HomeMy WebLinkAboutThe Citizen, 1998-06-10, Page 5Part of the secret of success in life is to
eat what you like and let the food light it
out inside — Mark Twain
International Scene
By Raymond Canon
THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, JUNE 10, 1998. PAGE 5.
Let us now praise
fatuous men
Could we just have a brief moment of
respectful, snigger-free silence for Hon Ming
Chen? Also known as Chen Hcng-Ming.
Or just "raving loony" for short.
The gentleman in question is a Taiwanese
religious nut and head of a tax-dodge that
calls itself God's Salvation Church, now
accepting donations at its headquarters in
Garland, Texas.
The church used to be headquartered in
Los Angeles, but Mister Ming (or Chen)
bundled it on doWn to Garland last
December, based on a heavenly revelation
viewed only by the aforementioned Mister
Chen (or Ming).
The guru informed his faithful flock that
God was about to arrive on a spacecraft.
He also announced that God would be
confirming his estimated time of arrival on
national prime time TV on March 31.
Well, March 31 came and Went with no
unscheduled VIP arrivals. Mister Ming (or
Chen) then went on television himself to
declare, "Since we did not see God's message
on television, my prediction can be
considered nonsense."
Unusually straightforward and honest, as
zealot pronouncements go. Religious
charlatans are rarely that easily dissuaded.
Take John Holme. He's a British preacher
who, last month, hit upon a novel method of
The deadlier
of the species
One of the newspapers which take my
column made reference recently to the fact
that the female was considered to be the
deadlier of the species. I thought I might help
the editor out in this respect by providing a
few examples; I think there is a corollary to
all this in that one should never
underestimate the power of a woman.
I certainly do not but I have the distinct
feeling that, in even writing about the
subject, I will cause some feminist group to
,reach for their handbooks in tarring and
feathering. If found guilty, I hope I am hung
in effigy and not in reality. There are a few
good years left in my body yet.
If there are, by chance, any opera lovers
among my readers, my first example will
probably be known to them. It comes from
the opera Turandot, one of the best works of
the Italian composer Puccini. It describes the
actions by the princess of the same name
and, needless to say, Turandot is one tough
lady. She has set a condition on any of her
suitors that they must solve all of the three
enigmas which she has set up for them.
So far, so good, but the sting is that; if a
suitor does not solve all of them, he must
immediately be put to death, his head lopped
off by the executioner Pu Tin Pau. (sounds
like Gilbert and Sullivan's Mikado).
Calif, a suitor, manages to solve the three
enigmas, but without revealing who he really
is. Turandot, far from being overjoyed, is
furious. In singing the famous aria, Nessun
dorma (let nobody sleep) she commands that
there is not rest unless the name of the suitor
is discovered. Everybody is terrified that the
whole city will be killed unless the name is
found out before dawn.
The opera has a happy ending, but it ranks
in my mind as a shining example of the
deadlier of the species syndrome.
While we are in Italy, let's stop and have a
look at Lucrezia Borgia, the female offspring
of the family that becamefamous in the 16th
century for ruthlessness, among other things.
Lucrezia worked on the assumption that,
anything her brothers did, or any of her other
relatives for that matter, she could do better.
This included getting rid of undesirable
rivals. Her way with poison got to be so
cunning that it was downright dangerous to
go to one of her parties.
She had to work hard to outshine her
relatives but outshine them she-did.
One of the first nations to become closely
acquainted withe the truth of the statement
was Rome. Shortly after they had conquered
what we know as the British Isles, they
discovered a formidable foe, Boudicca, who
led a revolt against them in 61 AD. She, (her
name is also spelt Boadicea), managed to do
something none of her male predecessors had
accomplished — seize London from the
Romans.
For someone who had no real military
out the word "not".
In their version, it read: "Thou shalt
commit adultery."
King Charles I and the Archbishop of
Canterbury were not amused. All 1,000
copies of the first printing were confiscated
and the printers were fined heavily.
Still, I imagine a 17th century Dean of
Hereford would trade that punishment for his
worst day. The Dean was a humble Christian
and he wanted to make sure everybody in
Hereford Cathedral knew it. Accordingly, he
decided that, while other clerics would walk
on foot to the cathedral on Holy Days, he
would go on horseback, so that the rabble
could better see him devoutly reading his
prayer book. He selected the biggest mare in
the stables so that he could stand out even
more from his colleagues.
Regrettably for the Dean, the mare he
selected was "in heat". This fact did not
escape the notice of a nearby stallion, which
smashed its stall to matchwood, galloped
after the mare and proceeded to mount her,
without giving the Dean time to extricate
himself from what soon became a horse
sandwich.
Ah well,— that's why Judas Thaddaeus was
-sanctified. I'm sure the Dean of Hereford,
those two Kings Printers, John Holme and
Chen Heng-Ming/Hon-Ming Chen all wish
they'd been a little more diligent in lighting
candles to Judas Thaddaeus.
