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The Citizen, 1998-06-03, Page 5A Final Thought For the egoist has so far the advantage over every other species of devotee, that his idol is ever present — Catherine Gore THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, JUNE 3, 1998. PAGE 5. Put an argyle sock in it! May the God of the Tundra forgive me. May the Frigid Furies who guard the spirit of the Great White North have mercy on my soul. I am about to utter the starkest of Canadian heresies. Here it is: I've heard enough of Stan Rogers. There. I said it. Not that I don't admire the man. He was a fine writer of songs with a wonderful ringing voice and a mesmerizing presence in concert, not to mention on cassette, LP and CD. It's just that I've ... heard enough of him. For a while. And that goes for the Barra Macleans, the Rankins, the Irish Rovers, most of Sarah McLaughlin - for any musical group within 10 feet of a fiddle, a bodhran or a penny whistle. It's Celtic Overload that I'm suffering from. Every 'time I turn on. the radio I hear Celtic music. I'd like, just for a while, to hear something - anything - else. And before you accuse me of petty nationalism or outright racism, allow me to present my own, impeccably plaid Celtic credentials. The name is Black. I hail from the heather- Never is a long time I have been somewhat amazed at the number of "experts" who have taken to writing letters to the editor of various newspapers expressing their dislike of the way talks have been going on, the Multilateral Agreement on Investment (MAI for short). I'm not sure how many of them have been influenced on The subject by Maude Barlow but, since she has been particularly vocal about the evils of the agreement, I would assume that she is something of a ringleader in this protest. I would also hazard a guess that not too many readers are acquainted enough with this topic to be able to express an opinion so a bit of background material is in order. It revolves around the desire of many countries to have some agreement on foreign investments. If you want to invest, for example, in France, what rules should govern such a movement of money and would such rules be fair. Those interested in the subject would like to think that there was some agreement in place that would treat investors equally well. With foreign investment already running at about half a trillion dollars a year, there should be some rules in place'but such is not the case. Given that we have been able to work out a great many ground rules for trade in goods clad hills and misty lochs of Clan Gregor. As my uncle laian so inelegantly put it, years ago: "Fear not my boy - you come from a long Lowland line of porridge-eaters, deer poachers and sheep molesters." "Celtic". It's certainly a venerable word. The first references appeared in Ancient Greek and Roman times, when the word was used to describe the barbarian hordes of what would one day become Western Europe. Julius Caesar refined the term, using it to refer specifically to the barbarian hordes of 'middle Gaul' - in other words, much of what became modern-day France and Germany. Somehow, in the intervening two millennia, the term came to describe the barbarian hordes who spoke a guttural family of languages including Welsh, Gaelic and Breton. And there's at least one expert who thinks the whole notion of "Celtishness" - bagpipes, shillelaghs, tartans and leprechauns - is a crock. As flat as a pint of day-old Guinness. Simon James, an archeologist at Durham University in England, maintains'that use of the label 'Celtic' is historically unfounded. He says it was part of a very "simple and attractive picture" that our ancestors invented for themselves - pleasant, but essentially bogus. James claims we've put the cart before the horse, that we've created a mythical Celtic culture and romantically superimposed it onto what he maintains were essentially mere By Raymond Canon and services between countries, it would seem like a simple matter to do the same for investment. Accordingly three years ago the Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) set out to do just that. Any agreement they could come'up with would replace the more than 1,600 bilateral agreements already in place and would at the same time, dismantle many of the barriers that still exist against foreign investors. However, what appeared to be simple has turned into anything but. After three years of often acrimonious haggling, the 140-page document currently being prepared is only a shadow of what is was intended to be. Even the watered-down version doesn't seem to please any country and it was at this point somebody pointed out that MAI does not represent a short-form, it is the Italian word for 'never.' I find it rather strange that, in spite of the fact that the negotiations have been dragging on for some time, not one of the writers to editors seems to be aware of this fact and-has written as if the agreement was on the point of being put into effect. The Canadian government, at which the letters were directed, was never close to even considering signing. It has, for openers, fought hard to restrict foreign investment in our cultural industries such as film and television. It goes without saying that banks would also come in for careful consideration. As it stands naw, the proposed agreement is dead in the water. There are a number of reasons for this inability to come to a successful conclusion. 