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PAGE 18. THE CITIZEN, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 15, 1998.
For Teens, By Teens
Teens need to learn more about issue
By Amy Crawford
Jennifer was in her first year at
university and was thrilled when
Luke, a second year student and
captain of the football team,
approached her at a party and later
asked her out.
He was very attractive and he
picked her up in his BMW. They
went to dinner and, after a movie,
Luke asked Jennifer if she would
like to go back to his apartment for
DEAR JANN,
I have been best friends with
"Marcia" for a long time. We did
everything together. Two months
ago she started going out with
"Steve". Ever since, the two have
been "stuck together like glue". I
guess it is serious, they ignore me
when I hang out with them.
I really don't mind Steve, but I
miss spending time with Marcia. I
tried to confront her about her
ignoring me, but she called me
selfish and petty. I want to spend
time with my best friend again,
please, Jann, help me out.
Despairing
DESPAIRING,
It's always hard to adjust when
your best friend doesn't want to
spend time with you. Approach her
about having a girls' night out.
Have you ever needed to talk
about an important issue, but you
had no one to turn to?
Well now the local youth centre
in Brussels, The Ark, has
developed a program just for that
situation. Teens Talking to Teens is
an open discussion group designed
for teens who need someone to talk
to when there is no one else. This
program was designed by Marylou
Crosby, Cody Nichol and Sarah
Seeds in early February and has
been open to the public since mid-
February.
It can never hurt for a teen to
have someone to talk to outside of
the family. Often kids need to open
up to someone who has no previous
knowledge of the situation.
In today's world who doesn't
need someone to talk to?
What happens during the
program's time slot is confidential,
what is heard in the building stays
in the building. Confidentiality is
based on trust; since we have no
way to make each youth keep quiet,
we take their word for it.
Discussions range from
relationships, substance abuse,
school to even music or social
events.
Now some parents out there
might be saying, "The whole town
doesn't need to know our family's
business!" So for situations like
those we have set up a suggestion
box, when you enter the building if
coffee. Jennifer agreed to go for a
short while.
After arriving at the apartment,
Luke began to make advances and
Jennifer protested. Jennifer was
very embarrassed that this was
happening and didn't want to
antagonize Luke. They were alone
and she did not see any way out.
He ignored her protests and raped
her repeated for two hours.
When he was finished, Luke
nonchalantly drove Jennifer back to
Although the two are "stuck
together like glue", I'm sure they
will be willing to spend just one
evening apart.
Try to understand her situation,
someday you will likely be in
Marcia's position. Don't whine and
complain, it only makes Marcia
want to spend less time with you.
If you give the two their space
they'll be more appreciative of you
and she'll want to spend time with
you. In the future this situation will
become more frequent.
DEAR JANN,
I turned 18 two weeks ago. On
the day of my birthday my parents
proclaimed that I am to start to pay
a monthly rent. That might be okay
if I had a job, but I don't.
Whenever I get a hold of some
you have something on your mind,
write it down on a piece of paper
and slip it into the box. Although
your topic might not be chosen for
that week's discussion, there is
always the next session.
If your situation is urgent simply
explain it to the youth volunteer or
call that night, and he or she will
arrange for someone to talk to you
her residence.
One of the most relevant yet
uneducated problems facing teens
in society today is rape and sexual
assault. When defined by law,
sexual assault is if you were forced
to kiss, fondle or have sexual
intercourse with a person or you
were kissed or touched in a sexual
way without your consent (with no
sign of physical injury or abuse).
Date rape is defined as a sexual
money it is gone before I blink. I
really can't pay rent.
What should I tell my parents?
Needing Money from Morris
Twp.
NEEDING MONEY,
Civilly discuss your situation
with your parents. In the meantime,
if you are not already, start
searching for a job. Volunteer to do
extra chores at home in exchange
for not paying rent. They will likely
agree with that, but then, don't
complain when they ask you to do
chores.
Also, it is a big help if you take
the initiative and do work without
being told.
Send your problems or concerns
to Jann Flanders, do North Huron-
Citizen, PO Box 429, Blyth, ON
NOM IHO.
or they will sit down and help you.
This is a great opportunity for kids
with problems or questions about
any situation.
The program runs weekly, on
Wednesday evenings, from 6:30 -
8 p.m. There is no charge.
So from now on when there's no
one else to talk to head down to
The Ark and someone will try to
help you resolve the issue.
assault which occurs in a dating or
social situation.
Some girls when confronted with
this sort of situation blame
themselves. One of the most
common myths supporting this is
that a person who gets raped
deserves it, especially if she agreed
to go to the man's house or ride in
his car.
The reality is that no one, male or
female, deserves to be raped. Being
in a man's house or car does not
mean you have agreed to have sex
with him. No one has the right to
force you to engage in any sexual
activity against your will. You
always have the right to say "No".
There are some early warning
signs of teen dating violence. One
is if the person you are dating is
jealous and possessive toward you,
won't let you have friends, checks
up on you, won't accept breaking
up. The person tries to control you
by being very bossy, giving orders,
making all the decisions or doesn't
take your opinion seriously.
Another sign is that they blame
you when they mistreat you, say
you provoked them, have a history
of bad relationships and blames the
other person for all problems.
My reasons for writing this
article stemmed from statistics that
were handed out in health class.
Some of the statistics say that one
in four women surveyed were
victims of rape or attempted rape,
84 per cent of those raped knew
their attacker and 57 per cent of the
rapes happened on dates. About 75
per cent of the men and at least 55
-per cent of the women involved in
acquaintance rapes had been
drinking or taking drugs just before
the attack.
Some advice for average teens is
to make sure they have a healthy
relationship, to learn to love and
care within their family, learn to
care for themselves, learn to care
for friends. Then they will be ready
to become involved in a one-on-
one relationship.
To help prevent sexual
abuse/assaults from occurring make
sure you set sexual liMits early in a
relationship with verbal
communication, understand that
alcohol and drugs increase risk and
be assertive and trust your instincts.
If you don't feel comfortable, stay
away.
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