical theory while surgeons
install the 'Ingest honker her face can handle.
Ah, beauty.
Voltaire once said: "Ask a toad and he will
tell you that beauty is a female with two great
round eyes in a tiny head, a large tlat mouth, a
yellow belly and a brown spotted back".
I dunno. Next to Mlle Orlan, that sounds
pretty hot to me.
English testing: it is still bad at the university
level and we also have a chore on our hands
trying to curb pt4giarism. This is readily
apparent when you look at the research project
they hand in.
While most students have to mature rather
quickly at- university, there is considerable
weeding out in the first and second year. My
students are in their third or fourth year and are
generally pretty dedicated, but there are still a
few around who need to come to grips with
reality. Unless they change before they
graduate, (if they do), they are going to have a
rough time in the business world.
But. with globalization becoming more and
more the norm, it is important that they get an
insight how money functions. in such a world.
If I do the course next year, I am sure that I will
have to introduce other new practices in the
financial world.
Sometimes it seems you have to run fast even
to keep in the same place.
But I can conclude by saying honestly that
out of this all has come one of the greatest joys
for a teacher, regardless of the level. The last
two years. students in this class have
nominated me fix an excellence award in
undergraduate teaching. You can't submit that
feeling to an exchange rate but you can
certainly savour it.
Foundation, the Government of Ontario, the
Avon Maitland District School Board, the
Huron Perth Catholic District Schoo! Board,
the Huron Health Unit, the Perth District
Health Unit, Rural Response for Healthy
Children and the Stratford-Perth Branch of the
Canadian Red Cross.
The goal of this partnership is to promote the
healthy child development, physically, socially
and academically, by helping communities
provide nutritious food, without barriers, in a
sate, non-judgmental environment. WE DO
NOT SOLICIT DOOR TO DOOR EVER.
We do invite businesses, service groups and
ind,viduals to support Breakfast for Learning
by contacting Laurel McIntosh. Breakfast for
Learning co-ordinator. Huron Health Unit, I-
877-837-6143.
Laurel McIntosh.
I'm ashamed
/
have lived in Brussels for the majority of
my life, having moved there 25 years ago.
It's a lovely place to raise children, and I
have come to know some of the best people
there could possibly be. Small towns are
nothing if not supportive, friendly and full of
spirit.
However, there is a blight in our small town
that needs to be addressed. At a family buck
and doe recently, I was ashamed for a group of
young Brussels people who made the trip by
bus to attend. And before I begin to tell you
my reasons let me note that as DD I was of
clear mind and eyesight. Also, I want to stress
that the majority of the kids there were
extremely well behaved, but unfortunately
their association with a group of two or three
generally has them painted with the same
brush, particularly as little was done to deter
their childish buddies. • .
I became aware that the evening might
prove eventful as the travellers arrived.
Within five minutes I overheard one fellow
speak the words, "gonna fight". This same
boy, less than an hour later was in the
bathroom kicking things and smashing doors.
Seated back at the table he was one of a few
who decided a little destructive tomfoolery
was in order, which cost the hosts the price of
a table.
At one point the charming fellow picked up
a chair, which he swung at the bride-to-be and
best man, who were dancing.
Our friends and family from the cities and
even other small towns were, contrary to what
these little fools might believe, not impressed,
not frightened. They were disgusted.
Thankfully, by the time the real show began
the majority had left. As the group departed
for the bus, at least one was carrying a drink.
The best man, who was admittedly in his cups
as well. di(, try to be respOnsible and stop
them. But heaven forbid, after hours of
drinking someone would attempt to end the
fun.
In fairness, I didn't see the violence begin.
but I do know the odds and that the situation
could have been extremely serious as the
young man was knocked unconscious when
his head cracked the pavement.
The bride, obviously and rightly upset at
seeing her best man lying on the ground and
bleeding profusely, was jeered at and called
names. My husband and son also found out
they are things they hadn't realized before.
Where there is alcohol, trouble generally
follows. But I foolishly believed that buck and
does were to be attended by people who cared
in some way for the bride and groom. It' these
kids wanted to ruin what was to be a happy
time for this couple they succeeded. The best
man has extended an apology to the bride and
groom for this debacle. Nothing has been
forthcoming from the other side.
My family and I have often listened to jibes
about small towns. We get ribbed good-
naturedly about living among rednecks and
bumpkins. Now, how do you defend this?
Kids make mistakes. But there are limits.
The boys-will-be-boys mindset has to change.
Firstly. these weren't boys. they are 'young
men. There is absolutely no excuse 4.41' their
overall behaviour that night. This time it (NO
have beert tragic. Those involved 't have
known all of their lives. They come from good
families. I am ashamed for them and for
Brussels.
to the classroom
Letter to the Editor