'fringe communities' of ancient Britons. And I'm sure I don't need to tell you that Professor James has to be very careful which pub he chooses to have a pint in, of an evening. There are Celtic patriots who would cheerfully run him out of town on a greased caber. I don't know whether James is on to something or not - but I do know that anyone - archeologist or barfly - wants to think very carefully before telling Celts that they're a crock. Anyone - archeologist or barfly - attacks any culture's identity at their peril. This is a lesson that Ralph BenMergui knows far better than I do. You know Ralph - the guy who hosted the hapless Friday night CBC TV show a few years back. The critics roasted poor Ralph unmercifully. Finally, he bailed from the Friday night slot in a hail of bad reviews and slim ratings. But he's still with the CBC. Nowadays, Ralph fronts a daytime talk show on the tube. Recently, the topic for discussion was: "Celtic Music: Enough Already". Apparently not. The phone lines lit up, the studio audience hissed and Ralph was forced to retreat once again, confessing that he had ah, perhaps underestimated the fervour of Celtic music fans. Last week on the show, Ralph was apologizing all over the place. And rightly so. The Celts have a long history of honourable behaviour. Ben Murgui that's a Highland Scots clan, isn't it? One is the fact that the OECD is ill-equipped to carry out such detailed and wide-ranging negotiations. The organization is far better known for its economic research than international negotiation and one earlier attempt to establish some binding rules on investment ended in total failure. Perhaps the job should have been left to the World Trade Organization, the successor to GATT, since there is much more expertise in this body. Then again, too many countries which would be affected by any agreement on investment were not even allowed to take part in the negotiations since they were not members of OECD. If you are going to have rules which affect foreign investment in your country, it would seem logical that you have some hand in drafting these rules. This was not the case. Finally, as I indicated above, each of the countries taking part has many likes and dislikes which it is reluctant to abandon. Labour laws and the environment rank high on this list but with widely varying standards. The best thing would be a transfer of the entire matter over to the World Trade Organization. In the meantime anybody who might be considering a letter can rest assured that MAI is, indeed, a long, long time away. The Short of it By Bonnie Gropp No certainties It seems a fitting testimony to the tragic ironies of this life. Last week, Brantford-born comic actor Phil Hartman was shot to death, apparently by his third wife, former model Brynn Omdahl, who then turned the gun on herself. For those who have spent the past two decades in orbit, and are perhaps not familiar with Hartman, the gifted mimic was, among others, Bill Clinton and Frank Sinatra during an eight-year run on Saturday Night Live. He gave voice to numerous characters on The Simpsons, and most recently was enjoying success as a newsanchor on NBC's comedy hit News Radio. Though born in Ontario, Hartman only resided here for eight years before his family moved to the States. Yet, by all accounts he cherished his roots. The mayor of Brantford described him as being "incredibly generous in remembering" Brantford. Known professionally for his rich broadcaster baritone and sanctimonious attitude, the real Hartman, according to friends, was a down- to earth guy, who was truly happy and devoted to his family. Yet, behind the scenes, something obviously went very wrong. The life of this man, who brightened the lives of others either through knowing him or through his humour, became sadly and darkly destined. People may never know what really went wrong, whether the path to this tragedy was one that had been travelled for a time, or if it was a split second wrong turn. But like so many human stories, the sad ending was shocking. The personal struggle that would lead to this, seems incongruous to the public image presented. Yet, in a world of wondrous variety, full of thunderbolts and blue skies this conflict of perception is more the norm than the exception. Should we really be so surprised? Abominations happen in beautiful places. Trust is betrayed by a hand once extended in friendship. The face of an angel can belie the heart of a demon. We live in a world replete with disarming contradictions. As we can't always understand calamity on a sunny day, nor the waste of a brilliant mind left fallow, nor the innocence of a child jaded by harsh realities, neither is it easy to accept the degeneration of a spirit, the rage created when love becomes angry. But, things are seldom as they appear, seldom as they should be, or as we expect them to be. Fortunately the contradictions work both ways. Dismal days are followed by sunny skies. There are fools to suffer and geniuses to applaud and for every person brought low, there is someone who rises above. There will always be tragic stories like that of the Hartmans that make us wonder how what outwardly appeared so right could go so wrong. But one thing is certain — nothing can ever be taken for granted. How often has someone smugly proclaimed, "That will never happen to me." — and it does? How many times has someone in all sincerity announced, "I could never do that — and they do?" The intricacies of humanity, the diversity or this world preclude any certainties. Arthur Black International Scene