Also known as Saint Jude, Patron Saint of
Hopeless Causes.
training, this was an accomplishment of the
first order and, although she was later
defeated, her valour has, in my opinion,
never been given the attention it deserved.
Just a little over 1900 years later, the
Argentinians learned that the spirit of
Boudicca was not dead in Britain. Invading
the Faulkland Islands on the assumption that
then British Prime Minister, Margaret
Thatcher, would never be able to mount an
attack to reclaim the islands, the Argentinian
government sent little more than conscripts
to ward off any presumed feeble attempt the
British might make.
Imagine their surprise, and that of much of
the rest of the world, when she assembled the
best of the British military and transported
them all the way down to the South Atlantic.
Two weeks after their arrival, the islands
were back in British hands.
I think also of Golda Meir, the prime
minister of Israel who was asked how she
had been able to defeat the best the Arabs
had to throw at her small nation. She replied
that it was easy; she had simply put all her
accountants in the front lines and yelled
"Charge!"
Of such things are legends made.
The
Short
of it
By Bonnie Gropp
Not always fun & games
It's a question of scruples.
Such was the teaser promoting a game
several years ago.
The concept is simple. Through asking
questions that require moral decision,
individuals are singled out for culpability.
On the whole, most either do the right thing
or at least admit to a dark side, though the.
completely unconscionable not only take the
low road at every turn, but lie about it when
asked. The trick is to pick who is capable of
what. It is often surprising to find out just
how unethical people are.
Making the right choice is not always as
simple as it would seem, however. A friend
and I were recently discussing ethics.. We
were frustrated to discover that the dilemma
which had precipitated the conversation
seemed to have no easy answer. While our
gut reaction appeared to be logical,
extenuating circumstances soon sent us
wading through a morass of unanswerable
doubt.
Fortunately, while most choices may
define our morals, they are seldom ones that
burden our conscience to a great extent.
There are, however, exceptions.
Jack Cook is an FBI agent whose son was
being investigated as a suspect in a double
murder. Two young people were shot in a
car, for no apparent reason. When the agent
looking into the homicide began to close in
on Andrew Cook, he enlisted his father's
help in tracking him down.
When the elder finally made contact, he
decided on the direct approach, asking Andy
if he knew who had shot the two victims.
When he received an affirmative answer, he
then asked his son point blank whether or
not he had actually committed the crime.
The answer was again yes.
Following Andy's arrest, he told his father
that he had had been motivated by some
irresistible uge to kill. "They were just there.
I pulled in and I shot them. It wasn't me,
Daddy. It was somebody else."
With little physical evidence to link Andy
to the crime, however, the prosecution asked
his father to testify against him. They also
told him they were seeking the death
penalty.
Cook agreed. "When I raised my hand 30
years ago and said, 'I do solemnly swear I'll
protect the Constitution against all enemies,'
I didn't realize the magnitude of it."
As an FBI agent, Cook had an obligation.
But as a parent, did he also have one? One of
the most important lessons to teach children
is that they must take responsiblity for their
actions. So while my heart hurt for the
moral challenge forced on this man, I also
instinctively felt he had made the right, the
only, choice.
Then I began to waffle. Firstly, I
wondered if there would have been a
confession if the FBI agent to whom Andy
opened up had not been his father. That
said, if Cook were not an agent, would he be
expected to testify against his son?
Ultimately, I came back to my original
view that difficult as it may be at times,
responsiblity for one's actions must be
accepted. Tough talk for someone not faced
with this agonizing decision.
The ethical side of the fence we're on may
at times surprise even us. But clearly, there
are occasions when the question of scruples
is not fun and games.
Arthur Black
Spreading the Word. Reverend Holme
mounted a motorized paraglider and
launched himself, armed only with a
megaphone, into the airspace over the town
of Salisbury, England.
What followed was a Keystone Kops
zigzag flight that, thanks to high winds and
pathetic piloting, nearly ended in disaster and
terrorized the populace below.
_"I thought that maybe if they heard this
voice booming out of the sky, they would
think it was God," Holme explained in court
later.
They didn't. After dive-bombing a housing
estate and barely dodging a series of trees,
fences and pop-eyed citizens, the flying
evangelist crash-landed.
He came a cropper a second time a few
days later when a Salisbury magistrate
dinged him for reckless endangerment.
"I can't believe I've got a criminal record
after this" moaned Holme.
I can't believe they let him out on the street
again.
If it's any consolation, Mister Holme joins
a colourful' crew of accident-prone
ecclesiastical types. Take Robert Barker and
Martin Lucas, two fervent 17th century _
printers who combined their secular talents
with their religious ardour to print and
publish, the shortest-lived edition of the
Bible in the history of Christendom.
Seems they made a slight error in the
printing of the Ten Commandments.
When they got to Number Seven they left