HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 2001-04-11, Page 5Final Thought
Those who know how to win are much
more numerous than those who know how
to :slake proper use of their victories.
— Po/ybius
THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 11, 2001. PAGE 5.
Other Views
Incredible disappearing cell phone
d
d
e
;t
n
y
e
h
d
n
d
ib
-y
is
is
It
ld
Got on the bus the other day and sat
down across from a guy who was
cleaning his ear. "Gross," I thought.
Then I realized he was also talking to himself
- or rather, to his wrist. Which is when I clued
in (I'm a slow learner). The guy was simply
using his cell phone.
(In a public place, in a loud, obnoxious
voice, telling the rest of the passengers 'way
more than any of us wanted to know about his
abysmally boring day job - but that's another
rant.)
No, the point I want to make here is that his
cell phone was so small there was a danger of
it getting lodged in his ear. Why are cell phones
getting so damned tiny?
Years-ago - and not that many, come to think
of it - cell phones were the size of bread loaves.
They were huge, ungainly things you could use
for a doorstop. Granted they were ugly and
cumbersome, but I think we've gone too far in
the other direction. Cell phones today are so
diminutive they fold down to about the size of
a business card.
Which would be tine, except for one
drawback: physiology. God is still turning out
human models with the same size hands.
Those hands include fingers that were never
designed to hunt and peck through a cell phone
number pad that's not much bigger than a
postage stamp. I note that one cell phone
manufacturer is now offering a pointy little
stylus that tits over the end of your dialing
finger allowing you to punch one button at a
time instead of three.
We doan need no steenkin' stylus...what we
need is a human hand-sized natter pad.
And it's not just cell phones. The same thing
applies to palm pilots, play stations - and hotel
radios. Ever tried to change the station or set
the alarm on the bedside radio in your hotel
room? Who are those things designed for -
leprechauns?
The communications business is going nuts
over miniaturization right now - and it's getting
dangerous. If you don't believe me, ask
Antonio Mendoza of Los Angeles. Mister
Mendoza, an attorney-at-law, has just been
Raymond
Canon
The
International
Scene
reaction to it was that the experiment worked
but they did not understand why.
The Montana hospital is not alone. There is a
wide range of clinics and researchers
reporting that they are seeing, as a result of
music therapy, such things as lower
blood pressure, reduced pulse rates, easier
breathing and less need for pain medication
and anaesthesia. One Atlanta centre has a
hospital-wide music system to reduce
tension among its patients, a sort of therapeutic
Muzak.
While there are any number of theories as to
THE EDITOR,
I am very disappointed that North Huron
council has to spend time discussing the merits
of herbicides on lawns. The pesticides that are
used on our lawns are safe when they are used
according to the instructions on the package.
Two of America's top cancer experts, Bruce
Ames and Lois Gold of the University of
California at Berkeley, wrote in 1997, "There
is no convincing evidence that synthetic
chemical pollutants are important as a cause of
human cancer."
The Environmental Protection Agency's
cancer risk group agrees there is little evidence
that low-level chemical pollutants are
significant causes of human cancer.
There's strong agreement among health
professionals on the real cancer culprits. A
study by the Harvard School of Public Health
found that tobacco can be blamed for 30 per
cent of all cancer deaths.
Other factors cited are poor diets and obesity
430 per cent). Others are lack of exercise (five
per cent), job exposures to such high-risk
carcinogens as benzene and asbestos (five per
released from his local medical trauma centre,
following the successful removal of his cell
phone from his, err, rectum.
"My dog drags the thing all over the house"
he explained. "He must have dragged it into the
shower. I slipped on the tile and sat right down
on the thing."
Bad enough, right? How would you like to
explain to the admissions nurse why you
needed to see a doctor pretty quick? But the
story gets worse. It took doctors more than
three hours to perform the 'extraction',
because the cover to Mr. Mendoza's phone had
opened during insertion.
That's right. Throughout the operation, Mr.
Mendoza was...getting calls.
"He was a real trouper during the entire
episode," said one doctor. "Three times during
the extraction the phone rang, and each time,
he made jokes about it."
Mister Mendoza is back at work now,
walking a little gingerly, but otherwise none
the worse for wear. Obviously, he's a
resourceful, outgoing, fun-loving guy - if a tiny
bit clumsy.
Just don't ask him to turn the other cheek.
the effectiveness to music, the choice of what is
played is not nearly so varied. The favourites
are Mozart and Gregorian chant, the latter
because it is unmetered and can be matched to
the patient's breathing. Mozart is a bit harder to
explain but it may be due to the use of the
composer's music for other purposes, i.e. to
increase a student's skills. Tests on the latter
phenomenon have not been as conclusive as the
advocates would have liked.
I have often found that, when a new theory is
given wide publicity, the power of suggestion
seems to take over, and the theory takes on a
more active life of its own. I am not suggesting
that Mozart's beneficial influence is not as
advertised (he is, after, all, one of my faVourite
composers) but -a reduCtion of the initial
euphoria combined with more research might
be enough to determine its real level of
benefits.
We might even get around to finding out why
the chickens like it when they are laying their
eggs.
cent), family genetics (five per cent), viruses
and other natural biologic agents, (five per
cent). reproductive factors (three per cent) and
alcohol (three per cent).
Environmental pollution (including
industrial pollutants, asbestos, radon and
pesticide residues) ranks just above sunlight
(two per cent) and prescription drugs (one per
cent) as cancer causes.
In summary, I'm going to call the Lawn
Ranger to spray my lawn this summer and send
my kids out to play, with an apple, because I
know this is much better for their health than
sitting in front of the television eating junk
food. The risks to cancer are about lifestyle
choices I make, not what I put on my lawn to
manage a few weeds.
Sincerely,
Ralph deVries.
Showered with wishes
Lovely wrappings torn asunder, well-
meant wishes absorbed and/gratitude
flowing as plentifully as wine on a
vineyard tour for the abundant riches
bestowed.
This past weekend my sister-in-law hosted a
Jack and Jill for my daughter and her fiance. It
has become a rather naughty trick on the part
of my family to subject the gents to what is
essentially a bridal shower. Enough of this
archaic attitude that guys can party at the stag
while the women demurely sip tea and play,
my apologies to earlier generations, silly
games.
And, as turnabout is fair play, it has been
with' great delight that we gals watch the
groom-to-be don the proverbial bow-covered
pie plate as a chapeau. Oh, there's any
number of bridal shower customs we would
like to try out on them, but I suspect their
being a good sport would only extend so far.
The men are not particularly thrilled by their
inclusion in this formerly female domain. In
the days leading up to the festivities even
mentioning Saturday resulted in whining to
the extreme from a certain guy at my house.
What's rather ironic is that while someone in
particular is the centre of attention, while there
is gift giving and unwrapping, the whole event
much more resembles a normal family
gathering. We visit, we eat, we drink. Who
could ask for more?
Certainly not the newlyweds to be. t
As it is with many young people today, the
couple has lived away from home for some
time now. As a result, their household meets
their needs. What this inevitably means is that
when people have asked me what the soon-to-
be-weds might like as a shower Or wedding
gift, I have experienced a little difficulty in
answering. Obviously all are appreciated, but
ie., certainly not like years ago when couples
needed virtually everything to begin their new
life.
Of course, the ingenuity of well-wishers as
always came through on this past occasion and
the treasure trove received was remarkable.
Delivered with best wishes, gift after gift was
opened revealing both necessities and
frivolities to help them set up house.
For someone who has seen two decades pass
since their own nuptials, looking at the bounty
bestowed on the betrothed couple was cause
for not just a little envy. After all, my linens
are threadbare, pot lids are handleless, and
furnishings are getting a little weary looking.
So, I got to thinking that maybe it would
make more sense to hold off on shower and
wedding gifts until the couple had been
married several years.
As this is unlikely, however, one thing I
would caution newlyweds atout is returning
anything. The voice of experience will tell you
you really can't have too much of anything.
For example my husband and I received three
griddles. Keeping them seemed ridiculous so
we returned all but one.
And then there was none.
But I digress. Weddings and the
accompanying celebrations have changed.
Stags have welcomed the does, brides opt for
less tradition. But there is no differ6r*einothe
sincere wishes extended or the lovely, ,gi tt,,
bestowed. The hope and ioy that goes hand in
hand with the start of a marriage is something
for all to enjoy and be a part.
Men included.
once came across several claims by poultry /
farmers that playing Mozart in the
henhouse resulted in as much as a five per
cent increase in egg production. About the
same time there was a controversy over
excessive amounts of money spent by one of
the marketing boards to kill off excess
chickens.
My keen economic mind immediately
spotted a money-saving device. If Mozart
calmed the chickens' minds, hard rock might to
exactly the opposite and, if you wanted to
dispose of excess poultry, all you had to do was
buy a hard rock cassette, play it in the henhouse
and it would drive the chickens to the point of
killing themselves — at a much lower cost than
the plan favoured by the marketing board.
I duly sent my suggestion off to The Globe
and Mail, and was somewhat surprised when
they featured it on the editorial page, with the
heading Rock Around the Coop.
You can be sure that I am now hard at work
thinking up other methods for farmers to use —
greater efficiency as it were for less money.
And you wondered what economists did
when not lecturing to hordes of attentive
students or writing learned papers that will
revolutionize the world.
But back to the topic at hand. I came across
one ' of Beethoven's reported statements "I
leave my music to heal the world" and
wondered if there was any recent thinking on
the subject. As a matter of fact, the medical
community in both North America and Europe
has become quite interested in the therapeutic
values of music.
Trying to pin down what this something
might be is not so easy.
One of the most promising lines of research
is in the field of acute pain. Since 1992- in a
hospital in Montana, live music has been
played to those who are in the final stages of
terminal Hitless which in many cases is cancer.
It was noticed that, after a concert by harpists
and singers, the patients needed smaller doses
of painkillers and some did without them
altogether.
One doctor referred his patients to the project
at the beginning; before long the number of
referring doctors increased to 89. Their general
Music for the mind and body
Letter to the Editor